Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Cold and rainy here today. I put the Christmas decorations up yesterday, glad that’s done. You’d think that since I like to decorate cakes, I’d enjoy decorating the house but I don’t, but I like it done. I love the lights and magical feeling of it all.
Rava, like you, my happy place became a holy hell. I WAS starting earlier in the day and my tolerance was way up there, too. Even I was alarmed at my intake, but that didn’t seem to slow down my addiction. I’d love to be able to drink now and then and it not be a big deal, but like being rich and thin, that’s not happening either. It’s just easier to have none. There at the end, there was NO happy place...
nothing happy about AL, it was a requirement to get through the day. I prayed that I wouldn’t drink too much each day so nobody would notice. They did. It was awful.
Hoping for a lazy day today. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi nesters,extra help please,family came down and aren't leaving til Tuesday!!! My mom is a huge trigger for me,she's hyper and loud and was one of my big drinking buddies back in the day,,will be checking in frequently throughout this weekend

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Slo, i always smell my drinks, i trust no one when i am in that situation. We promise you will get to the stage where you dont care being around people and not drinking which is where the drinkers become so annoying you are just happy in your own company, which is what i was when i was drinking but now i dont drink. You are doing so well.

Rava, great work on coming back. for us alkies 1 or 100 is never enough. I would like to be able to have one every now and again to join in celebrations or festivities but i will never play russian roulette with my life now. none is way better. Keep plugging away and be grateful for each day you dont drink.

Went back to the dermatologist on Thursday and had a biopsy on my hand of which i think the needle was more painful than the one above my lip, she also froze the one above my lip, so looking pretty attractive at the moment but hopefully will get some answers.

Other than that its Sunday here and a miserable day outside, going to the op shops to buy some books to read as going away next weekend for 4 days. looking forward to a break after a hectic time at work.

xpost Pauly, remove yourself from the situation, go for a walk, put some headphones on to drown out the noise and always say NO. two little words that will get you through. i used to go into my bedroom for some time out and log on here. you have got this, its your choice and you dont want to drink. Firsts are a bitch but you will be as proud of punch with yourself for making it through this situation.

take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

for us alkies 1 or 100 is never enough. I would like to be able to have one every now and again to join in celebrations or festivities but i will never play russian roulette with my life now. none is way better.

These are strong words, and I like them! Very empowering.

I did smell the drink but was smelling for beer since iced tea can look like a flat amber, so didn’t detect the vodka.
I bought some Stash decaf chai spice tea today, Lav, and tried it. Nice!
I went out for Fish Fry last night with the side of the family that we didn’t have Thanksgiving with, and it was perfectly fine for me to drink a couple special NA beers while everyone else drank, and just enjoyed the food & conversation! So, dinners out are going pretty well for me now.

Well, I was a prodigious Black Friday shopper this year! I went out on Thanksgiving night since we were home rather early, and got a couple big items on discount; then went to the mall on Friday. So out of character! But I went with my daughter both times, so it was nice to shop together. And she will be driving by next year, so might be less likely to accompany Mom in the future.

Rava, you don’t want to be the “old drunk grandmother” like your mom, so that gives you a good image to keep in your mind when the urge to drink strikes. Remember who you don’t want to be! Then sub in what you do want to be like, and how you want to be remembered.

Oh boy, Pauly; this is a challenge for you. But you were able to easily stay sober around your mom on her turf the last time you went there, so now on to the next challenge to stay sober when she & they are on your turf. You can do it! But, go take Winslow for a walk when it gets to be too much.

Relax & enjoy your decorations now, Byrdie!
Wishing a safe night in the nest to all.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Alls ok tonight,,I think my mom's going to have beers in a bit but I'll be heading to bed anyways,,Available,I hope your hand and lip are healed fast! Waves to all

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Kinda late but wanted to check in! Great to see everyone checking in today.

Slo, glad you liked the tea! I have to warn you ~ it's addictive, haha!!!!
Brave of you to go out shopping!

Ava, I sure hope your biopsies are clear.
Try to relax a bit this weekend

Pauly, why don't you enlist some help with your Mom? Get your husband to watch her & keep her at arm's length, so to speak. The others here have given you some helpful ideas, use them. We're with you!

Byrdie, come decorate my house. I like it when it's done too.
I have to wait a bit longer, still focusing on birthdays this month (son & grandson).

Rava, glad you are enjoying AF days!
Keep the gratitude going - it's really strengthens your quit.

Hello to the rest of the group & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!


Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Lav,that's an idea to enlist hubs,ugh I loooove my mom but holy shit she can be a handful! It would be ok if it weren't such a long visit,,I wasn't expecting this I already had a weird week with so many days off work I just want my normalcy back,I'm stressed about Christmas as it is,meh,I'll be ok,Ava,I too meant to say I hope the biopsy has good results,I was in such a rush last night I forgot to say that too,Slo,thank you,you're right I can do this wishes to all for a happy,unchained Sunday!

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Its a beautiful day today and supposed to be 60. Planning on finding a sunny spot to read today. Staying focused and AF. Pauly, good luck with your mom. I guess she is leaving today? So you will have some relief and things will get back to normal. Byrdie, my decorations consist of a prelit tree. DONE. Takes no time to put up and take down! LOL. Hope everyone has a great and peaceful Sunday.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Pauly, I feel you! I live in close proximity to ALL of my family, and ALL of my husband's family - both a blessing and a curse. I love my family and have fun with them, but I DO get tired of them and sometimes just want to see friends or have it quiet. Both of my parents moved from their homes to be out here in CA, and therefore Thanksgiving and Christmas were a blend of friends who were like family to me - without the complications. On this Thanksgiving when my FIL was bugging me, I just went into another room and shut the door - just for 5 minutes of quiet. It was helpful. I hope your mom is ok, and Tuesday is a long time away. Good luck.

Ava, glad the biopsy was negative - those little injuries in sensitive places are annoying.

Wrapping up a nice long weekend here. I have some work to do today, and I want to do some meal prep so that I have healthy lunches to take this week - too much un-fettered eating this long weekend! Hope you all take some time to take care of yourselves. It is important...

xo
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pauly, I feel for you; having houseguests is stressful. I like normalcy too.

Rava, I love it: you stick up a pre-lit tree, and your Christmas decorating is done! Hysterical! But really, why stress over it?
I did Phase 1 of my decorating today; most everything but the tree. That will be next weekend. My husband was really interested in and dedicated to decorating the outside this year, so that was really nice. Wonders never cease. I don’t have call it the bah-humbug house this year! And he recruited our daughter to help him today, so we all worked together on the house to make Christmas happen! Such a nice change.

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION], I appreciated your post earlier about staying over at your son’s for hunting. It’s good to hear stories about others having to navigate around alcohol everywhere. And you solidified your son’s trust in your quit!

[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], to answer your earlier question, D3’s fiancé’s parents live in the Midwest USA also, but about 7 hours from us, so we met in the middle; which is near where their wedding will be. The kids already live away, in Texas. How was your Thanksgiving that you hosted?

[MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION], I guess we all have to remember that our happy place that we all sought with alcohol was no longer a happy place if our alcohol fix was a requirement to get through the day. I too was getting dismayed by how much I was needing to drink in order to find my happy place.

Off to watch football with half an eye while enjoying the Christmas decorations!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Phase II Thanksgiving/dual birthday celebrations here today, haha!!
My son & grandsons deserve some birthday attention after all, don't they?
Heading up to 50 degrees tomorrow but we're getting more rain after the 3.5" deluge we got yesterday, yikes!

Pauly, I'm thinking about you & know you can stand your ground where your Mom is concerned!
Put some distance between the two of you if you feel uncomfortable, right?

Rava, Pav, Slo - good to see all of you & hello to everyone else.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday Morning Nesters. It was good to wake up again clear headed and sober. Yesterday I had a few cravings which i was lucky enough to work through without giving in. I started binge watching a show on A and E about paramedics and it sure gives one an idea about drug and alcohol addiction and how people literally are overdosing in the street. Kind of helped my craving at that point watching others in distress. I guess thats not quite correct but on a personal note, it helped me. I have my prelit tree and some colorful oil diffusers set around the house and thats my Christmas decorations. No stress this year over gift buying etc. as I’m giving money to my kids and presents for only the grand kids. That takes a lot of pressure not to mention wrapping woes out of the equation. Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday. Thanks to everyone for being here.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hope all US Nesters had a nice holiday. Now onto the extra-long pre-Christmas season...

I was at the grocery store yesterday and saw a woman in her 60s buying a bottle of wine and 2 tomatoes. It was a flashback for me - all the times I bought "masking" items I didn't really need just so it wasn't obvious to everyone that I was there for my fix. The average person may not know what's going on but I bet the clerks have figured it out and certainly we recognize a fellow traveler... I felt very sad for her. I would never do it but I would love to be able to give her a hug and tell her it doesn't have to be like this. But if someone had approached me, I would have been mortified and would have denied it so I would never put someone in that situation. Hopefully someday she will find her way out.

Please don't stray from the Nest over the coming weeks - it is a really important time for protecting the life you've gained. xx, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, guess everyone is busy shopping, etc?

Dark & rainy today as predicted but it was a perfect day to make a turkey pot pie & use up the last of the turkey, yay!!

Rava, my son is a medic/firefighter in DC & he has some stories, very sad.
We are fortunate to have found our way out, now we only need to stay on the right path.

NS, we still don't have alcohol sales in the grocery stores around here but that's perfectly OK with me. There is a gigantic wine & spirits shops just a few doors down from the grocery store. Haven't stepped foot in there in nearly 10 years & never will. I was that person stopping in there over & over, I'm sure the employees wondered what happened to me when I suddenly disappeared. Grateful that is all history now

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!


Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all!
NS, your story sure reminds me of how I used to shop, also. What normal person buys 10 small boxes of wine? Yes, if someone had approached me I would have been mortified, too.
Had a great long weekend. It was hard to get back at it today. The hag and the project manager were still off today, so that was nice.
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie