Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nest:

Wags, I hope that conversation goes well. Must be frustrating. One thing I know is that with being sober I am much more willing to stand up for myself in many different scenarios. I have more confidence in my thought process and understanding, so I am more willing to call people on their s#*t. You go, girl!

G, I am inspired by your food consumption. That is the thing I need to get control of at this point. Since quitting alcohol, I have been able to eat more bad food without gaining weight. I know I feel better when I am eating well. Normally I would prefer savory to sweet, but once I open the door for sweet I am off to the races. I can't just have one small candy if a bowl is in front of me - I have five! I am a realist, however, and I know it won't be great for the next three weeks or so. A new year's resolution - less sweets, more greens!

I'm off to get some things done. Or not...

Happy SOBER Sunday.
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi SLO. I have a swim banquet tonight... must be the day for them. I don’t expect booze there. Hopefully I’m feeling up for it as I’ve picked up my husbands stomach flu junk. He’s had it for 4 days... here’s hoping mine is quicker so I can enjoy my trip to the spa tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a good day.

It’s your birthday LC?? give yourself a big hug from me!!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

What's a swim banquet Kensho? Everyone does a few laps of the pool after demolishing an all you can eat spread? :congratulatory: Hope that bug moves on real quick. Is it your anniversary in a few hours?!!! I'll be at the party!

LC, 50 is the new 70! :applouse: But seriously, congrat's on 7 days tomorrow and a big happy birthday to you. Do something real nice for yourself mi amiga. You're worth it.

Thanks for your kind words Wags. Hope you're good there. You're another award winning total Raaawk star 'round this joint.

Well, my horse Mr J was fairly tolerant of this knucklehead greenhorn, and we went well without incident. He was a big stunning looking beast, handsome and distinguished. Very powerful looking animal. His owner patted him on the head saying ....'he doesn't like people touching his head' as he turned away not quite rearing up as i sat on him clueless! Er, thanks, that's great to know. You can stop patting his head now! lol. I'll be going again. Might have to drag Ava along.....

Have a beaut week all. Big waves and looking forward to the one year and 49 year birthday celebrations!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well the start of the working week and then im on leave. Woo hoo for me!

Happy birthday LC, not sure if it is today or tomorrow but have a happy day and enjoy those 7 days sober girl. Just think when you turn 50 you will have a double celebration of one year sobriety and the big 50. i tried to have a mid life crisis when i turned 50 but didnt have time.

Well G i will contemplate the horse riding date, where did you go? Had a chuckle when the owner said he doesnt like his head patted.

Wags, apparently im early stages too and im not sure people around me will live till the end of this crap. hope the chat goes well, i dont have much tolerance for fools now, as i work in the public service there appears to be a lot of people that dont feel the need to work and it annoys the crap out of me.

Last night i decided to make some salads to take to work, i need to lose 2kgs (at least) to fit into my clothes comfortably so went out to the vege garden and picked some lovely fresh spinach and basil to add. my son decided he wanted to have a garden and as he is not the most motivated soul on this earth i thought it would never happen but with some gentle perseverance its looking great and i love watering the plants in the afternoon and watching them grow. Now all i have to do is stay away from chocolate, like you Pav once i start i cant stop.

A big day for you tomorrow Kensho so you had best be healthy girl. I had the same thoughts as G about a pool banquet but mine was more everyone is in the pool and there are floating tables full of food.

Well back to the salt mine i go. take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Ava & G - you guys crack me up, ha ha!! Over here we have banquets for just about everything. Have you ever been to a Girl Scout banquet? You don't eat girl scouts there, LOL
For some reason we seem to have to provide food for every occasion - the end of the swim teams year is usually celebrated with a banquet

LC, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. Wishing you a very happy & healthy AF year ahead because we know this is what yo truly want

Kensho, hope you feel better quickly so you can celebrate your anniversary too.

I'm trying to kick of a few pounds before the holidays but honestly, it seems like mission impossible at my age. Metabolisms change, mine sure has.
I've been keeping busy trying to get people's embroidery orders together while trying to get my own holiday stuff done too. No rest for the weary.

Byrdie, thinking of you & imagining you are seeing snow!!! Hope everything is OK & you have power & all that.

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Goodnight everyone, lots of great posts here.

Happy Birthday Life!

Giddyup G

Yeah, I need to lose a few lbs myself, ugh. I’ve been hitting the sugar lately. I just can’t say No to Sugat, right NS?

I read something about moderation, yup, I moderate in my dreams.

Goodnight.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick morning post on my way to start my day..

KENSHO, wishing you a wonderful celebration today on your first af, year of freedom anniversary! I'm very happy for you..:heartbeat:

Let's hear it for Un-hung Mondays! Even though I have a fuzzy head and stuffed sinuses, and I don't want to go to work! I'm feeling a million times better than I was a week ago.. for one simple (though not always easy) reason ..xx

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters and Happy Birthday LC. Hope you enjoy your day! Back to another work week. Happy to have 2 AF weekends under my belt. I am sleeping better and my energy level is up. I just want to keep up this momentum. Seems like my brain is in the right place right now. No cravings lately. I dont know why but when my brain is not completely in gear, I give into all cravings. When I am thinking straight and take alcohol off the table, there are no cravings. I know I can do this as I have a total of 8 years of sobriety. So onward I go.......

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

You did it, friend KENSHO! Congratulations to you on making it a whole entire year AF! I do hope you are well enough for your spa day. That’s a great way to celebrate your achievement.

I enjoyed a bar-free “swim banquet” this time -just coffee & OJ for everyone. (You learned something new, G & Ava!) And doughnuts, waffles with syrup, -then cake for dessert! I guess we do celebrate everything with food over here, Lav.

Happy birthday to you, LC! Ava has a great point, that you can have a double birthday now for your 50th next year -one year AF too. I was starting to have noticeable alcohol problems in my late 40s, so I totally intended to be AF by age 50. I got through the holidays drinking, then started that year AF on Jan.1st, but when my birthday came a week later a little surprise party was thrown, so I downed a lot of beers with the relatives instead of being dry & feeling awkward ...and there went that firm intention. 5 YEARS slipped by with me slipping & sliding, as I’m now approaching 55! You want to get something straightened out in your life before you turn 50, and this can be it.

Ava, I didn’t know you had Target in Australia! Sounds like you’re staying on top of Christmas.
I find it fascinating that you work in neurology at a hospital, so get to see firsthand the terrible results of heavy drinking on your patients. Most of us only see the other side, the glamorization of drinking culture.
It’s a good counterbalance for this time of year.

Best wishes to all for a good AF day!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Oh my goodness, Ava. You crack me up. This is 100% correct.

i tried to have a mid life crisis when i turned 50 but didnt have time.

Happy Birthday, LC! I love that goal of one year and 50 next year. Gives you something to strive for. I very much enjoyed not drinking as I turned 50 - I just changed the party to a daytime hike and cake on the beach.

Way to go, Rava. You will build that sober muscle slowly but surely. My kid decided to do homework instead of go with some friends this weekend. i had a talk with him about building that muscle of deciding to do what he should do first. Everything takes practice. Do you have a plan for when that first big craving comes? What will you do? Can you agree to check in here first??

Oy, I am with you all for whom those couple of pounds don't come off easily any more (nor do the kgs). If I can maintain where I am for the next three weeks, I'll consider it a victory.

Happy MONDAY,
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Monday. Thanks LC and SLO! I'm feeling better but not entirely. Still going to the spa because I can't cancel it now - hopefully that will be more helpful than harmful. Blech - I really appreciate my health when I have it!

One year down, the rest of my life to go - life is better without any alcohol at all. No more of that circus in my head Not feeling like writing much at this moment, but thank you all for such constant and wise support. It has made all the difference to me!

Happy day everyone.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], and Happy Rebirthday, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]!

I agree with the others LC, keep this quit you've got going!! --- envision yourself turning 50 with a solid 1+ year AF behind you!

And then take a moment to see how you'll be feeling next year if you don't. I know you don't want that to be the outcome.
Having let yourself down before does not at all mean you will do it again. You have the power.

Keep the positive, successful vision with you during this next year, with each decision you make taking you closer and closer to that goal.

Then we can celebrate you like we're celebrating Kensho today :smile:.


Kensho, your first post (or at least the first one I remember seeing) really blew me away. You expressed your pain (and mine) so clearly through poetry:

(sorry, this is long. It just felt good to say things I've never shared with anyone. Thank you for accepting it.)

Good morning. My name is Kensho (not really). I am brand new here. It was recommend that I post my story here.

I am a mother of two young children and a business owner, officing from home. I grew up in a family that appreciated moderate drinking, and didn't frown on a little more than moderate. No abuse, no alcoholism. The "acceptance for" and "celebration of" alcohol gave me the green light to imbibe without fear or much thought. From the age of 20 (now 38) I drank moderately. I drank because it helped with social and other anxiety, as well as depression.

8 years ago, when my son was born, life began to feel pretty hard. As a very independent person, I found myself with a very dependent little life. At the same time, I left the design firm I was at and started my own business. I found myself constantly overwhelmed with the responsibilities of a house, business and child... drinking more helped. In 2007, I wrote this during one of my ritual evening drinks:

I want to get fucked up
Float, sail through space;
Notes of liquid music
Sound the rhythm of escape

I want to feel the fuzz
The known numb, a tease
Pressure finds an outlet
And rhythm is release

Discord sounds appealing
With the filter of a sip
Red, thick wine
Fill my mouth and stain my lips
-2007

7 years later, I am struggling with my habit. I consume 2-4 drinks per night, which is a recent increase. I still have considerable stress with my business, though it is successful. I have noticed no dramatic repercussions from my drinking. But yet: I distance myself from my husband and children, I am not fit and healthy like I used to be, I am more irritable, and I haven't felt 100% upon waking in many years. Most of all, I am terrified of the health consequences I am setting myself up for. My liver hurts, and my hormones seem to be really out of whack (could also be due to the 2-am-ers I frequently pull).

In 2011 I continued to recognize my drinking:

I drink and I think and appreciate
My friends of the pete and the starch
Such reliable and comforting allies
As I make my feet do this march.
I’m tired. I’m freyed and I’m worn
I’m no match for the schedule I must
2am battles of will and of wake
My house is disorder and dust.
My heart aches for the smiles of my children
And to know what they love, why they laugh
And it hurts that I work when they need me
Through the tears and trials on their path.
I make pretty and foolish amendments
To the spaces of those I’ve just met
Yet its my home that needs more the loving
And my heart that is feeling regret.

(and I wrote this the same year...)

They feel second to tile and phone calls
They are privy to my yelling voice
They are directed in profitable tempo
As I make others my daily choice.
Dollars and stuff and pretty fake fluff
My words try to teach them well
But my actions say “not now!” and “hold on a moment”
As I drink and I draft and I sell.

I wake up in the morning, ashamed of myself. I pull through the first hour and carry on with my day - typically successful with my client meetings and work. I never want a drink in the mornings, and midday is usually pretty positive for me. Yet every day at 2-4 pm I start to think about, and think about, and think about what I can drink. I'm so tired of this fight. Most days I give in and just buy the damn wine. Some days I hold out until after dinner and sneak whatever liquor from our basement cabinet that won't be noticed. Then I become tired, irritable, and I don't read as long to my children. If I go back to working at 9:00, I drink because I hate the fact that I'm working. If I don't work, I drink more because I feel guilty that I'm not working, or as a "reward" that I can relax. Then I fall asleep often not attending to the huge laundry pile or dishes, and certainly not my husband for a cuddle or alone time (I have no libido).

Occasionally over the past few years, I've had a good fight inside me:

A DANGEROUS FLIRT:
You call for me
Early in the day with a
Provocative promise
of guilty satisfaction.
But I am better than you
I am a fighter.
The center of my core
Greets you at my door
and pushes back against
your smooth intoxication.
I will beat you.
- 2012

Yet, here I am in 2014. Drinking every night, and sometimes as early as 2:00 in the afternoon.

I want to have a clear mind and a clean body. I want more than anything to be a "present" mother and wife and friend. I want to teach my children that alcohol is not a way to cope. I want to know that I am not willingly contributing to future health risks - I'm sure I've done some damage already. I want to be with myself and feel comfortable in my skin without the numb of a drink.

And I don't know how.

And here you are in 2018 - one of the strongest voices on MWO expressing the joy and freedom of life without addiction.

With much love, respect, and admiration, NS :hug:

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], I also was going to quit before I was 50, then on my 50th birthday, then during that year... Like you're going to have, 55 was my first sober birthday. What a relief!!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Happy birthday LC! I hope you are having a bewdy over there. Keep up that self respectful sober living.

Hi Rava. Keep that great work going!

And now to friend Kensho.......well. What an absolute RAAAAWK STAR!!! Congratulations on 1 year booze free good buddy. What great words/posts from you that NS shared above. You are amazing and living your truth (our truth) is so obviously powerful. No limits. There is no stopping you now. How cool is this. Wowza! :thumbsup:

But let's talk about me for a sec.....:congratulatory:.......I'll be 90 days AF tomorrow my time (wednesday).

Take it easy out there. Lot's of real life inspiration today right here in the legendary newbies nest. :heartbeat:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Happy 1st birthday Kensho, oh i still remember your initial posts of struggles and relapses and justification, like us all you finally realised that unless the hard work and dedication was put in the cycle would never end. You have achieved so much growing and learning in this first year and while the work is not and will never be done you have completed your first year sober and with sanity intact. So proud of you today and i hope you celebrate this special occasion. love and hugs for today xx

great work on 90 days G, day by day is all we can do on this journey.

NS where do you seem to find these posts and from 2014. It just goes to show the hold that al has over us until something clicks in our skulls that stopping is so much easier than fighting to drink. Read that post from Kensho and seeing the hold that al had definitely makes my quit stronger and determination.

Rava, you are sounding good and positive, keep up those happy thoughts as we head into the silly season even more. So many stressors at this time of year to unbalance us. keep on here and being accountable.

Slo, ive been working in Neurology for 11 years and when i drank i always justified that "i was never that bad" when people would come in with seizures or falls or neuropathies and it surely would never happen to me. I count myself as one of the lucky ones now i am sober. I do love Target i must say though not overly impressed with their fashion this year, i was thinking the other night they should sack said person who orders their clothes.

Well only 3 more sleeps till i am on leave and my motivation for work is zero. My fur baby is not well, i thought she was dead this morning but she was sleeping very soundly. i can see in her eyes she is not well and i just want to be home so may work at work for a few hours and then leave. we have a free xmas lunch today so need to get the freeby in while i can.

take care xx