Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, interesting that we both tried to be quit by our 50th birthday, but didn’t make it until our birthday half a decade later! Better late than never. And Lav at age 55 too...at least I’m in good company!

Feebee! I thought we lost you -stumbling around in the darkened chat room by yourself or somewheres. I’m delighted to hear that you have two & a half weeks! Yes, we have to get through not only the big event, but also the let-down period afterwards. We can’t let our guard down then. The longer AF period before Christmas this year should help you get through that.

Way to go, G-man, on 3 months!

I like your boundaries, Byrdie: refusing to let Ms. Hag and Mr. Inept walk all over you.

Wishing us all a cozy night in the nest!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey G Man, way to go, 90 days!!! Yippee! You raawk.

Fee, way to go on your Two weeks!

Byrdie, you can join me in the unemployment line, at least you aren’t putting up with your manager’s crap.

Ava, that’s nice you are starting to look for a rescue. A lucky pup is waiting for you

Have a good night everyone, don’t drink tonight.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Busy days & evenings for me so I'm late again. At least I am accomplishing quite a bit of work haha!

Feebee, Congrats on your just about 3 weeks, awesome

Rava, 12 AF days, wonderful. I imagine you are beginning to believe in yourself again, that's important.

Byrdie, apparently the HAG needs bigger stick pins, LOL
Glad you are sticking up for yourself, proud of you

Ava, great that your pup is feeling better, they are so special.
Since we lost our big Swiss mountain dog I've been thinking about another rescue to keep my beagle mix (and me) company.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters! Day 13 ahead of me. Looking forward to it. Feeling good these days and sleeping really well. Thats practically a miracle because if I wasn’t drinking alcohol during my relapse, i was taking a sleeping pill. So these past 14 days I have taken nothing to help me sleep. I am amazed as I have been self medicating for insomnia for about 15 years. Going out to a Christmas party tonight with neighbors and feel confident that I will be drinking Diet Coke. Hope everyone has a great Wednesday.

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

This is my first post here - I have decided to quit or at least moderate with alcohol - I had 3 bottles of wine last night - yep even for an Irish man that's a lot! bought 6 bottles of wine in LIDL yesterday because it was so cheap - have 12 bottles in the fridge - let's see if I am brave enough to throw them down the sink... let's see!

Anyway just saying hello and glad to be part of the community.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome aboard, 3B's! You couldn't be in better company. Yes, getting rid of those bottles will be a key in getting through all this. Sooner or later, they start talking and then the next thing you know, they're gone! Tis the season, can you give them as quick gifts?
I have 2 suggestions for you as you get underway and the first one is to visit the Tool Box (link in my signature line). it's loaded with tips and coping skills to help you through the first challenging days. The second is to get yourself a PLAN. As with any journey we undertake, if you don't have a roadmap, you end up all over the place. Getting a PLAN in place will help! What is a plan? Let me go see if I can find mine.....hang tight.
Here you go:
Whatis a Plan?
I heard about this thing called a Plan, and I HAD plans, but I wouldn'tcall it a PLAN, as such....it was more of a HOPE. A GOAL, even. A PLAN soundedway too formal for this thing I was embarking on...after all, what if I failed?Hope is NOT a strategy. Get yourself a PLAN.

#1 Failure is not an option. When you think you are going to fail, guess what?You FAIL! Wrote this book on this one. Get your mind into a mode of THIS WILLBE DONE. Don't be willy-nilly, or your willy will get nillied. Your mind isyour best friend and your biggest enemy. Control IT and you will win. Controlyour thoughts and you will win.

Get all of the AL out of your house/space. Yes...ALL of it. You don't need asafety net because you are not going to fail. I fought this one hard, but Iwasn't able to succeed until I did it. No, I was NOT different than everybodyelse, I could not resist it if it was in the house. GET IT OUT.

Get your story down as to why you're not drinking. This is important. Get astory together you can live with. I actually have ulcerative colitis, so I saythat my UC is 1000 times better if I don't drink. If you are a Type Apersonality, you might enjoy using 'AL kills my ulcers'. If you are a healthnuts, "I'm detoxing"....religious nut? "I gave it up for Lentand felt so good I kept going".....you get the idea. Get your story andstick to it.

As Alkies, we aren't used to eating. This is the SILVER BULLET to succeeding.If you have a bad craving and The Voices are knocking, EAT! Eat until you areFULL! Remember those times when you've said, "I can't eat another bite ofanything!" That's the full we're talking about. You will not want anythingif you EAT!

You are gonna feel like dookey for a few days. I felt flu-like for the firstcouple weeks, so treat yourself well. Drink plenty of fluids and rest! Yourbody is changing over from an ethanol burning engine to a food/nutrient burningmachine. Have patience as your body makes this transition.

Keep yourself out of temptation. STAY out of the wine aisle at the grocerystore. NO, you are not stronger than this thing, protect your young quit witheverything you've got. Stay out of bars and avoid booze parties, especially thefirst 3 or 4 weeks. I don't care how strong you feel, this is a new thing forus and temptation is everywhere. Avoid it at all costs.

Change your mindset from one of deprivation to one of gratitude. Just look atthe folks on here who have made C-changes in their lives!!! They are HAPPY andoptimistic! Does this sound like someone who considers themselves deprived?It's all a matter of perspective. Thank God, you don't HAVE to drink today!!!Remember, to a worm, digging around in the hard old ground is a lot morerelaxing than going fishing! Try not to throw, attend and participate in PityParties, they serve no good purpose.

Glue yourself to this site and learn everything you can about this condition wehave. Knowledge is power. Nothing we do or think hasn't been done or thoughtbefore, so look back on the 7 years of experience here and you will find outwhat happens if you do such and such.

Let go of the past... don't look back. Let it go. ALL of it. Forgive yourselfand move on....nothing to see here. There is NOTHING we can do to change whatwe've done, but we can start today and make things better for our future.

Did I mention gluing yourself here? Read and Post!!! This is key! Being part ofa group is important. Like so many have said recently, we find that we actuallydon't have a much of a life outside the bottle! So learning to trust othersagain is part of our emotional growth and healing. Yes, the Nest does movefast, but we are always on point. You just regained about 4-6 hours a day back,so spending 30 minutes catching up here should be no problem. Staying connectedhere is a real key to STAYING sober. The world out there is telling us to dosomething totally counter to what we know we must do. Staying connected withlike-minded people is vital. We are swimming upstream on this one...it's niceto have fellow fish to make the journey with us.

I feared someone giving me a drink by mistake....if they ever do, I'm spittingit back in the glass. My quit is my foundation. No one can take it from me.

That's my take on The Plan. Byrdie
__________________

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

ThreeB's - Welcome to MWO and especially to the nest! You're in great company here. Loads of us came here and started with first posts very similar to yours. As Byrdie said, check out the Tool Box (link in my signature as well as in hers), and start to put together a Plan for your quit. I can tell you, I started my quit with the same step you're contemplating - pouring out the rest of the al I had already bought. I made it into a symbolic event so that I could always look back on it and feel strength, not desperation. My Great Pour Out was 2 years and almost 5 months ago, and I haven't looked back.

You can do this, and you've already taken a great first step by coming here.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

bought 6 bottles of wine in LIDL yesterday because it was so cheap - have 12 bottles in the fridge - let's see if I am brave enough to throw them down the sink... let's see!

:welcome: 3Bs!
Your life is worth so much more than the bit you paid for those bottles. Like Wags said, ceremonially tipping them out can be very empowering. Next time you're tempted to pick up those "good deals" at the store, picture yourself having to pour them out and you'll save yourself some money while avoiding the anguish of drinking yet again.

Maybe you could commit to 30 days of not buying or drinking any alcohol. By then your head will be clear enough for you to evaluate your situation and the role alcohol can play in it, if any.

I'm glad you found us! Take care, NS

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Welcome, 3Bs - I know it is a scary place to be, staring down that idea of "forever" losing a "good" friend in alcohol. Maybe you can commit to 30 days without, and then reassess? Often that is enough time to get some clarity and to be honest with yourself about what alcohol is doing for you or not... I recommend finding support here through as well as maybe confiding to someone in person - harder to lie to them (my experience, anyway). You've come to a great place to get support.

Ava - hope your fur baby is ok. Sorry she's not well. I love dogs, and whole-heartedly support a rescue pup for you two...

Byrdie - good for you! Boundaries are SO important.

I took a mental health day (can't remember the last time I did that...) after spending all weekend in the hospital with FiL. I am looking forward to getting my home and mind back in order with some cleaning, shopping and cooking (plus a hike). It is amazing how quickly it all falls apart when there's a wrench in the works.

Happy Hump Day!
Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

A day late and a penny short! Yesterday after work I came home to no Wlan and threw a big old fit! It was just too much for me and I yelled and screamed and almost hit the wall after trying to fix it.. got over the fact that I couldn't check in here or anywhere else and had a long nap.. then a bath.. then went to a wonderful performance of Fiddler on the Roof with the girls.. it was their first experience with musicals and we had such a great time.. Came home to no computer, went to bed late, woke up early.. to work and there I called my internet people who told me what to do.. did it, very simple, and here I am. I'm so easily at my wit's end at the moment. I remember this feeling from quits before.. the f***its. I just want to be in my own little cave when I'm not working.. and that's what I'm trying to do. Every little extra is too much.. I can do exactly what I have to do and not a speck more!:happy2: Like Pav said a couple of days ago, it is the season as well.. it seems to breed stress.
ok rant over..

Welcome to ThreeB's!! I think you should dump the wine.. I know for myself that if I drank the alcohol, not wanting to waste the money I'd spent, I'd end up spending even more money.. on stupid shopping purchases, food, more booze.. and instead of just losing the money I'd already spent on the wine, I'd make myself sick drinking it all.. double whammy. I love Byrdie's plan! A lot of people begin with a 30 day quit, to get the alcohol out of the system, the mind in a better space.

As for me, Nesters, I've spent a lot of the past 7 years trying to moderate or have some kind of "healthy/normal" relationship with alcohol and I am DONE! I will not waste another second of my precious and only life to alcohol.. it turns me into someone I can't stand.

Rava, how nice to hear you're sleeping so well! I am, too.. with the exception of some crazy dreams. I am so happy when I wake up in the middle of the night/morning.. the first thing coming to mind is that I didn't let myself down. That was the worst part of it all.. worse than any hangover. Letting myself down, yet again.. so glad not to be there anymore!

Ava, what a lovely plan, to get a new rescue dog. I'm envious.. I would love to live in a place where I could have a dog. I was wondering about how little Mads was doing. Little honey.. so nice that you can work from home if need be, to care for her.

Gosh, there were some more posts I wanted to respond to.. I'm super hungry now so I'm going to make some dinner first. I guess I can post 2 or 3 times today since I missed yesterday! :happy2:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

X post Pav and NS..
I'm glad you were able to take a mental health day, Pav..:hug:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Welcome 3B's, when i read your post i thought wow 3 bottles of wine, but i was a nearly 3 bottle of wine drinker nightly though never did i have 12 in the fridge, mine were all consumed on a daily basis. gift that wine, dump the wine, get rid of the wine. You need to be determined in not drinking or moderating for a time. You will find with us alkie,s though that as much as we want to moderate we fail and we have all tried moderating, more times than we care to remember. if someone said to me 5 years ago that i would be happy and content sober i would have laughed at them, FFS who can be that without al. Happily i found that i can be happy and content without any, as with others on here. We all know how you feel, the guilt shame and remorse in the mornings, the saying we arent going to drink during the day to the witching hour where we think feck it, i deserve to drink and off we go, then groundhog day starts again and again. You can do this and believe us when we say life gets so much better.

LC, i love that you have long naps, atm i am getting home from work and napping for 2 hours, i never napped for that long but i am taking it. i am not a good sleeper so i do appreciate a good nap. Glad you got the net back on, i have a 25 year old for all the technical stuff. my way of fixing, is to turn it on and off and have my fingers crossed.

Pav, glad you had a day off, i have one more sleep till i go on leave and i am trying to have a positive mindset while thinking of how i can be sick tomorrow!

Wags, how did you go with your chat to your client?

Well i have lots of little things to do to be organised today, we are supposed to get a dumping of rain for a few days which i dont mind especially as again its been hot and humid. I did put in an application for the rescue pup so fingers crossed, she has visual problems so might be a bit of a challenge as they think she was beaten but we all have lots of love to give her so my fingers and toes are crossed.

hows the weather Nar? Damn freezing is it?

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters and welcome 3B!

Wine and Spain seem to go hand in hand, but so does sober living and its beautiful weather, landscapes and culture. Keep us posted friend.

Good luck with the rescue pup Ava. I suspect you'll get her. My rescue dog (long gone now) had a huge healed scar on his rear paw when i got him at 2 months. No-one else wanted him as the vet thought he might develop problems walking later. He was fine and lived 'till 15 which is a pretty good innings for a big dog. Keep us posted and bring on your holidays.

Great work on the musical night out and keeping it together LC! Now that's creative healthy thinking.

Take another MH day tomorrow Pav! Thanks for reposting your plan Byrdy. Love it.

Big waves to everyone.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome 3B’s , I guess you have to figure out if you want to quit or try and moderate. I tried to moderate for 25 years (no exaggeration) and I never could. If you can’t moderate now, chances are you never will be able to. I agree with Wags, Life and NS, spill the wine out or regift it!

Byrdie, that was a great post.
Life, I love Fiddler on the Roof, so good!

Ava, I bet you get that dog. I am excited for you! Lav, I think it’s time to get a rescue. I have a rescue daschund, she was beaten by the husband when they were going through a divorce. I’ve had her for 2.5 years and she still gets scared pretty easy and is pretty jumpy around males. Poor girl.
Yeah, it’s cold. It was above 0 today but super windy which made it f’n freezing! I would enjoy some hot weather about now.

Pav, way to go , you need a mental health day once in awhile. Spending time in the hospital is exhausting. I did that for my dad and FIL.

Your sounding good G, big wave back atcha.

Hello Rava, SLO. Wags,

Don’t drink today everyone.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome 3 Bs
Glad you decided to join us, we are a nice bunch!
I started with an initial goal of doing 30 days then trying to moderate. After my first week or so of not drinking my thinking started to change. By the time 30 days rolled around I was sure that I needed to remain AF. It will be 10 years in another 3 months & 24 days. I have never regretted the decision.
I agree with the others, get the wine out of the house & make a vow to buy no more - that plan worked for me & it can work for you.

LC, I know the frustration of having no internet access - really messes up your day. Glad you got thru it OK.

Hello to G, Ava, narilly, Pav, NS, Wags, Byrdie & everyone.
Wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav