Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday, Lav, and thank you for everything you've done for all of us and for your constant, reassuring presence in the newbies nest.
I
I hope you get your birthday wish and the peace it will bring. Love, NS

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday, dear Lav!!!:heartbeat: In agreement with the above.. thank you so much for your constant, unwavering support, strength and Lavattitude!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday, Lav!
Love and gratitude, indeed! Without your strong support and guidance, I wouldn't be almost 8 years sober! I hope you have an absolutely lovely day!

LC, I went to the store and bought a bag of Charms Blow pops. They worked like, well, a CHARM! They are a sucker with bubble gum in the middle. It was a great distraction and gave my mouth something to do. Takes a while to finish one and by the time I had, the craving was gone. I'm not sure if they have these suckers over there, but those things worked great for me.

Wishing everyone a happy hump day! Byrdie

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Lav! Hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks for all of your support!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Love and hugs on your birthday today Lav, i hope its special and those children of yours realise what a fantastic beautiful person you are and come together to be with you. (sounds good on paper but my fingers are crossed).

LC keep an eye on your head and if you are getting headaches go to the drs and get checked out. When i stopped drinking for my final time, i remember i would be at work with my al voice telling me i deserved a drink after the day i had had. i spent an hours drive fighting with that voice, it was like a child, very persistently annoying me in the hope i would give in. About fifteen minutes before i got home i would call whatever child of mine i could get on to and tell them how i felt. they would say no mum you dont need it and talked me down, we also talked about our days and it distracted me. not saying i still didnt want to get that wine but as soon as i was home i showered and put my pjs on. as long as i was in my four walls and i could come on to mwo i was safe. I wanted this for my children, i wanted them to be proud of me, i didnt want them to have a drunk mother and be embarrassed as i sure wasnt going to get better by myself. Now they tell people how i gave up alcohol, how i am an alcoholic and if i can do it anyone can. I have made them proud of who i have become and for that i am eternally grateful. I have a photo of myself drunk that i look at from time to time and boy do i never want to look like that.

Pauly, they are called jump suits over here (the pants things) and sweaters are like jumpers but not made with wool. Its you guys that are strange ha ha. I think with what you said that we dont understand that switch is that we have all been there regarding that switch and learnt how to deal with it when it hits. Trying to fight it makes you feel as if you are going insane, to me they did anyways and the easiest option was to give in but its not the easiest option. it makes us feel like LC and yourself say when you give in. This is what i mean about pure grit and determination to say no and that sobriety is my 100% focus. going ten rounds with Mahomad Ali would be better and easier than dealing with that al voice but it is doable and we do understand. I relapsed so many times as i just could not deal with that fucking voice anymore but slowly over time i either had to get through it or keep repeating the cycle and something clicked in me that said "no more". I honestly think yourself and LC are so close to that click. you both come back on here each time, you are both talking openly about your struggles and you both are losing the want/need to drink except on occasion. its getting through the first occasion that gets you through the second etc etc.

Well maybe i need to post daily so i stop waffling on when i do post. I have decided that i want to retire now. After 4 days of being a slug i want this life, well i dont but gees if i could just have days off every second week i would be happy. Today i am taking my madison to the vets, she is not picking up like she previously was so i want to see if her lymphoma has grown in her tummy and talk about her meds. I realistically know i am making her life as happy as possible in the time she has left and want to do it the best way i can. i sometimes think of her dying and i just cant go there, the positive is i have 4 weeks of spending time with her and she is loving it. I have not heard anything about the rescue puppy i applied for so i will call them today.

Take care and some brilliant posts lately xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

So it's the end of the day and I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep. I'm happy to be on day 2 doing the naked mind course (I'm Lolo, Rava).. I think I only got to day 4 or so last time and then quit because I knew I couldn't do an experiment. I knew I had to either quit or not quit.. There are daily videos to watch and questions to answer/a journal to write in. My answers to the questions are the same as they were in April, with a few additions.
See you all tomorrow..xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

X-post Ava..
Hi and double thank you for that post. I hope you continue to waffle every day.. as long as you're off work and have the time!:happy2: It helps me to read what you all have to say. It's a great idea for me to find someone I can call if I need help talking myself out of it until I get home. I have someone in mind I'll have to ask. I am safe once I'm here, which is good. I've got my habits set up here, get in my jammies, make a tea and literally lock myself in. I've practiced that a lot.. and maybe that's what I really have to concentrate on the next weeks, any time I begin to waver.
Byrdie, we don't have those lollipops here! I do remember them! But I've got my portable, physical Toolbox out again and have re-filled it and will carry it around with me when I'm out and about.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Lav!!!

Hope you have a fantastic day

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

THANK YOU everyone for the birthdays wishes
It was a good one, it didn't rain or snow or anything, ha ha!!! This was one of those bigger birthdays......I am officially Medicare age now if you know what I mean, LOL
I have been concerned about turning 65 because my Mom died at that age, my oldest brother dies at 67. It just makes me especially grateful that I have protected my quit all these years & am not doing anything to hurry the visit from the grim reaper if you know what I mean.

LC, glad you are back on track! Stick with whatever you are doing, you won't be sorry.

Have to make this short, my laptop wants to update something or the other - figures.

Be safe in the nest one & all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy big birthday, Lav! One that makes you think, after losing your mom at that age. Are you really Medicare age, though? Not anymore! I think you have to be 66 and 10 months now, or even more. And soon you’ll have another milestone birthday -our kind! Thank you for your steady, positive presence here. My day isn’t complete until you post at night!

Pauly, I think I know what you mean about the switch; it’s like you turn into a booze-seeking missile, and it feels like nothing will stop you. I wonder if PMS brings it on for you? It always made me go bonkers.
That’s why it’s important for me to have substitutes for booze at hand at all times, like make sure I have water and am not thirsty, don’t be under-caffeine-ated, make sure I’m not hungry and have food with me, and sugar foods if regular foods don’t work if the anxiety is too high, try to be well-rested, etc.
LC, you’re realizing that you made some tactical errors in this battle on that day, like being tired and hungry and trying to push through. I guess it’s important for us to observe HALT (Hungry? Angry?Anxious? Lonely? Tired? Thirsty?), especially in the early days.

Thanks, Pav. I hope I start feeling normal as a non-drinker. Right now I feel like the way you say “they” might look at you -like I have two heads. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb as the weird one who can’t drink. I’m glad to know that you grew into your new identity, your new behaviors; and I hope to grow more comfortable with it someday too.

Goodnight, all!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

My day ain't complete without some Lavanitude either. Happy birthday Lav! X

Big waves to all. Happy day 2 LC! Raaawkin.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Ava,we love your waffling,,,now I want actual waffles haha when you posted that arguing with that voice almost made you feel like it was gonna drive you insane I totally get that feeling! The last time I drank it was that urge and it had started at work and a few times i talked myself down,felt fine then it would start again,so damn annoying I couldn't focus on my work,my stomach got nervous so I gave in later on,Slo,yup PMS defo makes it act up,I've read that blood sugar gets wonky around that time and that's why women have crazy cravings for food too,,all the food! I tend to eat like a pig during that time too,Rava,you're doing great LC,how you feeling? Lav,glad you had a fab birthday,waves to all and wishes for a nice day of freedom!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nest.

Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday, Lav! Happy Birthday! I'm glad you got NO precipitation, and I hope you had a wonderful day. I, too, value your constant, calm presence and Lavitude! I'm trying to cultivate that every day...

Slo - I'm not picking on you, but you keep typing things that resonate with me.

I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb as the weird one who can’t drink.

I think words matter - that if you shift that sentence to - "we live in such an alcohol crazed culture that people think it is exotic that I don't drink." The shift from can't to don't helped me. You technically "can" drink, you just choose not to so that you can live your best life. SO MANY PEOPLE say to me all the time "oh, I should quit also, I think I drink too much..." I remember when I was still drinking and I encountered non-drinkers I have them the third degree - when did you stop? how? is it forever? etc. I now recognized those are the people living in their own hell at the moment. I figure my words can support them. In fact, since I quit drinking, three of my favorite drinking buddies have quit also.

I love Ava's waffles. I hope you have a wonderful time with Mads and that you hear about the rescue soon.

I have two more days of work and then a week and a half off. I am SO ready for that!

Happy SOBER Thursday.

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Afternoon here and I just got done with a busy day at work.. just one more left and then it's break time.
Today, again, I feel like there's a lot I should do before Christmas.. but actually there's nothing I HAVE to do. Nothing that can't wait until Saturday or Monday.. which feels more stressful because it's closer to the day, but which will actually probably be less stressful because I don't have to work ahead of time. Don't have anything else to do ahead of time. And if there's less of a choice? I'll still surely find something.
I'm exhausted after not having slept so well last night.. hoped, but it didn't happen. So I will stay put and do the few things I've been putting off around the house.
ok. that's that.
Be back in a bit.xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I think words matter - that if you shift that sentence to - "we live in such an alcohol crazed culture that people think it is exotic that I don't drink." The shift from can't to don't helped me. You technically "can" drink, you just choose not to so that you can live your best life. SO MANY PEOPLE say to me all the time "oh, I should quit also, I think I drink too much..." I remember when I was still drinking and I encountered non-drinkers I have them the third degree - when did you stop? how? is it forever? etc. I now recognized those are the people living in their own hell at the moment. I figure my words can support them. In fact, since I quit drinking, three of my favorite drinking buddies have quit also.

That mind-shift really helps! I used to be so jealous when at an event I would hear someone say, "No thanks, I don't drink" or I would see a table full of people having a great time with no open bottles of wine, beers, or cocktails. I would look up famous people who don't drink and think about how if they can do it in the crowd they run with, why couldn't I?? I still am impressed when I hear about a non-drinking celebrity (Cher, Bradley Cooper) or politician (Pelosi, Biden) that I already admire.

I also follow some people on Twitter who are very open about and proud of their sobriety. They occasionally post a milestone and then the best thing of all is to read the beautiful supportive comments that follow.

If you're struggling, look for a famous role model who you want to emulate and when faced with the choice to drink or not, don't engage in that horrendous internal battle that drives us mad, just do what your hero would do. :smile:
6 Celebrities Who Don't Drink Alcohol
Celebrities who have talked about their sobriety - INSIDER
What 11 Now-Sober Celebrities Want You to Know About Addiction

https://www.sandiegoaddictions.com/24-celebrities-celebrating-sobriety/