Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, I agree that words matter! Our self talk can make all the difference. I thought Lav was full of hooey when she talked about gratitude. When the day came that I HAD to make this quit stick, I LISTENED. We are doomed for failure if we listen to the Voice that tells us we're going to fail. I remember in my 1 year sober speech, I spoke about which voices to listen to. We have to be our own best friends in this quest. Give ourselves some credit for recognizing a problem and taking action to correct it.

NS, I looked at all 60 of those celebrities who didn't drink. My hat is off to them, if we think WE have a culture of boozers, those folks are immersed in it! Just goes to show you that addiction is agnostic in that it can happen to absolutely anyone, doesn't matter how much talent or money you have. Makes those of us with no money or talent feel better, ha!

Hang in there, everyone, we've almost got this holiday licked! There is safety in numbers, stick close! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Well it's 8:05pm and just about time for bed!:happy2: I'm glad I stayed home, got some laundry done, got down the Christmas ornaments and lights, made some dinner. The pressure and urge to go out was strong.. which made me suspicious. That's a connection I've just made.. between strong urges and cravings, so to say, for other things.. or sort of a manic, obsessive feeling of having to do something, with the pressure to do said thing coming from myself. Those feelings are probably signs of dis-comfort and I tend to go back and forth, arguing with myself.. often they've led to drinking.
I was a bit sad pulling out the decorations.. it's the first year I've been on my own. When I was packing to move out 2 years ago, I asked my ex what he wanted from the xmas stuff.. he said, he didn't care, I could take it all. I remembered that today, how desperately he wanted me out at that point.. then I reminded myself of how miserable the holidays used to be with him. Those rose coloured glasses again!

NS, thanks for posting those links.. I love to read about the positive changes people have made in their lives with sobriety.. anybody! I appreciate, that because they're celebrities and have such public lives, they are able to/have had to be "out" with their addiction stories.. they have the opportunity to directly and also indirectly help a lot of people.

Hi Byrdie and Pav.. I am listening!
Goodnight all and see you in the morning..xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya nesters,

You're not alone this xmas LC. You have a beautiful family.......that includes us! :thumbsup:

Day 99! Whoah! I like it. Take it easy out there. Gonna have a read back. L8tr g8trs.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

The pressure and urge to go out was strong.. which made me suspicious.

Good job staying home, LC!
One of my unsuccessful 'tricks' for quitting was to only drink when out. So, wouldn't you know, homebody NoSugar all of a sudden wanted to be going out on the town all of the time!
Confused my husband and cost a ton of money and I still kept drinking at home... Only way to go for me was to be DONE!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

You’re right, the way I view this matters. Turn that frown around. Like [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] said, her husband projects onto her that she’s not “fun” anymore, but she sees how ridiculous ”they” now look, being so enslaved to alcohol.
And that’s a good point that I don’t tend to think of; that there are MANY celebrities who live AF! You mentioned some that I didn’t even know about! They live AF amongst all those flashy parties! Well, yes, then we can do it too! And, it’s ultimately OUR choice.
I guess I’m just getting nervous now that the holidays are upon us, and day after day of being around drinking until through 1/1. It will start tonight when D3 & her guy arrive to stay, and D2 comes over too.

LC, Christmas dredges up those painful feelings from the past. I’m sorry that happened with the shared decorations. And also hard to have the first Christmas after a change like a breakup. But, you took off the rose-colored glasses and remembered what it was really like! It is especially hard to pace ourselves at this time of year also. Good job on making some wise decisions. I hope it makes you feel cozy at home with your girls once the decorations are up & the tree is lit.

Rava, I listen to the Bubble Hour & Annie Grace podcasts too. It’s comforting & informative to hear other people’s stories and how they deal.

I’m so happy for all of you who are getting a good chunk of time off work starting this weekend!

Let the games begin...

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

good evening Nesters,

I'm so busy trying to prep for Christmas I honestly don't know how I had time to drink in the past. I must have been running on fumes or something, haha!
We are also in the midst of a giant rain/wind event tonight thru tomorrow. If we lose power there won't be any cookie baking, that's for sure.

LC, I spent every minute I could here on MWO when I first quit. I needed the connection & the understanding from everyone here to start putting myself back together. Well, it certainly worked so I remain here & grateful more than I can say. Stick with us, we'll all get thru the holidays together :hug:

G, so you're 99 now, awesome

Slo, you don't even have to apply for Medicare anymore. Your card arrives several month before you turn 65. It's up to you to choose when you start. If you're covered by am employer then you can delay it until you retire. Isn't that exciting?? LOL

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!
I'm up with the birds.. actually, the birds are still asleep.. and seeing that the sun doesn't rise until 8:14 (which doesn't necessarily mean we'll have any shine!), they might decide to really sleep in!:happy2: The shortest day of the year, the sun will set at 3:54 this afternoon! I hope we'll have a clear day and be able to see the full moon this evening. I'm happy the days will begin getting longer tomorrow!

G-man, congrats on 99 days! Do you have a celebration planned for the big 100?
Slo, Congratulations on 150 days! Very well done! How long will D3 and guy be staying with you? Do you all have traditional things you do, spending time together? You're right, that it will be nice once the tree is up.. my plan is to listen to music and decorate together, bake a bit, play some games, talk. I'm looking forward to the long, relaxing days together this year. We haven't had that for awhile.

It's true, you are all like family. I will be hanging out here a lot the next couple of weeks.
So glad it's the last day of work! Should be a breeze..ha!xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G-ster!!! I think by the time you see this, triple digits will be upon you! To quote a great guy I know, "You RAWK!!!" Congrats G-dude, enjoy the celebration and then come back the next day for 101.

Slo - your "HALT" list of triggers reminded me - I definitely relied on replacements for booze during the early days of my quit. For me, the go-to was ice cream. I must have eaten more ice cream over that 6-month period than I've eaten in any 6 years of my life! But you know what? It was an effective trade, it gave me so many elements that turned me to booze (reward, treat, soothing, etc). I did eventually have to kick the ice cream habit but that was definitely easier than quitting drinking.

LC - time for you to pull out all of your tools, clean them all off, polish them up, and put them to use. Every single one of them if necessary. The beauty of quitting is it's a Winner-take-all" game and YOU are the winner :yay:


Have great days and eves everyone. Glad to see such a buzz in the nest, even during this busy time of year. Remember it's also a hard time for many folks, here and everywhere. It costs nothing to give the gift of kindness (true any time of year actually )

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Wags!

It'll be triple digits in 6.5 hrs! Raaawkin.

Slo, 150??!!! Holy Mexican mocktails! Congratulations good buddy. :balloons::horn::shout:

Have a bewdy y'all.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters! Congrats on 99 Mr. G. Great job!! LC you are making new and better memories this Christmas! As someone told me after my late husband passed away that Christmas could still be a special time but just in a different way. That worked for me and put things into a different perspective. Today is our work party so there will be some heaving eating today. I will have to try to keep that in check! LOL. No drinking for me. Got my Perrier on ice

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,great to read so many positive posts Mr.G should be 100 now? If not I'm still gonna congratulate you early cuz I know you'll hit it Christmas is a hard time just cuz I think we push ourselves to get everything done,bought,decorated,etc,even right now my anxiety is high cuz I know how much running around I need to do today,grr,oh well at least I'll stay busy and distracted,wishes for a fabulous AF Friday for us all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Mr. G, you do, indeed, RAWK. Congratulations on 100 - love those big, roundy numbers.

NS, thanks for the celeb information. I can't access the list of 60 for some reason. One of my favorite sober celebrities is singer/songwriter Jason Isbell. Here's an interview with Marc Maron from his WTF podcast (Maron is also sober). I remember listening to this and then to all of Jason Isbell's music as I was hiking (and crying) - I even remember the trail. For some reason, his story hit home, and his music is BEAUTIFUL! Try listening to Cover Me Up...

Kensho, how are you doing?

Pauly, I'm with you. High Anxiety! I had to go to the mall last night after work to grab a few things, and I started having a moment. I stopped myself, took a few deep breaths, and then started thinking of acceptance. By my calculations, I "had" to be there (presents for my boss and my inlaws), so I just accepted that fact. That made my swim through the craziness so much more pleasant. Even waiting in line, I wasn't aggravated - I just was. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't HAPPY, but I made it through...

Happy FRIDAY!

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

No more damn stores for me today!! Walmart just about gave me a nervous breakdown!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I hear you all with the shopping! I was fortunate to have time this afternoon and even kindof felt like looking around. Found some good presents and will even go back tomorrow to finish up. Here it seems to slow down the closer it gets to the big day.. I guess on the 24th the grocery stores are empty! Only open a few hours.. but I decided not to make a plan of what I'm going to cook the next few days ahead of time (shops are closed until the 27th). I'll go on the 24th, see what's there and then decide.. Could be interesting!:eek-new:
I'm so happy to have 10 whole days with my girls and their best friends.. the bf of my eldest moved away a few years ago and comes back twice a year to stay with us for a week or 2.. she just arrived this afternoon and the girls are in heaven catching up.

Yes, Wags, I'm polishing up all the Tools! Today I called my mom and then a friend to ask advice about a problem that was welling up inside of me.. I was so angry and then so sad about a situation with my ex and didn't know how to handle it.. it began yesterday with the decorations and then I saw him today and he told me some things I really didn't/don't need to know. It was interesting to feel how it began as a mild irritation and then grew during the next 3 hours into me being a wound up bundle of fury! I couldn't shake it and they were able to help me put the situation back into perspective.. afterwards I was able to call him and tell him, calmly, what really bothered me (without the anger and sadness fueling me) and he could recognize that he didn't act thoughtfully and apologized.. so it was a win-win.
It was also a good example for me to see with new eyes.. drinking didn't enter my mind and my troubles had nothing to do with alcohol. But it was definitely an exercise in dealing with bad feelings and a hot temper and sitting through it, finding a solution. I haven't used the tool of calling a friend for ages, mostly because I've been too ashamed.. when I'm drinking, I feel like I create/deserve everything I get. Which is partially true.. I do create a lot more sh**!

G-man, 100 days! Big congrats!
Pav, thanks for the link.. on my browser to listen to. And thanks for the music recommendation.. I love his sound! I hadn't heard of him before.. glad you got your shopping done and were able to do it without freaking out.
Pauly, Avoid Walmart so close to Christmas!!! I think that (and Target!) must be one of the stores that gets busier and busier until it finally closes, at it's peak on Xmas eve. Or is it even open on Christmas?:happy2: I hope you could get everything you needed and can relax at home now..

ok. off to do some reading. Big hugs to Rava, Lav, Byrdie, Slo, Nar, NS, Ava, Kensho!, everyone else flying or stopping by today!xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC,im done now even if I didnt buy all the things I needed to get,I'm over it and not putting anymore stress on myself,,great job on calmly talking things out with your ex! No unneeded stress there for you either