Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, what a shame about your mom! Quite a wrench in your Christmas plans perhaps too.

G-man, the word is out now anyways about your AF status amongst the booze peddlers.

Ava, sorry that your Mads is not well. Glad you’re off so can have time with her.

Christmas was always totally a ticket to boozeville for me. It was hard this year at both family Christmas celebrations. I was craving, tense, & feeling deprived; wanting all that wine & beer etc. that they were all having. All substitute beverages fell flat. So was practically mainlining sugar instead like a crazy person. So head not in the right place. I have to remember that one person drank none by choice, and a couple drank very little, and they weren’t bothered! Have to remember that it’s a slow-acting poison. Have to remember that having just one or two drinks would be torture! So I don’t have the art of sobriety down. But, all we really have to do is not drink.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Merry Christmas everyone!

Yeah, slo, it’s tough with all the wine etc. Around at Christmas time. I was mainlining sugar too. It’s better than drinking but it is not optimal that’s for sure.

Lav, your Christmas was crazy busy but sounded fun.

Life, I am glad things went well at Christmas, your neighbour sounds interesting. Your visit with her was neat. You are sounding great.

Ava, hope Mads gets better. That’s so tough, hang in there.

GMan, keep rankin! You are kicking butt.

Well, one more AL free Christmas for me, it’s the 4th one, yay!!!

Xo

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nighty night Nest. NS, I do hope you’re all right. I’m glad this day is over, on to new, fresh plans.... namely exercise when I can fit it in. I’m ready to feel fit again.

G, that’s really cool you’re releasing new albums! Dang right G-man don’t drink... he’s livin the life! I’m also ready to get back into breathing and yoga. You’re sun salutation routine you used to talk about always inspired me.

I got a mouthful of a rum ball when tasting options to leave for Santa with kids last night, and I had to spit it out! It was SO strong! I tried to be discrete but I think the kids thought, “that one’s definitely not a good choice...” and they quickly picked others

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters,

Still thinking of you, NS, and hope your mom is doing alright. Big hugs..
Slo, that was a tough time going yesterday for you.. but you pulled through and have moved on to the next level.. like they always say (and they know!) every event/situation you conquer af, builds new muscles, creates new neural pathways. I love the image I got from a video I watched the other day (Annie Grace).. imagine you've been walking the same path, from point a to point b, for a really long time.. the path is well worn with use, so much so that you've sort of dug a ditch and the sides of the ditch are up to your chin or over your head (that's how long and how many time you've been on the path!).. it takes time, first of all to climb out, and then to begin to walk a different way. It takes time and practice to forge that new path... And you're so right about the just not drinking. I so much wished I had read Kensho's post the other day where she said, you don't have to be happy or excited or in a good mood or loving life.. all you have to do is not drink. At some point it will become easier and feel GOOD, not like you're being deprived. You're doing the work, Slo! You're doing really well!:hug:
Nar, your 4th Christmas!! well done!
Pauly, that's exactly how I never want to feel again!
Gman, I'm really glad the old guy's got your back!

well, done with Christmas, and I have to say it was a really nice one. I was a bit stressed in the morning with everything I had to do. Then I sat down and did the Naked Mind day 8 and it was about what we tell ourselves, how we talk to ourselves.. I wrote some things down and realized that I didn't need to stress. The plan of things to do was a plan I'd made for myself and nobody else knew what it was.. so if I changed it or decided not to do something it wouldn't matter! Also, these days were/are about what I WANT to do, about making new traditions, so if something felt stressful, I could drop it. And not everything had to be perfectly done at a certain time. It was just my girls and my ex and his son coming over, so I chilled and did what I could and stayed in my jammies and didn't make myself up and we all had a great time.. I don't know when or how I got it into my mind that these dinners have to be done a certain way? It baffles me because improvising at work is a big part of what I do.. anyway, at one point, when I was clearing things up in the kitchen, I took the last big swig of sparkling raspberry juice right from the bottle, without thinking until afterwards about how I'd always done that with the wine, etc. Sneaking and shame and feeling like shit.. doesn't happen with juice!:happy2:

Hi Lav, Ava, Pav, Byrdie, Feebee, Kensho.. big hugs all around!xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters........I don't know why but the 'holidays' are always hell for me. I drank a glass of wine last night and I saw the rabbit hole. I need to pull out. I need to stay close to the nest. I kind of fell away. had a skin cancer, on my nose of all places...and had surgery 2 weeks ago. I had been doing good staying sober. But last night it seemed like all could be unravelling. I am not hungover, kind of wish I was which would be a good sign to stay miles away from the booze. So...I just need to be back here as much as I can. I read back a few pages and many many of you are doing so well. I want to be part of THAT party!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,sounds like everyone had a great day a bit sad Christmas is over and even sadder I hafta work today but oh well,my hubs and two of my daughters drank Christmas eve and on Christmas night,it doesn't really bother me to be around it cuz I just don't even like alcohol! Which got me thinking about why I've drank,it's not the taste or the company around me it's just been to escape,I really need to sit down and think about what I'm trying to escape from when that ugly urge hits,NS,hope your mom is OK,Ava,hope the med change helps your fur baby,waves to all,off to get ready boo! Have a great no all Wednesday!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for all the good thoughts, Nesters. It was a strange 24 hours but we managed to all open gifts together and eat an "adjusted" (but perfectly fine) Christmas meal. The good thing to come from some emotional conversations that developed is the need to confront my dad about end of life issues and the planning needed. Hope, prayers, and determination do not constitute a good plan! I wish everyone were required to read this book, sooner rather than later: https://www.amazon.com/Being-Mortal-.../dp/0805095152

Welcome back, [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION]. It doesn't sound like you're back in the drinking habit so hopefully you can get back fairly quickly to where you want to be. I'd encourage you not to drift away from here. It is very possible that several of us who have stayed would be perfectly fine if we left but I feel like there's no reason to change what is working. I appreciate the reminders I gain here - they are the opposite of the constant messages we receive daily from society at large. And as humans, we cannot help but be influenced by what we see, read, and hear. So I like to read daily what I want and need to hear!! Plus, I like you guys :hug:.

I also would encourage everyone at any stage of kicking addition to hook up with someone here who you like and trust who you ask to contact you if you drift away. Just like my dad needs to have some plans in place in case he is unable to be my mom's minute by minute caretaker, we need a person who can reel us in if/when we break our promise to ourselves. Now, while you are in a calm state of mind, put in place the structures that will support you if you need it. The actively addicted brain will try to keep you away from here or any other source of addiction management. (I've decided that, for me, that is what we do -- we manage a condition we have. It gets us away from the recovery vs recovering argument. Who knows what is right? But I do know for a fact that addiction can be managed to the point of not all all negatively affecting our lives.

I'm glad a couple people went the sugar-route rather than drinking over the holiday. It definitely works. I recently watched an interesting video that uses alcohol addiction as a model for sugar/carbohydrate addiction and posted it here. The similarities are pretty stark and definitely jive with my experience. I just happened to kick the sugar/carb problem first (exacerbating the alcohol addiction :/ ).

To anyone struggling, think how empowering it will be to enter 2019 with some solid sober days behind you! All the best to all of you and again, thank you for your interest and support. xx, NS

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Good stuff NS. Thanks for the links. Will check out that book. Hope you're having a nice week. I agree re keeping our head in the game by either posting here regularly or at least surrounding ourselves with life affirming, non boozing thinking and attitude. I was thinking recently how important it is to really keep our head where we want it to be. Logging in here regularly is one way. For me, both modes of thought are powerful. gratitude thinking, and deprivation thinking. Both powerful and lifechanging, so which one do i tune in to daily? What thoughts do i feed myself daily? So i need to have a daily sober maintenance program. Yes sir, i got a program maaaan! If i don't take care of my thinking, i'm in hot water.

Good to see u Belle girl.

Kensho! Sun salutations for you. From Brooklyn yoga school. Not that i know them, but seem kosher. I bet there's some Nooo yaaawk bagels in the pantry.

Traditional Sun Salutation - YouTube

I'm working here too Pauly!

Take care out there

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all!
We had two neighborhood parties yesterday, both involved drinking. I was the only non drinker at both functions and just fine with it. It’s just amazing to me how people can drink just a little! That was never me. I remember when I used to attended these parties and be absolutely smashed. During the brunch, I would come home about halfway thru and get a stiff gulp of vodka. I’d say I was plugging in the crockpot for the dinner we would be attending. By the time the dinner rolled around, I would pray that I could keep it together. Those weren’t the days.
On Chritmas Eve, I got a letter from my new half sister. It was on Christmas stationery ‘Unto is a child is born, unto us a son is given”. In the letter she essentially said no further contact was necessary. We represent such negativity, she isn’t interested in having a relationship with us.
There was no Merry Christmas or anything. Gosh, what an ass. There is no question about where they stand on this issue of paternity.
NS, I hope your mom is doing better and Ava, we are pulling for Mads.
Enjoying my day off! Hugs to all!! XOXOX, B

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS - glad things turned out ok with your xmas, and I hope your mom is doing well now. Caring for (or even watching) aging parents is such a tough row to hoe. My heart goes out to you and anyone else in such a time of life. Then again, I guess pretty much all times of life bring challenges huh?

Belle, get yourself right back out of that rabbit hole! There is still time to ring in the new year with a week under your belt.

Kensho, how fantastic that you're now saying you've had your "second..." fill in blank, sober xmas in this recent case. Good for you!

Ava - hope little Mads responds well to the change in meds



Sounds like folks are generally doing well with these holidays and that most quits are firmly intact. I'm not a big fan of xmas (miss my mom a ton - she loved this time of year) but I'm looking forward to the new year. I don't tend to make NY resolutions but I do like reframing things, leaving some stuff behind and setting sights on new beginnings etc. I'll also be coming up on my 2.5 year milestone in January and I'm pretty happy about that.

Have good days and eves everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well a balmy 32 degrees at 10.30am, i am so not a fan of the heat so excuse the bitching that i will be doing for a few months. I took mads out for a drive as she loves the car but had to drop her back home. When i got back she ran to the door and was so happy to see me, the meds change has worked for the time being.

Wags, i dont enjoy xmas, too many arguments and drunkedness but this year was pleasant. Mum didnt even drink which was a suprise as normally she would be right into it, i was dreading that as she is an angry drunk. Funny she only started drinking at 50 but she does drink too much on occasion.

Belle, welcome back, keep yourself glued to the nest, as NS said why stop something that obviously works. I cant imagine my life without MWO in it and keeping my accountability intact each day.

Yep Pauly, i drank to escape too and i knew facing up to what i drank at would not be pleasant but in time i opened that box to sort through those reasons. It took me a year to really open that box and delve inside as the first year i really could only focus on not drinking each and every day. Dont dig too deep just focus on today, the time will come when you are ready. Sorry you have to work on boxing day though.

Dont work too hard G, i am so enjoying my time off though i am envious that the traffic is so good at this time of year.

The shops are so quiet now, it was a pleasure to go out for an hour. i did manage to buy a new pair of work shoes online last night.

Take care xx

[Feebee]

I'm celebrating my sobriety of over a month now, having made it through the holidays intact, by eating 3 pieces of CANDY. Chocolate. :victorious:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Quiet in my house today & that's perfectly OK with me.
Still feeling tired, didn't sleep well - oh well, haha!

NS, I'm sorry your parents are facing end of life decisions, never an easy thing to do.
My parents pretty much had all that squared away yet I was still right in the middle, managing details.

Brydie, sorry about the rejection letter, that hurts. We really can't help what other people think but we do have to accept their thoughts with courage :hug:

Belle, good to see you back before there's too much damage done. Stick with us & get back on your plan

I have to admit I have had more than a few cookies the past two days. My waistline is not happy, LOL
Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening to all.

Belle-Girl, welcome back! Sorry about the skin cancer surgery. It’s not that uncommon to have it on the nose. I was smelling a wine glass at the end of Christmas while doing the dishes; touching it to my lips. I miss it. But a rabbit hole for sure!

Thanks, Lifechange. Yes, I was quoting Kensho about “You just have to not drink.”
It is easy for me to not drink on regular days, and I find many reasons then to be grateful that I no longer drink, but it’s much harder on holidays.
LC, I like how you found ways to take some of the pressure off yourself on Christmas, and realizing it was self-induced pressure.

Byrdie, sorry about the hurtful rejection by the half-sister with the hypocritical header on her stationery.
You don’t deserve that. It probably derives from sadness over what her father was like rather than being personal.

NS, I really like what you said that we have to MANAGE this condition, just like any other condition; we’re not “recovering” or “recovered”. Plus that gives false hope. I mean, I’d love to be “recovered” from this, but it’s a permanent condition.

Glad you’re still with us, Feebee! Congratulations on a whole month!

Christmas is over, and we made it!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I was think about this more, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], and realized we manage all sorts of things so we can be healthier without a lot of angst, embarrassment, or feelings of deprivation. You’re doing what’s necessary to get the excess vitamin A out of your body. I have no shame or regrets about not eating gluten or sugar/carbs to manage celiac disease and diabetes. I don’t think I’m a failure, a bad person, or weird because I have those conditions and had to make those changes. I don’t feel deprived. I’m just relieved to feel better and be healthier! There’s no difference with alcohol to me. (Actually, I think I’m a canary in the coal mine because none of them are great things to ingest at the doses most people do :wink.

We are so fortunate to be able to feel much better by stopping something. It is so much easier to know and eliminate the trigger compared with the frantic search for a cure to a mystery illness. Even though it doesn’t always feel that way, we have complete control over this manageable problem. To me, that is an incredible gift.