Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

I'm up with the birds again, but like you, Ava, I'm a good napper!

Not much to report.. I did make it to the gym yesterday and felt great. I took the pressure off of my "plan" and tried to change my focus from wanting to look better and fit back in some of clothes (this tactic hasn't worked for at least a year!) to thinking about the things I love to do and need strength for.. plus strengthening my leg muscles/glutes to protect my back and knee, to improve flexibility, to strengthen my poor heart. I've noticed a real decrease in all of these areas since letting myself go after the surgeries I had almost 2 years ago.
I have a group of 4 bf's and one of them had invited us all to this fancy hotel bar that she likes to go to.. I'd told her a couple weeks ago that I wasn't sure I'd make it and when she asked why I told her that I wasn't feeling good around alcohol and people drinking.. I left it to the last minute to decide and had a lovely bike ride through the city to get there. They all ordered super expensive cocktails and I ordered a ridiculously expensive ginger root tea (which I let her pay for..:happy2.. it was a really nice evening and I'm glad I didn't miss the conversations as we rarely meet up as a group. I thought I should be more proactive in inviting them over or out to do things where alcohol isn't involved.. I think they still see it as glamourous.. I'm happy that I wasn't under any illusions last night and didn't envy anyone for one minute. I asked the friend sitting next to me at one point, if she could please move her drink to the other side 'cause I didn't want to thoughtlessly pick it up and drink it.. I'm someone who drinks a lot in general.. I always have a glass of water/tea/coffee that I'm drinking..at work as well. Do any of you have that? I noticed in Annie Grace's videos, that if she has a cup of tea or coffee next to her, she's constantly/very often picking it up and drinking. A lot of other people I know don't do that..?
blahblahblah..:happy2:

Lav, so nice that you could see the Wizard of Oz! I'm really into live performances atm and am getting tickets for My Fair Lady.. have you seen that?
Belle, those teens can be challenging, can't they? I usually make some allowances during vacation time.. but I also think they have to be respectful of other people/us. I'm sure you'll figure out the best way to deal with them and set limits. Good for you for getting out for a walk! Clear the mind..

Big hugs to all you lovelies, Wags, Byrdie, NS, Pauly, Kensho, Rava, Feebee, Ava, Slo.. G-man.. hope I'm not missing anyone.xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Glad you had fun, LC. Yes, I'm a drinker - of all things - also. I used to use it as an explanation about why I over drank - "I just drink a lot no matter WHAT I'm drinking..." but that only went so far.

Belle, when my teens are here they are three closed doors away, and I wear ear plugs, so I can't hear a thing. Glad you got some sleep free from the GSR brothers.

Lav, that sounds like fun. I like live theater, too. Haven't been in a while...

Byrdie - my big roundy part is my middle - I'm an apple instead of a pear. Certainly roundier after this couple of weeks...

Happy SOBER Sunday, folks.

Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,well my kids aren't teens but 20's and I swear they're just getting up and around when I'm going to bed two live with me and one's visiting so I put ear plugs in when I go to bed,otherwise I hear doors slamming,feet up and down the stairs,bleh,was just thinking that I can't stand the hoopla over NYE,heck even in my heaviest drinking I'm not gonna quit ever days I never went out partying,always just did my same drink at home deal,my brain keeps feeling left out this year for some reason although I haven't drank on NYE in 5 or so years,just gonna eat my way thru and join NS's no sugar(well less sugar) thing after it's over,I've been feeling all the yuck from overconsumption of just about everything (except AL) these past few weeks,Slo,where are you? Maybe I just missed you somewhere,I did read back but just sort of perused,waves to all and wishes for a super,sober Sunday yeah!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Lovely people!

BYRDIE - A very happy 2902 to you! What a spectacular number - and mind peace to go with it! I hope you celebrated each and every day!

LC, I am a frequent drinker too. It’s worked out well as a tool for being AF, because I can keep a non-AL drink in my hand at all times. I’ve had fun finding flavorful mocktails. Last night we went to a nice restaurant with friends, and I got a Lemonade with a splash of bitters. It was “interesting” - which is better than bland water - and made me feel like I could enjoy a special something with the others without drinking alcohol. I love ginger beer.

I don’t think I could handle crazy teenagers in the middle of the night - sleep is sacred to me. I guess I’ll find out how that works now that my oldest is 13!

Also, Holly at HipSobriety just posted a new blog about books that transformed her in 2018 - for those of you who haven’t seen it. Some good encouragement there (along with some feminist stuff, so be prepared).

Blog — HIP SOBRIETY

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I got myself to the gym today as I was feeling restless and as if I was procrastinating.. I don't have anything I have to do. I think that even though I'm feeling lazy, maybe I've had enough time hanging around on the sofa! I had some first thoughts about drinking today.. but I didn't entertain them. I questioned myself as to why these cravings were coming and I think it was mainly due to the restlessness, not quite knowing what to do with myself.
I've had a string of 13-15 day af periods.. and I've probably trained my mind to start to give in around this time.. but I won't do it again. I won't pay that high price again! But I have to come here and write these things down.. today on the Naked Mind 30 day af program, day 13 was about cravings.. this morning I didn't have anything to say, but I went straight there after the gym and tried to write down exactly what was going on. It helped..

Great list of books.. thanks, Kensho. There are a couple there I've been wanting to order..
Pauly, I'm there with you on wanting to cut back the sugar.. have started a bit and my tummy is feeling a little better already. I'm drinking way too much coffee though! We need a bit of sunshine here.. I think we've had 8 days without any! Are you having beautiful weather or a cold streak?

Wishing everyone a lovely rest of your Sunday.. I'm not looking forward to the racket of tomorrow (it's already bad enough today). It's like a war zone here on NYE.. they're talking about banning fireworks here next year because of the health risks. If you're outside, you can barely breathe.. yuck..
Hugs!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, all!
We had a nice time at the party last night. Of course, I was the only non-drinker. That doesn’t bother me anymore, but what did is that hubs and I were the only Southerners there. These folks were from NY, CT, NJ and Californina. One lady was saying that when she first came to NC she couldn’t understand anything Southerners said. It was kind of insulting to my fellow natives, but I put aside the slight. The hostess served beef stew. This wasn’t a sit-down dinner, so that was odd to me, must be a yankee thing! Ha! It bothered me more to be the odd Sotherner than it did to be the only non drinker. How times have changed.
Hope everyone has an easy Sunday. Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie,so you all stood around holding bowls of stew? That's a strange thing to serve haha,I love southern accents LC,good on you for writing out the craving feelings,it's weirs cuz I'll go forever with none then bam! Outta the blue they hit,,this is weird but last night my neighbor brought over a thank you for hubs,it was two tall cans and I pictured them as Bud light in the bag and it started that uneasy,craving feel in my stomach but when I looked and seen they were Modelos I didn't give it any thought anymore,to me that's weird cuz being an alkie you'd figure any old brand would do,,,, just odd to me,weather is cold(for me) in the 50's I think but the sun is shining thank goodness! Yep fireworks tomorrow night which means after months of finally getting Winslow to sleep downstairs he'll be under my bed again! Grrrr.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

NYE here and about to go away, we are in for a spate (like that word) of hot weather so not sure how mads is going to go which is a worry but i can always come home if she gets too unwell.

Im a drinker too, wish it was just water but lots of coffee too especially in the mornings. Kensho i drink lemon, lime and bitters and love it though some bar people can overdo the bitters. its very refreshing.

Pauly, i feel you with the fireworks, its awful for our fur babies, since i will be in the middle of nowhere i am hoping it is lovely and quiet. i was also a stay at home drinker, if i socialised i had to try and control my intake so i looked normal.

Having a tired day today, mads was up half the night, its like having a toddler atm but well worth the tiredness.

I have to be on the no sugar challenge too. i smell chocolate and thats me. fingers crossed we can all achieve results of giving up the sugar. at least we arent all promising to give up the grog.

Better go and have more coffee and get ready to go. take care xxx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m here, Pauly, just “Up North” on a little family vacation where I don’t have WiFi.
I am a huge and fast drinker of all beverages. In fact, a beautiful, perfect 40-oz. water jug caught my eye when I left a store yesterday, so decided to go back and get it today. Turned out it was the last one and a lady had just put it behind the counter for herself. Luckily the salesperson told me this in a really loud voice and I bemoaned the fact; the lady overheard and said I could have it! So she made my day. And made it was worth the drive to this next town. I’m also getting some WiFi here.

I can’t drink that regular brand of bitters because they’re soaked in a lot of alcohol. When I try to go alcohol-free with just some of those bitters added, I start going after the bitters and adding a holy ton of them to my drink, trying to get my fix off of them, which is futile & frustrating and hard on the stomach lining.

I agree that if I go down on the sugar then I go up on the caffeine, and vice versa.

I am not minding being AF on this trip! It has been fine with me! Like playing cards last night, I was content drinking 4 glasses of water while several others drank beer. Water is what I wanted.
Hopefully pasta night tonight with wine won’t bother me either, although that’s a little harder.
I’m just with my immediate family, but there are people here, like the funny son-in-law who I am really enjoying, and activities that I enjoy, like the son-in-law who likes playing board games as much as I do.
I’m being careful to get enough rest & exercise, am refusing to be put in the role of pick-up committee for all of these adults; declining to do what I don’t like, such as will not snowmobile with my HB since I have not found that to be safe with him; have found relaxing activities instead such as the local hotel’s hot tub and shopping with young daughter. So boundaries are up and self-care activities are implemented.

Loved reading about everyone’s activities, strategies, & successes!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just had a noisy 7 hr visit with my grandsons, ha ha!!!
They're into a lot of punching, kicking & generally just trying to beat each other up. Just typical oy behavior I suppose. I sent them outside to do that for a while I tried to resurrect my brain, LOL

Everyone sounds good, that makes me happy.
We never ever did anything on NYE so this year is no different. I may be meeting an old friend for lunch on New Years day. She up this way from FL making the rounds & trying to see everyone

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters..

I'm still feeling restless and anxious this morning. Not exactly sure why.. I've got a nice evening planned with my youngest, her bf and a good friend of mine coming over for dinner and games/movie. We'll have a relaxed, quiet evening. This is the friend with whom I talked on the phone 2 weeks ago when I was so drunk.. yesterday she asked if she could bring anything, if she should bring something to drink? I said, I'm not drinking alcohol, so please don't bring that. I might decide to talk to her about it tonight.. or maybe not. I'll see how it goes.

Slo, I'm glad you're having such a nice visit with family! Hot tub and board games, sounds like my kind of fun! Great job taking care of yourself and setting strong boundaries..
Hi and big hugs to all of you Nesters, stopping and flying by today! Wishing everyone a good day..xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm sticking close to here today.. might head out to the gym or might just do some exercise here. I am having troubles stopping the inner dialogue.
Drinking is OFF the table and I guess this is a test. Because I've been able to convince myself, my sane self, so many times in the past to have a drink, I have to shut it up. I know these are just thoughts. I've eaten some good foods, healthy fats!, am spending time with my daughter, the sun is shining a bit!, have to clean the cat box and vacuum! I'll take a nap.
I'm looking forward to this new year and I don't have any resolutions except to keep on this path of sobriety.. I've been learning from you all and from my mistakes for years and now I'm ready to put it all into practice. Ok. I feel better. I will probably be an honest to god lunatic here today!!!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I hope you’re feeling better [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] :hug:. Even though you’re having some unwanted ideas, your clear, rational self is operating just fine. You know what your long-range plan is and you’re using some of your tools.

Do do you think that anticipating the conversation with your friend about drinking is worrying you? Or maybe thoughts about what New Year’s Eve “should” be? That conversation is totally optional - have it if it helps you. Your evening sounds perfect to me. I’ve never been much of one for this holiday. When I was younger, I always babysat. And that’s what we’re doing tonight, too. I will make it to YOUR midnight, but certainly not mine!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,there you are Slo! Glad you're having a nice time I feel like NYE is just a bunch of hype,my daughter's bf told her hes gonna party his ass of tonight and all I can think is he party's his ass off every other night of the week so why's tonight so damn special? Like NS,I'll be calling it an early night,probably be like last year and wait til 9 when the New York ball drops and go to bed(I'm a nerd,don't care!) LC,you sound like you're doing pretty good,I just want you to be confident in your quit and not feel too uneasy but I guess sometimes we just are uneasy in this,there's been days I've been elated to be sober,confident I'd never drink again,there's been white knuckle days where"all you gotta do is get through this day"-Byrdie has gone through my head at warp speed cycling! I make it through then feel relief the next day,these mind games are a pos and it does get tiring,waves to all and wishes for a safe,AF NYE for everyone! I'll be having a lot of hot wings and a brisket hubs is smoking

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, NS! I think I'm through it now.. I think it had more to do with some residual sadness I was having with regards to my ex, his new girlfriend and them spending NYE with old friends of ours.. Even though I don't want to be in that situation, with him or at the party.. it brought back memories of a looooong time ago, times of love and hope and that made me sad. These emotions make me feel crazy and out of control and my impulse is to run and escape. I really do revert back to being a child.. which then makes me feel ashamed and like everyone is better off without me. So. I sat with the sadness for a bit and cried and was in a bad mood, I had a short nap and then pulled myself up and told myself that it didn't matter if I hadn't yet learned to deal with painful emotions.. I still can learn and I am learning! One day at a time, here, with all of you.
Also, one of my friends from the other night wrote to me and told me that she felt I was becoming ever more private about my life.. that she respected that but wished it wasn't so. It's because I haven't been totally honest with them about my relapses.. I haven't shared because I know they will just worry and will be offended, thinking I haven't accepted their help/advice, etc. I have it in my mind that I will tell them at some point down the road.. but I feel like it's too soon.. and as you said, NS, it puts too much pressure on me to "perform".. But, her email was true and it did make me sad, as we all used to share everything. Until my drinking got so out of control that I had to hide it and lie about it.
Ugggh! I do feel now like a weight has been lifted. I don't feel as sad as I did this morning and I feel like I can have a nice evening and concentrate on the girls and on having a nice time. My daughter's bf is also an early bird, so we said we might go to bed and set an alarm for midnight! Though it's so loud here we won't have to do that!xx Thank you MWO for being here. It means more than writing in a journal. Knowing that a community of people, sharing the same struggles, is here helps more. Makes me feel connected..:hug: