Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

“Narilly, maybe part of it, or perhaps all of it, is that he lives alone for a full week every other week, and just gets used to doing his own thing.”
Thank you SLO, that really helped me. Sometimes it just takes a different perspective to change the way you think.

Ava, that sounds so awful, your friend trying to hide her drinking. I am so glad I am not doing that anymore.

Pav, yeah, I am like you. I have to surround myself with other supports and keep myself busy. I don’t think we do well hen we are not busy. I have 3 dogs now and still think I am not busy enough!

Three, glad to see you here. Keep coming back.

Feebee, way to go on the month, yippee!!

Lav, you are one busy gal with those grand kids, lucky for all of you.

GMan, you crack me up. I bet Byrdie has the best accent ever. Maybe you could do a Pdcast for us alkies Byrdie, I would subscribe!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Nar, your situation is so stressful - your line of work seems to be so volatile, and then the stress of every other week being alone. I can imagine it would be better when you're working - good luck on Monday. Glad you're feeling better.

G - that's the key in life, eh? It is ALL learning. I was listening to the conundrum show of a podcast I listen to - would you rather be 20 and have the wisdom of a 50 year old, or be 50 and have the body of a 20 year old. I chose the wisdom when I was 20, although I think if you had that wisdom that young you'd miss out on a lot of things that include mistakes that help you learn but that were a lot of fun.

FeeBee - CONGRATULATIONS on one month, and I'm glad you're feeling great. I'm not sure if you've tried to quit before, but beware of a lull in mood that might be coming once the excitement of the new quit has worn off. Turns out life is life, and if you're used to numbing feelings with alcohol, it can be intense. Do you have a plan/support system in place? Take good care of yourself!

I was in a Mexican restaurant at a big birthday dinner party. Margaritas and shots of tequila were flying around. I actually love the taste and effect of Tequila, and had a momentary thought of "poor me," but I ate a delicious dinner and had fun, ignoring that momentary thought (well, watching it float by in the parlance of the enlightened).

Nursing a head cold and sending my kid back to college today. Bittersweet as he is thriving there, but I'll miss him.

xo
Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well i arrived home with a whole lot of grateful inside me after being away. Reinforces why i dont drink and why i never want to. Nothing in my life can ever make me drink if i dont let it. I survived the awful 43 day in tact though i hope we dont get another of those this summer. Luckily there were not too many fires either. there was one near my mum but they got that under control. she is having issues with my son so i have been trying to sort that crap out. I told her to write a letter to him and she emailed it to me, it really came from her heart and was lovely, never have i seen that from my mum so it was an eye opener for me. The old mum would have been bitter and hurtful and made it all about her (which i was expecting) so it was refreshing to see that she has changed also. who would have thought satans sister and i could have a mother daughter relationship! ha ha.

Congratulations Fee on one month, a great achievement.

LC you are sounding great and yes its amazing to realise how good we feel without al.

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Pav, i am 50's with the body i had in my 20's. No, better! haha. Well, that's my story in my head anyway. :applouse:

I could listen to Byrdy for hours. The accent would just be a bonus.

Congrat's Fee on a month! :thumbsup:

All is good here. Have a great weekend. Bike ride sounds ace Wags! Off for a sunday morning run here. Sunny and 22c.

Big waves to evabody.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

So I went to the neighbourhood party with my husband who proceeded to drink 6 pints of beer in 3 hours. He was slurring by the time I got him out of there. I made him drink water and leave his last glass half finished. Omg. I was wondering what would happen if I as drinking. No wonder we had such huge drunk fights. He used to be the one who could control his drinking- better than me anyway. Now we have to take his mom and my mom out for supper. He is still pretty gunned and I know he will have some stomach problems tonight because of his colon issues. (He had part of his colon removed 8 years ago due to cancer)
Yup, that is my day.

SO I made some low carb granola, filled with nuts and coconut. Wrapped my MIL’s Birthday present and am just freakin grateful that I Don’t Drink!!

Pav, hope you feel better soon. Yeah, Life is a bit stressful around here but I can handle it!

Ava, so nice you and your mom are getting along better. Better late than never, right?

Big waves G, have a great run.

Good night everyone, don’t drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

It was a rainy Saturday here in Lav-land & I really didn't need anymore mud, yuck!

LC, go for the iPhone. It takes a little learning but I wouldn't be without mine now

Narilly, glad you survived your party. Sounds like your husband should be rethinking his drinking habits too. I don't miss anything about that whole phase of my life, I really don't.
I like waking up & enjoying a cup of hot coffee & moving about my day without a monkey on my back, haha!

Wags, I hope your bike ride was awesome!

Hey G the beach runner!

Pav, sounds like your son is doing well in his college life, that's great.
I paid 8 straight years of college tuition for my kids then told them no more from me, LOL. They figured out the rest on their own

Ava, glad you have some cooler air today.
Funny how your mom is changing her tune - maybe she's been enlightened

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Pavati, you people are my support system. No one knows. I am sure you can see I am so happy to be finally done with it all.
Feebs

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, Nesters.
Our first sunny weekend in months! So good to see the sunshine.
Everyone is working the Plan, it’s so good to see us sticking with our new lifestyle. I don’t miss those days of sneaking and lying either. In fact, I just can’t believe that was me. Living an authentic life, such as G describes, is just easier and more fulfilling.
Stick with us, Fee, this bunch has helped me through times I couldn’t have navigated on my own. Getting a second (and third, or fourth) opinion on stuff is really helpful! I’m so happy to see your success!
Hope everyone has an easy Sunday! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Naturally, G, if I could have the body AND the wisdom... Although in my drinking days I was definitely chubbier than I am now, so maybe we're all good. I just wish gravity wasn't such a constant force...

Glad we're here for you, Feebs. Have you heard about The Bubble Hour podcast. Those women were also my support when I first quit. I highly recommend it.

Nar - Blech and sorry. My husband does drink too much sometimes, but he's also the guy who can EASILY lose his drink in the house, decide to stop halfway through, etc. When he's really gone, i just leave him alone because it is so gross to me now...

Ava - Hah. Glad your mom came around to that. I do love the special relationship my parents have with my kids - the grandparent relationship, but because we live so close it is also like another set of parents. They have to learn to negotiate expectations from all of us.

Raining here today, and I signed up for a massage later - can't wait.

Happy SOBER Sunday!
Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

it's Sunday fun-day around here! The girls and I got up early to go to the flea market where we froze our butts off! First I had coffee with 2 friends and their dogs and tried to figure out this phone. What a PIA. But I will stick with it and then can hopefully be in contact with some of you through whatsapp and messenger. Since I'm not on fb, it seems like it might be a good alternative as a way to connect.

Pav, I hear you with the gravity thing! What's up with that?! damn!:happy2:
Ava, that's such good news about the letter from your mom.. better late, than never, right?
Byrdie, we had about 30 minutes of sunshine today and it was like heaven.. we don't ask for much around here!
Nar, thank goodness you don't drink!! What a reminder..
Lav, G-man, Pauly, NS, Wags, Feebee, Kensho, Hugs to you all today!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun everyone!

So grateful to wake up feeling good this Sunday.
Pav, our husbands sound eerily similar. What a pain they can be. It’s like dealing with a 10 year old sometimes. I am totally jealous of you getting a massage, enjoy it my friend.

Life, you will figure out the iPhone, it’s not that hard

Happy Sunday everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

LC, i actually find an iphone is easier to navigate than my old samsung. It is more straightforward and things seem to be where they outta be. But new devices take a little getting to know for sure. Does it have Siri? If so, fire away with some questions such as - 'do i need an umbrella today?' 'Siri, are you free tonight'.....

Pav, gravity schmavity! The booze free you is glowing, sharp and gorgeous in all sorts of ways! All the best to your son. What an adventure for him - and y'all.

Nar, you raaaawkin?!

Raawkin here at day 116. It occured to me this morning that yep, all we have to do is get through this day as Byrdy says, but when we git a craving/thoughts of reaching for our old emotional crutch/boozing, all we have to do is get through that craving. It is usually only a short time - maybe 5, 10, 20, 30 minutes typically. If we distract ourselves or even sit with it, step back and observe ourselves, it really is possible to stop and catch ourselves and decide to change that thinking. These days, after many lapses/relapses i can see it coming. I know. It doesn't take me by surprise anymore. I see it coming before i pick up a drink. This is self awareness. I just have to remember that a craving or negative thought/feeling will pass. All i have to do is get through that moment.

Have a bewdy out there mi amiga's.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I found your story of the sneaking drinking woman whom you stayed with on vacation to be interesting, Ava; especially about how she thinks she’s hiding it, but she’s not. It is reinforcing to us to want to stay quit and no longer be like that!
Fascinating also that your mother seems to be reducing her drinking a lot, and is also becoming kinder & gentler. My mother has also become kinder in these later years. I need to keep my guard up still, but she’s a lot nicer now more of the time than she used to be anyways.

Pav, were you able to find a decent car at a good value? Hope your head cold clears soon.

LC, yes, I am feeling better! My energy level is getting higher and also steadier! I’m so glad to see improvement. It takes time, and I still need to focus on rest & self-care, but I’m definitely healing.

Lav, yes, it is hard to find balance in life, especially when we can’t control when major stressors are going to hit, such as work & caregiving responsibilities & tragedies. And if a lot hit at the same time, it’s when people can turn to booze & such to try to cope with it all. But, we still have to keep our anchor & balance & boundaries as best we can. And that’s especially important for us, in order to stay booze-free.

Narilly, your hubby maybe lost control at the block party you arranged?! Interesting position for you to be put in! Hope it went well with the birthday dinner that night.

Wags, I’m so sad about what happened to you with having that (2nd) car accident. And it also makes me more firm in my commitment to stay alcohol-free. Wasn't the other driver tested?

Feebee, you’re keeping it quiet in your 3D life that you quit? I stay quiet about it too.

Shout out to [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]! Happy Sunday to all!

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes Slo, I hadn't been going out, just staying home.

Have been making really great strides in my relationship with hubby in the past few weeks, I can remain calm and get through a conversation with him, now. Pretty cool, actually.


Thanks you guys. You're the tops.
Feebee

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Today was a catch up day - shopping at Costco with a thousand other people & stuff like that, haha!
The sun has returned so I am grateful for that

Nice to see everyone checking in & reporting their successes!
I have always loved the group support & therapy here, it really helped me get a solid start back in '09. I'm coming up on my 10 year AF anniversary March 26. I never would have been able to do it alone :hug:

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav