Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Flying by for a quick hello this un-hung morning before I head into a long day of teaching. MY S.O. is out of town for the next 4 days, and in the past that would've been the trigger for a 4-day bender on my end: no classes, no social outings, nothing but intoxicated days and nights. Ugh! I don't know why that ever appealed to me, and I am infinitely grateful that I'm no longer in that deep pit. Instead, I'll enjoy the sunshine coming in my windows on this chilly winter day, and I'll make some moolah

Happy AF Sundays to all!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow, what wonderful and thought-provoking posts! Addiction is complicated.
As Pav always says, recovery is simple, but not easy. It’s done one day at a time, one craving at a time. Hang in, everyone. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm all for an innapropriate kiss with NS! :heartbeat:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well i dragged my sorry butt out of bed at 4.15am to come to work. my alarm went off and i was like "wtf is that". Now i feel as if i am turning in circles wondering what to do first, so i made a coffee and checked in here. works for me.

NS thank you for the cudo's, sometimes i could sit and drink myself to oblivion but thats not my life anymore, if i cant do it myself, i now ask for help and reach out to those i can depend on. I am definitely my 100% priority in life, if i dont want to, i dont and if i do, i will.

Atm i know i am going to lose my fur baby in the next few months and each morning it breaks my heart, i wake up thinking about her, i go to bed thinking about her, she has been with the drunk Linda and enjoyed the sober one. I can only give her the love i have now and f#ck everything else. My holidays i spent with her and i would love to crawl into a box and collapse with fear but i cant and wont. she needs me, i need her. I will tackle her death when it happens but i will be there for her even if it means having time off work. I have arranged a meeting today with my bosses to put a few ideas out there and work from home more for a time. I know i could never drink at these circumstances but losing another fur baby within a year is mentally exhausting. Tomorrow is another day sober which is a guarantee.

Oh Pav, touche lovely. i think we all know my mother, bless her. I am hoping to go down this weekend and get my sons dog for a short while so she is not focusing on that issue also. Not looking forward to listening to her but listen i will and hold my tongue. might have to remove said tongue before going. Then i will worry about how i can keep an eye on her from afar.

LC you did great by not drinking, tick another box on your list of tools to use. I always thought of my children when i started my sobriety. I wanted to be sober for them, they are my life and i didnt want to miss a single moment, which i had done drinking. They tell me now how proud of me they are and for me that is enough to keep me going. Like you, the thought of letting them down is not an option and never will be. I used to watch a lot of doco's on alcohol, that seemed to lessen the urge realising that i could be just like the people who could not stop and its never pretty.

Pauly, the joy of a quit buddy is they go through the same crap we go through. i know when Pav and i gave up, i would read her posts and think "wow thats how i feel" and if she made it through then so could i. i never wanted to let her down and give her any ammunition to think she could drink because i did. There is strength in numbers.

Well i had better get back to the salt mine, we are in for a scorcher. take care xxx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun everyone. LC, you did well! Just imagine you could have had a hangover today and instead you can pat yourself on the back. Way to build that sober muscle. All the advice everyone has been giving you is great, the only thing I can add is Be Kind to Yourself. I know my self talk was terrible, I wouldn’t talk to anyone the way I used to talk to myself.

Ava, Mads is lucky to have you. It sucks you are going through this, hopefully you can spend more time with her.

Ya G, i appropriate kiss with NS, I’m in!

Yeah Ava and Pav you were lucky to be quit buddies. It’s nice when someone else knows what you are going through.

Have a good one.
Xo

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We have had a cold & snowy day here. I stayed inside to avoid the idiots on the roads, haha!

LC, you had quite a test yesterday & you did very well. Be proud of your accomplishment & enjoy the feeling of being stronger & smarter every day

Ava, very sorry to hear about Mads :hug:
If you can work from home for a while that would be great & probably reduce your anxiety. Why not?

I like Dr Daniel Amen's insight on brain health. Has anyone ever heard of him? His books are great & so is his podcast The Brain Warriors Way.
I heard him speak years ago about Killing the Ants - Automatic Negative Thoughts. Made perfect sense to me!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe 7 cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Feebee]

Re: Newbies Nest

I just want to check in. We are in a siblings all hands on deck mode taking care of my 99 year old in-laws. One has been in and out of hospice for a year or so and the other seized and stuff from her brain tumor yesterday. Every is dealing and cooperating and taking care of what is needed. I haven't read your posts, but will soon.

Don't drink tonight

Feebs

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Feebs, hang in there, that is exhausting. xo

Lav, it’s actually warm with no snow here, isn’t that strange? I hear winter is coming though. I will enjoy the warmth while I can. When I say warmth basically I mean it is above 0C and not in the -20’s.

I used to drink Sunday night because the weekend was over and I had to drink before my work week started. Haha, who am I fooling? I drank on Sunday really for no reason other than I needed the stuff. Anyway, I am grateful to be sober.

Goodnight

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning..

Freebee..:hug: and strength while caring for your loved ones...
you too, Ava, while caring for sweet Mads. i'm glad to hear you'll be able to work partly from home..

ok. running out the door to catch my flight.. very excited about having a sober, no-headache flight. lots of oj and water instead of booze is just what the doctor ordered..
love to all of you!xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Oh, that is a lot to handle, FeeBee. Aren't you grateful to be sober so that you can deal with it all? My dad and FiL are both declining - my dad slightly ahead of my FiL. I have found that I can't focus as well at work, but I am SO glad to be sober and un-hung to support my mom and family.

Ava - my sister was divorcing and got a dog just before who ended up being her support, best friend, etc. She died in November, and my sister is a wreck. She keeps apologizing and saying "she's just a dog," but she was much more than that - unconditional love, devotion, and companionship always. I'm sorry Mads is sick, and glad your work can be flexible. Yes, I never wanted to let you down with drinking, and know that you have a brick at the ready should something happen...

Nar - you're sort of a quit buddy, too. In the longer scheme of things, we quit at essentially the same time!

Happy Travels, LC.

NS - that list is funny. I have a few recurring "thoughts" also - driving my car into a creek by my house; dancing/stripping on a bar; skiing with dog poop on my ski to name a few. So weird.

I am a Warriors basketball fan. Steph Curry has been underrated his whole life, and wrote a great piece about it here. His mom gave him a speech about no one being able to define your life or write your story but YOU. I feel like it is advice I always get from my elders here (NS, Lav and Byrdie) - don't worry about what other people say or think about you. It IS freeing, and for me has been easier said than done, but I'm a work in progress. It has been a while trying to figure out who I really am - alcohol hid that for a long time.

Happy Monday, Nest.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh gosh LC, I just had a chance to read back and catch up - sorry to hear you had such a close call, and yet it seems like you gained several additional insights AND you strengthened your quit muscles. I love what NS pointed out about thoughts: how we all have a wide range of them beyond our control (which we don't and wouldn't ever actually act on), and the interesting comparison with waking thoughts vs dreams. I love the perspective brought by both of those thoughts (heh, speaking of thoughts

Safe travels to you LC, and enjoy your un-hung flight!

Ava - so sorry to hear about Mads :hug:

Feeb - sending strength and support to you as well. Caring for aging parents (including in-laws) is definitely not easy.


I made it through my super long work day yesterday. Actually, one student begged to reschedule, which I gladly obliged, so the day was a tad easier. I'm keenly aware that this would have been a 4-day binge opportunity for me in the past and there are corners of my brain trying desperately to find nuggets of attraction to pull me into that behavior again. Fortunately, I anticipated this and planned in advance: I have loads of classes lined up for these 4 days, plus a few other tasks I desperately need to tackle and will feel happy/gratified once I do so. I've also planned a dinner with my dad, a few extra-long walks with our pup, and I'm treating myself to a bookstore visit on Tue or Wed where I will gleefully browse to my hearts content and then spend my gift card

Plus I keep my eye on the upcoming milestone prizes: I'll be at 30 months or 2.5 years in about 10 days, and then I've got that 4-digit 1000-day mark to aim for this spring.

A lot of effort for someone who doesn't drink, but I'm not taking ANY chances!

Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by today. Hope you have great days and eves.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have a few recurring "thoughts" also -... skiing with dog poop on my ski .... So weird.

You WIN the Random Meaningless Thoughts Award :harhar:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Um, Pav, I don't even know what to say about the dog poop thing. That's way above my pay grade! :haha:
Dang it's cold here. 39 degrees and a wind chill. Cold weather makes my eyes water and then my nose runs so I'm constantly with a tissue, anyone else's eyes water in cold weather or is that yet another 'quirk' of mine?
We are heading to Pittsburgh on Thursday for the awards banquet. They are calling for more snow up that way, I haven't mentioned this to hubs who doesn't want to go in the first place! My prize is going to be a baseball bat, can you guess what my thoughts are on that (that I won't act on!)
Stay strong and warm today, evabody! Feebs, thinking of you in that very difficult situation. At least you are being part of the solution instead of part of the problem! Hugs to you. Byrrrrrrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, I second that, you win the rmt award . Yes, I feel like you, Ava and Jane are my quit buddies, we all were a great help to each other.

Abs, 2.5 years in 10 days? That will be awesome! You’ve got this!

Well, going out with my mom now. I hope to hear from this company regarding a job today.
Funny, I told my son I was worried I wouldn’t get the job. He asked me if things would change if I didn’t get the job, I said “no”. He said “then why worry”. Holy crap, what a smart kid. That made me feel a lot better,.

Happy Un Hung Mon everyone! Every day I wake up without a hangover is a gift.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, yes, my eyes and nose water when it’s cold. I am holding a tissue as I type this. Hope the awards banquet is good, don’t use that bat on your hubby, lol.
Drive careful btw. :hug