Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry I wasn’t here for you Feebee. It’s the restless full moon weekend, so no wonder you’re having problems now. I’m down too. We should feel on more stable footings soon!

We got a big dump of snow on Friday into Saturday, Lav, but now it’s just very cold -as in 1 degree F this AM, now up to 8 F. I will take snow over ice! So good that you’re keeping the chickens warm & comfortable with a heater too.

You have a busy social day today, Pav! Glad for you that it’s just with drinking and not with getting drunk people.

I couldn’t do the strict dairy-free & gluten-free; it knocked me sideways. Will have to be content with minimal dairy and minimizing gluten.

Hope we all have a good AF day!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I feel like thit. I have the flu. Yuck. B

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Feebee, you did a great job of coming here to post, distracting yourself.. I also wish I'd been around to offer you support. It's unusual when the Nest is empty.. If you haven't already, I would suggest asking for the number of someone here you feel you connect with.. who you can text or call or whatsapp if you're in a similar situation to last night, no one is around and you're in need of support! Let us know how you're feeling/doing today..

Byrdie, I'm sorry you're feeling cruddy on your 8 year af anniversary.. that's not really fair. We'll hold off the party and cake eating until you're up and running again. I thank you so much for your unending love and support and humour! here in the Nest.. You are one of a kind, Lady!:love:

I had some uncomfortable, left out feelings last night.. being at my dad's with my friend.. my feelings didn't have to do with drinking, but with social anxiety.. "I'm stupid, uninteresting, don't have anything to talk about, etc., etc"..though I wasn't having any sort of cravings, I knew the alcohol would be flowing so I reminded myself ahead of time, that I don't drink, that drinking can't help the CAUSE of the anxiety, that I don't want to start over, that even if I don't fit in in this situation, there are lots of people I can talk to.. it turned out being ok. Not great, but not terrible. I had numbers to text, call if I needed.. I felt good about half way through, proud of myself. At dinner there was a glass of wine at every setting (my dad hadn't listened to me) and my stepmom said, "honey, lauren said she didn't want any wine..".. so she's paying attention and I think that even though we haven't spoken in detail about it, she gets it and supports me. Which is GREAT! And I feel strong, like a non drinker!!

I'll just be here sporadically until Tuesday.. selfishly.. but I haven't seen this friend in so many years, so it feels funny to take too much time on the computer.

Love and strength and big hugs to all you Nesters!xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Byrdy! 8 years! It wouldn't matter to me if you had 8 hours up. You are legend 'round these parts. You are also a selfless person who puts herself out there and in the frontline for and with others, including strangers. I know because i have experienced this and seen it. I dips me lid to ya. Love, admiration, and respect always. Git over that darn flu real soon. G fella. xx

Wags, gracias mi amiga. That's a generous offer. Does that mean i'll then speak Spanish with an American accent?!

Great work Freebee! How are you?

LC, great job negotiating uncomfortable social situations. I try to step back in such situations and look at myself in it from outside or above, as if in hindsight (doesn't always work!). I try to tweak my perspective of the moment when i'm on the ball and catch myself getting anxious. e.g. like you said - 'this ain't too bad' 'what can i find here that's interesting?' 'my present company/people also have their story.....wonder what it is? surely it will be interesting on some level'.....'I'll see if i can find some common ground somewhere, anywhere to contribute to the convo, as i'm interesting on some level too'....Just some ideas around changing perspective. I'm still learning this one. have a great week.

I'm overworked so having a couple of days off. It'll be essential to have some 'me' time and mental space. All's well here.

L8tr g8trs.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters!

It's freezing here, my teeth are chattering but my chickens have warm feet, haha!!

FeeBee, I'm sorry I missed you last night. I think you posted shortly after I checked in but it sounds like you did a great job of distracting yourself. One of the best tools out there - distraction!!! Good for you!!

Byrdie, I'm so sorry you're sick. Please get well soon.
CONGRATS on your 8 YEARS AF :yay: :welldone:
I'm so glad you latched on to my tail feathers when you did, haha!!

Hello to Slo, LC, G, NS, Pav, Kensho wags & everyone checking in tonight.

Let's all stick together & battle this beast together. There's strength in numbers
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest.

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

8 years AF!! Way to go Byrdie! Woohoo! You are an inspiration Byrdie, what an accomplishment. Get better soon.

Feebee, so glad you didn’t drink. Laundry is better than wine.

Hey G I’m learning some Spanish too. I use an app called Duolingo, it’s not bad.

Goodnight everyone.
Grateful to be sober.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Well, I had no wine last night, but I did have a piece of birthday cake AND a piece of birthday pie. I actually didn't love either of them but I ate them anyway because sugar. I did feel pretty crappy when I got home since I have been sugar free (and wheat free) for two weeks. Back on that horse I say...

Byrdie, sorry you're down with the flu. I HATE that you're feeling so bad on this celebratory weekend.

Slo, BRRR. I don't see weather like that very often.

I am feeling a bit unmoored, also - I hope it IS the full moon so it will go away soon. It is funny - I feel like I don't have control in a lot of aspects of my life, so my house is pretty dang clean - one thing I can accomplish. I know I won't drink.

Happy SOBER Monday - I am off today for the MLK holiday. A good day to reflect.

Pav

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

Well done on 8 years Byrdie! wow I rarely last 8 hours and here you are into year 9 - an inspiration to all!

And hello to you all - great to hear some Spanish here too funny enough I just enrolled for a one to one Spanish lesson where I live - I want to learn because there is not much of a life if I don't and will probably just drink alone in bars and sluur something "funny" to the Spanish waitresses who are never really impressed with an Irish drunk living in Spain - hmmmm - yeah ok its better not to put myself down - but today I feel I deserve it - lived up to my name again last night - but this time I was with my young son - I woke this morning not remembering how I got him to bed / what time / how I fed him etc etc and I had to ask him!

I couldn't even work today - I freelance so that's a lucky thing and can start now at 8pm.

But today the penny dropped - especially when I realized I can;t remember anything after a certain point last night and I was with my son - its scary!

I threw all the bottles away and am now drinking grape juice - it's hard but I know tomorrow I will feel good and I will write here every day - because it actually does help!
I don't feel alone in this.

So now with the plan - do stuff - so I started with the Spanish class and I am looking for other things to do - to get involved in stuff after my work...even knitting! hahaha

Alright OK - thanks for reading and I wish you all lovely day.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, yeah the sugar thing is hard especially when you are at a party. I struggle with it myself.

Nice to see you Three bottles, I did the same thing with my kids over and over. It really sucks when you can’t remember those precious moments and the associated guilt is terrible. Good thing that you realize this now. Keep posting and don’t drink today.

Happy Monday everyone.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Woke up to a chilly 8 degrees this morning, geez that's cold!!!!!
It's a balmy 15 degrees now, haha! My chickens are cooped up but they have warm feet & lots of treats to keep them busy & happy

Hi to Nar & Pav! A little sugar now & then is OK in my book but certainly not every day or week even. I think the moon interfered with my sleep too.

ThreeBottles, glad you stopped by. Checking in twice daily is what I had to do to keep myself on track in the beginning.
Distraction is a major tool so go ahead & pull out the old hobbies or try a new one. I also vowed to never step foot in a wine store again & I have kept my promise to myself. I just can't have any in the house, it would sit there & scream at me if you know what I mean.

Byrdie, I sure hope you are on the road to flu recovery :hug:

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thorry you feel like thit, Byrdie. Hope you’re getting lots of rest.

G, that’s a good idea to be proactive about knowing you’re getting burnt out, so taking a couple days off to keep your balance. It’s good self-care, and helps to prevent relapse.

LC, I totally understand the social anxiety and thoughts of “I’m not interesting, I have nothing to say.”. Good job navigating through those feelings and through the event. Nice that your stepmom was being sensitive & considerate!

3 Bottles, so glad you’re back! It’s amazing that we do that (drink & risk a blackout) with our kids. But we do. Good motivation though, to quit and stay quit! We can all stick together.

Better dessert than wine anyways, Pav! Just treats for a feast day, now back to regular life.

Stay warm, everyone in the northern hemisphere!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Byrdie,hope you're feeling better Threebottles,just reading that gives me anxiety,that scary,so drunk you forgot how you did anything the night before,ugh,glad you're here to stay strong and get rid of the alcohol! It really is a dark scary place to be actively drinking,Pav,I had birthday cake Sunday night too but I'm not doing any sf or gf thing either,was gonna cut out sugar but to keep my sanity I've kept a little in here and there haha everyone sounds bueno and that makes me happy,wishes for a wonderful AF day,(take it as al free or as F#$&,)either way it'll be a happier one

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, gracias mi amiga. That's a generous offer. Does that mean i'll then speak Spanish with an American accent?!

Totally. It'll be awesome dude.

:victorious::thumbsup:


Fun fact: when I was in Italy last fall, almost every time I tried my beginner level Italian on a local, they invariably said, "Oh, you speak Spanish don't you?" And I took it as SUCH a compliment that I sounded more like a Latina speaking Italian than like a gringa americana. Hahahahaha!!!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - I sure hope you feel better soon!

ThreeBow - Yikes, that sounds like an effective wake up call. To be honest, not being able to remember past a certain point of previous eves/nights was a significant kick in the pants for me too. I wasn't just drinking until I feel asleep or passed out - no, I was blacking out and not able to remember chunks of time where I was still up and doingstuff. I'm so sorry you experienced that, and I hope it gives you a firm reason to turn the corner. :hug:


Hellos and waves to everyone, especially all of you buried in snow or otherwise entrenched in cold weather. Have great days and eves all!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Hump day here which is great and in for some hot weather.

Kensho, a child's honesty is precious, listen to her. I wish my children had not grown up seeing their parents get plastered, they might have made much different life choices with regards to drinking but i will never know.

Fee, great work on coming here and posting. I used to post up a storm while everyone was sleeping but it definitely helped that al voice to show it how determined i was.

Byrd, i hope you are feeling better. I dont miss those winter time illness's.

Hows you holiday going LC? You will get to a stage where you dont care what people think. You are you and if people didnt want you there they would not invite you. I look at people who drink now and think how boring they are and why the hell do they need to fill their bodies with al to think they are interesting.

Three, for me the blackouts were a big deciding factor on me stopping drinking. it would take me about 3 glasses and then after that i remembered nothing. Scared the crap out of me. Now i have no cringe worthy moments thank goodness.

Its been busy at work but February is when everything ramps up again, i have been working from home and have lost that guilt feeling that i am letting everyone down. I still do it all at home but seem to have more breaks for some reason! Mads is loving the attention and me being home so that is good. In for some warm weather tomorrow and Friday so will be working from home. I am so grateful that i became sober and got this position. Oh imagine me working from home if i was drinking.... neither can i.

take care xx