Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

3Bots, great to see you. Yes, the blackouts were a real problem for me, too. I am amazed that I let it go on for as long as I did. I was so deeply in the hole I didn't know how the heck to get out. I remember thinking that there's no way I can go one night without drinking, HOW COULD I? It's a scary thing to finally let go, but what's scarier is if I hadn't! Good job on getting all that booze out of the house. We'll be right here by your side. Hope you don't mind a few flu germs.
I feel hellish. I had to get up and do some work but I'm about to go lie back down.
Thank you for the wonderful anniversary wishes! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!! Today is day 21 AF. I have been just taking it ODAT and have not been around the site much and also have not posted. Believe me though I don't think a day goes by when I don't think of everyone here and all the info I have gleaned from you good people. It is just that I think depression has me by the throat right now and it is hard enough to just get done what I must everyday so I am doing what I can to survive for now. My goal is to remain AF. A goal that I find to be very elusive. On again off again is not what I want but it seems to be my default way of being. ~ Hoping and wishing everyone is well. Will be around to post and read so as to shore up my resolve (a.k.a desire) to keep on track. Exercise is what I need but two back to back bouts of sickness with sinus and then stomach virus sidetracked me for a few of weeks and now I know what to do. Just have to do it. Here is to another day AF. Best to all, hyper

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Nesters!

Thanks Slo. :-)

Lol Wags. Now that's cool mi amiga.

Good to see you 3B. There's a reason to change your life right there my friend. Saludos desde Australia. (in an aussie accent)

Good to see you too Hyper. 21 days is HUUUGE! Congratulations! I just can't recommend exercise enough. I never ever come back from a walk, run, swim, gym feeling worse. It is always without fail a pick me up. Once i discovered this, then i had to develop a non negotiable plan for myself around self care, that includes (for me) exercise. An effective, natural drug free anti depressant. Alcohol feeds depression as you know. It pours petrol on the fire. Take care of yourself.

Regard's to Mads Ava. Get well soon Byrdy!

Big waves to evabody

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still pretty chilly hereabouts but not as bad as yesterday, thank goodness. I just saw pictures of Niagara Falls frozen over - geez. I was there last summer for the first time, can't imagine it freezing!!! Spent the day getting caught up with shopping, cooking & the usual daily chicken activities

Hyper, good for you getting 21 days under your belt, that's great!
Depression is what kept me in alco-hell for way too long. I made a plan & worked on some issues, primarily Negative Thinking. I was always a positive person until I wasn't & things really went downhill then. Doing that seemed to lighten the heavy weight on my back & allowed me to focus on going AF once & for all. Is there anything you can do like that to help yourself along? Stick close to the nest, very helpful too.

Ava, I've read a little about the extreme heat down your way. Take care of yourself & Mads too

Byrdie, it takes a good week to get your strength back after the flu. Take good care of yourself as well.

Hello to G, wags, Pauly & everyone.

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hypernova, welcome back!! Congratulations on being 3 weeks AF. Your illnesses may have been a blessing in disguise to help you get those 3 weeks! That’s a good start you have there.

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION], I’m not doing SF or GF or anything anymore either, because when I do, I also lose my sanity! I’ll just have to focus on staying AF and be happy with that.

Ava, I appreciate your empowering take on things once again: that soon we won’t care what people think about us in social situations, and if you flip it around, it’s weird that people have to put AL into their bodies in order to be interesting!

G, it does become very very important to us on this AF path to keep up with our regular exercise routines in order to combat depression.

It was relatively warm here today, so I took a walk in a beautiful snowfall! All was not good though, as I pulled over onto a good street to walk the dog on, but pulled over too far onto snow and the car slid down the bank & got really stuck. That was an expensive tow, but it was NOT due to drunk driving like a couple of passerby’s thought!

Hi to Wags, Lav, a sick Byrd, LC, 3B, NS, Narilly & everyone too!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!

Well done on 21 days, Hypernova! It's been working for me, too, ODAT, with my eye on the future.. I wish I had something helpful to say with regards to depression. I do know that alcohol is absolutely the worst thing in the world for depression! And as G-man said above, exercise helps a lot to make me feel better. I wish my body could take on 3 hours a day as it really does do wonders.. but my knees don't agree. Signing in here and posting like crazy when I'm feeling down also helps.. even when I don't have an ounce of energy.. I always feel at least a little bit better, connected, if I do it. Know that we care a lot about you! And are here to listen!:hug:

G-man, I feel the same as you with regards to exercise. I love how you said, " Once i discovered this, then i had to develop a non negotiable plan for myself around self care.."-- It has been so much easier to keep myself emotionally balanced with daily exercise being a part of my plan, one of my Tools! Of course I'm on vacation and have a beautiful mountain nearby to climb up and around.. so I'm in the process of planning how I can integrate exercise into my life, every day!, when I'm back in the cold, and have work and all the other stresses of life to deal with.? I've been looking into hiking/long walks around Berlin and there are a lot! Being in nature is also part of the equation for me, feeling that connection.

Ava, thanks for that post..black outs were my norm.. and it's taking time to get my brain in order. I am slow in a lot of ways, have troubles focussing and thinking in a linear fashion, following conversations. I feel like I'm coming out of what I'd imagine a coma to be like (of course I have no idea what that's really like).. but you know what I mean. and it was it's own sort of coma.. I'm so glad it's working out with you working from home! That you can be there for your little Mads..

Big hugs to Wags, Lav, Pav, Slo, Byrdie, Nar, NS, Pauly, Kensho, 3B's..

I've been staying true to myself and it feels really good. Got the chance yesterday to say no to mid-day prosecco.. we were visiting my friend's uncle and it was easy to say, "no, I'm driving and don't want to fall asleep at the wheel!".. on the drive home my friend asked whether or not I drink at all any more? I said no. that I realized after LOTS of thought and trial and error that alcohol makes me tired, depressed, anxious, sick, gives me headaches and heartache.. that I couldn't find any good reason TO drink. She said, "good for you! You're so strong to be standing by your decision.".. she said that alcohol makes her depressed and she's often thought of stopping for good.. will stop for long periods of time but then gets caught in situations, mostly where she doesn't want it to be awkward. I told her that I am now always anticipating that alcohol could come up and am thinking about what I'll say in advance. Most everyone understands when I tell them why I don't want to drink.. migraines, depression, etc. Who's gonna push alcohol in such a situation? And it's the truth. I think if someone tried to push me, I'd ask, "what? do you want to see me dead at the bottom of the stairs?".. I also told her, in a sort of light way, that I've always been crazy around alcohol.. that if I start, I just want to continue until everything's gone. I think a lot of people can relate to that.. and have thought, damn, why do I keep doing this?
Anyway, it feels good. positive.

ok. off to bed. xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love how you phrased this, [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]:

Got the chance yesterday to say no to mid-day prosecco.

You had such a different experience than if you’d grudgingly turned it down, feeling weird, different, and deprived! Instead, you used the opportunity to strengthen your quit and feel good about handling what could have been a tough situation. Isn’t it great to be the boss of alcohol and not its slave??? :hug:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, NS! I am looking at situations at this point as opportunites to practice. I'm glad to be in this state of mind. I'm heading to my dad's today to stay for a few days and I don't think he'll pressure me to drink.. he might suggest and I've got my guard up for that. His place is where I've broken my quit the past couple of times so I'm hyper aware of the triggers. I've decided that if he's drinking to the point of not being able to hold up a conversation in the evenings, I'll just spend time during the day there and sleep at my mom's. I can handle being around him when he drinks a bit.. but I won't put up with drunkenness!:happy2:

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,LC,wonderful posts connectivity is so important in all of this,that feeling of not wanting to come back here saying"I drank" is a huge motivator(even tho I've done it 1,000 times) I don't wanna do it anymore, good job on turning down the midday drink,not only does alcohol cause all those thinks but the sickness in the stomach and dehydration are another turn off,Hyper,congrats on your 22 days now! Woo-hoosorry about the depression,I get it off/on and it pisses me off,I call it the "Blues Brothers" just to try to make it laughable it's such a waste of time,mine ATM is anxiety,hate it but tax time always makes me like that,grrrrr, Slo,yep I just try to keep foods I know aren't great for me to a minimum,keep your head up and power thru everyone, think positive, patient,productive thoughts today(try) wishes for a fab AF Day!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All--

3BOW - Are you still around? Congratulations on coming here and getting ready for the rest of your life. If that night is scary for you, imagine how scary it is for your kids? They see another person - their mom, but not really their mom.

Way to go on three weeks, Hyper. I know it is hard, but a big factor in many people staying sober is a sober community. I would recommend staying connected here or at an in-person meet up so that you have the support of a community that knows what's up. In your post it sounds like you don't really believe you can do this. I think if you don't believe, there is no way you will. What are you doing differently this time to keep sobriety going? How can we best support you? WE BELIEVE!

G - I am with you on the exercise. Someone once said to me - it is like a medicine that you need. You would never say you weren't going to take a medicine the doctor prescribed to you, so how can you not exercise? Of course it doesn't always motivate me, but I REALLY try. Exercise was KEY in my being able to quit.

Sounding strong LC, and I like your plan with your dad. It is amazing how many people have talked to me about drinking now that they know I don't drink. There are so many people who question their drinking and say that they can't believe how strong I am! It is a different spin for me, because I always considered myself weak for "letting" this happen to me. Reaching out and helping others has been another key to my own sobriety.

Ava - I worked from home for a while once - my problem were the multiple trips to the refrigerator! I'm glad Mads has you there.

Off to work. Happy hump day.

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone, I am sick yesterday and today. I must have caught it from Byrdie.

Way to go Hyper- glad to see you here.

Life, you are doing so well, that is awesome.
Pav, I’m with you on the exercise. I exercised a ton when I first quit and I still do, just not as much.

Ok, I’m tired now, ttyl.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick fly by..
Pav, loved your take on thinking of exercise as something the doctor prescribed! It's true.. that along with good nutrition is actually all that most of us need. Crazy that it can be so difficult to stay disciplined!
Pauly, you're sounding great! Loved the 3P's thoughts reminder.. positive, patient and productive..
Nar, hope you're feeling better soon..

I decided that it would be good for me to come by again.. as I noticed that I have some anxiety here at my dad's (and boredom, wanting to escape) that I didn't realize before. I think I used to escape with alcohol here.. it's around 2:30 now and I'm fairly certain I would usually sneak a drink in around this time to deal. Weird, 'cause I love him to death and we actually have quite a bit to talk about, pictures to look at, cribbage to play, movies to watch, walks to go on. The anxiety is probably some habitual feeling from long ago. So I am trying to just relax.. there's a ton of mint chocolate ice cream in the freezer.. I have a book, I have you all, I have a mountain to climb! I'm not in anyway feeling tempted to drink.. but I don't want to be side swiped! Want to be AWARE!

xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Stay vigilant LC,ugh Narilly I caught Byrdies bug too I think,feel awful

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Gosh, I’m sorry everyone is catching this crud. You should go wash your hands after posting.
Feeling a bit better, but tired and achy.
Stay stong everyone! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Damn Byrdie ~ you really spread a little of yourself around the nest, haha! I'm glad you're getting better, it takes a while.

LC, you're doing great so please don't freak yourself out. Your plan is solid & you do indeed have all of us to lean on :hug:

Nar, hope you feel better soon as well!

Hello to Pauly, Pav, NS & everyone. Slo, sorry to hear about the towing incident, I know how expensive that can be.

Made a pot of soup today which is basically all we're eating these days. The winter weight thing is killing the both of us, there's no such thing as normal metabolism after the age of 65 I swear, LOL. The temp is warming up a bit so the chickens were out all day enjoying some sunshine. Big rain (flood warnings) on the way for tomorrow, oh well.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav