Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

SLO, your post made me so cold I ran to the drawer and got the heating pad! Holy moly! Stay safe!
Another day on the crazy train. Friday is in sight!
Belle, Change and Moffit, great to see you. Settle in and make MWO part of your day like I do! It has really changed my life. We’re so glad you’re back!
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Heading down to 4 degrees tonight - yeah that's cold!!
I have a space heater plugged in for my poor chickens, hope they survive. I hope we all survive.

Slo, I can't imagine being in the mid-west right now, geez Stay warm!!

Belle, welcome back. I am sorry you had to witness what you did. I don't think there's a parent on the planet who has an easy time dealing with teenage hormones.
My kids were warned, in plain English that I didn't want to be a grandparent when I was in my 40's. I had friend's going thru that with their kids, it was rough.
This is a great time for you to worry about you & strengthen yourself in every way possible. I'm glad you made today day 1, keep going & stick with us :hug:

kensho, two nights on my new pillow & I am liking it so far. Expensive but who cares, right? SleepNow Luxury Pillow

My grandsons just went home & I am pretty much brain dead right now, haha! I need to clear my mind so I can eventually settle down to sleep.
So I'll wish everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest. Stay warm everyone except Ava & G who need to stay cool

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good night and thanks for the re-welcome to the nest. I was feeling a bit shaky earlier, but I occupied myself with a cooking project using my Instant Pot. Got me through the witching hour, which I know will get easier as time goes on. I was home alone all day, daughter was at the boyfriend's house...which was ok, as he has 3 younger brothers that hang around so shenanigans are pretty much impossible. Fortunately my daughter and I have a pretty good relationship, so we have discussed just about every topic related to sex that you can think of. She is almost 16, and I was not exactly a nun at that age either. Knowing that they are having sex is one thing, but SEEING it is quite another. However, I do need to focus on myself and perhaps might do that by getting a new pair of boots.

It is darn cold here to say the least. Took fur baby out a while ago and she didn't like it any more than I did. Take care all...keep warm or cool...whichever is appropriate.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

For all of you in cold places, please stay warm and safe!! I have a nephew going to college in Chicago and we're saying, just stay inside! Hopefully it will warm up at least a little bit soon.
Lav, glad your ladies are taken care of..:happy2: I can imagine them gathering around the space heater, clucking and complaining..
Belle, I'm glad to see you back in the Nest! As you said, it will get easier in a couple of days. My eldest also started much earlier than I would have liked. I remember being so sad, feeling like I wanted her life to be different.. I've grown into it and am happy that she feels like she can talk to me about everything and that she's taking care. But still, it was hard. I hope you will begin to check in more often.. I always miss and wonder about people who wander away from the Nest..:hug:
It's been so helpful to me to really use this place as (I think) it was meant to be used. In the past I think I've shied off at some point, feeling like I should be further along. "Why and how can I still be having thoughts or struggling after so and so many days? what am I doing wrong?".. Now I'm trying to be hyper aware of micro feelings/urges/whatever, that might sneak up on me.. forewarnings.. 'cause that's what has always thrown me off track. Little things that I ignore, that build up.
Like last night, I was sitting on the sofa at my dad's, exhausted after an out of town trip where my head was literally almost talked off by his friend. She's so nice, but must not have spoken to anyone in 2 years.. so she got it all out. Then my dad was asking me questions we'd talked about the day before. I held out, knowing that it was probably my last day at his place. He was drinking a glass of wine and we were watching the news.. it crossed my mind, I could go to the liquor cabinet and drink myself silly and no one would ever know. They would never know (it was always my game to sneak, I almost felt like a thief and like I was "getting" them--which goes back to my childhood. obviously!).. I didn't entertain it in a real way. It was more like NS was talking about the other day.. Like standing at a view point overlooking the Grand Canyon, thinking, I could just jump in.. or at the top of a high bridge looking into a river down below.. I felt far removed from it because I wouldn't do it. But still. It's alcohol and I'm in early days so I don't want to take it like it's nothing. I'm aware that alcohol is crossing my mind in any sort of form.. I don't want to be caught off guard.

Today is Thursday and I leave Monday night. So it's getting to the critical time of having to say goodbye, which is always so hard for me. I always begin to get depressed at this point. I'm hiking every day and trying to stay in the moment and positive.. I really want to cut sugar at some point because it affects my mood swings.. but to be honest, I'm afraid to try because I know it's a lot of work for me and I don't want to put my sobriety in jeopardy. I have cut down! It's mostly in the evenings that I'm "craving" something and I need to figure out why that's happening. I'm on day 45 without alcohol and I don't feel like I've picked up sugar as an equal substitute.. but I do think I'm using food/sweets sometimes if I'm in a situation where I'm insecure.

Just wanted to get that out there for myself.. off to hike before it gets light!
Big hugs to all of you..Kensho, Ava, Gman, Pav, Byrdie, Slo, Wags, Pauly, NS. Lav, Change, Moffit, Belle, Feebee, I know I'm missing someone. Love to you all!xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

You are using the heck out of MWO this time, [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]. I think that is so important, especially if this is your main or only source of support, as it has been for me.

I mentioned to [MENTION=5766]Chance[/MENTION] or [MENTION=24314]Moffit[/MENTION] on the no sugar challenge thread that while I'm (obviously) a fan of not eating much sugar, in the short run it is much better to have a sweet treat than to take a drink. For one thing, sweets don't addle your brain in the same way - after a drink, the odds of making the next right choice are pretty poor! I remember episodes of eating tons of carbage after drinking too much wine even though I was totally full and supposedly off that stuff. On the other hand, while eating something sweet after I stopped drinking often gave me the urge to drink, I was in my right mind and could make the good choice not to. Alcohol crosses the blood brain barrier VERY easily by diffusion and makes us STUPID.

I bet your parents have enjoyed the time with you. Committing to visiting yearly sounds like a good plan.

It is great to see you back, [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION]. Swap out any drinking time for time here and I bet you will be fine :hug:. Having teenagers isn't for sissies, is it? It sounds like you've given her the guidance she needs. One time when he was 15 or 16 I gave my son some advice on a serious topic like that and although his response sounded sort of snotty it was kind of true: "If I don't know that by now, I'm probably not going to learn it". I think he probably was right.

It is starting to warm up here! -20F when I got up and up to -8F now :smile:.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

brr it is cold over the other side of the world. Its pretty amazing watching it on the news, i cant imagine it being that cold.

Well no more sleeps till Phil Collins, i am pretty excited i must say, as are my youngest two. i am sure i will walk away with great memories and remember every single part of the night.
Today is 14 days of no smokes and dont know how i have done it but this time it feels different (sounds like with giving up al). i have my tools and plans in place for tonight and am feeling pretty strong. I have days where i have a deep need for a smoke but i dont/wont give in to that nicotine voice. one day at a time.
I took mads to the vets yesterday and all of her vital signs are normal so that is a relief, the vet was really happy with her except for the lymphoma of course in her liver/tummy and her congestive heart failure but she is a fighter and will celebrate her 16th birthday in March.

Belle, stick on here and take each day as it comes. Teenagers are just adorable arent they, i wonder how i managed to do it 4 times but the outcome is that they turn out to be lovely adults, we just have to make it through without throttling them.

Back to work i go.

take care xx

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesties

Congrats on 14 days of no smokes [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION].

I agree NS, alcohol does make us STUPID. Thereby enabling us to make STUPID choices.

Worried about having family stay the weekend. They aren't big drinkers, so hopefully I can stay on course.

Stay safe and warm!

Moffit

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

They aren't big drinkers, so hopefully I can stay on course.

Hope isn’t enough in my opinion, Moffit. Do you have a plan for situations you think will likely arise?
My easiest path out was a quick “but I don’t drink” to myself and everything else followed pretty nicely from that.
Have fun with your family!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo! S'up y'all.

I reckon i need a new pillow now Lav. I've never paid it no mind before, happy to lay my head anywhere warm.

All is good here. Rolling along very nicely thank you umpire.

LC, you raaawk! I think your approach with your dad is spot on. We can't change people who don't want to change, but we can just be with them and enjoy their company and who they are. Safe travels there mi amiga.

Yes, i'm still chasing Spanish speaking chica's........:nutso:

Making lot's of music here. Do what u love. Take it easy out there. L8tr g8tr's.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in after a record cold day here, a poopy day of work, and a nap. I have a few minutes before taking daughter to gymnastics. However, when I return I will be back to read and catch up, as that is when the witching hour hits me. Day 2 here. bbl.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Yep, it's still pretty chilly, currently 9 degrees, Brrrr!!
I am happy to say my feathered friends survived the night. They are loving their space heater, LOL. I didn't even let them go outside today - maybe tomorrow.

Belle, good to see you & great job on 2 days!!

Ava, 2 weeks of no smokes - you rock! It really is harder to quit smoking than anything else, I agree. Enjoy the concert & we'll be looking forward to your report afterwards

NS, I've really enjoyed not being STUPID for nearly 10 years now, haha!! I don't ever want to go back to that life

Moffit, have an escape plan ready if the company gets to be too much. We have all faked an illness or used 'taking medication' as an excuse to not drink.

LC, I imagine it will be hard to say goodbye to your family again. Planning the next trip will help take some of the pressure off. You have been doing great & congrats on your 45 days!

G, that pillow was kind of expensive but I think it was worth the price. I have to take care of my granny neck, you know??? LOL
I hope you have a great weekend.

Byrdie, I hope you are recovered & feeling more like yourself.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the advice [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] and [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION].
I don't think they will encourage me to join them if I say I'm off booze, so I feel safe there. It's just the voices in my head I have to worry about. I do have plenty of cans of chilled unsweetened flavoured sparkling water on hand..I love that stuff!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening to all in the Nest,

I can see where you would be having thoughts of sneaking drinking, LC, with the confluence of having had a draining day combined sitting next to somebody drinking, and that somebody being one of the very people whom as a child you used to see what you could get away with by sneaking! Good that you are aware of drinking thoughts, and also aware that they were just weird passing thoughts that were being triggered by the above, and that you could just observe them with mild curiosity but not act on them.

Big congrats on two weeks off cigarettes, Ava! Hope the music took you away at the concert so the smoke didn’t bother you!

Glad your upcoming visitors aren’t big drinkers, Moffit; that’ll help.

You took good care of your chickens through this cold weather, Lav. For some reason it makes me happy that they were warm & safe together!

[MENTION=17602]Fin[/MENTION], you have a good, supportive plan; and whether we do AA or not, the first step is always admitting that we are powerless over alcohol. Which is a tough one, because why are we powerless over it when other people are not -or not as much, or not yet? That’s what makes it hard. But as Kensho says, “Once wired, those connections never fully go away” ...so we MUST come to this acceptance. Which is what you are doing!

Welcome back, Belle!

[Change]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh, hello Nesters! I could not wait to get home from work and look at this thread. Day from hell that pushed nearly every trigger I have, playing on my insecurities and anxiety.

Byrdie, Lavande, Belle, Lifechange, nosugar, available, Moffit, G the chica's man and Slo, I hope you're all doing well

@ available: i hope the Phil concert is going well. We expect a full account after the fact, please :goodjob:

@ Moffit: I can't stress enough about how having a plan is important. Hopefully you are working on one?

@ Slo: the first step is definately admitting we are powerless over this thing. I think I finally have and that is after many trials and errors.

Anyway, edited all the horrible work stuff out. I'll hand it over to the Universe to sort out once I have done as much as I can.

I hope everyone's travelling okay tonight

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,nice to see the nest poppin with so many great posts Moffit,it definitely is our own voice in our head we gotta watch out for,I'm having that now and I don't know why? Its like I did dry January on another site and now my brain is trying to tell me I've crossed that finish line and is trying to convince me it's time to drink that's why I hate counting days I seem to self sabotage myself, I'm sure you'll be fine with your family,just keep your eyes on your goal Change,yes a plan is important, sorry you had the day from hell! LC,you travel home Monday? I'll bet it'll be nice to get back home and into your routine,Lav,glad your girls are surviving the cold,I dunno how you all do it that live in cold climates,I'm so cold all the time so Vegas fits like a glove as far as weather goes haha, Ava,I hope you fill us in on the concert,I'm excited for you,waves to everyone and wishes for a fabulous AF Friday!