Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,yep a few songs are triggery to me and I just don't play them and if they come on the radio I hafta turn it off depending on my mood,Byrdie and Wags hope you're on the mend,Belle,good job on getting thru,I'm like Lav,love the g-kids but don't even wanna think about how they got there ugh,just too hard to see our kids as sexual beings,I just can't and I'd be traumatized too in your situation, I've been so damn irritable lately,I think it might be this vitamin I've been taking with extra biotin? Or there's something else in there making me a witch,or I'm just a witch haha,have a super sober Sunday all!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Recently I read somewhere a recommendation that you don’t have to or shouldn’t take the same supplement every day; that you can take something just a couple few times a week, or rotate what you take. Maybe that would help, [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]!

Thanks for your poignant poem, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]. So red wine was a favorite of yours too? That was my second favorite poison, after beer. Mostly only those two. Luckily I hadn’t transitioned over to hard liquor much; was getting on the cusp of that though.

Byrdie, it’s amazing how poorly people get treated at work. My sister worked as a market researcher for years in the corporate world, and was treated just like you describe by her “clients” and “colleagues”. That was just the standard for how the market researchers were treated. Bullying is alive & well in the workplace. It shouldn’t have to hurt to go to work!

Pav, a lazy morning in PJs; well that’s what weekends are for!

Waves to Belle, Moffit, Lifechange, Lav, Guitarista, Change, Ava, wagmor, NS, & everyone too!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy SOBER Sunday, all.

Not much to say. We went to a birthday party in a bar last night. It was HARD, making small talk, and yelling at everyone because it was so loud. I wanted to leave the minute we arrived, but we hung around a bit and caught up with an old friend we hadn't seen in a long time. I realize that alcohol made events like that tolerable, because without it they are so painful! I didn't want to drink, but I also didn't want to be there too long.

Glad the Stella got some fresh air, Lav. Maybe that's in line for Pav today, although it is raining still (we love the rain here!). I actually like walking in the rain, but this storm is chilly and windy, so maybe not...

Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,

Gosh, when I miss a day I feel out of touch.. even when I don't have much to say, just reaching out and saying, "Hello!!"
Happy Sunday. It's a stay in your jammies kindof day here, too. We also had rain (drizzle) and fog, Pav.. not too cold, though, so my mom and I made it out to the trails. It was quite surreal to see saguaros appear to be coming out of the fog. Of course I'd forgotten my camera! All the little desert birds were singing with joy! And the colors were so bright without all the dust!
Pav, that sounds like a drag of an evening and I'm glad you didn't have to stay too long. I think I've given up on having conversations in loud bars.. at least if there's (good) music, it's possible to focus on that. I forgot to mention that I thought of you the other night when I went with my dad to hear a band.. it was great music to dance to, but I was too shy. I thought of how much you love to dance and just do it! I hope I'll get to that point as I do love to dance.. and do it all the time in the privacy of my living room!
Ava, speaking of music! I'm so happy to hear that you had such a nice experience with Phil.. sounds lovely.
Pauly, I'm also such a witch sometimes! Exercise ALWAYS helps me.. my tried and true. I just have to figure out how to make sure I get enough of it!
Byrdie, I just don't know what to say about the awful people you work with. You sure don't deserve that and I wish you could find a place that could cherish all that you have to give! I'm glad your health is improving and you're feeling better..
Lav and Wags and Slo and NS and G-man and Belle and Kensho and Change and Moffit.. wishing all of you a nice Sunday.. relaxing and restorative. Think I might crawl into bed with my book! Later I'm off to my dad's for the superbowl.. don't know how I feel about that. There will be chips and guacamole.. there is that.:happy2: xx

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Was just on myfitnesspal and there's two groups about alcohol,one group wants to get/stay sober and the other group is a less alcohol for the month,although it's hard work for both groups to keep to their goals it seems like the ones trying to cut back are having a harder time than the ones who just don't drink! The hangovers,overdoing it,unscheduled drinking sessions etc just sound like a pain in the ass! Just an observation I thought I'd share

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday, fellow Nesters...good to be here sober. The gymnastics competition was lonnnnnnggggg. Then we went out to eat afterwards, and then to Ulta to get an eyebrow pencil 🙄, which turned into a bit more including some good cover-up makeup for me to use on my skin cancer surgery scar. When we came home around 8 or 9 (I was so tired I don't really remember) I went to lay down for '1/2 hour' before walking the dog. Next thing I knew it was midnight and fortunately hubby walked dog. Daughter's team did not make it to regionals, she is ok with that and I am more than OK with that. this gymnastics season was exhausting me.

Lav and Pauly, you are cracking me up about the grandkids and how they 'got here'. The next time I want to see my daughter's private area would be someday when she gives birth (if she wants me there)...and not a minute before that. And that also better be quite a few years from now. And as far as seeing the boyfriend's...let that be a big NEVER again.

Byrdie, sorry you have been sick for so long and having to work with these annoying people to boot. Maybe they need the boot. I'm lucky to have the job I have. I screwed up a proofread the other day and the worst thing that happens is that I got 'the face' from the boss. He doesn't hold a grudge either.

Lav, are your chicks ready for the warm up? What a seesaw of weather we are getting in this part of the world.

Pav...funny about the birthday party and loud music. Before Christmas we went to a special dinner at mother-in-law's assisted living center. They had a 'lounge singer' type guy there making music and man was it loud. It would have been hard not to drink if booze had been available as the experience was so awful. I could not make any conversation as nobody could hear each other. perhaps the music volume had to be up so the ultra-seniors could hear it? idk. But I am just lucky it wasn't a bar. Kudos to you!

Hi to everyone else...Wags, Slo, LC, G-man (I would love to hear your music).

Husband has some special meal he plans on making tonight. I see a bottle of wine on the counter. He knows that I'm not interested in drinking it but probably needs it for cooking. He had better use it all and/or drink it himself. I do not need the temptation around. I know one small whiff can get me back to the 'dabbling' again and I don't want that. If it is still around when I get home from work tomorrow, down the drain it goes...if not sooner.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle,I was in the delivery room of both of my daughter's births,I stood up by her head both times,I just wanted to be in with her but not invade her space

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I have to say the chickens & I thoroughly enjoyed the 53 degree weather today :yay:
Felt like a beautiful spring day as long as you didn't look at the melting snow & mud everywhere, haha!!

Pauly, biotin is a B vitamin & I know your history of getting jazzed on vitamins. Maybe try taking it every other day (3X/week).

Pav, I don't think I would even try coping with a noisy bar at this point in my life. Glad you got thru that mess.

LC, you are flying home tomorrow I think. Have a safe flight. I'm sure you'll be happy to get back to your girls

Belle, I also hope it's a decent amount of time before you hit grandma-hood, haha!
My daughter did not invite me into the delivery room & I'm kinda glad about that. My DIL did invite her mother in......glad it wasn't me, haha!

Hello to Slo, G & everyone. Byrdie, how's it going today?

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I was watching Sunday Morning on CBS yesterday. They had a segment on Food Allergies, and they showed a family who's twins had deadly peanut allergies. They are 6 years old and have been in the ER about 6 times with accidental injestion of peanuts. At the end of the segment, the little boy said that his DREAM was to eat a Twix bar or a Kit Kat some day. I thought for a second about that. We all know this little boy will be fine not having ever eaten a Twix or a Kit Kat, but because he couldn't, he REALLY wanted that more than anything else. MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. It really reminded me of us. Everyone knows that humanity would be better off if NOBODY drank AL. It impairs everyone and affects every cell in our bodies. it is not medicinal, as we were brainwashed to think. It is a substance peddled, pushed and very addictive. I've seen so many of us here say, 'If only I could drink like a normal person'....I've said it myself! What a crazy and inconsequential wish, like that little boy who only wants to be able to eat candy bars. It is a way of life for him, and us. I also wish I were rich and thin. :happy2: (that ain't happenin either). In the great scheme of things, not being able to drink AL is very minor. It takes time to see it that way, but if you stick with it, you will see it, too.
Hope everyone has a great week. Byrdie

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All, thanks ByrdLady for inviting me to this group AGAIN. I am ashamed to say I have been drinking again 4 or so years. Started again as a coping mechanism for the witching hour after the birth of my son. I used it as I had before to go through the monotony of 5-8pm life with two young ones. I started with wine and the odd spirits but quickly accelerated to hiding spirits to get the hit. Fast forward to today. I am still drinking. 5-6 doubles every night. Feeling shame, guilt, remorse at what I have put myself, friends and family through. Family are talking of rehab. I still have a lot of issues with my husband. I get anxiety around 4-5pm and very jittery I end up taking a drink to stop it with the resolve to limit it. You all know how that works out. In addition, due to a stressful situation with my husband in September 2017 I’ve started smoking. I hate that I started, it’s not even something I would have considered before the said situation. It knocked my self esteem and I’ve lost who I am.
Past few days I’ve been listening to audiobooks and you tube videos of trying to stop drinking. In the last two years I have really got into something called Yoga Nidra and have completed teacher training for that for kids, insomnia, stress, relaxation, Dream yoga work and been getting into all sorts of teachings and readings around bhuddism, yoga and all sorts. I have coupled all this with neuroscience and science in general, as my career was as a scientist. This stuff is addictive and we all know I have addictive tendencies. ����*♀️ Today as I was feeling dreadful doing research on giving up drinking- just finished William Porters Alcohol explained I was led to the nobeeroneyear site and it occurred to me then “why am I going for other sites when the one that worked last time is still running”

So here I sit. Nearly five o’clock and I am waiting to get my son from nursery. I am worried it isn’t safe to stop but as you all know the one leads to the next. My nutrition has gone to pot. My cousin has got me some extra supplements. I just want rid of this all ��

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I’m off to get my son.
Love MinStar

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest friends! It’s been busy and crazy here - no excuse for absence though. Glad to read all of your words.

MinStar, glad to see you again! Sorry you are in a tough place. The NEST is a great place to start, Sending you HUGE (((hugs))).

AVA, glad you enjoyed your concert to the fullest - sober. It’s a special kind of enjoyment listening to music without the distraction of substances. It is Totally annoying though when others (usually drunk) talk through the whole thing! So great that you are tackling the smokes - way to go!!!

Wags, glad your dad got good news at the Dr. office. That’s great news!

Belle, if only my sex drive remained teenager-like into my busy adulthood. Having kids and starting a business changed all that for me. As long as they are safe…

Byrdie, this job seems to be a negative drain on you. I second G’s sentiment. You see to take a lot of abuse there. And you don’t deserve to be abused! Let us know if you want the NN clan to show up and wip them into shape. I’m sure you’d have plenty of takers here. Thanks for your peanut allergy post - great perspective to remember.

PAV, you have me longing for your rain. I love how it makes me feel as if nature is giving me permission to take deep breaths and be slow. I love our sunshine here, but do wish we had a few more of those dreary, cozy days!

And LC - fog with the saguaros? I bet that was amazing! I love the smells down there when there is moisture.

Belle, good for you for knowing you have to dump that bottle. That’s helped me on more than one occasion. It hurts to have to look at it every time a cupboard or fridge is opened.

We had a very busy weekend - too busy for me. My husband had me really annoyed and upset. I watch him do things that I used to do with alcohol and I struggle to deal with it. He plans trips, dinners, etc. around making sure he can get his buzz. It bothers me that he wants to be so buzzed at dinner with me and the kids - feels like he doesn’t want to be with us at all. Then he “casually invited” several people over to watch the super bowl, but it doesn’t even cross his mind how much work that entails for ME. Sundays are my busiest day of the week, and hosting a party is NEVER on my wish list.

But, it’s Monday now and I’m alone in my house all day! Deep breath! Have a strong day everyone.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's great to see you, Minstar! I was in a very similar situation only I was on vodka when my hubs got on my trail. In January of 2010, I PROMISED him I would stop drinking vodka and go over to wine, after all, I didn't have a problem with that....until I did. Little did I know, my problem was with ALCOHOL, not the carrier it's in. So another year went by of my lying and sneaking. After it became apparent to my hubs, he issued that ultimatum to me....he packed his clothes and left Jan 19, 2011 I stopped drinking ANYTHING that night and haven't had a drop since. I was drinking about what you are when I quit vodka and about a bottle and a half of wine there at the end. More on weekends, of course. I quit cold turkey and while I was anxious, I was ok (in terms of DT's or whatever withdrawals you call it). Expect to be anxious because we aren't getting our fix. That helped some. It's just 3 hours that we really have to get thru. My husband sat right here across from me and said he didn't think I could do it alone. He thought for sure I would need rehab. I came to this nest with NEW resolve. I had to listen, instead of thinking I could modify what others said. I read and posted and was coachable, where I wasn't before. Surely I WAS DIFFERENT. I wasn't. Stick with us like glue. Get all the AL out of your space. You've got this, I KNOW you can do it. There is no one stronger than you wen you make your mind up. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody,

Good to see you Minstar and good to see you want to reclaim your precious life. Reclaim it. It always amazes me how soon we start to feel better when we stop ingesting the poison. Mood follows action. We can often feel ourselves turn 180 degrees in as little as a few days to a week. Go for it mi amiga.

Hi friend Kensho. Raaawk star!

Looks like the weather's warming up slowly in the northern hemisphere. All good here.

Big waves to all.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Well i am still getting over the Phil high but work is certainly busy but still blaring out his music every chance i get.

LC safe travels and be proud of yourself and how strong you are in your quit.

Kensho, ever thought about going out and leaving hubs to look after his guests. Maybe its time to put your foot down with him. Men are so much like small children sometimes (sorry G).

Welcome back Min. I had a litany of excuses of why i drank and i used those excuses every day until i could not do it anymore. I'd drink if it was sunny, windy, rainy, i woke up too early, i woke up too late, i had a crap drive home and always work was at the top. drinking two bottles of wine a day and starting to drink three, made me realise that something had to give or i would be dead. Realising that the only person who could stop the madness was me and support, i came on here and have never left. why should i and why would i, when accountability is a huge tool in my sobriety. I am so glad you listened to Bryd and came back. stick close to here and realise no excuse is ever good enough to take a drink.

Just a quick check in for me, new doctors have started and we are so busy trying to help them. Day 18 not smoking and not happy but one day at a time. No one is worth smoking at either.

Take care xx

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you guys for your overwhelming support. I’m so far in I couldn’t stop today but am determined you can help me through this. You didnbefore. Wassnt ad bad but you helped me. Please help me. The only thing that worked ❤️����