Newbies Nest

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey wagmor how wonderful you have a day off. From your message I am assuming your a tutor of some sort? What do you teach? Your day by the fire sounds delightful. Where in the world are you? I am in The UK. Just returned from school run and need to go out in half an hour to get my youngest from his nursery. I’m slowly getting to know the people that are in the nest. If you have time. An you tell me a little about your journey here? I would love to hear it. I’ve been searching other threads for people’s stories. I hope your cosy fire book and pup day goes well.

I have eaten more today and lots of fluids. My AF drinks are chilling in the fridge. I’m listening to stuff about drinking and it’s effects all the time I can (when not running around the kids). Unfortunately, the house has my husbands whiskey and I’m going to ask him to hide it when he gets in from work. Although things are not so good in our relationship he is doing all he can to get me back on track. When I quit in nov 2012 I did almost two years AF. Went back for around 9 months and then pregnant and breastfeeding for a year. And as I said in my first post, stresses of witching hour and kids and more recently life situations I am back. First time hubby didn’t know about MWO but I told him about it last night.

Well nearly time to go get the little one,
Much love all,
MinStar

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Great work on no drinking Min, my anxiety was through the roof when i stopped drinking, mind you it was through the roof when i was drinking. Today my anxiety is good, i still have anxiety but i am not feeding al into it so i can deal with it now. My sleep was crap so i napped when i could and just realised that i had poisoned my body with al for so long that i now had to understand that without al, my body was healing itself due to what i had done to it. i had horrendous headaches also but everything settled down. For ten years i was killing myself by drinking so i figured if it took ten years to heal myself then that was ok. luckily it didnt or hasnt taken ten years. When you pick up your babies leave your wallet and cards at home, if you dont have money you cant buy alcohol. Be gentle with yourself.

Wags, lucky you having a day off. oh god those unexpected drinking days! i drank when i was sick, ffs, how bad is that. Another excuse to drink!

Well i have a new member to my family, Carl is his name and he is a 6 week old shitzu/maltese, the same breed as my Rupert. I have tossed about whether i wanted another dog after i lost Rupey but i think the company will be good for mads and i just cant imagine my life when mads is gone that i dont have a fur baby. i didnt want a puppy but..............he is just adorable and i will post a pic later. We dont pick him up till this weekend or the next. After 19 days of not smoking i have paid for half of him.

Hump day here and better get back to the grind.

Take care xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Minstar, there is a product called GABA CALM that can be helpful for anxiety when you’re first quitting, as it supplements the low levels of GABA caused by excessive drinking. It comes in lozenges that you can let dissolve under your tongue.
Also, l-glutamine can help lower the frequency & severity of cravings.

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION], your new upcoming puppy sounds so little & cute! My maternal extended family has always favored Shitzu’s. You can swap puppy stories with [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION]!
Maybe being busy with a pup will distract you from cigarette cravings too.

[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], cool that you got a free day to relax! And that you’re far enough along to not be tempted to mis-use it.

Byrdie, even though it has been used for centuries, I would agree that the world would be better off if nobody drank AL. Even though it relaxes people socially, the statistics bear out how deeply damaging it has been overall to personal health, family health, & societal health. Yes, it is very addictive, as we have all found out! -and the marketers are very busy peddling & pushing it, so must be a very lucrative market.

Wishing everyone a good sober day!

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Hope everyone is doing well.

I managed to get to 12 days AF and got too sure of myself on day 13. My company was great they didn't even drink while they were here, but the day they left, we went for a late lunch before they headed home. Afterward they drove home and I drove to the liquor store to reward myself for surviving the weekend. WHY???
Anyway, back to AF the next day so at least it didn't end up in a week long binge. The Gabapentin helps with craving but it's not fail safe. I must keep that in the fore front of my mind.

Cold and sunny here today. I went out for a walk earlier, it was lovely.
[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] A new puppy! I love puppies!

Have a happy sober day!
Moffit

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We were treated to another spring day in the middle of winter, LOL
We have outlets not too far so I went & got some things for my granddaughter's upcoming birthday

Wags, I love a happy surprise day off

Ava, a new puppy, bless you!
I am still missing my big dog who passed a year & a half ago but not sure I can handle a puppy. I would love to adopt an older, calmer dog though. Good luck! And congrats on your smoking quit. I know how hard that is too.

Minstar, keeping yourself distracted & changing up routines is a huge help. Keep your end goals in mind. Think about your kids & being the mother they truly deserve

Moffit, sorry to hear you chose to drink but glad you didn't keep drinking. Maybe having company so soon after your quit threw you off you game. Maybe see if you can plan ahead for company & decide ahead of time how you're going to handle things. It takes practice & a good plan but can be done.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

You’re doing great [MENTION=16215]MinStar[/MENTION]! It shows that you are committed when you share that you are on MWO with your husband. I’m glad he is supportive to you regarding drinking. You were able to do 2 years… you can do this again!!

AVA, congrats on your new furry family member! I look forward to that picture!!

Hi Moffit. I used to do that type of drinking all the time. I would endure a dinner out in the city with friends and husband and keep to one drink… until I got home and took shots alone. Part of my drinking was a control thing and a “me” thing. Something I did privately for myself and with myself to escape. Such self control until later when I could sneak around! It also had the unintended consequence of no one else really knowing how bad my problem was. Keep questioning, and asking and trying. You will get it!

Today was very stressful and intense. My son has evidence that someone took his production costume and I brought it up to the teacher and was very disappointed with her behavior regarding the issue. It was a stupid $11 sweatshirt, but evidently the lead in the play can get away with theft. It’s not ok, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I would like to approach that little shit - but I know it’s my son’s thing to deal with. Tough parent issues.

This afternoon I was remembering how I would pine for wine and have tunnel vision until I got it - and then completely check out of life the moment I took that first sip. I was controlled by alcohol. So glad it’s not an option for me anymore.

My neck pain and a horrendous attitude hit me Sunday after I ate gluten and dairy - glad to say it’s all better today! I really can’t eat those things - it’s official.

Hoping for a productive day tomorrow where people are held accountable. Keep strong everyone! You can learn to weather the stress/boredom/or whatever your trigger is WITHOUT alcohol with practice!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nest,

Off from work today, but it is house cleaning day. Really more exhausting than going to job but it must be done!

[MENTION=24314]Moffit[/MENTION], I used to do the same thing. Avoided AL while people/stress was around me, then crumbled afterwards and started drinking. I guess I saw it as a reward also. I knew it did not make sense, but I think in my mind I would think that 'as soon as these people leave, I am going to need a shot or two (or many more)'. Actually, this is how my drinking has been in the past few months, so it was not daily, but on an 'as needed' basis. But I know all too well that this behavior can lead back to the same old daily habits. Don't want to go there again. Good for you for coming right back!

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION]...congrats on the new puppy. I'm not sure I would want to deal with puppy problems, but now with a senior dog, I don't think it is much worse...and the fact that she cannot help making the messes and she is not really trainable. We love our fur babies and I cannot see life without one in the house. Can't wait to see those pictures.

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION]...kids can be such assholes. My daughter had a number of things stolen from her gymnastics bag, personal things like a bracelet (with the date she first started dating her boyfriend engraved on it), a team T-shirt, and a few other things. I have no suspects, as it could be anyone from either of two teams. But if I did know who did it I would want to ream them. Good that you see it is your son's thing to deal with, but these things are tough for parents. Parenting teens is so much a thing of 'letting go', but not really letting go. idk what that means, but hopefully you will. 😂

[MENTION=16215]MinStar[/MENTION]...hang in there. You did it before so you know how to do it. You definitely want to get rid of the demon AL before your kids understand what is going on. I'll never forget that my daughter caught me pouring water into the gin bottle. She was probably 7 or so...I wonder to this day what she thought, and how many times my kids knew I was drinking.

Day 8 today (I had to use the calendar, I'm so bad at counting days). This is going to be a bit of a rough weekend with events going on. I'll have to come up with safe ways to reward myself.

Hi to all...G-man, Lav, Byrdie (hope you are feeling much better), Pav, NS, LC, Change and anybody else. Time to start the cleaning!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

My daughter had her cell phone stolen at dance class! There were only six girls in the class, with no other classes going on at the time, and one girl left to use the bathroom during class and stole her phone then from the locker room!
BUT -she didn’t turn the phone off! We used Find My Phone, and my husband & daughter tracked it right to the girl’s house. When her father answered the door, all my husband had to say is “Your daughter has my daughter’s phone”, and that guy didn’t argue as he could see the evidence was right there!
She pretended it had fallen into her boot.

Kensho, I am gradually getting my neck stretched back into better shape & better alignment. Also I have been dramatically limiting dairy, and I too have noticed that without dairy my neck swelling & stiffness is much improved.

I remember pining for wine and getting such bad tunnel vision that once I was desperately using my teeth to open a bottle. The opener must have broke and gotten stuck in the cork or something. Now I have a slightly chipped front lower tooth because of that.
I was thinking of that yesterday when my daughter got her braces off, and the orthodontist cautioned her to never use your teeth to open a bottle. I’m glad I’m not controlled by alcohol anymore either!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Slo and Kensho the only thing I notice about dairy(mostly milk) is that it gives me terrible brain fog,not sure why but every time I drink it,I feel funny Ava,yay on the new pup! I'm excited for you and I think it's just what you need,Lav,I hung up the Christmas card from last year with your departed fur baby on it,they defo are family members, Moffit,sorry you chose to drink but you did a quick rebound Byrdie always said something about 12-13 days being tough,glad you are here and fighting,Minstar,meant to say hello to you the other day but I think we cross posted and by the time I noticed it was time to go to work,I do remember you tho,glad you're here too!) Wishes for a fabulous free day for us all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Hope your night one went well, Minstar. I agree with ava - no wallet or cards in the car for your trip to pick up kids...

Mofitt - what went through your mind when you decided to get that drink? I wonder how you can change that thinking from "I deserve a drink" to "I deserve to treat myself well - WITHOUT alcohol?" The key for me was accepting that I couldn't have alcohol in my life and have the life I wanted - with my husband, kids and job. Then in those moments, good or bad, when I "deserved" something, alcohol wasn't a choice. For a LONG time it was ice cream, but now it can be as simple as I deserve to sit still and breathe for five minutes, or to go for a hike, or to cook something healthy for my family. Believe me, I'm not perfect (fast food hamburger and fries for dinner last night), but the one thing that is certain is that alcohol isn't a choice for me any more.

Kensho, glad you're feeling better.

Ava, I hope Mads loves Carl - what a cute name.

Gotta run to work - I am tired this week!

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Belle, I used to fill bottles with water too! Didn't work so well for the brown liquors though...Ug! Not a good memory.

Minstar, I totally agree with no purchasing power on those trips. That was a big part of my initial plan - to make it impossible to stop and buy booze.

PAV, it's amazing how what we come to replace booze with - sometimes such simple things! I have been amazed at how natural it is now to come up with a different solution to my ailments, whether it's stress or anger or loss or whatever. Booze is only ONE of many, many options - and the others are usually much healthier!!

After sleeping on the theft issue, I have a clearer mind. I'm not happy with how the teacher dealt with it, and want to talk with her. But I'm not going to raise hell. It's cold and frosty here today - every little tree branch is covered and the sky is quiet and light gray. I am getting that dreary day after all - just one that is frozen!

Hope everyone has a good day.

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sio thanks for the gaba idea. I am taking it in herbal form 👍🏽 It’s witching hour here and damn do I need it 😢

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16215]MinStar[/MENTION] I hope you're still holding strong. Try drinking buckets of AF fluids and keeping your tummy full. Sometimes that can get me over the "hump" of witching hour.

Thanks everyone for supporting me after my slip. I'm a tough old crow and will not give up.

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] , [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], [MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION] my reward trigger is deeply ingrained after nearly 40 years of daily drinking. I think this will take some work to undo.

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION] practice makes perfect

Keep smiling!
Moffit

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Welcome back Moffit, good to see you back so soon and not running and hiding to drink. 40 years of drinking can be undone, one day at a time is all we need to do. A lot of us long termers here didnt go to events for a few months that werent necessary. Why put ourselves through that when we were so newly sober. My tolerance for al is zero now and there is no feeling of deprivation in me. I am totally grateful each and every day to be sober but i know how hard it was to get to this point.

Day 20 no fags and yesterday was nearly a case of the f#ck its, i was pretty stressed with work and the brain dead moron who was my old boss decided to have a dig at me which annoyed me more than it should have. So i drove home and stayed inside except to go to the chemist to get some nicotine spray. No one is worth smoking AT.

I was guilty of filling the wine bottle up with water and that was so sad to me. Another deciding factor that my drinking was getting bad and something needed to be done. The planning and deceiving myself and others was awful.

Mads is not well today so i have a meeting to go to and then will go home, hot and humid which is draining.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Nesters.
Finally feeling human. Great to see everyone checking in and staying strong. Never underestimate the power of this addiction. Use every tool you’ve got!
Hugs to all, Byrdie