Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great job on 150 days, G-man!!! :sohappy:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats, G Man on 150 days! :llama: Save the drama for the llama! Well done, mate!
Moffit, you know, just about any place you travel could be considered a drinking culture these days. Wags and G are so right, making a plan is key. I survived Ireland and New Orleans and several sales conferences. These things don’t have to derail us. After all, it’s the people and places that make a spectacular vacation, not what’s in your glass. You can do it!
Having a relaxing Sattidy! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks Slo, LC, Gman and Byrdlady
I'll have to make a plan at some point, for now I'm just chasing away the thoughts as they come. I leave at the end of April, so maybe once I get some real AF time in, I'll be able to look forward. [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION] thanks for the travel support. We start in Rome, travel through Tuscany and end in Venice. I'm super excited! (trying to banish thoughts of being excited about red wine.)

Good job on 150 Days Gman! That's solid!

Enjoy the day sober everyone!

Moffit

[Change]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

There seems to be a really 'chirpy' vibe in the nest this weekend. No pun intended.

@ KENSHO: yes, issues at school need to be addressed and it should be a partnership between school and parent. Consequential thinking should be encouraged in schools..

Also, 'shift in mood' sums up what is needed and pretty much sums up what the main motivator for this crappy substance might be. So, well done for putting it so succinctly.

@ lifechage: replacement habits are definately on the list of things to do when battling this habit. I have a list of things to do and one of my strategies when i get triggered is to pull something off my list to do when i get the urge. It usually works as a circuit breaker.

@ Byrdlady: gotta love those 'images'! My resounding image is me sitting there with hard liquor in absolute squaler. Hopefully i never get there

@ Hypernova: stay vigilant. Work out your strategies and remember there is a monkey on your shoulder trying to play tricks with you. Get your warrior self out and take control of you and flick the monkey off!

If there was a day i could have broken AF, it was yesterday. Could feel the mindset of 'who cares, what have i got to live for' mindset creeping in, as well as the boredom and wanting a mood change (thank you KENSHO for drawing my awareness to this), but kind of fought it. Went to the gym.. Friend called me to go out for dinner. Got to the pub and was about 85% certain that i would have one glass of wine. Thought about it, thought about where one glass would go (we all know).

Thank goodness the pub had jugged water at corner of bar. That in itself stopped me from going to the actual bar, which stopped me from putting myself in a position where i might make an impulsive decision to just have one drink (i can be impulsive).

Jeez, that was close.

Plan for today is to set out on a shopping trip, a big proteined lunch (out somewhere), gym later and then Netflix catch up. Maybe some thinking and setting good intentions in the evening.

G-Man: congratulations on your 150 days, getting quite a count aren't you

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I survived the 7:30am gymnastics meet. Daughter did OK, but I know she wanted to do better. But who can do anything like that at that hour of the day!!! Hopefully the next meet (in 2 weeks) is at a more humane time. [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] I'm sorry your daughter smashed her finger...but I would probably also look at the bright side...that I could sleep in tomorrow.

Boozing was not even an option last night as I had to get up at 4:45am. Nights like this, when an event is over, is the time I like to shake loose and even looser with boozing. Signing in now, posting and reading should set me right for tonight.

Moffit the trip to Italy sounds wonderful. I survived an almost 4 week trip to South America in the first year of my almost 5 year quit. It seriously was not has hard as I thought it was going to be. We were part of a group and there were always parties and events to attend. Booze usually flowing. I always had a 'go to' drink in mind when going to a restaurant. I think cranberry juice and club soda, with a twist of lime was my go to then. now it is tonic water, which I think I am addicted to as I have to have it just about every day. Sometimes when I order a plain tonic water in a restaurant, I get a strange look. I then say 'a gin and tonic please, minus the gin'.

Tired and worn out from today. The drive into the city was no picnic either. Daughter's boyfriend came with us and I had to spend the meet with him...trying not to think of what I saw a few weeks ago. :eek-new:

My husband has taken such an interest in cooking lately...I'll just let him go at it.

[MENTION=16215]MinStar[/MENTION]...hope you are doing well. Keep flexing that AF muscle and I swear it will get stronger.

@Byrdie and [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION]...thanks for keeping the nest on the right track.

Time to make some tea and read here a little more. Boozeville train don't stop here either!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=24314]Moffit[/MENTION] . I went on an international vacation when I was 6 months alcohol-free. It was a tough situation, because I had incredible stress prior to leaving, and then was traveling with people who didn't believe I had a problem and pushed alcohol on me at every turn. I did not have a solid plan. And I drank. And I didn't immediately return to pre-quit levels right away, but I immediately obsessed about it, snuck it and had the "excitement" for each night - it controlled me again. And it controlled me for 1.5 years after that until I finally quit for good. I lost another 1-1/2 YEARS! I wish I had had a solid plan in place. It is pretty early in your quit to do something so tempting as Italy - but you can succeed if you develop a fail-proof plan. I would think a daily check in - or more often - here or somewhere would be a must, as well as making sure the people you are with know you do not drink. A trip to Italy can be so many other delicious, wonderful, sensual things besides alcohol, and then you won't have to repeat the beginning - and possibly lose more time than you will care to admit! Start making your plan!

Feeling tired today. We have a date night with another couple for her birthday, and I offered to be DD. People love that about me now! As long as they don't get stupid, I'm fine with it. Should be good food - though it's really hard to eat out and completely avoid dairy AND gluten.

Anyway, hi to everyone here! Have a great night!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

No Boozeville stops for any of us this weekend

Belle, you're sounding good, stay close!

Hyper, great job on your 39 days! I hope you are feeling positive results & wanting to keep going. As we forge new habits all this really does get easier, promise.

G, 150 AF days :welldone:

Not quite 3 months after my quit I found myself on a trip to Quebec. I had just quit smoking too so I had stay alert, stay diligent & still enjoy the trip. Turned out easier than I feared. Wandering around Old City Quebec was fascinating, the weather was perfect in early June. I had nothing to be unhappy about. I hope everyone can go on their trips & come home with their quits intact & wonderful memories & pictures.

Slo, the ice/snowstorm arrives here Monday night into Tuesday ~ thanks a lot, haha!!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

For a normal drinker, participating in the wine culture on a trip may somehow enhance it. But- if those same people were told that for some reason they couldn’t drink while away (say, a drug interaction with something they needed to take), they would probably be disappointed, not devastated and desperate, like an addict feels. It wouldn’t ruin their trip. Some would gleefully decide to swap the alcohol calories for gelato.

I was in Scandanavia a few years before I quit drinking. I enjoyed the trip in many ways but was constantly stressed. Whether I’d get my fix each day was unknown and I knew it was never going to be enough or soon enough. We were traveling light and staying in hostiles so no carrying around bottles of wine. We didn’t eat dinner until 7:30 or 8 and I liked to start drinking alone at 4 or 5. So the sightseeing in the late afternoons was misery. And then when I could finally order a glass of wine with dinner, I had to make it last. No one else had more than 1 and heaven forbid, I didn’t want them to know I was desperate for MORE. And some nights there was no chance to drink at all. The craving only faded when I could finally sleep to escape.

No matter what we were doing or seeing, my thoughts were never free from chasing the fix, worrying about whether I’d get it, and knowing that it wouldn’t be enough. There was no peace of mind or true enjoyment of the whole experience.

Sadly, when I look back on that trip, that is what I remember the most.

[Moffit]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks once again for the support Nesties.:love:

I'm taking a step back from posting on the site, as I think it might be exacerbating my "drinking thinking". I need to take it slower, I feel myself getting all "ramped up" for no reason.

I will still be around, I just can't do this every day.

Peace

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Moffit if you dont post then just read. For me, this site was my accountability and still is. In the early stages of a quit you will think of al and the advice given on here is to help you build your tools against this and be stronger. Just my thoughts only, you know what is best.

G congrats on 150 days, no one is worth drinking at, are they?

Well Carl has settled in very well, spoilt of course. My son is the main care giver for him at present as mads is not overly keen and she is my focus so not much spoiling from nana as yet. Day 23 of not smoking and boy did i get a case of the feck its. if it had of been earlier in the night i would have gone and bought a packet and had those same feelings of "just one" blah blah blah. Like that al voice used to be like. i woke up today and tossed around the idea of buying a packet but didnt. A damn close call i must say and looking for new tools to help me along.

Have my daughter visiting today which has been lovely. She probably more came to see Carl but thats ok. I did get a much needed hair cut.

Work tomorrow, weather been lovely, life is good.

Take care xx

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] congrats. [MENTION=24314]Moffit[/MENTION] keep reading even if you don’t post. I’ve been reading more and it’s helping. When I was around a year into my quit in 2012 I went to Florence with the girls. This would typically mean a big drinking week. However I was almost a year into the quit and went into it with the mindset if I wanted to I would. I actually didn’t want to. I didn’t feel like I was missing out and it’s one of the holidays I really loved. Now thinking back to it, without AL I enjoyed the trip. Remember the stuff we saw and did without being hungover and feeling crap and hating myself. I also did a trip to Australia over Christmas and NY that year and it was the same. I didn’t want to drink and the trip was more fun.
I don’t know how far into your quit you are but sending you :thumbsup:

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

It's a rainy Sunday here and we're taking the day to just laze around. Had big fleamarket and cinema plans, but it's so cozy here. So we're reading, cooking a bit and playing cribbage. Tomorrow I've got to get myself back into exercising.. I felt so good getting my body moving every day when I was in AZ. My very physical job tires me out which is problematic because it isn't the same as getting the heartrate up and going. Gotta Just Do It!

Ava, you're sounding good.. I hope today will be an easier one with the smokes. Do you have similar tools in your toolbox as to when you quit drinking? Gosh, I'm really proud of you. Post more Carl pictures when you have a moment.. and would love to see another of Mads. Little dear.

I love the thought of a sober vacay! With the exception of the 3 weeks I just had away from home, I've never had a proper af vacation.. most of mine have been exactly as you described, NS. What a nightmare and what a shame! The addiction had a strong hold on me, that's for sure.
Now I feel like it's more about daily maintenance. Does that seem right at 55 days? Am I getting ahead of myself?
I still have thoughts of going out and buying a beer.. but as we've talked about before, it's either thoughts like jumping off a bridge.. or more often, I'm anxious about something. For instance, today.. it crossed my mind but I know that's because I have some internal stress about the work week coming up. So the second thing that crossed my mind was, "don't be crazy! How much worse would the upcoming week be if you decided to drink?".. and that stopped me in my tracks. The headaches, scattered brain, inability to concentrate, shame and anger at myself, the fear of opening myself up to hell again, the sinking feeling of knowing I'd have to begin again.. I tried moderation in every way possible for 7.5 years.. I really tried!
I was watching a series the other day where a woman was reading over a document for work while she poured herself a glass of wine and then sipped, carrying on with her reading. I thought, gosh, wouldn't that be nice? And I guess it would be/was. But that hasn't been my reality for more like 9 or 10 years. And even then, back in the day, I always drank at least 2 glasses, forgot what I was reading and often binged! For me, that is what's important.. MY reality. I am still new to not acting on my thoughts, to finding new ways to deal with my emotions, to understanding that these things pass with some time.
Today that means making a quiche without cheese because I don't trust myself 100% to go to the shops!

Wishing you all a nice Sunday. Big hugs!xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G-man - :congrats: on a big 150 days / 5 months!!! You sound like you're doing great, and I look forward to hearing about your plans for another trip to S. Am. That is my favorite region of the world to travel in. I've been to Chile, Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, and Ecuador. Brazil is on the list but probably not for a few more years. Our next big adventure is probably going to be Alaska, either this year or next.

Ava - sounds like all are having fun with Carl except maybe Mads, and that's understandable. Hopefully she'll adjust to having a youngster in the house and they'll become buds.

Change - good job avoiding that close call. Sounds like you used several good tools, and now here you are with your quit intact. :yay:

Moffit - sorry to hear that being in the nest is challenging for you in some way. Take care of yourself, but maybe also look at what's going on with that. We're all on our own journeys so what works for one might not be what works for another. I hope we'll still see you around sometimes, and as others have said, there's no obligation to post. I suspect we've got a lot of lurkers and they are all warmly welcomed (hello to all of you )


A busy Sunday here in Wagland. I've got three long-ish tutoring sessions including one that's here in town. Not sure that one will happen as we're in the middle of a snow and ice storm ourselves (snowpocalypse they always say, which often turns out to be hyperbole but occasionally is on target) - not much snow but I'm pretty sure the roads are sheets of ice this morning so maybe not traveling anywhere.

Hope you all have fantastic Sunday days & eves!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

x-post LC - good to see you

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

You, Too, Wags!!:love: