Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi [MENTION=3075]Change[/MENTION] . I had lots of highs and lows and very flat spots when I quit. You'll fill up those flat spots before you know it - and the flat spot is the thing you need to find other things to do besides drinking. If you drink, you reinforce that discomfort is solved by drinking. If you wait it out and just keep putting one foot in front of the other - you will begin to find that other things catch your interest - and your life will be more full than you ever imagined it could be! I don't know how I wasted so many hours a day drinking! You gotta push though the uncomfortable feelings and just feel them. They will pass!

It's like you have a hole in the ground. And you fill it with alcohol every day. Once you stop filling it with alcohol - it just feels empty for awhile. Slowly, you will find other - much more meaningful seeds to plant - and with time they will grow beautiful things! But if you just cave and fill it with alcohol, you will never have anything but a boozy mud pit. Have patience and trust that life will get better.

Hang in there everyone!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

And to think I thought that I was the genius that invented filling vodka bottles with water. :exclaim:

Part of my problem in facing addiction was thinking I was the only person on the PLANET doing such sneaky, weird things to obtain, drink, and hide "enough". I hid my drinking from most people (helps to be married to Captain Clueless or maybe he is Dr. Denial) and did not know anyone who admitted to a drinking problem. So I thought I was the only person who hid little bottles of wine in socks in my suitcase when traveling, drank it from coffee mugs and juice glasses, stored bottles at the back of file drawers, or drank wine directly from the spout of a box. I couldn't imagine that anyone else rotated grocery stores so clerks wouldn't know my big secret. I was so mortified by my seemingly uncontrollable behavior, there was no way I was going to tell anyone how messed up I was and ask for help!

There used to be some active threads around here where people confessed their 'drinking sins'. They were hilarious and so relatable --- and very reassuring to find out we're not alone.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, I had a suitcase that the lining zipped and I could pack vodka bottles in the lining and they weren't visiable at all if my suitcase was open. I also hid bottles behind shoes in my closet. I did steer away from refilling vodka bottles with water because that came back to bite me in the butt when I wanted a drink it was all watered down! My crowning moment may have been in a hotel in Spain. I drank the rum from the little bottles in the mini bar and filled them back with water. To prevent anyone from knowing the seal was broken, I took tiny pieces of gum so the seal would appear to be intact.
I'll see if I can find that thread, 'You know you're an Alcoholic when......' Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Don't get me started on the dumb sh*t I've done when drinking, haha!! Can you say late night online shopping for stuff that I would never need or even want? Infomercials were very dangerous back then, LOL

Change, I think it's really important to fill up your old drinking time with something else. Knitting, sewing, reading, exercising, cooking/baking....anything really. Staying busy & keeping my mind off of AL was vital. I also got into listening to online speakers om any different topics. Meditation helps calm the monkey mind & brings a lot of peace

Saw a few snow flurries this afternoon but otherwise it was a sunny, above freezing day for a change.
Slo, sorry to hear about your husband's fall, yikes. That stuff truly scares me!!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi. Evening check in. All is well in the Kensho household. I skipped my mountain trip today due to a tummy ache, so got some relax time.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[MinStar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all. Happy Valentines all! The stories we have are crazy. Will be interesting to read if you find the thread Brydlady.
Keeping busy is the key. Hope your tummy is better kensho. Must be something in the air as I woke with cramps and dodgy tummy too.
Glad the weather is warming up. Cold here this morning but no where near what you have. NS you are definitely not alone.
Hope everyone is well.
MinStar

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Almost Friday.... I'm tired! I have the most important interview of my life tomorrow. It's the largest project I've ever attempted - and I'm also jumping off on a new adventure with a potential business partner. A good friend of mine actually - we went to college together for design. I tell you this because it's a little big and scary - but also because I know for a fact that I wouldn't be considering this opportunity if were still in the throws of addiction.

Minstar, sorry you felt yucky too. It passed quickly for me.

Lav, hello to you and the chickens.

Hi to Byrdie, NS (great posts lately - scary driving in snow!), Change, Slo, Hypernova, Starty, Belle, Pavati, LIFECHANGE (WHERE ARE YOU?), G-Man, and everyone reading!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Yes, those stories. Lav, I did get a complete set of home pilates DVDs once! Never opened them.

NS - I think that is the key. I did it myself, and I see people continue to do it here. We search for a WHY for our drinking, justifying it with some story of why we actually had no choice. The truth is that people who are poor, sick, mentally ill, depressed, lonely - all have quit drinking. That is the beauty in a sober community - you can actually hear these stories and not feel so alone. I felt like such a bad person and so weak for "letting" this happen to me. By meeting all of you strong, amazing women, it allowed me to see that there is no "fault" here, and that is beside the point anyway. I just need to live my life without alcohol, period.

Change, that flatness drove me CRAZY! Just keep reminding yourself that alcohol is not an option to get over it. You will, I promise. You may have to suspend your disbelief and plow forward. You got this...

Getting close to Friday, folks. Take care and have some plans for the weekend.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] - thanks so much for that beautiful post a few days ago. I always think of you as one of my Quit Siblings since we were originally both new here in early 2014. I wish I hadn't lost access to that first account (Wagmore) because sometimes I'd like to be able to go back and re-read those posts. I guess I could still do so by just searching for, well, me! The other me that is. Anyway, even though we both hit many bumps in the road since 2014 and we're not quite on the same quit calendar now, I remember being relatively new to the nest at the same time, and am proud of BOTH of us for how much we've accomplished since those days that are -- wow -- about 5 years ago now.

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] - great analogy from what must have been a white-knuckled drive. Sometimes we just have to put our eyes on the next target a few feet or steps ahead and stay focused--eventually we arrive at our destination and have a safe journey along the way. When I used to run I often used that approach--keep going until you reach the next tree/sign post/corner etc. Over and over I'd set the next target and before I knew it I'd strung a few miles together. Had I headed out the door with my eyes on the finish line, I might easily have turned around or quit at the first passing thought of doing so.

[MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] - all of your potential travel plans sound exciting! If you go to Texas, would that be Austin??? Quite the music scene there for sure.


Gotta run for now, but big hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. :heartbeat:

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I wish I hadn't lost access to that first account (Wagmore) because sometimes I'd like to be able to go back and re-read those posts. I guess I could still do so by just searching for, well, me! The other me that is.

Hi, Wags, you can find 20 "pages" of your posts here:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/search.php?searchid=619998&pp=

from 15 June 14 through 28 Sept 14. Does that cover most of your time as Wagmore?
Have fun on Memory Lane :smile:.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, there are a lot of flat spots in this first year, and learning to accept & even enjoy the mundaneness of life; just embrace the daily rhythm and find & create the gentle joys.

Congratulations to both of you, Change & Belle, on cruising along to over 2 weeks now!

LC checked into the roll call today so, even though she’s busy, her sobriety is intact!

Kensho, best of luck to you on your new, bold career moves! That is a real testament to the value of long term sobriety.

NS, and I thought drinking booze out of my coffee mug was so original! Ha ha

Lav, the ice is very scary. I have slipped & fallen twice on it now too, down onto my artificial knee yesterday, which really scares me. Otherwise just some little cuts to my wrist the other time. We go above freezing today though; much safer! -before the temp plummets again tomorrow and it re-freezes. Glad your chickens got a chance to get out of the coop!

Pav, I feel the same way: seeing that this addiction has happened to all of you strong, caring, capable, creative, high-caliber people makes me feel less bad about having it happen to me.

Hi to Wagmor, byrdie, Ava, Pauly, Minstar, G-man, & everyone too!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's a really interesting talk by a neuroscientist about what drugs do to a person who is 'wired for addiction': Fresh Air: 'Never Enough' Explains The Biology Of The Addicted Brain : Shots - Health News : NPR

She doesn't really address how that faulty wiring occurs (genetics, epigenetic changes due to environment, etc.???) but once a person is wired that way, what can be expected if drugs are introduced. She also tells a cautionary tale about marijuana, arguing than in some people, it actually is addictive.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Sorry I've been MIA this week.. I underestimated how difficult it would be to come home.. the jetlag, missing my mom soooo much, the lack of light and warmth, so many extra projects at work, a flat tire on my bike on the way to an appt. arghhh, our "Oma" falling down the stairs, etc, etc.. Crazy how often it's all or nothing! You'd think after 3 weeks vacation, I'd be up for it all, but all I wanted was to be alone.. I was a bit depressed. Now I'm feeling better and will take the time this weekend to catch up with all of you.
I haven't read back yet, but wanted to post before too much time passes. I just didn't have the energy to concentrate. It was all I could do to get through work and be halfway present for the girls in the evening..

I hope everyone is doing well.. and I do think of each of you every day..
Oh, I did read the first day, and no, G-man, I don't actually think of jumping off bridges! It's more looking over the side of somewhere high, thinking about what it would be like to fall.. :eek-new:
Hugs and love to you all!!!
thank you for the email, NS..:love:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody!

LC, I'm glad! Great to see you and top job all round.

Thanks for the link SB. I'll check it out soon.

Friend Kensho, how'd the interview go? I bet you guys are raaaawkin it either way.

Wags, i'm not sure where in Texas. It depends on a mate of ours and where his contacts are. Probably in Austin, but as the year moves forward, i'm not hopeful for my bands committment to a mid year tour. Either way, i'll be heading somewhere. There's no waiting around for others.

All's good here. Big waves to all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Gads, what a day. Glad tomorrow is Friday.
Kensho, I hope your interview went well.
LC, great to see you, welcome home.
I had a point to make but have forgotten it, dang it. Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie