Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

The first time my nest emptied, it was the final straw that eliminated any semblance of controlled moderate drinking for me. Things had been escalating before then, as addiction does, but I was not totally out of control. When both kids were gone, I stepped right into that existential void. It surprised me because I had other parts of my life that seemed to give it meaning and you kind of naturally distance from your kids as they move through the high school years anyway. I think the lack of witnesses and the loss of day-to-day parental responsibilities allowed my addiction to seize the reins. My nest will be emptying again soon as family moves away. It will be a big adjustment in many ways and I can see it causing similar problems as last time if I weren't aware of the situation. I've got my guard up and plans in place, which includes all of you. xx, NS

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, that story about your husband is crappy. I understand how hard it is to be married to the same man so long, so many difficult things happen. We will be married 28 years this year and have had our challenges big time. Its so good that you stopped drinking at him, why hurt yourself right? I get that.
Like Pav said, too bad you cant jog at him or exercise at him, lol. That made me laugh Pav.

Hmmm I probably have to Mari Kondo all my paper stuff and pictures etc. One day I will do that, maybe when I am dead. Just kidding

So I am going to Costco again, this is what I do when I don't have a job and it is -25 outside. At least I can go to a large, warm building and walk around. It actually is a good way to spend time with my 84 year old mom and then she can get a bit of exercise. Otherwise she does not go anywhere. Falling on ice is a big hazard when its so cold out.

Have a good sober day everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

lol Pav, thanks for the morning laugh. Yes i wish i could exercise at people or clean at them. I did the HALT and realised i was starving as well as annoyed so i ate and did feel better. I did want to go and buy a chocolate too but thought KFC first and see about the chocolate later. With my shin splints i wear one jogger with an inner sole and one without. feel a tad lopsided sometimes but works for some strange reason. i have two pairs of joggers, ones with inner soles and ones without. Sad when the hardest part of your day is to decide on inner soles or not inner soles!

LC i might do the clean up papers cull. i have a two drawer filing cabinet that i dont think i have opened in 8 years. bought another small one instead. it has all the childrens school work and memories. i know it will take me months but i think i may just do that.

Yep Nar i think that too, when i am dead i will cull the papers but it might be therapeutic and good for the garbage man.

Lav, how sad your hubs didnt want to go away and glad that you realised that you drank AT him. I would have gone away with you too!

Well today i am tracking down my job descriptions. how hard can it be in a hospital that employs over 10,000 people. VERY hard apparently. I do love this job as its mine and i made it but when a consultant wants me to do her work when she has a coordinator already was the last straw for me. now i am a coordinators coordinator. I have a meeting with the Director of Brain (doubt he has one) so that should be interesting listening to his spiel on why he hasnt produced a job description when i asked over a month ago and why i cant get any patients in for elective admissions and why nothing is organised. note to self, must keep my temper intact! How MOVING FORWARD things will change, if i hear that saying today i am likely to pop.

Mads is ok, carl is chewing my arm of literally, i have teeth marks all up my arms and he wont listen to NO. good thing he is super cute though.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

My day involved a not so thrilling almost two hours in the dentist's chair, yikes!
Apparently maintaining yourself at this age is a full time endeavor haha!!

Ava, I took to tossing a shoe (in the general direction) of my dog when she was doing stupid puppy stuff, LOL. That at least got her attention
I hope you get the answers you're looking for at work soon

narilly, I'm not proud of my response to being blown off by my husband but that's what happened. I knew it was wrong to try to numb myself like that but I honestly did not care. I lost all hope at that point & got pretty depressed.
I hope your trip to Costco was good!

NS, the empty nest thing is real & I don't think I was actually prepared. It would have been helpful to have support at home but that didn't happen.
I am grateful that we all have each other here to lean on when needed. :hug:

Slo, are you anywhere near where that big tornado was a few days ago? Geez, that was scary to see on TV.
Let's keep supporting each other by staying true to our shared goals here, right?

Pav, dreams are weird, aren't they? I actually had a drinking dream last week where I was SO MAD that a group of people I was with was screaming at me to drinking the glass of wine, HA HA!!! Like that would ever happen!!!

Hello to everyone else in the crew & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, all.
I ate AT my job today. I had chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips for lunch.
Glad this day is done and glad to be sober. Hang in everyone! Byrdie

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Feeling overwhelmed today. before leaving work, found out my son (3 hrs away at college) was suffering from some sort of pain in his molar/jaw/face which kept him awake with pain for 2 nights in a row. Got him to go to the health center where he saw a doc who diagnosed a gum infection (hmmm...perhaps I SHOULD have gotten his wisdom teeth out last summer?) and prescribed antibiotics.

then came home to daughter crying in her room. she 'did not want to talk about it'. it turned out to be a number of things, not least of which she wants a new iPhone. WTF crying over that? her phone is better than mine and hers is not paid off yet. she was also concerned about boyfriend who is close to failing a class and refuses to get tutoring help. and last but clearly not least...she is not looking forward to the intestinal 'clean out' process this weekend...and does not know what to tell her boyfriend about the fact that she will probably be on the toilet for the good part of 24-36 hours.

as if that weren't enough, on my way into the post office i noticed that a woman had tripped and fallen down. Turns out that I knew her, one of my son's high school teachers. Tried to help her as much as I could, but I was also dealing with the (at that time) unknown health issue with my son.

sorry for all the venting. I'm just trying to stay above water...or I should say above gin. I have decided it will be canned soup and frozen dinners tonight. I'm just not in the mood.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

((Hugs)) Belle,sounds like alot but good for you for coming here to vent it all out! That's what this place is for

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

That’s exactly what I used to do with my elderly MIL, Narilly: on Wednesday afternoons, my regular time with her, my focus was on getting her out & about, and not only out for lunch but to get her moving; so I would take her to stores where she could push the shopping cart around or walk through the large store. I really think it extended her life and improved the quality.

Ava, I remember my sister trying & begging for a job description in one of her corporate jobs, so she could understand & implement her role better, and without stepping on toes; but it never got written or in any way communicated. Sometimes I wonder what middle manager bosses are for, if they can’t do these basics.

Well, at least we’re eating at people and jobs from hell now instead of drinking at them!
And the empty nest can be SO abrupt & painful, especially without support and when not prepared.

I agree with Paulywogg that this is the place to vent your daily struggles instead of drinking at them. Thank you for sharing your troubles here, Belle.

I guess I better listen to the news more, Lav, as I didn’t hear about a tornado.

Every family has to donate one bottle of alcohol for the raffle baskets to support the boy’s & girl’s high school swim teams. THAT’s what we’re raffling off to support high school athletics?! I guess they know what people will want to buy, so the best way to have a profitable raffle.
My husband tried to hand off his deluxe package of high-end whiskey to me to drop off on drop-off day. Handle it yourself, Buddy!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle - What a day. An old G favorite saying is - the only way out is through. If you think about it, talking about poop to a boyfriend when you're a teenager might just be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! That's why they generally save colonoscopies for us old people.

Ava - I'll bet they're glad you're in that job keeping track of everyone and everything. Maybe you could write your job description as a "draft" and share it with the Brain at the meeting? Then he could present it as his own - win win. You ARE brave to take on a puppy.

Nar - I imagine you spend a lot of time in CostCo and malls in that weather. I don't even know how you go outside. We're "freezing" here because it stays in the low 50s (F) (just looked up - 10C). But really, we don't have good clothes or insulation in our homes, so we're bad at "cold."

Byrdie - chocolate ice cream might just be right for your day. Onward and upward and a big hug from here. xo

I am getting ready to go away for a long weekend with some very good friends who live all over the state. One of them is the friend with whom I first got sober. She did a little "moderation" time and is at two years now, so we have each other to hang out with. The other three will drink wine, but no one's getting plastered, and we laugh so much when we're together. I am very excited about the trip, and will be leaving my computer at home, so after tomorrow you might not see me for a couple of days.

Stick close. For those of you wandering away, come back! We can help! xo

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning check in.

Belle, hang in there! Some days just need to be put to rest. I hope today is better for you.

PAV, where to you go for a girls weekend... a VRBO? Sound fun.

SLO, I think it's totally inappropriate to use wine for a high school fundraiser. Ug!

I hope everyone has a good day. I'm off to the city again to review concepts with a client and hopefully sell her on progress - I need to move forward with this project!

Take care everyone.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good day, nesters (was going to be good morning...but I'm past that). Thanks for listening/reading my vent yesterday. Sitting here and typing it all out was much better for me than wandering the house looking for AL. I decided I was not cooking and husband was expecting pasta dinner. too bad. Son sounds better this morning. I now think it is the fact that he gets too lazy to brush his teeth sometimes. I hope this experience taught him a couple of good lessons.

Daughter seems better today and will be going with boyfriend to get his hair cut after school. still don't know how to handle the poop issue. maybe I should take her out of town...to my dad's house (dad is deceased but we kept his house) and let her poop out there. except it is not close to good doctors, etc. if there is some complications.

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION]...that sounds like a wonderful getaway. I scanned past an article on FB this morning that said something about how 'mom cations' are a good thing. Geez...what genius thought up that fact. unfortunately it has been 2 years since I had some time like that.

[MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION]...I love eating AT work. we baked home made bread last week (in toaster ovens) while boss was away.

[MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION]...Costco overwhelms me. I started going there just to use the photo services when my son needed large format prints for his portfolio. I got the cheapest membership. I'm not a good shopper. Wish I was.

back hurts so I guess that is the end of housework for the day...too bad.
for fun today I will wax my mustache. whoo hoo. what do you do for fun? 😂

Hi to everyone...Ava, Lav, G, pauly, Slo and everyone else that is in this 'hood.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

How is it going Wags, thinking of you and SO.

Pav enjoy that time away, i think i need one of those getaways shortly. I am going to do my own job description definitely. i have done one but need to add on to it.

Great work Belle on not drinking, last night i was sitting with the feck its and wanting a smoke after 40 days. this morning i woke up and thought i am just going to buy a packet but then i thought i will wait till after work and see how i feel. stress and stress for me. i put on my patch and came to work. the need isnt as bad so i will plod along. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

The good news is my meeting went well, i have the Director on side with me with testing for patients which will infuriate the village idiot to no end but i wont be bullied by him and it interferes with my work which is draining. i am also getting a pay rise so have another meeting next week to go through everything with my lovely direct boss and go from there.

We have Costco here but its miles away and as there is just 3 of us in the house and i hate cooking its not viable. i wish it was around when i had 4 growing children though. i am a great fan of Aldi, that middle aisle where all their bargains are is just fantastic.

going to be a balmy 36 today and a few warm ones coming up.

Hi Pauly

Take care, where are you LC?

xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great news Ava. Keep cool mi amiga. Great work on the cancer sticks.

Alcohol is responsible for many cancers too. Many! I was talking with an older woman boozer about this fact the other day. She said she didn't know. I encouraged her to seek out further info.

It's thursday morning here. Work today. Only a few hours. I'll be jumping into the bay this arvo to cool orf.

Hi Belle. All the best with your daughter. For fun today i'm a gonna jump into the sea.

Big waves to evabody. Take it easy out there.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Almost made it thru the whole day without someone causing my blood pressure to go thru the roof.
This is a hostile workplace, I've decided.

I was snoozing last night when the smoke detector started chirping. It needed a new battery, so up we got up to change that....got the ladder out, etc. The high pitched chirp made the dog go outside. So after everything was done and we went back to bed, I had trouble getting back to sleep and after 45 minutes, I realized the dog was still outside (chilly out there, too, 38*) so I go out and start calling her. She finally came in. Took forever to go back to sleep. I'm pooped.

Had lunch with a former customer today, that was nice. She says she is allergic to AL, so I've always wondered if she was one of us. Anyway, that was the highlight of the day.
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening. Byrdie

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!! Boy if my intentions were to stop by here daily I have failed miserably. I am committed to remaining AF though. I am sure that stopping by and posting/reading would be a great thing.. Right now in the throes I would guess of winter blues and low energy and high anxiety. Never has been my favorite time of year b/c this is usually how I feel unless drinking to 'lift' my spirits. Anyway I am plugging away and today is day 58. I am trying to learn how to accept life and the way things turn or don't turn out. My feelings of anxiety and sadness are overwhelming and rather than trying to drink them away or run from them which is what I have done my whole life I am trying to sit through them and be okay with whatever I feel and also realizing that nothing is forever. Tomorrow is a brand new day and maybe I will feel better. Wishing everyone a safe and AF night ~ hyper