Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back, @daisy145. You must have loved the sober time you had since you're back and ready to get there again. xx


@available, you are living proof that recovering from addiction doesn't mean dragging yourself in a circle back to where you started. You are growing up and out into the person you deserve to be.

It doesn't happen immediately, of course, but each time you take one of the boxes off your shelf and deal with it, you move up, out, and around, expanding your life and those of all of us who are privileged to know you. If we could all forgive others, and especially ourselves, the way you have forgiven your uncle, we might find the freedom and peace we all are looking for. Someday when you're ready you'll take that box labeled "Dad" down and and deal with it. You might spiral up and out of sight! :hug:.

[Mick]

Re: Newbies Nest

daisy ...welcome to you ...long time no hear ...you can crack this

[Mick]

Re: Newbies Nest

daisy ...welcome to you ...long time no hear ...you can crack this thats how confident I am ..I wrote this twice...

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome back, Daisy! I hope you settle in and stay for a good long while.

G-man, massive congratulations to you on achieving 6 MONTHS AF!!!!

I agree with what you were saying a couple posts back, G-man; that the crying that we do while drunk doesn’t seem to clear out the emotions for some reason, and we just get stuck and crying over & over about the same issues, like spinning our wheels while digging them in deeper.

Ava, I admire you for the sober work you did clearing out the negative charges on old emotions, and so being able to handle that visit with the fam-damily, including the molesting uncle. Well done!

Lav, that is fun that your young granddaughter likes acting on the stage! You may get to have lots of plays to attend while she’s growing up!

Have a safe night in the nest, all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

G Man, congrats on your 6 months! Guard it with your life! :llama: so proud of you!
Daisy, welcome back. Weren’t you attending AA? I hope you are able to get back on track, we’ll be right by your side.
Ava, what a story. I admire you in so many ways, this is just another one.
Made it thru the day without telling coworkers to go to hell which is becoming a real feat. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome back Daisy! Settle in this sturdy nest, you know what to do

Ava & Pauly, I am so sorry to hear your stories. That trauma is horrible & dealing with the pain afterwards is rough.
For the life of me I'll never understand why a grown man would inflict such pain on a daughter, niece, neighbor, whatever. I was surrounded by dirty old men as a youngster & I'll never forget or forgive them, They simply don't exist to me anymore. Be proud of yourselves that you have healed & moved on!

LC, good to see you popping in

Hi there Slo, Byrdy & Mick & everyone!
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyonez I was about to respond this am and ended up with major computer problems. Such a headache. Trying to save my files now before having to reinstall everything. Ug. Not happy... and I was the one who caused it. So not my best day. I would definitely love to escape right now and alcohol crossed my mind. But I asked my dog and my daughter for a big hug and feel somewhat better. I KNOW that nothing will change if I were to drink. Nothing would get better or magically be different.

I’ll try to find some time tomorrow to drive away from the neighborhood (get terrible WiFi and phone at our house... which is making the file recovery torturous). There was so much I wanted to comment on. But for now, I’m thinking of you all and wishing the best.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Happy to be unhung again this morning. I've made the commitment to myself once again to come here and read and post before making any bad decisions. I'm going through all of the beginning steps again, not overthinking things, not wanting to talk too much.. more wanting to focus all of my energy on being in the moment and on DOING what I plan.
Every time I make an "experiment" with alcohol, I'm thrown right back to where I was, to where I don't want to be. The amount of alcohol really doesn't matter.. eventually I know it would be even worse than it was a couple of months ago.. but even if I'm keeping things more or less "under control", there is no control. I only begin to feel ok about myself as a person AFTER a significant period of time AF.. if I drink, I feel so badly about myself that I can't stop. I can't see that there's a good person underneath, my attitude becomes, why bother trying to change, it's too hard, you'll never make it, you never do what you say you'll do, you can't follow through on anything, etc., etc. That's why it takes me so long to get back on track. It takes so much work to get back into a space where I can ignore that part of my brain, or listen and let it go, to find gratitude for the small things, to see the point of it all. Just today, after a big fat struggle, I feel like I'm back on track.
G-man, big Congrats on 6 months today!
Love to all of you..xx

[daisy45]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone and thanks for the welcome back.
Ashamed to even show my face but have to put that to one side and get the job done!
I was going to AA and done really well. Loved it at the start but things happened and I found a few people using their position in underhand ways......ended up not knowing who to trust.
That was almost a year ago and I have been on this merrygoround of start/stop since then. Sick of being sick!
So nice to see my old friends still here.....

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Available - You ARE an amazing person. I'm sorry for what you went through, and so admire your attitude. I think your sober memoir should be on my bookshelf next to NoSugar's sober advice book.

Pauly - I'm sorry for what you went through, too. Another strong woman in our midst. Take care of yourself. Tony's adorable.

Lav - Counting down the days to 10. What an accomplishment.

LC - I'm SO glad to see you checking in. As NoSugar points out, needing to quit isn't necessarily about amount, but how alcohol makes you feel. It sounds like it makes you feel pretty bad about yourself. If you sit down and think about it, you're an amazing woman. Single mom, career, foreign country. Plus, you have empathy and care for others - Andre, the "grandma," your parents. Taking care of yourself is not selfish - it is key to being able to take care of others. You got this!

Daisy! Welcome back. I'm sorry you've had such a tough year, and sorry people betrayed you. Settle in here in the nest - as you know, a great place.

Mr. G - 6 months! Wowzers. Onward and upward.

Nar - +1 Hah. I've done my fair share of hungover yoga. So glad to be doing sober yoga now. Wish we could meet for a class...

Slo - I was at the party for about three hours - my husband stayed another three! The host passed out on the couch in no clothes (he was in the hot tub) - a grown man! I am so glad I left when I did, which was when people started drunk close talking, and repeating the same stories. It was good to catch up with people, and many of us left with our dignity...

Hi to everyone! I LOVE the switch to daylight savings time. I can't believe we live in that darkness 4 months out of the year. Now it is light again when I leave work, and I have a significant mood improvement. Phew.

Happy SOBER Tuesday.
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav,I think I'll love it when my body gets used to the sleep thing,more daytime is a good thing waves to all!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Well i am having a much needed break from work. Thanks everyone for your kind words, i always think there is someone worse off than me and that brings up a lot of grateful that i have the life i have. Since meeting my uncle i have been chatting a lot to my cousin and hopefully we are going to catch up in a couple of months. lots of childhood memories for us to both enjoy and talk about.

NS i am unsure about my father, he would be 83 today, i am not even sure if he is alive to be honest. The freedom is exceptionally wonderful and i know i would not feel the way i do if i had kept drinking.

Pauly, i call my father my piece of sperm as i dont believe he deserves the title of father. After my uncle raped me i never used the term rape as i felt it was my fault as i was drunk but over time, he did rape me plain and simple. But the positive is i have forgiven him and he has not drank in 25 years, we did talk about our al issues. he had apologised years ago for this and i said yes, as really what could i have done except destroyed the family further by going to the police, so i suppose i used the words forgive but could never know if i felt it or not. The good thing about meeting him after being sober is knowing that i did forgive him. i was a bit angry at him but he recognised that and when i got over that it was fine. I think my anger mainly comes from losing my father and not knowing what could/would have been over the years. I had my daughter with me for support as my children know and are a great help. I think with time Pauly you will forgive yourself, you have to, whats done is done and cant be undone and feeling at peace is pretty good.

G, happy 6 months to you. cant wait to celebrate your one year.

I have lots more to say but have to get ready to go to the vets with mads and carls. this is going to be like taking a toddler out shopping.

i will be back. take care and enjoy that +1 Nar (that vid still makes me smile when i think about it).

xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, all. I think I made it through another day at work without blowing a gasket, but it was close. Apparently, there is some BIG company news and they want all hands on deck for a meeting, they want all the remote people to go to our nearest branch. Mine is 4+ hours away, which typically, wouldn't be such a big deal, I could go over and call on customers and work in the area. The meeting is May 16 from 3-5pm. On May 17th, I'm flying to Chicago for a trade show. So that would put me driving 9 hours in one day, attending the meeting and getting home at 10pm the night before I have to be in Chicago for 5 days. I told my boss I wasn't sure if I could do all that and be at my best for Chicago. There are 4 of 6 of us in this same boat. I'm not 25 years old anymore....I just don't think I can do it. We'll see what he says. Whatever this big company news is, it can't be good. I figure we've been purchased by another company or our privately held company is going public. Both will suck, I've been thru both of these scenarios and it involves 'Right-Sizing' and consolidating. Oy. I'm sure I'll be the first to get cut since I was the last hired. Whatever, I'm not sure I even care.

If I can get thru this soul-sucking job sober, I know it's possible to stay sober thru anything. One day at a time. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pauly and Ava, my heart goes out to you both. I can’t even imagine the pain all that crap brings. So glad you are sober now xo

Hello Daisy! Welcome back, you know the routine, you can do it.

Byrdie, I hope the news doesn’t suck. Yeah, all that driving, that’s crazy.

Pav, it’s interesting how we have the same sorts of experiences when we were drinking. We probably did everything hungover .

Way to go G, 6 Months!! Yippee!

Hello Lav, it’s snowing here but is supposed to be above 0 all week, yes!

LC, I know you are having a hard time. Keep after it. Persistence is the key, don’t drink today <3

Have a good one everyone.

Don’t drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was sunny & 50 degrees today - woo hoo!!!!!
I hear some rumors about a possible snow/rain event next Monday, haha!!

G, wishing you a very happy 6 months AF :welldone:
It's such a good feeling ~ keep it going.

Byrdie, that company of yours sure tries to get blood out of a rock, ugh.
"Rightsizing" is such a ridiculous term but it could be a real blessing in disguise. Thinking of you as always :hug:

Narilly, anything above zero is good, LOL

Ava, I hope your trip to the vet goes well & you get to relax a little afterwards.
I think it's wonderful that you were able to come to terms with all that stuff - you are a better person than me. My ability to forgive is limited. I may forgive someone but then I never want to see them again.

LC, talk to us about stuff when you need to of course. We are willing to listen & not judge. Glad you are feeling better

Kensho, I pray for your computer files, ugh.

Hello Pauly, Pav, Wags & everyone.

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav