Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, another un hung morning, yeah!!
LC, glad to see your posts. You are doing great, keep it up

Slo, happy your sister is doing well.

Byrdie, you made me laugh. Love the pickle guy.

hello Pauly, NS, Daisy, Lav, everyone, I am in a hurry...off to yoga so I will post later.
Ava, give those dogs a hug for me. Pav one of these days you will get a dog.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo,I only spent one summer with the sperm donor,when I was 7,my father(who I consider my father) came into our lives when I was 8 he's the one who raised me and I consider my dad,hes one of the good guys sorry for the confusion

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yo fam! W'dup.

Thanks Wags. How's the missus? Pauly, there's still some good mojo 'round this joint. Look at Pav's life. Wouldn't surprise me if she was a regular in the gossip columns given her party schedule. Sheesh, everytime i turn around she's off to a social event of some sort.......:congratulatory: (Pav. i wrote i was flat out working like a lizard drinking. lol)

Great news for your Sis and you Slo! It looks like she has been very lucky. Let's hope she can understand that and run with this new opportunity to live. I think i have been spared on a few occassions and i try to remember this and be grateful for this gift of life. Take care over there.

Ava, re your love of walking. Have you been to MSAC in Albert park? Try the big outdoor pool for walking/swimming. It's a nice open vibe.

Big waves to y'all. Off to strum a geetar with some folk.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

WE were blessed with another beautiful day, so nice. Tomorrow will be a rain day but that's OK.

Slo, that's great news about your sister. She is very lucky, blessed. I hope she continues on the sober path & has a great life
You must be feeling a lot of relief too.

Ava, I've been wanting another dog since my big dog passed on nearly two years ago. I don't think I have the energy for a puppy though, maybe something a little older & looking for a fur-ever home. Good luck with Mads & Carl.

LC, glad to see yo stop in & I hope things are looking brighter for you soon :hug:

Hello to Wags, Narilly, Pauly, G, Pav, kensho, Byrdie & everyone. Daisy, where are you?

I'm sneezing my head off after spending time outdoors today & yesterday. Probably allergies & taking Zyrtec 2X/day as suggested by my allergist is not helping.
Another side effect of aging? Probably, LOL

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!
TFIF, right?

Slo, I was so relieved and happy to hear of your sister's positive outcome with the surgery and findings.. I really hope she'll be able to take this as a new chance for a different path.:hug:
Lav, I am beginning to feel better mentally.. physically, my digestive system and my left shoulder blade aren't impressed with my new health routine :happy2:.. but I'm taking care to take care.
big hugs to all of you, Byrdie, NS, Ava, Pav, Pauly, Nar, Kensho, Gman, Wags, Daisy.. I'm sure I must be missing someone..
Have a nice Friday..xx
This is giving me something new to "obsess" about and I figure (as it isn't in any way restrictive, so to say) it really is helping my mental state.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all--

Lav, we've been having beautiful days here, too, and my allergies are also kicking in. I feel like I have a cold all the time, and eyes are so itchy. OTC meds help somewhat, but I might move on to something stronger...

Wags, good to see you pop in. Hope all is well with the students and the surgery.

Nar, sounds like a great day.

Hope all is well in everyone else's land. So funny, I don't feel like a party animal G, at all. But I guess I do get out some. Seeing live music tonight, and hosting a few people for dinner tomorrow. I won't drink, and I know I'll feel fine in the mornings. I am so grateful for that!

xo
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all,I'm on the allergy bus too Pav and Lav,ears itch inside like crazy,stuffy nose and leaky eyes makes it hard to put eye makeup on this too shall pass,hope everyone has a fab AF Friday!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest Friends! It's been a weird week. Blizzard kept kiddos home for two days. PAV, I got snoozeville and it never ceases to amaze me how happy I am when I get sleep!!! I seem to need 9-10 hours a night for best functioning, and my world doesn't usually allow that.

I got my files figured out, didn't lose anything. Just stress. It DOES seem like many of us are hitting extremes - good day, crazy day, bad day, fabulous day... back and forth. And when NS is having drinking dreams.... well, something's going on! Not that you aren't allowed NS, but I have not heard you mention that before. Some kind of volatile energy in the world right now.

And G-the-MAN! 6 months!!!! Way to go my favorite sober fellow online.... I am proud of you! I really appreciate your honest introspection and humor about this whole topic. You are doing the work friend, and you seem solid. High five!!

Slo, glad your sister is ok - you must be so relieved! I'm sure you have high hopes for her recovery with alcohol. As someone said, it's her decision. You are a good role model though - and that's all you can be.

Watched my show last night, and the fella is still back at drinking. And he's being an ass, and lying to everyone around him, risking what means the most to him. It reminds me how quickly I would be right back at lying about my quantity, abut why I want to go here or there, sneaking to refill bottles, etc. I know that drinking would, unfortunately, go right back to that bad, bad place. Because one drink is not enough for someone like me - I would have to hide the amount that I would want to drink.

It actually crossed my mind last night that if some particular event happened in our future, a BIG event... I almost said out loud to my husband, "If that happens, even I will take a shot!" I was thinking of it as a comment of how relieved I would be and how much I would want to celebrate the event. But then my thoughts started running... could I really have a shot for that? Would that be something to look forward to? What would happen if I did? How would I feel? Blah, blah, blah..... And then we watched this show and I remembered that I know exactly what would happen. I would turn in to a lying, obsessed person who dislikes herself. As NS reminded me once, it's not the QUANTITY that makes the alcoholic, it's the OBSESSION.

So, I won't indulge those thoughts any longer than they take to run in and right back out of my mind.

Have a good weekend Everyone!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Great news about your sister slo. Im amazed her liver is ok. I hope they didnt tell her that as if it was me i would of been like, well nothing the matter with me then and off i would go drinking. That al brain is amazing at telling us what we want to hear. I didnt have a blood test for ten years as i didnt want to be told how bad my liver was or that god forbid my dr would know i had a problem.

Pauly, one summer was more than enough to spend with your sperm donor. Like you, my mothers third husband was the man i call my father, he was a grandfather to my children and loved my brother and myself. A beautiful man whom i loved dearly.

G, i am still trying to figure out what the MSAC means, is it the big pool dooby thingy? Do many people get there? i really would like a 50 metre pool to myself. I would probs go after work as its close by at 1.30pm ish. If its what i think you mean that is. Wow that was a real woman sentence that one ha ha.

Lav, i would definitely go an older rescue dog, i tried to but it would have been easier to adopt a small child. Mads is now on Tramal once or twice a day, i can see that she is deteriorating and its breaking my heart but i can only love her more. she has been with me for so much, sober and drunk. if she could only talk, or maybe not!

NS, unusual for you to have two drinking dreams, too much stress at the moment maybe?

Kensho, i used to say that i would drink if anything super stressful happened but its not my go to now so i know i wont. I have the tools to not drink and boy have i had some events that could have made me drink. I know when i lose mads that i wont drink, she would never want me to have the life i had before, my friend robert made me promise i would not drink because he died. Nothing is worth that drink into hell again absolutely nothing.

My son is home so i am carl quiet this morning and its bliss. having a cuppa then going to go for a lovely long walk and start the day. no plans after that except maybe some housework but i just seem to keep looking at it. The weather is cooling down, slippers on in the morning, cardy also. i do prefer winter i must say though its soooo dark.

Take care xxx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The rain we were promised never appeared so we got to enjoy another lovely, allergy ridden day, haha!!
I've always had a touch of allergy symptoms at the change of seasons but it's never been this severe. I wonder what's going on?

Ava, I am ready for an older dog, just need to talk my housemate into it, LOL
I'm glad that you are able to keeps Mads comfortable & you're right in that she wouldn't want you to drink :hug:

NS, about those two dreams - forget them, they're just BS!
I have them too even after all this time. I figure my very deep seated fear of being out of control again is responsible for the dreams. Don't fear because we don't drink, right?

LC, so happy to hear you are coming out of your funk. We're just human & we have low times. Thank goodness they're not permanent. So what's your new eating plan all about? Granny Lav here needs to shed some serious winter weight.

Pav, hope you have a good weekend!

Pauly, my allergy twin

kensho, I only wish I could sleep like I did as a young adult. Seems like such a looooong time ago, LOL
Hope your weekend is good.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi All,
I know I have been a bit MIA this week. been dealing with a situation with my son that is gutting me, and right now I don't even know the details, but let's just say I've enlisted a lawyer to be safe. He does not know anything he did 'wrong' but did some stupid things. does not involve substance abuse, etc. or theft or murder or you name it. we meet with lawyer on Sunday and the authorities on Monday. I'm scared to death and wish I could drink myself to death sometimes. but I won't because he needs me. and I need me.

I drove 3 hrs each way to bring him home from college today for spring break. I'm exhausted I love that kid to the ends of the earth. and if he has messed things up by stupid teenage boy behavior, I do not know what I'll do.

but I haven't drank. can't really eat. sleep is difficult.

and I just haven't had the energy to log in here. but I need to. because I need the support that will be there when I do say fuck it and consider picking up the bottle

sorry not so upbeat but just wanted to check in as one of the living. everybody has something...but let's not let it make us drink.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, and thanks for all the very kind wishes and also insightful comments RE my sister. It is true that the ball is in her court as to whether or not she keeps this quit going after discharge from the hospital. Which thankfully won’t be for awhile yet. Ava, I agree; I hope her AL brain doesn’t take that surprisingly healthy liver the wrong way either, as in “my liver is indestructible!” The numbers are not perfect on it, even if it is visually healthy.

Belle, sorry you have gone from a stressful situation from one child on to the other. You’re doing the best thing you can do by role-modeling that we don’t drink over these situations, and also letting him learn from his own consequences.

Pauly, thanks for reminding me of your happier ending; that you did end up having a nice stepdad after that horror. You too, Ava.

Wagmor, I’ll have to DVR that show (“This is Us?”) and give it a go. It comes on right when I leave to pick my daughter up from dance class. But not for long, as she will get her drivers license in a couple months, then won’t need Mom anymore. I watched “A Star is Born” last night, about an alcoholic (& other drugs) man also. It was realistic in that it showed how his painful childhood with a lack of nurturing and with an alcoholic parent contributed. What a beautiful movie! Beautiful voices.

Happy weekend, everyone!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - the situation with your son sounds stressful, whatever it is. Sorry you've got that on your plate right now but definitely keep the mindset of not drinking - you do need to be there for him and drinking will impair that. Hugs.

LC - sounds like you're turning a bit of a corner. You've got this.

Kensho - I love what you said near the end of your last post - it isn't the quantity, it's the obsession. Yep, even that one shot you spoke of, which sounds so innocent on a quantity scale, well we all know that one shot would have far different implications and ramifications for all of us than for a non-alkie. Let's face it - if any of us were actually capable of having one shot and then walking away, at least some of us would probably be doing that. It just doesn't work.

On a different note related to another part of Kensho's post, the thought of a shot as "celebratory" is something I've realized I've had to reframe, and I think I've managed to do it. There are a few events that, if they unfold, I will damn sure be celebrating but it'll have to be without pouring poison down my throat! And that will be ok - I can dance, shriek with joy, hug people around me, jump up and down, eat ice cream, play music, skip through the streets... the list goes on and on (and is fun to think about) - I just can't drink, and I can't buy into the societal notion that imbibing a toxic liquid is somehow the way to express the relief and pure glee that comes with major celebratory events.


Hellos and waves to everyone passing through the nest today. Happy weekends to all!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags...I loved the part of your post where you talked about ways to celebrate "without pouring poison down our throats". Yes, who ever came up with the idea that poisoning ourselves was a good idea? Where did that come from? I love your list (especially the ice cream part). I'm happy that things are going well with your wife's recovery. hopefully things are starting to become easier, and/or you have a good routine for her care.

Slo...thanks for the support re my son. Yes, it is is time he learned that stupid teen boy things have consequences, and especially when you are 18 and considered an adult. I just pray that the consequences are not too harsh and don't derail his life. staying a good role-model by not drinking should be foremost in my mind. I'm trying to stay calm (even though I am freaked out inside) since we don't know all of what is up yet.

Ava, it is so hard to watch our older and dearest fur friends go downhill. I am watching that with my sweet Piper now. she makes messes in the house all the time. She walks poorly and falls asleep sitting up, like my grandparents used to do. All we can do is care for them and show them the unconditional love that they show us...until they let us know it is time. and...Carl is so adorable!

Lav...I love being outdoors and I am fortunate to not have seasonal allergies, except for minor eye itches once in a while and I have never connected it to any particular thing. Sorry to hear the allergies are making your life miserable right now.

Hi to everyone else. I'm feeling a bit better this morning after a good nights sleep. I changed the lock on the front door so those damn GSR brothers cannot get in any more. And so thankful to be un-hungover this morning and able to think clearly.

and lest I forget....CONGRATS G-MAN ON 6 MONTHS...THAT IS HUUUUGGGGEEEE!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

MAE, All:

I'm scared to death and wish I could drink myself to death sometimes. but I won't because he needs me. and I need me.

Belle! This is so powerful. That is the point that those nest moms are always trying to make. You need to put on your oxygen mask first in order to help others. Doing what you need to stay sober is NOT selfish - it is an act of kindness and love towards yourself and towards all who love and need you. Sorry about your son, and I hope you get it all straightened out. As you know, my son is a freshman in college also - they don't always make the best choices... He texted me a 6:30am to say the fraternity kids had woken the whole dorm up as they were on their way out to "celebrate" (drink!) for St. Patrick's day. He was pretty grossed out by it which made me feel good. There was information about some boys urinating in public while drunk and being charged with a sex crime for indecent exposure. So many things that can go wrong! I'm sorry those kids have gotten the message that in order to have fun you need to have alcohol.

Yes, I no longer want to celebrate with a shot. That feels so great. I really, really love being sober and present in all that I do. Right now I am tired because I stayed up late watching live music, but I am not hungover, so my day is completely different than it would have been 5 years ago. I am so grateful to be in the situation I am in.

Off to face the day - housecleaning on the docket, and cooking some corned beef.

Happy SOBER Saturday,
Pav