Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m stuck home sick so I also watched a star is born yesterday and this one today: gettinggracethemovie
It may be one of the best movies I have ever seen. Addiction plays a role, but it isn’t the whole story.
It is extremely sad and I almost guarantee you will cry but it is ultimately uplifting and hopeful. Plus, it is laugh out loud hilarious in parts.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi. Belle, sorry you're going through something difficult with your son. That place of "not knowing what's up yet" is tough. Hang in there and plow through; you'll build on the strength you already have. You're doing great.

I think I need to hang around her a bit more. I've been craving the small slice of what I liked about alcohol lately. I know it would wreck me, and that it is not the answer. But I'm having trouble just letting go. I've gained so much stability and perspective and ability to stay focused on work that I am feeling stuck in this continuous existence of do, work, plan. I've become highly practical and - not that I want to be stupid - I would like to throw caution to the wind a little more and just release. Let go. Be impractical.

One of my favorite memories is being in Costa Rica with my husband and being on a loosely-regulated trail ride on horses. Our horses were frisky and we were at the head of the pack. We decided to run them back to the ranch. Like RUN. Full-on gallop, like the wind. We had no permission - we just looked at each other and said "f-it, lets go". And it is one of the best memories of my life. I felt like I was flying. I don't want to be stupid, but I want to live a little more; let my inner rebel out to play. And though alcohol was not a part of that memory, it often helped me feel that way. Alcohol helped me let go (until the prison it put me in kept me anything but free). How can I learn to LIVE with a little more excitement, less seriousness, less structure and let go? If I can solve that, I'll be in a good place.

My thoughts of alcohol right now are scaring me, and I need to solve this problem in a different way.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

I get those thoughts Kensho,you wrote it out perfectly, sometimes I do miss that "letting go" feeling too

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Belle, thinking of you and your teenager son. I drank through mine and i highly advise not to do that! I was there for them but then i wasnt and if i could turn back time that is one thing i would redo in my life but they have grown up to be gorgeous kids (most of the time). I hope he has learnt his lesson and i am sure he will appreciate fully you being there for him fully. Some kids dont experience that with parents sadly. If you make it through the teenage years you deserve a medal or three i say! How old is Piper? Its breaking my heart to watch Mads now, i know there is no happy ending in this. Carl is a terror and adorable terror!

Slo you are sounding less stressed and thats a positive and lucky for your sister she has you as a role model. keep telling her how great sober life is and she can see you living the dream of sobriety many of us dont achieve.

Kensho, please watch yourself, you drank at 8 months before. Sobriety never finishes for us, we are never cured, ever. The more time we have away from al the more secure we feel but there is always al waiting for us if we dont work on our sobriety. Every day i log on here, everyday i am in contact with my sober support who are my dearest friends but every day i am subconsciously accountable to stay sober.

Pav, i no longer also want to fall back on al to help me, i know i can go and talk about my feelings and get support, i dont need a bottle to communicate with anymore, i have people friends!

NS i hope you feel better soon, vicks on your feet and socks.

So sad about the shootings in NZ, its scary to see that it is so close to Australia. Anywhere in the world it is scary but you seem to realise that yes it can happen in Australia also. I told my mum i was meeting my cousing in a few months for a weekend and she said "well i hope there are no mosques there". Well mum i am sure i will be googling that one! Today i am going to do some cleaning and maybe go to an op shop, though looking at my wardrobe maybe not. We are having some lovely mild weather which is a pleasant way to head into winter.

Take care x

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all.
Ive been at a trade show in Dallas, we finished up this afternoon and I’m beat.
We had two sessions yesterday, the later one was from 5:30 -7:30pm. There was an open bar. As soon as the doors opened, the attendees made a bee-line to the bar, it was like flies at a picnic. One lady came by our booth holding a glass of wine, she said ‘you need a drink! Relax!’ I said, ‘Im working, and this is as relaxed as I get!’ She said, ‘I’m going to bring you a wine’ I said, No really, I am good’ Then.I went in to my pitch, I figured that would run her off and it did. She wanted to party. Then I ran in to a guy that was a vendor at our last Subway tradeshow. I worked that show with a 26 year old. He said, ‘She got SO DRUNK’. Yikes, she really did. If she isn’t one of us I’d be surprised. I know one thing, I don’t want to be known as THAT person who got ‘so drunk’. Then finally, at dinner, we were ordering and the waiter said, ‘Let me bring you a wine tonight’. I must have really looked tired for all these people to push the booze on me like they did. I tell you, if I didn’t have a strong support system (YOU) it would have been easy to say, what the heck! If I hadn’t read the thousands of stories every single day about the destruction that AL causes us, I might have caved. It’s hard to be different,but it is a matter of life and death with me. I do not want the obsessive thoughts again I don’t want my marriage to end. I don’t want to lose me again and above all, I don’t want to start over. I never want to crave AL again.
Today as I unwind from it all, I am so glad I’m still sober. I’m going to go to bed shortly (7pm) and get up at 3:30 in the morning. It will be good to get home.
Thanks, everyone, for giving me the tools to survive this booze fest. Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go being true to yourself, @Byrdlady :hug:

I must admit, I am kind of amused watching servers try to figure out what to do about a person who declines a drink. The more professional ones are of course really smooth and gracious but others don’t seem to know what to do in that situation (Which is pretty ridiculous given all of the people who don’t drink for one reason or another).

@KENSHO, I’ve been thinking about your situation. I’d encourage you to try acting how you want to act and how you think alcohol used to make you behave. All of the ways of being are already in you. Alcohol just removes your inhibitions and lets you think about things differently. But- You can think about things differently anytime you want! You could’ve broken those “rules” on the horse and gone for that wild ride without a drink. Your thinking about rules and what “good” people do can get in your way.

I’m not suggesting we all do the hurtful and risky things that people do while drunk and then somehow manage to blame on the alcohol. But we can try to relax some of our ideas and beliefs ourselves, not needing alcohol to do it for us, and maybe have a little more fun. xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

A little chillier today but not bad for the middle of March

Belle, I sure hope there's nothing serious going on with your son, who needs that? Staying strong for him (and yourself) is vital.
18 year olds are not really kids anymore & have to be prepared for consequences. I hope it's something very minor that won't affect his academics. Hang in there!

Pav, I haven't thought about celebrating with AL for a looong time. I tend to go with food & you can tell by my expanding waistline, LOL

NS, sorry you are sick! I wish you a speedy recovery :hug:

Pauly, Ava, Kensho - hello!

Byrdie, hopefully that will be your last trade show. Well we can hope, right? Have a safe trip home!

Still sneezing but not quite as bad today. This is going to be a long allergy season for me, ugh.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good job Byrdie. You rocked it lovely lady. Get hone safe!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, way to go, I am glad you survived the booze fest. Ya, its funny to watch other people do the same sh-- that we did when we were drinking. ugh

Hey Ken, I get it how you miss that little piece of what drinking did for you but as you know that is a very elusive feeling that we only have for a short time and then we drink our faces off trying to find it again.

Lav, NS hope you get better soon. That movie looks really good NS, where did you watch it, on Amazon Prime?

Yeah Ava, that shooting was devastating. I imagine it has had a big effect to the people of Australia. So sad in Canada too.

I went to a retreat today and we did yoga, meditated, went for a walk in the forest and had great food. It was a nice day and the weather was good. I am well rested.

Anyway, I am watching hockey night in Canada with the hubs, Calgary is playing, woohoo! Its a tradition in Canada to watch hockey on Saturday night.

Don't drink today.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
Just got my younger daughter off for a week long class trip. We had to be at the train station at 540 am which seemed mighty early!
Now I'm going to watch Getting Grace.. thanks for the recommendation, NS. I hope you're feeling better soon!
Hugs to everyone, Kensho, Belle, Byrdie, Ava, Pav, Pauly, Nar, Gman, Lav, Wags..xx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m so glad you’re going to watch it, LC! Maybe we’ll need to have a movie discussion thread :smile:. I rented it on iTunes, Nar. I think it is on other platforms, too, but unfortunately not Netflix which is the only one I subscribe to.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Byrdie,did you use your IBS alibi? That's one of my favorites of yours tbh I think I'd be so full off all the Subways I'd be too damn stuffed to even look at al! When I posted I had thoughts like Kensho was describing yesterday I wanted to go back and delete it cuz I don't like saying stuff like that out loud, it makes it too real,I do have the thoughts sometimes but not all the time and usually if I do I remember how damn sick al makes me,there's my reality! The carefree,letting loose effect of al left a looooong time ago,it only makes me a tired,sloppy,irritable slob now,that's the truth for me now but I'm cool with that cuz it's a great detterant(can never spell that word!) Happy St Patrick's day, gotta find a green shirt so my 6 year old g-son don't yell at me,have a fab AF Day

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Kensho - good on you to talk about your feelings. There are many stages to relapse before the actual drinking, and one of them is romanticizing drinking - remembering the "fun" times. The stages are emotional, mental and physical. Emotional is when negative thoughts and emotions seem to come up more often. You may not even be thinking about alcohol. The "cures" for this stage are exercise, being with your sober people, talking to a trustworthy person and practicing other self care. The second stage is mental - one starts romanticizing alcohol, and remember that it used to help them get through tough emotions - remembering alcohol as a great escape. Drinking is idealized. The last stage is the actual physical relapse. (I used to have a better link but I can't find it - everything I can find now is an advertisement, but this information matches what I used to post other than the advert at the end.)

The good news is - you don't drink. I'm sure you'll find other ways to be carefree and have fun!

Pauly - I think getting those thoughts and feelings out is good, no matter how rough. Like NS's drinking dreams - we all have those thoughts and feelings - it's what we do with them that matters.

Byrdie - it does get exhausting sometimes when people are pushers. I had a guy who would NOT leave me alone trying to serve me a shot at the 50th birthday I went to last weekend. I practically had to tip the booze over in his face to get him to go away.

NS - thanks for the link. I think stories like A Star Is Born are good reminders that alcoholism is a disease - there are things that drinkers are willing to sacrifice for the drink that they would never give up if they were in their right minds. In the Rain in Your Heart docos on YouTube there is one where a woman loses her kids for drinking - something she would never do otherwise. I'll check out that movie.

Lav, I celebrate with food also!

Gotta run. Happy SOBER Sunday.

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy St Patty’s Day everyone , I am grateful to wake up feeling good and there will be no green beer for me today.

Yes, I celebrate with food too. I love cooking and eating! The retreat I went to yesterday in the mountains had really good food. It was all fresh and delicious.

Thanks NS, I will watch the movie.
Yeah,Pauly, AL made me SO sick, I am so grateful not to wake up sick anymore. The escape was never worth it?

Have a great day.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Your retreat sounds so relaxing, Narilly, with “forest bathing” in a beautiful nature setting and an abundance of fresh food. And yoga!

Thank you for thoroughly explaining that romanticizing the drink is an early step on the road to relapse, Pav. We need to be alert & aware.
And we need to be honest about where we are on here too, Kensho. I too miss being able to let loose with the aid of the drug alcohol when in a drinking setting. Like I’m not excited about my daughter’s upcoming wedding this Summer because I dread having to go through it sober. There; I said it. But your example, Kensho, was a non-drinking example of cutting loose, so that’s cool! There are other ways to feel carefree.

Well now I feel blessed to suffer no hay fever or allergies, and I’m not sick right now. Hope you all feel better soon!