Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning!

Narily, you’re so right about that feeling being elusive. Good reminder. NS, I actually WASN’T drinking for the horse ride, which should serve as a good reminder that free, fun feelings can be attained without alcohol. I just have lost my ability to let go. I also thought of trying to act how I thought alcohol made me feel... very good reminder also, thank you. PAV, thankfully you are my sober people to tell me things I need to hear. Thank you all for listening.

LC, that IS early! Think of how much daytime you’ll have left!! My daughter woke us up at 9:45!! I love sleep but dislike having shorter days! Now I’ve locked myself in the bathroom to be able to check in, as it’s sometimes the only place I can get alone time on weekends. And I’ve been interrupted twice already.

Thinking of you all today... hope it’s a good day/night, and less sniffles for LAV.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Love your horse riding story friend Kensho. I went riding a couple of months ago. Something i really enjoy but don't get to often enough. Lucky i've got my guitar. Speaking of which, a nice weekend had strumming. People even clapped and...........they paid us. The bar service is nothing short of outstanding. I have a small jug of water plus a fave non AL drink delivered to me upon my arrival every week. The singer gets his jug of beer refilled on stage when he runs out. This ain't typical mind you of every venue. I'm loving the attention while it lasts!

It's monday morning so off to work here, but a quick check in beforehand.

Big waves to evabody. hope your weekends are going fab. L8tr g8trs.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Back home at last. Lav, I’m really considering just pulling the plug before the next trade show. Our hotel is further away and not connected to the convention center.
Kensho, when I go to a party, I just ACT tipsy, it works. Plus, I can draw the line before I say something really stupid (usually) and I can remember what I did. I do notice that my tolerance for the duration of a party has greatly decreased. After about an hour and a half, I’m ready to go. AL is the quick fix, no question, but whatever is revealed when you drink is there when you don’t, just have to work harder to find it. I’m perfectly capable of making a fool of myself sober! Oy.
Hope everyone has a happy St Patty’s day. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good St Patrick's day
I'm not even a little bit Irish but I still like the day.

Our social obligations are very few & far between anymore. I think we spend most of our time with family & that always involves the grandkids. Spending time with the kids means I can act more like a kid myself & that in itself is fun. They don't need AL to have fun & neither do I
I am meeting former work friends for lunch tomorrow but none of us drink, we just catch up & have fun being ourselves. I think the longer you are AF the easier this becomes, really. So hang in there everyone, you'll get there too soon enough!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Have a good lunch LAV! Start of a 4-day work week here. We leave Friday to visit Santa Fe NM and then Phoenix for a week. All I can think of is sleeeeeep! It’s with the in-laws. Little pressure to drink any more, but definitely judgement around eating. My gluten/dairy-free choices will have them all up in a tissy, I’m sure. They think it’s somehow elitist to eat better. I’m just avoiding what I know causes me pain. I would eat chocolate croissants all day if it didn’t hurt me!

Anyway, happy Monday all.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, I hear you. When I quit I was worried/dreaded an annual vacation we take with friends that was still 8 months away. The advice I got at that point was to take it one day at a time. I had no idea how I'd feel then, so why worry about it? That's the sober paradox to me. You have to both take it one day at a time, and know that it is forever. It turns out that it was much better than I could have ever expected. There were a couple of awkward moments (because of the newness of my sobriety to the friends we were with) but mostly it was a non issue. I never thought that could be possible. You'll feel differently than you do now this summer. Of course, this isn't a straight line. I really think you'll have fun, remember the wedding, and end up very happy to be sober through it.

G - sounds like you had a great gig. You SHOULD be treated like that...

Kensho - I understand that feeling you get when people are suspicious of you when you don't eat something. My husband's family think I'm crazy sometimes (although I seem to have thrown most caution to the wind these days...) It is a perfect time of year to go visit the desert. I think you'll encounter many wildflowers this year.

Byrdie - Yes, I , too, can make a fool of myself sober. I hope you never have to do another trade show for those people again...

Off to work. Happy Monday. I have already heard from several staff members that they aren't going to make it to work. All are good reasons, but it makes it very difficult for those of us left behind.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - glad you were open and honest about your early thoughts about drinking, or about the '"cutting loose" part that drinking seems to bring. As others have said, you can reframe the "rules" so to speak and let yourself go a bit without al being part of the equation. That might just take practice.

One thing I've done that helps when the romanticized side of drinking tries to pull me back in is to remember the whole package drinking brings. Instead of letting my mind ponder just the parts of drinking that appeal to me (less inhibition among them), I remind myself that choosing to drink ALSO means accepting the regret, the feeling like crap, the lying/hiding, etc etc. I don't let myself only contemplate the parts I think I liked or that I miss. It seems to work every time, as I am never willing to pay that high a price for whatever allure al has.

Byrdie - glad you survived another trade show, and great job deflecting what sounds like a stream of al offers. Maybe treat is as a sociological experiment where you are the observer-researcher?


I'm so saddened by the terrorist act in NZ. Sickened really by the whole "fear/hatred of other" mindset that seems to be holding the world (especially the US, but elsewhere as well) in its grip. One of my long-time friends lives in NZ and it has been wonderful to hear his firsthand report of how the citizenry and the govt there are responding. I need to seek out more stories that give me hope for humanity, because the ugliness of these times can become overwhelming.

Well, it's another Monday so off we go for a week of teaching and shoulder-healing. Have great starts to your weeks everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, you won't find that glimmer of hope for humanity if you've flown lately. Yesterday, there was a tremendously long line at the security checkpoint and some lady went ballistic because she was missing her flight. I guess that's why they tell you to be there 2 hours ahead. I thought security was going to intervene, she was dropping the F bomb all over. None of her ranting improved the process or her position in line. At the gate, there was this distinguished lady waiting on our flight to Atlanta, she was among the first to board, she got up from her seat and left an empty water bottle and bag of trash in her seat. I thought 'WHAT THE HECK??' Then when I got to my home airport, I was waiting on my bag at the carousel...standing there like a normal human being , and some guy just steps right in front of me...he wasn't chasing his bag either, he was just an ass.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Quick check in post for me as I crawl into bed.. it's only 8:40 but I'm so tired.. my daughter said, that's what happens, mama, when you get up at 5! so very true.
Hope everyone has(had) a good Monday. xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LC i get up at 4.15am and i am so tired by 1.30pm lol. this is why naps are good. i average 4 hours 15 a night and thats not good either. Im just not a good sleeper. Start napping girl.

Had to take mads to the vets last night, her heart condition this time. changed her meds so will see what happens. will have a talk to my vet on friday as i cant keep her alive for me. Its hard when she has two major issues wrong with her. it was funny though when the vet nurse called her geriatric. so i dont have a senior dog i have a geriatric one. At least she is eating today and drinking so that is a positive.

I was going to pick up my daughter on the weekend and had my mobile in my lap, there was a knock on my passenger window and it was a policewoman saying to pull over as i had my mobile on my lap. This is my life i thought, i wasnt using it, i dont use my mobile but .... She asked me for my license and saw mads on the floor, asked her name and i told her it was maddison and she was 16 and had cancer. The policewoman said that she lets one person off a day and i was it. Well i just burst into tears and sobbed. I think someone doing something nice for me just sent me over the edge. Now i cant stop bloody crying. So when i thought my life could not get any worse this lovely lady made my day and it was a $500 fine. That can now be spent on vet bills.

Working from home now but just about to take mads for a walk, she loves her walks.

take care xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh Ava, that was sure nice of the police woman. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time with Mads.

Whenever I have thoughts of drinking one of the things that runs through my mind is 'could I only have one?' and the answer is NO, one if Never going to be enough for me because I get that feeling and just want more, more, more until Blackout. I don't miss that at all.

Life, have a great sleep. 5 am is early, I was awake at 5 because my hubby and son went snowboarding but I went back to sleep after that.

Airports bring out the worst of humanity Byrdie. I can't imagine travelling as much as you do. I hope the rest of your week goes better.

Hello Wags, Pav, G, Lav, everyone.
Don't drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,,

Just a quick hello from me. I have my grandsons overnight & have to get up early to take them to school. They may end here tomorrow night as well. That's what happens when both parents are out of town on business. Glad I can step in & be helpful

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Solid advice, Wags, to always remember ALL of what alcohol does to us, and not just some of what it does to us (the good parts). Like what was said on the Annie Grace podcast that I was just listening to: Alcohol TAKES more than it gives.

Byrdie, I agree: it’s too hard to be worked to death at this age, because we can’t bounce back like a 25 y/o can.
The next trade show is the one right before the big company meeting in May? I hope you do cut the cord before then...but I still really hope that those two outstanding deals get wrapped up and you get the payouts from them before then! If not? -c’est la vie.

Glad you had a lunch out with friends today, Lav. Lucky boys to have Grandma Lav there for them!

So Saturday night is the standard hockey night in Canada, Narilly? Here the people into sports (like HB) are heavy into March Madness basketball.

Ava, it makes ME want to cry that you finally caught a break, and feel that you don’t catch many! Poor dear Mads melted her heart. But, you deserved to be let off because you weren’t doing anything with your phone anyways.

Thanks for hearing me, Pav. Maybe I WILL feel differently by this Summer! I will have a year in by then. It’s encouraging that you still had fun in your drinking situation that you were anxious about! I can only hope it won’t be as bad as I think it will be. And if it is? Oh well; it’s just a day or two.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], I didn't drink at either of my kid's weddings but at the first one, it was by sheer force of will because I wanted to be totally present and not to have any doubts later about what I did or did not say. I was very aware of my "not drinking" until the dancing started and then I had a blast. I loved not having to worry about stumbling or people thinking I was being wild because I had drunk too much. Too bad I didn't learn my lesson that night because my problem worsened over the next few years. By the time of the second wedding, I was comfortable in my AF-ness and enjoyed everything about the event. When it comes to dancing, I'm paradoxically less inhibited when I've not been drinking!

Reading all the responses to [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] about being able to relax and cut loose like alcohol seemed to let us do, seem to have a common thread: drinking actually allowed us to more or less happily participate in something that is truly fun for about 90 min but then becomes mind-numbingly boring if sober. At this point there is no way I want to cash in any of what's left of my time on earth in a haze or participating in activities or conversations that no one will remember. So while I believe we're capable of doing anything sober that we can do after drinking, the question is - do we want to?

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Reading all the responses to [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION] about being able to relax and cut loose like alcohol seemed to let us do, seem to have a common thread: drinking actually allowed us to more or less happily participate in something that is truly fun for about 90 min but then becomes mind-numbingly boring if sober. At this point there is no way I want to cash in any of what's left of my time on earth in a haze or participating in activities or conversations that no one will remember. So while I believe we're capable of doing anything sober that we can do after drinking, the question is - do we want to?

I guess that’s the problem with a wedding is they are so LONG! I will definitely be sober for the wedding part; it’s the reception that gets so long and is such a drinking bash. I drank through D1’s wedding reception last year after being dry for 3 weeks beforehand due to knee replacement surgery; I drank through D2’s weeklong destination wedding last year after being dry for 3 weeks beforehand due to back-to-back illnesses; and I drank through D2’s back-at-home reception last summer after swearing off alcohol for a couple weeks beforehand. And they were fun! I just don’t have a good track record with these. But I WILL be sober for D3’s...just not looking forward to it sadly. But sometimes when expectations are low then things turn out unexpectedly good!

Guitarista, I hope you have more gigs in that venue! You’re being treated with respect there, and appreciated. What kind of AF drink is your favorite?

LC, you too-early of an early bird! My daughter had to be to school by 6:30a the day after Daylight Savings Time started -so which then felt like having to be there at 5:30a. She was tired. Thankfully HB drove her.
How was your school run today, Lav?

My twin sister is being discharged from the hospital this evening to a physical rehabilitation center. I hope that lasts for more than a few days!

Have a safe night in the Nest.