Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check in after a long day. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Granny Lav is doing OK here, so far, haha!! Looks like I am keeping the boys again tonight since neither parent is home yet.
They generally like being here so they have been pretty cooperative overall. Everyone got to school on time too. Repeat tomorrow I guess

Slo, to be honest - both of my kids were married in 2006, three years before my quit. I definitely didn't make an a$$ of myself or anything but I also didn't really enjoy either wedding. The primary reason was my out of control anxiety. Sadly it took three more years for me to get serious about quitting for good. But, once I did the anxiety slowly disappeared during that first year AF. I have a feeling you will be in much better shape by the time the wedding gets here. Keep an open mind

NS, I found doing something sober felt like an exciting 'new experience' for me. Probably the way we were meant to be feeling all along, if that makes sense.
I had NO idea who I was going to be as a non-drinking, non-smoking adult. I figured I could shape myself any way I wanted to at that point

Hello to everyone else here & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
I need to go talk a couple of slightly stinky boys into the shower, LOL

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Monday everyone.
SLO, I am glad your sis is out of the hospital. What a relief.

Today I spent the whole day taking care of MIL, helping her shower taking her to the doctor. She is not in very good shape, I hope I am in better shape when I am 80. She used to drink a lot with my FIL for their whole marriage which was 60 years. They drank everyday and would go through bottles of crown royal and red wine every week. I wonder how much that has effected her health. She only has one kidney, hysterectomy, had lung cancer, has celiac disease, and she fell last week. It is amazing she is even walking. Her breathing is pretty laboured and her circulation is bad. Holy crap! Like I said, I wonder how much of this is from drinking so much for so long. My FIL died two years ago and I wondered the same thing about him.

Hi Granny Lav
NS, Lav, SLO, I will definitely be sober at my kids weddings.
Byrdie, tomorrow is hump day, you can do it!
You too Pauly.
Anyway,
I have a job screening interview I have to get ready for so I will check back later. It is with a company I really want to work for so please send good wishes!
xo

Hello G, Pav, Ava, Daisy, everyone.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Just been for a lovely walk with mads, this pram is certainly getting its moneys worth. Mads was in ICU last night. Its not been a good couple of days but she is home now. As she has cancer and congestive heart failure its hard to figure out what is giving her more problems. i think it is the heart failure but we will soldier on. i thought i was going to have to make that BIG decision of which just made me cry all day. As long as she is not distressed and is happy to be with me then life is good. she was just beside herself when i picked her up today.

Slo, the last wedding i went to was my nieces and we were the best partiers when we got together, i spent most of the night outside and i had one waiter who bought me drinks as i trusted no one. So many people telling you that you can have just one, one wont hurt. Maybe not them, it will kill us. Now my niece is getting married again in Bali and have just flatly said i am not going, resorts and lots of cheap alcohol are not my idea of fun. One wedding was enough.

Good luck Nar with your job interview, my fingers and toes are crossed for you.

Nothing else to report here, working from home and loving not getting up at 4.15am. i did manage to get in this morning to do some things i needed to do. everyone has been lovely and understanding at the moment.

Belle, how are things going with you and your son?

Hi to all. Take care x

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi All,
I'm here to be accountable. I drank last night. I drank to try to disconnect myself from the world. The situation with my son is eating me alive. We did meet with our (his) lawyer who spoke to the fbi on my son's behalf. Knowing what the real issue is, should be a bit comforting because it is something that I know my son would never do. but the stupid things he did do with his friend put him on the radar for the crime that is being investigated. I am still gutted. because he is 18, I was shut out of all of the meetings. of course I was the one who had to pay the retainer. the not knowing was the worst, but even now, we are in kind of legal limbo to see where they are going next with this .

anyway about the drinking. I had a good almost 2 month stretch going. today is the first day of spring. a good day for a new start and a Day 1. I tried watching a movie to detach myself from life (Roma...strange movie), taking the dog out, cooking dinner, etc. I should have come here. lesson learned. I did not drink a whole lot but it does not matter. a little is the start of a slip down the rabbit hole and I can't afford to do that. thankfully my kids were not around and I kept a lo profile and went to bed early.

I need to go to the toolbox and shop around. this situation is becoming more than I can emotionally handle, but yet I need to be strong for my son...who BTW is not worried now that he knows what they are actually after and he had nothing to do with it. yes, it sounds good on paper, but I feel that I am in a nightmare world (especially the day with the lawyers/fbi) and just want to disconnect.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - thanks for your honesty, and hugs for all you're dealing with. The situation with your son sounds very serious and I hope it is resolved soon with no impact on him.

Ava - so glad to hear you caught a break. Give Mads an extra snuggle for that one! Hopefully the police officer also realized that having your mobile in your lap is NOT the same as using it - sheesh!

Byrdie, Kenso and LC - hope you are all able to get some rest soon!


Quick fly-by for me today. All is well here and a sunny day to boot! Have fantastic days and eves everyone.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, keep coming back here. Just take it day by day so you don't totally overwhelm yourself. It is so hard when it is your kid, I understand but you CANT DRINK!!! Let's just get though today, you can do it <3

Well I just finished my on line interview, this is the first stage. I think it went well..we will see. I have been to so many interviews that I thought I did well at but then I didn't get the job so I guess I will just have to wait. Thanks for the good wishes.

Ava, Mads is the luckiest dog in the world, you are such a good mamma. I bet she is happy you are sober. Yeah, going to a resort with cheap drinks and the second wedding, no thanks!

Wags, it is sunny here today too. In fact, it is supposed to be the warmest it has been on this day since 1928. So crazy since we had the coldest February ever recorded. Talk about fluctuation!

Have a great day everyone, don't drink today.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

who BTW is not worried now that he knows what they are actually after and he had nothing to do with it. yes, it sounds good on paper, but I feel that I am in a nightmare world (especially the day with the lawyers/fbi) and just want to disconnect.

Hi Belle. Understandable response for sure. From what you say above, it sounds like your son is not in big trouble? Yeah, all of that 'officialdom' fbi questioning etc. must be damn scary. It must be scaring the pants off him too! At 18, maybe it's a timely lesson learnt if he's been mixing with the wrong crowd? Hope it all works out ok. Take care of you and be gentle on yourself. I bet you're a great mumma and you are worth it.

G'day Ava. Regard's to Mads and that other little troublemaker.

Good luck Narilly. Look at you - Great attitude, great person, sober living Goddess warrior woman goal kicker! Something good will happen at some point mi amiga. Good luck.

Hope all's going well there Wags. Yo LC. Hi granny Lav. Slo, hope your Sis is going ok.

Big waves to evabody.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, the good news is that the big deal I've been working on looks as if it's going to move forward. The bads news is that instead of them changing over the whole chain, they will be giving us stores as they come out of contract with their current vendor. Oy. So I can kiss the big commission goodbye because I'm not sticking around for the next 4 years to get it.

Belle, I'm so sorry you drank. Believe me, I get how you want to detach, I'm right there with you. I hope you'll do like I do....just say, NO, HELL NO, AL will NOT win this time. It works for me, anyway. Whatever it takes to stay sober.

Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie, are you saying that the big deal that you have put all of this work into is now moving forward, but you will never personally benefit from it?? Well, THAT totally sucks. As much as that job does.

Belle, good to see you back! The good news is that you only drank once, and came right back! Unfortunate situation with your son, but try to keep it in perspective by realizing that at least he isn’t addicted to heroin and charged with possession, or charged with giving it to someone else and causing their death...the kind of things many young people are getting involved in nowadays that can more permanently ruin their lives.

Narilly, so thrilled that you passed the first interview towards getting the job you want!
I wonder too if some your MIL & FIL’s health problems were caused by their heavy chronic drinking. It probably had an impact.

Oh Ava, it’s fraying your nerves not knowing when or how the end will come for Mads! I’m glad you can be home with her (and have more sane working hours besides), and the TLC with stroller rides is wonderful for her! -actually for both of you. I hope you don’t ever have to make the big decision, meaning I hope that she will just peacefully & naturally pass in your arms when the time is right. But not for awhile yet!

Wishing all a good evening.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Take care of you and be gentle on yourself. I bet you're a great mumma and you are worth it.

G-Man thank you so much for these words. They were just what I needed to get the tears flowing that have been stuck somewhere between my head and gut. It seems that I am always 'doing' for everyone else and don't feel like I always make the grade. Always wondered if I really was worth it as a mom. My kids are both adopted (from South America BTW) so I kind of always wondered if 'the gods' or whomever did not think me worthy to have kids "of my own" (of course, my kids could not be more my own). I'm never told I'm worth it, just taken for granted (or at least that is my perception). I needed this cry. :heartbeat: to you.

and taking care of myself means that I am too important to pour poison into myself, and bow to the AL demon.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Aww Belle, hugs to you :hug:
You certainly are a worthy person doing your best every day. Kids don't often show it until they are adults but they appreciate us. Without us what would they have?
I hope everything smooths out for your son. Be sure he understands that you don't have to bail him out of situations like this. You are choosing to do so & he should plan to work this summer & pay you back - that's only fair. Be kind to yourself, get rid of the AL & check out the tool box.

Narilly, great on the interview & I hope something opens up soon for you.

Ava, glad you have Mads back home with you

Byrdie, start planning your online bakery ~ please

We are childless here this evening, the grandsons are back home where they belong. Grateful that we had no major malfunctions this time around.
Happy first day of spring to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Goodnight everyone.
Big hugs to you Belle. My hubby is adopted and he loves his adoptive family very much. His mom always says she sometimes forgets which son is adopted. I Am sure your son appreciates you more than you know. Don’t drink today Belle, one day at a time.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, I appreciate it.

Goddess warrior woman goal kicker, I love that G! Thank you for that, lol. You are too kind.

Byrdie, your job keeps sucking more and more. I hope it gets a little better for you. Too bad about the commission, ugh.

Enjoy your childless evening Lav.

Have a good evening SLO, thanks for the kind words.

Have a good night everyone.
Xo

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Quick accountability check in as I run to work. It's been a busy week and I'm looking forward to some sit and do nothing time this weekend.
Big hugs to all of you..xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All--

Belle - sorry you drank, and sorry you are in such a stressful situation. I like Lav's take on it - you're there for him to support him. I think a look into the toolbox is a good idea. There's a concept of urge surfing that can be helpful, and many ideas about how to escape without booze. Exercise, meditation, a good hug, a guilty-pleasure movie, watching alcohol documentaries, a bath, reading sober blogs - those are all things that have helped me. Stressful situations will NOT go away - what needs to change, in this case so you can be there for your son, is your reaction to them. As G says, take good care of yourself - you deserve it.

Nar - Sending you positive thoughts. When will you find out. Your industry is stressful on its own! It is so nice of you to take care of your MiL like that. Relationships are so tough.

Ava - Mads is lucky she had her life with you.

I had a staff member confess to me that he is struggling with alcohol. He has been sober 4 days now. I was able to relate some of my story to him and be there for him which felt good. I hope he finds his way out.

My cousin unexpectedly came into town and over for dinner last night which makes that the 7th night in a row I have had something to do. I am going crazy for want of a night off. I have my mom coming for dinner tonight, and tomorrow is my son's birthday. I have work on Saturday, and I think I will collapse in a heap on Saturday night. Can't wait!

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav