Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, what is a forest bath? Are you flashing the wildlife over there? You give new meaning to Smokey the Bare. :haha: Hope everyone has a happy hump day. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick drop in to say Hello!

I have my grandsons here & they seem to have extra energy & attitude tonight. They are hyped up because they are leaving for vacation tomorrow. That means I get a week off too, haha!

Wags, glad you were able to help your dad. I had both of my parents with us from the mid 80’s to ‘98 when the last one passed away. I can’t tell you how many medical emergencies we dealt with - bless you.

Have a safe night in the nest & if you see Smokey the Bare - just look the other way, LOL

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

I made it through lucky 13! For some reason 13 has always been a good number for me. I made it through the war zone aka grocery store. I tried not to even look at the bottles, but stole a glance any how, they are on the same aisle as the more health snacks, go figure. I look forward to the day that I don't pay attention again. I did stop by the produce stand and bought some fresh corn, asparagus, strawberry and a quart of blueberries for $4! I know I have to get away from sugar but it helps right now. I made some blueberry scones for daughter and I and they were quite tasty.

Alcoholism is a strong family disease and sad to say both my brothers are tremendous alcoholics. One brother is in terrible shape and the other is headed that way. My younger brother called me drunk as h@ll last night, he had to put one of his fur babies to sleep and soon the other will follow, they were brother and sister. My heart hurt for him in so many ways, crying and making so little sense sometimes. I was never a drunk caller, I always kept my drinking to myself because of the antics I have seen in my family. Drinking in secret can be worse in so many ways. He helped me feel grateful for this second quit.

Hubby may be home early! His day went tremendously well even with it snowing all day in Maine and today just looks like a hang-around to make sure things keep working smoothly. He is good at what he does and companies request him constantly and will wait for him to finish one job to get to theirs. I am so very proud of him. Fingers crossed that he may be home tomorrow. I thought the weather would hold him up and carry this job over till Monday. Weekends without him are so hard.

Wags, I do hope you dad did get to come home. 88 is wonderful for a first hospitalization!

Ken, I do hope your presentation goes well. I remember those days, giving presentations to other teachers on something new. Funny how you can talk all day to kids and command the room and freeze in front of your peers. Observations were always tough too, I had to really try to ignore the elephant in the room, my principal. She was a terrific lady but was strict on classroom performance. As far as she was concerned every child that walked in our doors were hers and her kids only got the best.

Off today to work with the local ladies to plant some flowers and get my Easter Egg hunt assignment. It should be fun.

Have a great day all!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all, thanks for all the support and well wishes. My dad did get to come home yesterday. His situation looked pretty serious at first (meaning major surgery) but they were able to stabilize things and now we're in a holding pattern - if everything remains as-is, he can continue on. If the condition reverts, surgery will become the only option. In the meantime they discovered he is anemic and we have to see a follow-up Dr for some tests to determine why, the main concern being that this type of anemia can apparently be a sign of colon cancer. But, it can also be lack of absorption due to diet and even though my dad doesn't eat junk, he also doesn't eat much of anything with iron in it. So.... we'll be off for the follow up probably next week and take things from there. At 88 he HAS had a long healthy life and I know he'll be opposed to anything that artificially extends that (I've always known that).

Pav - I'd love to learn more about other ways of viewing death beyond the very poor approach we seem to primarily have in US Western culture. When my mom became terminally ill and passed, she was still relatively young (71) and had been a stickler for a healthy lifestyle, so her illness and death were a complete shock to all of us, including her. With my dad I know I'll still grieve of course, but he's had 88+ years and somehow it is easier to process whenever the end comes. All I hope for him is what we probably all hope for - a relative easy and comfortable passing without prolonged pain and/or illness. On a totally different note, I'm also very curious about the forest bath

Byrdie - teehee, "Smokey the Bare"

New Sunrise - Congrats on 13 and now you're at the two week milestone! Sorry to hear about your brothers, especially the one who called you last night. Losing fur kids is definitely rough, and drinking just makes it all worse IMO. Also great job in the war zone aka grocery. That is really bizarre that they put al and healthier snacks in the same aisle, although maybe they figure that means almost everyone will go there for one reason or the other? There is quite the art and science to grocery store product arrangement (all driven by money and other numbers of course). Fascinating and yet also kind of creepy and manipulative in some ways.

Lav - enjoy your spring break too!!!


Happy Thursday-into-Friday everyone, and thanks again for all your support :heartbeat:

There are just no reasons to drink that are not better reasons NOT to drink!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

“Forest bathing” is a Japanese term for nature walks in a forest.

Wagmor, it is creepy when people who try really hard to live healthy lifestyles die relatively early. I have noticed the phenomenon too in a number of people.
We had to bury my dad on his 69th birthday, so I know what you mean about how it’s harder to have a person die before you feel like they have finished a complete life span. And he had been doing his yoga & strength-training & walking so regularly and was looking pretty youthful. But he still died of prostate cancer.

“All I hope for him is what we all hope for -a relatively easy & comfortable passing, without prolonged pain or illness.” My FIL died rather abruptly last year at age 86 due to complications from a medical procedure, and while I feel badly that his life got cut off like that, I have to remember that at least he lived a long life, and the part that got cut off was very likely going to involve prolonged pain, illness, weakness, & numerous losses. So thank you for that comforting comment, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION]. And I do hope things go smoothly for your dad in his final years -like we all hope for.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Forest bathing is intentional being with nature and being present - it actually works to reduce blood sugar, blood pressure, and stress hormones, and is part of a national wellness plan in Japan. I, however, didn't forest bathe. I took my mom's dog on a walk with the intention of raising my heart rate - a beautiful day nevertheless.

Nar - what is the election vibe like there? Anything like it is here?

Wags, I don't have any specific resources, but I'll ask her what to read. One thing she and her group do is go have tea in cemeteries and commune with the dead more. They also have a "village" that helps keep older people in their homes longer but checking in on them, changing light bulbs, etc. She is an amazing person to be with - 77 herself and full of energy and enthusiasm.

Sunrise - 13 was Byrdie's big day, too. No looking back.

I have been thinking about drinking more these last couple of days - looking at it with rose colored glasses. In particular, I am reading about traveling and sharing wine with host families keeps coming up. I don't actually want to drink, but I know that glorifying drinking in the mind is one of the steps of relapse. I'll have to go back and read through some journals from the year before I quit. I can have water with my (non-existent) host families!

Lav - enjoy your week "off." I know those baby chickens need you in the spring, too!

Happy SOBER Thursday,
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Take off those pink glasses, @Pavati! Drinking is a dumb idea for everyone and especially for us!!

@wagmore, here are 2 books that I think should be mandatory reading for everyone who lives and eventually will die :wink::

https://www.amazon.com/Being-Mortal-Medicine-What-Matters/dp/0805095152/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=being+mortal&qid=1554997531&s=books&sr=1-2

https://www.amazon.com/That-Good-Night-Medicine-Eleventh/dp/0735223319/ref=pd_sim_0_24?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0735223319&pd_rd_r=dc150c43-5c70-11e9-8784-3d0308570a1e&pd_rd_w=fwQzV&pd_rd_wg=ZaYqf&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=2X62ZWBXJ72DAJEMCM8H&psc=1&refRID=2X62ZWBXJ72DAJEMCM8H

@New Sunrise, you certainly are entertaining us in the nest so I'm sure your neighbors love having you around. You have a great sense of humor! I look at Poison Central in the grocery store now and frankly am mystified by the hold it had on me. I remember how 'oh so casual' I tried to appear as I chose a bottle, hiding how desperate I felt inside. It is such a relief to be done with that mess.

Hope you got the job if you wanted it, @narilly and that your presentation went well, @KENSHO. I'm sure it was better than it would have been if you'd drank last night!! The evidence that is emerging re: sugar (and other elements of our processed 'food' diet) and several chronic diseases is alarming, isn't it? The links are becoming more convincing now that mechanisms are being identified. And like with alcohol, we're not hurting ourselves at all by not eating it. Humans do not have a daily sugar requirement!!

Good luck with your grandsons, @Lavande. I'm traveling with one of mine to babysit while his mom attends a conference. Yesterday was tough because I was still in itching pain but today seems to be going better. I'm so grateful to be able to do this, trust myself with a baby, and not struggle with the not-drinking each evening.

Said baby just started crying so gotta go. Hi to all the rest of the Nesters! xx, NS

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

New Sunrise, congrats on making it through the first two weeks! I do hope the weather & work doesn’t delay your hubby getting home for the weekend, since that will make your quit easier for you.

You know a lot about how to go about this from your first quit; like you know to use sugar as a tool in the first part of a quit -so the knowledge you gained from your first quit is helping you this time around.

Yes, alcoholism definitely does seem to run in families. Start with shared genetics and layer on epigenetic changes, then add in particular dysfunctional family patterns -and there you have it. I think my twin sister thought she was the only one of us six siblings to be alcoholic, but now me and youngest brother (if you ask me -he might deny it) have fallen into it too. I didn’t expect this to happen to me! But I should have...duh!

I have such admiration for all of you teachers and your ability to communicate, teach, lead, and command a room.

We sure couldn’t put eggs out for an Easter egg hunt here as we got a big snowstorm yesterday and everything is white again. But hopefully it won’t last as, technically, it is Spring!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, I have been having, not exactly drinking thoughts for myself, but more thoughts about how drinking is maybe a good thing? Like, yet another diet book that I’m reading, “The Longevity Paradox” by Stephen Gundry, purports that drinking, wine especially, in moderate amounts is good for you -better than tee-totaling or going overboard. And with statistics to support that bell-shaped curve. So many of these diet plans that demonize everything else keep alcohol in.
And also my husband is traveling in Germany for business, and is really looking forward to all the drinking that goes on in business travel, and loves the German beer gardens, and is happy to be traveling without being saddled with an AF wife....I just feel like a misfit.
But, I don’t really care as I’ve always been a misfit, and tried to fit in by drinking, and that didn’t work. So I’m committed to being AF even if I don’t fit in with the majority. People who didn’t smoke probably felt like this 50 years ago, and then the tide turned on that and now the smokers are in the minority, so I’m just going to go my own way on this and not according to the popular culture and not according to what the marketers are pushing on us.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

So many of these diet plans that demonize everything else keep alcohol in.

Because the authors want their books to sell :dread:

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Thursday everyone.

Pav, elections here are traditionally not like the US but they are starting to get a bit more nasty. It is weird to see the ultra right attacking the lefties and centrists. It is becoming more prevalent everyday. We have these Buzzfeed Media types harassing people, what a pain. We should be able to have a calm discussion and vote peacefully.

Thanks for the good wishes on the job everyone (NS). I know I will get one soon enough so I am trying to enjoy my time off.

Forest Bathing - Smokey Bare, haha!

Glad you got your walk Pav.
Wags, good luck with your dad. We just gave my MIL a walker which my mom had in her basement from my dad using it. It’s a good one so maybe I’ll keep it to use myself one day. Lol

Hey, have a great sober day. I am going for Dim Sum with my son and his girlfriend and my hubs.

Tomorrow is a BIG day for me. The Big Five! F’n rights!

:welldone:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

bit brisk this morning, TFIF is all i can say. 3 weeks today since mads died and i just cried all the way to work, it will get easier but the hole in my heart is still huge.

Pav, i cant think about drinking. 2019 hasnt been my year and a couple of times i have had that thought of "who cares if i drink or not". well there are a lot of people who care, even if i dont on occasion. I'm also up to day 11 smoke free and i am grieving for that loss also. not sure if its a good idea me not smoking now but there never seems to be a good time to stop any addiction really. As i did 5 years ago, i am just plodding along, one foot in front of the other. I do know i will smoke before i will ever drink but i dont want to do either.

Sunrise, i am so grateful i did not drink with the death of my two dogs this past year. god i would have drowned my sorrows and not been there for them in any shape or form. I have been able to grieve so much easier than if i was drunk. I wasnt a drunk caller either, could never remember what i said so no point. great work on 13 days.

Wags, i hated working in a hospital when i first started, all i seemed to see were very sick people and then found out they had died, young and old. I suppose i have hardened myself to death. My mum made me executor as she said i will always know when it is the right time if she does become sick. Now if an animal dies then im shattered but i was talking to my vet and she said she is ok with an animals death (mostly) but seeing her parents ill she cant handle. I suppose we all have our ways of dealing with death and life. I do believe if you have a terminal illness that you should have the right to end your life how you want and when but lots of different opinions on that one. My ex SO could not deal with death at all, closed down, didnt want to talk about it or deal with it and i dont think that is at all healthy. Glad your dad is home again.

Nar we have elections coming up but lucky we only need to listen to their crap for a month before we vote.

Going to visit mum tomorrow which will be nice, well it will be once we get there. it is a lovely place to walk so will be taking my shoes and disappearing for some quiet time.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunrise, once I hit Day 13, I KNEW I could make it. I had fallen so many times in Day 12, all I had to do was make it a little further and I’d have been over the hump.
Work was a b#tc# today. I came as close as I have been to telling these people F off! I can’t believe the new and inventive ways that admin and the project manager find to make our lives more difficult. I wrote back today, copied my boss, and said I’m so busy being asked to make everyone else’s job easier that I can’t do my own.
I tell you, if I weren’t strong in my quit, I’d be drinking AT these people. It’s so maddening and frustrating it’s all I think about. I have a call in the morning with one of the big deals I’m holding out for. We’ll see how that goes.
Made it thru the day, so I consider that a win.
Hugs to all, stay sober no matter what! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a much quieter day & evening here sans grandsons, haha!!
They were just a little too wound up for me yesterday.

Byrdie, every day AF is a win for us
I know you would never really consider drinking AT those people. Just keep plugging along & ignore them as much as possible!

Ava, I hope you have a good visit with your mom.

Narilly, 5 years AF tomorrow WOW! :yay: :welldone:
I hope you have a wonderful day & enjoy your hard work & success!!

NS, enjoy your visit with your grandson. I love them when they are little!!

Hello to Pav, Wags, Kensho, New Sunrise, Slo & anyone I'm missing.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest & I'll see you all tomorrow.

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just wanted to say congratulations to Narilly for making it through 5 YEARS of an alcohol-free life! Way to go! You know what they say about the 5-year mark: once you’ve made it that far, you’re likely to stay abstinent for good! Thank you for showing me that it can be done, and how it can be done, through big & small challenges.
Hope you enjoyed your dim sum meal; the nice thing about meals in those restaurants is they’re more centered around tea. And you’re out with your son’s GF who doesn’t much drink, so that helps too. Enjoy your special day tomorrow!



That’s it for me then.