Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Guilt is just the worst of emotions, and so unnecessary. And the thing is, no one can make us feel it. That is all on us.

I agree with [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], [MENTION=24351]New Sunrise[/MENTION]. Not going is a sensible choice for many reasons. Unless Easter is an especially important holiday for you and your husband, is being apart on that particular day a big deal? I think we often exaggerate the importance of particular days. I'm very open to celebrating any holiday with the people I want to celebrate with at a different time. For me, the "big deal" about Easter is what we eat. Because we are going to a brunch on Easter, I will make the ham, deviled eggs, and scalloped pineapple the night before because that is what my extended family really loves (and even I will have a bit of the pineapple because it is just about the best food ever!!!).

Another thing, [MENTION=24351]New Sunrise[/MENTION], I didn't tell anyone in my real life I was quitting drinking. Since I rarely overdrank with a witness, no one other than perhaps my husband (and I'm not even sure about Captain Denial) had any idea of the mess I was in. Everyone has just assumed it was another step in the continuing evolution of NoSugar, which in fact is the truth but this step was considerably more difficult than the others since addiction was involved. I'm more open about having quit now but I've never told anyone outside of MWO all the gory details. Sometimes when overindulging in general comes up, I comment that I tend to be all or nothing and on many things, I prefer nothing. They can draw their own conclusions. And if anyone gets up the nerve to ask, I will answer because I will assume they are exploring their own problem.

Have a good day, Nesters!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Byrdy, wowza! I love your post about meeting up with your bro. So cool. Good luck with the aircon install.

Yo Sunrise. Your weekend at home sounds like the sensible option from here. Look after number one which is you, then everyone else around us is ok.

I bet that hike blew out a few cobwebs Pav. Hopefully not a kneecap! haha. I should laugh - Mr running man.......I want to tackle a half marathon one day (21k's). 10 k community runs are a good favourite for now though. An actual full marathon would be great, but i'd def need solid prep. 10-15 k runs are more my speed. A cross country kind of 50 k event could be an interesting challenge. A straight out marathon would probably leave my joints with some stress given the constant pounding of the road, but a cross country run/hike event i reckon whilst a challenge, is probably more doable. I like the personal goal vibe of stuff like this. In the meantime, lot's of different music styles, locales, and people/performances ahead this week. If i was drinking, i would've said no, no, no to super cool events and people this week. Who knows? I might find a wife! Raaaawkin.

Take it easy out there. 216 days!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Carl is healing well and seems to not want to amputate a limb as much now when he sees me. he loves his nana and although he will never replace mads or rupey he makes me smile and laugh.

Sunrise, those thoughts of "i can drink" when you are alone are normal. It is up to you whether you do or not. I have quit smoking for 14 days now and i go to a smoking clinic. each time i go i always think beforehand that once i have seen them i am going to have a smoke as they will never know, the problem is i will know and that thought goes, its getting easier each day but has its moments. i am going to book into see a psychologist to learn how to deal with stress and not want to smoke. I need the tools in my arsenal.

Lav, i hope you and the chickens weathered the storm ok. How did hubs go with his melanoma?

Byrd, i am with you, my quit is my 150$ priority and this year has tested it extremely but lucky i have a great support network and MWO.

G, 21k marathon, that makes me tired thinking about it. I did go and get a program from the gym yesterday, this body is not going to know what hit it! I do have a gammy leg atm though so need to take it a bit easy.

well back to the grind of work, 2 more days till a nice week long break, much needed i know that.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, last Thursday morning I was getting ready in my makeup mirror and I spotted something NO ONE wants to see...a freckle that changed colors. This was came out of nowhere...it was DARK and had irregular borders, the whole works. My heart sank as I thought what I needed to do next. Dam, melanoma, I thought. DON'T PANIC. I took a deep breath and really looked at it. It was a spot of HAIR DYE from the day before! My scotts, it scared the white off my teeth! I think that took 10 years off my life even tho it wiped right off.
Makes you appreciate LIFE even more! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, I hope you are enjoying a cool house once again
These little health scares get harder as we age unfortunately. I accompanied the scared & grumpy old man on his doc visits today. He will be having surgery for one of the spots on his back - date not yet known. They will also be looking at lymph nodes which means he will be injected with radioactive dye that will be traced as it works it's way to the lymph nodes. Depending on the condition of the nodes, it (or they) will also have to be removed. At that point people are treated with immunotherapy (not chemo). All in all things could be a whole lot worse so he's lucky I'd say. I'd also say that if he had LISTENED to me years ago & had those things looked at we wouldn't be talking about all this stuff now. LISTEN TO A NURSE, haha!!

Ava, glad Carl is healing. I'm sure his perfect puppy personality will keep you smiling for a long while to come.

G, very nice on your 216 AF days, yay!! You seem to have your dance card full these days too

NS, Easter is about food here too, nothing wrong with that!

Hi there Slo, Narilly & Wags!

New Sunrise, don't do the guilt thing, it serves no real purpose. My husband & I worked weekends & holidays all through our careers. I worried about my kids thinking we were weird for celebrating Thanksgiving on a Friday or Saturday, Lol. Turns out they had no worries whatsoever. This is the time you need to take care of you. A few months down the road, when you are healed & felling stronger in your quit then think about taking a trip somewhere.

Pav, I hate to tell you but I lost my ability to sleep when I was 42 (think hot flashes & mood swings). 23 years later I still don't sleep well & I have no idea why. You just get used to it I guess.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest.

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all so much!!!

You are right about guilt NS, no one can make you feel it but yourself and hubby does totally understand. I just feel bad because he is away so much and loves when I travel with him, which I will get to do again. His company doesn't normally to offer to pay for my plane fare and that was kind of big. I am better off staying home. Easter is a big holiday to us but it is not a holiday that we can not celebrate apart.

He had a doc appt over his blood work which came back all good. On the way home he bought me flowers for Easter and a chocolate pie. He came in and said I seem to really be into chocolate lately and the oven timer went off, I made ammo brownies for tomorrow. We will have the pie for Easter. I will not go into the war zone tomorrow.

Thank you all for the support. I could not do this without you!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

New Sunrise you made the right decision and your husband doesn’t mind so it’s all good. No need to put guilt on yourself. That is one thing we do, over think things to death. That chocolate pie sounds yummy!

G, a marathon? You go Mister! What an achievement that would be.

We are off to have some Vietnamese food so I will talk later.

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

Well, hubby is off. We talked about all he has to do this trip and it sounds like the end of next week he will be home. Now to figure out what daughter and I will do. I am sure that something will come to us that we will both enjoy. No war zone today, but tomorrow is a must. I believe that I will pick up a turkey breast for Easter dinner. If nothing else, our kitty goes crazy over it and that is always entertaining. We know we have a chocolate pie too! Are veggies really needed ?:happy2:

I am not sure what to do with my day today. I was going to walk today but as daughter walked out the door she thought I should rethink that, the pollen is awful today. I have an azalea bush that really needs to be trimmed and the pool so there are some good outside activities. I seem to do better outside then staying in but Lord knows I have enough housework to keep me busy.

Avail, I was so wrapped up in myself yesterday that I didn't mention Carl. I am so glad that he is on the mend!

Byrd, that was so funny about the spot! I would do that in a hot minute myself.

Off to keep busy and sober now. I still have plenty of episodes of Frankie and Grace to watch tonight, so that is good. I am really loving that series and I am glad I put off watching it till now. It keeps me entertained.

A Good Day to All!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

New Sun, I love that series, too! It is very entertaining and doesn't take too much thought to follow! MY kind of show.
Yes, we are back in the saddle with the air conditioning, and now it has turned COOL out, so of course, I'm cold! I am thankful it's done and we are good to go. Now I need to have some serious quality time with a dust rag. Having the windows open for a week with this pollen you can just imagine what happened. I wish I could snap my fingers and have a clean house, while I'm at it, I'll wish I were rich and thin, too.
I'm in a tickling contest with a project manager at the moment, I think he just hung up on me.
Back on my head, hang tough, everyone! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Sunrise, no guilt! Self care is as important as anything - it isn't selfish, it is survival.

G - Yes, I'll be in your pit crew. No way I'm running a marathon, but I can CHEER loudly. I love a goal. Maybe I'll find one for myself.

NoSugar and Wags - yes, I , too, don't go into gory details about my drinking other than with my best friends and here. I think it still makes some people feel uncomfortable, and I guess those are the people who have their own questions. Wags, I live near a "peak" that is about 2K feet above where I live, so you can get some good ups and downs. This hike was more a loop around the middle, so not too much elevation.

Lav, that's a hard "I told you so," but dang, if I lived with a nurse, I'd LISTEN! I hope it all goes well.

Off to work. I have a dinner meeting tonight that I am NOT looking forward to. The group is an amazing group, but I don't know them well, and have had enough loud talk by the end of the day. I'll be ok, but glad when it is over. Have great SOBER days.

Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Hump day today in Ausland thank god. Having some lovely weather so i cant complain and an evening walk is just glorious. Wont be long and i will be walking at the gym instead of outside.

Slo, how is your sister going? Is she still not drinking? I hope so.

Byrd, you are funny, a spot that wiped off. Wish mine did that but i will be a regular at the skin cancer clinic for life now.

Lav, i am not a sleeper either, 6 hours is a major sleep in for me but i do enjoy the mornings especially without a hangover. i still cringe at how i could possibly have done that for 10 years.

Carl is getting back to his normal chewy self, i told my son we need more pain relief to slow him down. he bit my lip yesterday little shite. i will be taking him for a long walk this afternoon. nearly time to post a picture too.

back to work, take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Not ready for a marathon yet if ever Narilly, but a few 10 ker's and maybe a 21k on the radar. Thanks Pav!

Distraction via some TV/Movies is often a big help in this caper Sunrise.

P.S. I just got a text letting me know a friend is struggling with AL and wants to stop. She's asking for help which is a great first step. I'm so glad i'm strong enough, level headed enough and capable (to drive, talk, support) enough to be there and help her get whatever support she wants/needs. Another win and cool thing about being a sober living, ass kicking, heavy metal, trend setting, breaking the mould, can do, man for all seasons, capable, dependable, trustworthy, man of my word mofo. But before i git too full of myself, let's see what i can do to support my friend in taking back her precious life.

Just a quick fly by. Big waves to y'all.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

My sister is doing pretty well, Ava! I spent more time at her apartment this morning cleaning out the filth & disorder that was under all the empties, and it’s finally nearly done. She will be strong enough to take the stairs (2nd story) and move back in next week, but will still be on a 10-pound (4.5 kg?) lifting restriction for awhile yet. Unfortunately her heart was damaged from the chronic fluid buildup in her abdomen causing backup pressure on it, and I can tell there’s some real issues there, like with breathing & activity intolerance.

Back story: My twin sister had a volleyball-sized ruptured dermoid tumor removed from her abdomen in March. It had caused tremendous amounts of ascites fluid buildup in her abdomen, and that was all infected: a bad case of peritonitis.
This all got missed for several years because it can be erroneously assumed that a big belly on an alcoholic is a beer belly.
(Her landlord, a recovering alcoholic himself, told me a heavy-drinking friend of his just had a 27-pound cyst removed from his abdomen—again, attributed to a beer belly!)

The good news to come out of all of this is: I think my sister is still AF!! Fingers crossed!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I had a visit from my daughter & granddaughter today. Spring break, nice day

Slo, so glad to hear your sister is mending after all that trauma. She was probably pretty deconditioned before her surgery but she can get her strength back. Taking care of your heart is not optional. Maybe they can order some cardiac rehab for her to help her along. She is lucky to have you looking out for her. You are obviously a good sister :hug:

G, sure hope your friend gets her AF plan going. With your guidance & positive attitude she can get the job done. Good for you!

Ava, puppy bites, ugh. That's the primary reason I don't want to go thru another puppyhood period again. I'd be happy with a young dog who has gotten past all that & is already house trained too, haha! Hope your day is good!

Pav, hope your dinner meeting is not too bad. Glad to be retired, yeas I am
I am refusing to take the dive into my husband's negative thinking about his health. I told him if he insists on doing that he's going to have to do it alone. I think he got that message, LOL

Byrdie, the pollen is a killer for me, I can imagine what you are dealing with right now. It will warm up again real quick, it always does.

New Sunrise, keep checking in with us & we will help keep you on track. You are doing great & there's no reason to back track while your husband is away.
Turkey & chocolate pie sounds pretty good!!!

Hello to Narilly, Wags & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

So happy to hear your sister might be on the best path, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION]! And how great that sober you is there to help with even the yucky jobs like cleaning her apartment. You’re definitely part of the solution, not an addicted problem. I am so grateful to be someone people can count on again.