Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy Nest. Home today - for 6 whole hours. I find my brain struggles with the chaos of people around when I'm working. Glad to have a little break. Going to walk the dog as we finally have a sunny day, and then get to work. Goal for the day is to drink lots of water and get an abs workout in.

G, thanks for the reminder that it only takes 5 minutes a day to get centered and connect to our breath. Who doesn't have 5 minutes? And if given the opportunity to completely change our mental state with just 5 min - who wouldn't choose it? You inspire me - thanks for that. You da man.

Slo, that's great news about your sister. It sounds like she is doing so much better. I'm so glad to hear it.

PAV - Woa Sista... 14 hours is a very long day. Take care of you!!

Puppy, your plan is good. You sound like you're tackling the hard things and figuring them out along the way. That's exactly what we need to do - figure out other ways to cope and avoid the temptations. If you keep going like this, you will arrive at a day when alcohol is no longer your first choice for a fix. The other actions you've been practicing will become your go-to's. It really IS re-wiring the brain.

Wags, where you at?

LC, I'm glad to hear from you. And I'm sorry you're feeling bummed at work. There definitely are new generations with entitlement out there and it IS annoying, to say the least. I can only hope I'm not raising them myself! How are you feeling about being sober? Is this something you are wanting? LAV and/or NS posted a message I will never forget, when I was struggling awhile back. The message was: that I could probably continue drinking - maybe for years and years - maybe even without huge outer consequences. I could choose that. But what a shame it would be to lose those years to mediocrity. Once I realized that my life would always be mediocre - or worse - if I continued to drink, I began to really WANT a better life. That's when alcohol and I split up for good. No one ever told me I HAD to quit, I only ever said to myself, "I should quit". But it wasn't until I decided that I truly wanted to quit more than I wanted to drink, that I made changes in my life. And then the world opened up to me. I have had the time to re-form every aspect of my life, and with a clear and sober head, life has improved in ways I never, ever knew were possible. Having known you for years now, I can only say that I care about you, and I truly believe you deserve a better life. Only you can decide if you want that - but I really hope you decide to have faith and reach for that better ending. All the people with sustained sobriety here - every single one - will say that life really starts being genuinely rewarding once we do the work and get sober. Because we face the demons and find better paths. I wish this for you my friend. :heartbeat:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

LAV and/or NS posted a message I will never forget, when I was struggling awhile back. The message was: that I could probably continue drinking - maybe for years and years - maybe even without huge outer consequences. I could choose that. But what a shame it would be to lose those years to mediocrity. Once I realized that my life would always be mediocre - or worse - if I continued to drink, I began to really WANT a better life. That's when alcohol and I split up for good. And then the world opened up to me. I have had the time to re-form every aspect of my life, and with a clear and sober head, life has improved in ways I never, ever knew were possible.

Hola nesters,

Right on friend Kensho! I have to agree as your words above are my current and direct experience. Mediocre, just existing....a few laughs here and there.....a fair bit of anxiety and depression, regret, quiet inner knowledge that i could/could've been more.....noooo thanks. For me the equation is real simple. No booze = a big life. I'm liking it very much so far. Lot's of very cool things happening for me right now. All, yep, i say ALL of it because i stopped ripping myself off boozing.

Pav and all of you mums and dads........i am likewise jealous and admiring of you and your lifestyle! I would love my own family, but the gypsy lifestyle and the road is what i've gone with thus far. But it is not my home. I may just have a family and settle down yet. Stranger things have happened. lol

Good work Pupper.

Big waves to y'all.

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Okay, I did it! No booze tonight. Yippee!!!!!!

Sorry to be a bit self-absorbed at the moment. I'm sure this will pass and I'll be able to be much more connected as time goes by.

All the best to all of you lovely people - have a great night/day, wherever you may be.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Okay, I did it! No booze tonight. Yippee!!!!!!

Sorry to be a bit self-absorbed at the moment. I'm sure this will pass and I'll be able to be much more connected as time goes by.

All the best to all of you lovely people - have a great night/day, wherever you may be.

Awesome job FeralPuppy!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Kind of late but wanted to check in, say hello & see how everyone is doing
I just survived a 5.5 hr visit from my 8 & 10 year old grandsons. I can do anything, haha!!! Grateful to have this precious time to spend with them instead of hugging a wine bottle

FeralPuppy, good job this evening. I wish you many more AF evenings like this!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

FeralPuppy - you NEED to center yourself in order to make this work. It isn't "self centered," it is survival. You need to put yourself first right now, and way to go making it through the night.

Kensho, I was going to quote the same piece Mr. G did. That belongs in the toolkit. I spent time lurking here before I joined saying to myself, I'm not THAT bad, I'm not THAT bad... Of course once I looked more deeply at myself, I was as bad as I was, and maybe I could have continued drinking for longer, but to what end. I am SO GLAD I quit.

I have to run.

Happy Friday and not tickets to boozeville!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick fly by to say hello. My uncle died a few days ago and we've been traveling to support family. All is well with my quit, and I should be back home and back on here this weekend. Happy almost-weekend everyone! No tix to boozeville!!!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Feral Puppy, way to Go! You can do it, just take it day by day and as Pav says, find your thing. My thing was everything. I took baths, exercised, went to a counsellor, AA meetings, implemented a feeling of gratitude instead of depravation, listened to The Bubble Hour, read books on drinking, drank lots of yummy AL free drinks, changed my habits (Friday went to a movie instead of drinking a bottle of wine), posted, posted and posted. MWO saved my life.

G, I loved your post, Ken had some great words. Yeah, who wants a mediocre life? I am so happy that your life is Raawkin G, you deserve it. Who wants to go through life in a haze like we were before, everything being tainted by AL. I don't miss the feelings of remorse I had on a daily basis. I really like myself a lot more now. I used to call myself all kinds of names before "oh my God your so stupid, why did you say that" "loser, frick" "ugh, that is so embarrassing"
I don't do that now. I AM AWESOME

Sorry about your uncle Wags, glad you checked in.

Hello Life, hope you are having a great day.

Hello to everyone, I read your posts but have to go to the market now.

What a difference, I love it.

Have a great sober day everyone.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone, I just read an article in The Temper which is a newsletter I signed up with through Medium. I can't post it because it is a paid for thing but here is part of it which gives some insight into why it is so hard to quit AL at the beginning.
Dopamine, unlike other neurotransmitters, plays a crucial role in the brain’s motivation and reward system — and contributes to our survival as a human race.According to the Recovery Research Institute, it takes 14 months of complete abstinence for the dopamine transporter levels (DAT) to return to nearly normal.
The problem is that the dopamine system can make you believe that certain experiences are worth remembering — and repeating — over and over again, even if the experience is harmful to the body (hence the problem with alcohol or drugs).
At the end of the day, here is what you need to know: It takes time to rewire the brain, just as it takes time to change a habit or reach for a long-term goal. Whether it’s months or years, eventually, your dopamine system will balance itself out and you will, again, experience the pleasures of new experiences.

Just know that your brain is hard at work trying to support numerous mental and physical needs.

Hope this helps.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

This is a survey, how many of these things have you done? I figure anything more than 0 says you have a problem.

What other risks are there to excessive alcohol use?
The CDC reports that the short-term health risks of excessive alcohol use include injuries (such as from car crashes, falling, drowning, or even burning), violence (including homicide, suicide, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence), alcohol poisoning, risky sexual behaviors (such as having unprotected sex), and miscarriage or stillbirth or fetal alcohol spectrum disorder for women who are pregnant.

Narilly -5

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Narily… DIGGING the self-love! That made me happy, thanks for sharing. We all need to remind ourselves of our value more often.

FPuppy, great job last night!!! That’s HOW it’s done! In line with what Narily posted, when you do something healthy in place of drinking, the brain actually re-wires your behaviors and responses. It’s like a path in a field. If we walk the same path every day, 5 times a day, it gets very worn and becomes “the trail”. If we choose a different path, at first, it feels like walking through un-traveled weeds and bushes. But the more we walk that new way, the new paths become worn and easier to walk, and they become the preferred “trail”. It’s all about habits, and you are building them! Great work!!!

GMAN, would you post your response with my quote in the toolbox? I love your addition to the topic.

WAGS, sorry to hear about your uncle. Glad to hear you are ok, take care!

LAV, keep calm and Grandma on. That is all.

Have a great day everyone!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I agree, Pav, that college is kind of a racket and way overpriced.

Narilly, I think Kensho is digging the self-love in your second rather than third post! Thanks for the reminder & assurance that our dopamine systems will even out eventually with continuous practice at AF living. And your third post is a very sobering reminder of why staying AF is so very, very important for us. Yes, I had a couple of those. As far as miscarriage, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why those happen.

FeralPup, yes, I think Pupper or Puppy might be a good nickname for you! Going to the cinema is a great choice for distraction on a Friday, but be careful to pick a movie theater that doesn’t sell booze -they are starting to do that now.

New Sun, hope it’s going well for you today.

Wishing you all a safe night in the Nest!

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All!

Finally internet and cable are back. We had a few unimpressive storms here the other night but it knocked everything out. We were a day without electricity and 2 days with out TV and laptop. I had been warned, and now I really have to pressure my husband into getting some kind of generator. We are not a priority all the way out here to get things repaired. The joys of country living! I forgot what it means to live on well also. Thank God for bottled water.

Hubby is due home in about a half hour, woohoo! It was looking like he would be spending his weekend up north again, but we get to have home for a couple of days now. I have to get some dinner thrown together.

I just wanted to check in, 5 weeks yesterday! It is so important to me to check in, you guys keep me honest!

Feral Puppy, welcome to the nest. There is plenty of room here and lots of support. This is my second real quit. I had been sober for 2 years and then thought I could drink and control it. I quit lots of times before I got on here, but those quits only lasted between bottles of wine. I am still so so thankful that everyone is here for support. I need everyone's thoughts and encouragement on here. The tool box has helped me a lot also.

Bye for now, I have to cook!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Wags, sorry to hear about your uncles death, take care.

Slo, that is excellent news about your sister and it sounds like she is turning a corner with her life. I know with my brother that he left it too late to seek help and sadly died. She has a sister to look up to and you should be proud of what you have accomplished coming up to a year.

LC, keep plodding along each day not drinking. God some days i used to drag my arse through the day feeling sad, deprived, angry and like the world was coming in around me but i knew from the oldies here that there is light at the end of the tunnel that apparently life got better and easier and it does in a way. I can cope and deal with life so much easier now. Oh tolerance for people is zero with me. I say it as it is now, if they dont like it then thats their issue. I dont go to work to suck up to people, i go to do my job which i do very well. I have given myself the title now of "fixing peoples f#ck ups" which i spend a lot of time doing or doing work that others say "isnt their job". I tried to be nice when i drank as i felt ashamed and guilty. Now i do what i have to do to make my job easier and my life easier. If you love your job then make changes to make it better for you. Sure you may tread on a few toes but it will be worth it for you. Slowly slowly LC. Making yourself happy doesnt happen overnight, god its taken me 5 years to realise that exercise daily and giving up smoking has changed my life for the better but thats okay, there is no finish line with my sobriety, there is no end to me enjoying my life now.

Hi FeralP and glad you popped in here. Dont worry about being self absorbed, i still am after 5 years ha ha. Getting sober is all about us, with support and understanding and thats why we are here.

Today is looking overcast and yuk so will chance a walk to the shopping centre and have a coffee and a wander around. My son is down in Melbourne today so will try and see him. The son who lives with me has man flu so i need to feel sorry for him also. Finished Carls dog coat so now need to sew it and see how nice (or strange) it looks on him. A nice Saturday for me.

take care xx

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - yes indeed, about the movie theatres that sell alcohol. Like, really? I'm a real, live, true abuser of alcohol but I still can manage to spend ~2 hours in public, watching a movie, without drinking. Just seems nuts.

Anyway, thanks everyone for the permission to be a little self-focused for the time being. I've been checking in throughout the day just to stay tuned in.

I'm feeling great and looking forward to a nice (finally) weekend. Lots of things to do in my new city - Jane's Walks (Jane Jacob, I think she used to be American before we Canadians claimed her), many new farmer's markets, a big Barket (central market repurposed for dogs for the day) and ... wait for it ... Poutine Fest. Yes, really.

Let the weekend begin, hold the booze. We don't need it thankyouverymuch.

Have a wonderful sober night, all you Nesters, a great sober sleep and a fantastic sober weekend. Thank you so much for being here.