Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Waiting for 'flooding rains' to move in tonight - hope they go somewhere else, haha!

Wags, sorry for your family loss. I hope everyone is OK :hug:

Kensho, I think I'll embroider your sentiment on a wall hanging for my kitchen - KEEP CALM & GRANDMA ON
Thanks for that

Narilly, in addition to unexplained bruises & such I also did a Humpty Dumpty down a flight of steps at home nearly 20 years & ended up with a fractured skull & large subdural hematoma. Doesn't get much worse than that All good reasons to keep my quit forever.

Slo, so glad to hear your sister is doing well. I'm sure that's a tremendous relief for your family too!

Pav, I imagine we were all 'bad enough' at one time & are extremely lucky to be here & healthy now!

New Sunrise, we just had a new generator installed, a real necessity here in cow country. 16 years ago when we built this house we endured almost a full week of no power after a huge fall storm, just awful. WE hand a generator installed after that & decided this year it was time for a newer more efficient model. It's nice to be able to get a glass of water & flush a toilet when the power goes out, LOL

Puppy, glad you are checking in frequently & doing well. I checked in here 2X daily for a very long time after I quit. It helped me tremendously.

Hello to the rest of the gang & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning--

Narilly, we approached our quits in similar ways - I used ALL of those methods.

Kensho, love that analogy about the path. I would say that there is one alcohol path, and the other direction has SO many branches. There is is much to do if you're not either wondering when and where you can get a drink or nursing a hangover.

Wags, sorry about your uncle. How's your wife's shoulder? Is she able to travel with you?

Lav - Keep Calm and Lav On is my mantra.

Hi to everyone else. Going to a fundraiser tonight - should be minimal booze and lots of fun. I AM tired as always, but once I get over the inertia I'll be fine.

Happy SOBER Saturday,
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! I have been up for a few hours already, unreal. There is much more time in the day when I don't spend my mornings in bed trying to sleep off a hangover.

Lav, ouch, I fell down the stairs numerous times in my drinking career, it was always SO embarrassing. Thank goodness we are both ok now and didn't do any long term damage. Pav, Ava, NS, everyone, we all probably hurt ourselves numerous times. I remember the unexplained bruises.

Slo, glad to hear you sis is doing better. You sound good too.

Ken, that is hilarious- Keep Calm and Grandma On- lol, I am going to use that one for my MIL.

Puppy, glad you are checkin in. One day at a time- keep coming back, it works! The biggest thing that helped me was talking to all my MWO peeps and reading the tool box. There are lots of good tips there.

Byrdie, Pauly- happy Saturday, enjoy your weekend, you deserve it.

Life, hello girl, glad you are here.
Wags- hope you are good after the funeral. Funerals suck.

In high school I had a boyfriend who drank a lot, we all drank a lot but he turned into a raging alcoholic and now he is just a mess. He looks like he is 75 years old (he is 55), lives with his parents, has numerous health issues (diabetes, stomach problems, underweight, back pain, neck pain etc.). He still smokes and is a total mess. Anyway, his older brother just died last week. They found him under a bridge with drug paraphernalia around him. Likely he died from a drug overdose. When I knew him he was always doing drugs and drinking. He ended up in jail a few times, was married twice and now is dead at the age of 58.
Anyway, I am so grateful for my life. :thumbsup:

Happy to be UN HUNG this morning, yeah!!

Don't drink today xo.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, love that analogy about the path. I would say that there is one alcohol path, and the other direction has SO many branches. There is is much to do if you're not either wondering when and where you can get a drink or nursing a hangover.

I like the path analogy, too, but always try to keep in mind that the bad old path is still there, waiting to be used, and will eventually lead me right back to where I was if I should foolishly choose to take it. The branched path with all its opportunities and adventures is such a better choice!

I've been traveling and encountered the normal disruptions and events that that involves --- so much easier (and fun!) when not chasing a fix or recovering from the night before. My husband I were among the main dancers at an event the other night - totally sober and not trying to fast dance with a glass of wine in hand... (when did that become a thing??? I was spilled on at a wedding a couple years ago).

Thanks for the great posts, [MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION]. I love how you so often you're grateful for and celebrate your new life :hug:.
[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], please jump back in and don't question your choice or look back. You know the life you want and deserve and you can have it. We believe in you. Let us carry you until you fully believe in yourself. xx, NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I like the "many branches" addition to that analogy. So true!

NS, when did doing EVERYTHING with a drink in hand become a thing? It seems that so many events are people standing around, one hand holding a cup of something. What a waste of a hand! And a life.

Saturday usually means no WORK work (as in design), but other HOUSE work. Planted several things today, and I look forward to planting our flower pots next weekend. Mother's Day tradition here. I woke up very tired and still feel like my head's in concrete. I hate when I don't feel clear and strong. Wonder what did it this time? The husband is out drinking beer with his friend. He knows I will not join him any more. I can't say that I didn't - for a brief second - long for a quick escape from this fatigue I'm feeling. But I know that alcohol isn't my answer any more. Going to go take a long hot shower, and THAT my friends is my new happy.

Hope everyone's weekend goes well!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Still waiting on that promised flooding rain, ha ha! We will most likely get soaked tonight
Went to a nearby farmers market this morning & came home with a big bag full of fresh veggies & multigrain bread, yum.

Pav, have I really infiltrated your brain like that? LOL

Narilly, no more accidents for me God willing. I could never survive another hit like that. It was awful
We’re all a lot smarter now, right?

NS, good to see you. Glad to hear your travels were fun!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have a sore throat, dang it. Been on the couch most of the day. I tried so hard not to touch anything or breathe while I traveled, ha!

Narilly, your article about dopamine is spot on. That first year I tried to quit, I would tell myself that I had more sober days than drunk ones. This is The Alkie’s Loophole. As the article describes, those sober days need to be consecutive As soon as we feed the beast, we are exactly back to square one in terms of our brains healing. I believe that it takes 14 months to heal, took a lot longer than that to progress to full blown alcoholism, so 14 months is a relatively small price to pay, in my mind. Thank you for posting that.

Im going to lie back down. Wishing everyone an easy evening. Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - yes indeed, about the movie theatres that sell alcohol. Like, really? I'm a real, live, true abuser of alcohol but I still can manage to spend ~2 hours in public, watching a movie, without drinking. Just seems nuts.

This is exactly it, Puppy!! Why can’t the normies do anything without a drink in hand anymore, when even we can? Like NS said, they can’t even put their drinks down long enough to dance nowadays.

I liked Narilly’s post about dopamine too, Byrdie. And good to know from you now that it takes over a year, more like 14 months, to heal it fully. I’m getting there. I’ll be at 12 months for D3’s wedding.

Lav, I have wondered if you were under the influence when you fell down the stairs and suffered those significant injuries. But thought probably, since that is common to do. Now there’s a motivating memory to pull out when drinking thoughts intrude!

My condolences too on your uncle, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], and hope you’re being blessed with a booze-free funeral. That’s another social occasion that is increasingly boozy these days.

NewSun, great that your husband is home for the weekend after all! It seems that you feel more secure about staying sober when he’s home with you. So nice that things are falling into place for your daughter in your new community too!

Narilly, sad to see the long term effects of drinking & drugging on your high school boyfriend & his brother, 40 years later. Oh wow. The long view of where this leads if continued unchecked...

Sorry you’re so deeply tired, Kensho. Hope your sleep is deep after working outdoors today and then a hot shower. Pav, you sure stay busy & engaged socially!

Happy weekend to all.

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday evening, all.

Slo - does it seem like the normies are maybe drinking more? It wouldn't surprise me - the marketing of alcohol is getting more high-pressure. Maybe normies aren't so normal anymore...? That would fit into my general sense that the human race is collectively going insane.

Anyway, another AF evening for me after a fantastic day out. I've been able to distract myself during the crucial 5:00ish to 8:00ish time period when I tend to feel compelled to buy my alcoholic "supplies" for the evening. My weakness has always been drinking alone at night and I've noticed in the past that most of my anxiety is around gathering those supplies. If I manage to avoid doing so, then not drinking isn't such a big deal. Once 8:00 rolls around and I'm home and well fed and otherwise happy (like now), I'm highly unlikely to go out and get booze. It's a bit weird I guess, but it's as though the deciding and buying activities have worn the deepest rut in my brain and once that's been navigated, there are other pathways of possibility branching out. Not drinking, so how about: going for a walk, reading a book, making something fancy to eat, hanging around on MWO forums... :happy2::happy2:

Thanks to Narilly and Kensho for the popular neuroscience references. It's good to know that we're trainable and fixable. And 14 months to recover from 45 years of abuse is a pretty good deal indeed.

Good night and sweet dreams to everyone.

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

Slo, I am so much more secure in my quit with my hubby home because he rarely drinks and we always stay so busy together. When I am left to my own devices, I am a mess, but I am getting better. Having plans and sugar help though I am backing away from the sugar

We did have nice day yesterday, yard work, the pool, and one heck of a thunderstorm! I kept waiting for us to lose electric again but only got a flicker. Hubby really wants to get an upscale generator. I feel like we can start off small and work our way up. It will not become important to him till he is stuck without electricity at home!

I just wanted to jump on and let everyone know I am still going strong and so glad to say that. I know I still have to make it one day at a time but those days are getting better, not so many nail biting moments.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend AF!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Byrdie feel better nothing worse than a spring/summer cold, Narilly thanks for the dopamine talk,my stop drinking app says most depression goes away after 3 months af but tbh I feel more blue for some reason? New Sunrise you're doing great,yup I love to make it home and all the desire to stop along the way is completely gone! I think Ava used to put her pj's on when she'd get home,I'm so stubborn tho I'd still run to the gas station in pajamas if that urge was strong enough so I never used that one,Lav,glad YB's feeling better and his procedure went smoothly,waves to all and have a super,sober Sunday!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday, Nesters!

Great posts, as usual! I was away at a friend's house for a couple days which was nice. We were able to spend some overdue time together and reevaluate our friendship (which was necessary). Now I'm waiting for my girls to come home. They've both been away for awhile.. there dad is coming for dinner as well.
I have been having strong cravings on and off for the whole day which has been annoying. But I've kept myself at home and busy and in my pj's. I'm going to take a nap because of all of the HALT symptoms, I'm still feeling tired.

I want to respond to all of you and will do so later. Good work going on around here. love to you all.xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun everyone.
Yeah, the path analogy is great Ken, thanks for posting it Pav, NS,.
I love path analogies. The path we are taking now can branch out all over. We walk the path to make it. I am thinking of taking a 3 certification course. I can do it while I work. I know in my sober life I will be more successful at what I do because I am not fighting with a hangover all the time and only functioning at a sub optimal level.
Life, glad you are doing well, hanging with old friends is good.

Omg, Pauly, I can only imagine you running to the liquor store in pj’s. Crazy the things we did to drink!

NS, Puppy, great to read your posts. You both raaawk! Right G?

Have a great Saturday everyone.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Narilly, correct. NS and Pupper raaaawk! As do you mi amiga. Ok ok.....yiz ALL raaaawk, especially LC! Just being here is an act of self care. Turning up for ourselves. That rocks.

I had a great gig last night. An old GF turned up and we went for dinner later. It was nice to catch up. She's gorgeous, but i'm not in pursuit. :-) i felt an (nice) emotional twinge and sat with this slightly unsettled feeling kind of happily.

Sometimes it's good to hold off on decisions if i'm unsure/unclear and not give someone an answer/commitment right away just because they ask. It's often best for me to mull over an idea, project, date for a day or 2 before giving an answer. I mention this coz i've just worked out what i prefer to do for an appt. this week. I'm happier with my preferred appt. date, and i also keep the other person happy by still saying yes - Agreeing to what someone else wants, but meeting them halfway (on my terms). Makes for a less unsettled mind space.

Sadhana done and dusted. Off to work soon. Have a beaut week evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well the rain finally found us & it hasn't quite let up yet. You should see the mud in the chicken yard, yuck, haha!!

G, living life without unnecessary pressure is the way to go

LC, good to see you. I hope your day went well!

Narilly, studying something new is good for our brains. I'm sure you will excel in anything you choose to do!

Pauly, YB's bigger procedure is coming us this week. I hope that one goes as well as the last. Oh boy!

Byrdie, feel better soon. You know you got those germs on your flight, right?

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav