Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Sunday everyone! Un Hung Sun.

I am going for a bike ride, brunch and then walking the dogs. It is going to be an awesome day.
Best thing is that I am feeling good.
F'n rights!

Hope everyone is good. Belle, hope you are hangin in there and Life, I am thinking about you sweet girl.

Have a great day. Raawk it! Right GMan

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all,

FP, alcohol was loose around here, too. There is a family legend of my toddler sister doing the same thing with finishing cups of alcohol, and I would regularly drink with my parents and their friends in my middle teens. It sounds horrifying and abusive now, but they honestly didn't know what they were doing. We all did it in my town - a bit of a hippy town where the parents were reacting to the overt strictness of their own parents. I think my own kids have a better handle on it than I ever did.

Sunrise - It sounds like your plan is perfect for you. I've never been on a cruise - sounds nice to be taken care of for a week. Amazing what alcohol sells for. I am up with the birds, too. I can't usually sleep in.

Glad for the clean diagnosis, Lav. That's a relief.

I have a lot going on in my life right now - work stuff, sick parents and in-laws, stumbling teen, etc. Last night my SiL ordered a martini after a difficult family situation and I was craving that QUICK trip to relaxation that she was going to have. I really didn't want to drink, I just didn't want to feel the way I felt any more. I took a bunch of deep breaths but it took a while to de-escalate myself last night. The good news is that I wasn't craving alcohol at all - my mind didn't even make it a choice. So there's that. Today I have self care lined up - yoga and/or a hike. Good, healthy food.

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
It seems like everyone is doing well.. dealing with the ups and downs of life sans alcohol.
I took a much needed day to myself yesterday and most of today, reading here, watching 3P's videos, sleeping and eating well. Today I made it to the gym which made me feel good.. I walked there and back and it was a nice change from riding my bike. I'm always rushing around in such a hurry even though I don't really NEED to be most of the time.
Thinking of all of you and enjoying reading how you're all doing, what you're all up to.
I have 4 pretty "stressful" weeks ahead of myself and I felt very calmed and in control after watching Michael Neills, An End to Stress.. I posted them in the Three Principles thread. Sometimes when I watch him, I feel like, "could you get to the damned point, please?".. but if I can just relax and let it wash over me, I feel better.
Thanks NS for bringing it back to my attention.
Big fat hugs to Nar, Slo, Byrdie, Lav, G-man, Pav, Ava, Kensho, Wags, Pauly, Sunrise, Feralpup, Belle, NS.. hope I'm not missing anyone.
xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Day 2 of the trade show done. There were two of us in the booth and both of our relief coworkers were an hour late coming in. The one’s wife wanted to go to lunch and the other one went to mass and walked back to the hotel. Was so sweaty he had to take a shower. Then walk 1.5 miles to the booth. Nuts! Our boss is coming in tomorrow.
BTW, the big company meeting on Thursday was to announce we are changing our logo.
Our neighbor with the brick oven pizza gig was so good to us today. He made us a chicken marguerita (sp) pizza and then some guy from Wisconsin came by with some special cheese and we had some of that pie and it was to die for. I’m in a food comma.
The one coworker told me me had a marguerita on the way to the booth today. Yes, I’m keeping score because I know he is one of us. I feel bad for him, his hands shake really bad. I think of the road ahead for him, he’s going to have to come to terms with AL and then find the support to quit. His wife keeps up with him, too, (drinking, she’s as bad as he is) what a challenge there. I’m just glad that’s not me anymore. I never want to return to that person.
I need to adjust my AL savings to account for inflation. When I quit, it was costing about $10/day. I’m sure that would be closer to $14 or $15 now, all things considered. I would be broke trying to support my habit.
I think we are going out tonight for deep dish pizza. I may not survive all this pizza! What a great problem to have! Ha!
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hot & humid today ~ it’s suddenly summer, geez. Watching the news I see there’s a huge line of mean storm moving across the country. I don’t mind some rain, lightning & thunder but the tornadoes are frightening. I feel sorry for those dealing with that this weekend.

Byrdie, I’ll take a food coma any day
Our addiction(s) would have had us in the poor house at some point. Glad we’re not heading that way. Today is my 10 year smoke free anniversary & I don’t even know what they cost anymore, something over $7 a pack I imagine. Combine that with a wine habit - geez!

LC, glad to hear you are looking out for yourself :hug:
If you know the next 4 weeks are going to be tough, make some adjustments on your plan so you get thru unscathed.

Hi to Pav & Narilly! Isn’t it great to maneuver thru your day with no cravings??? I think it’s priceless & the best gift we’ve ever given ourselves.

Hello to the rest of the group & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have just been in a very, very low mood & low energy funk the last couple of days. I slept over 9 hours last night! Otherwise getting through it with a long bubble bath, a good bike ride, walks, stretching, tons of popcorn, soda, candy, & Netflix. Anything but drinking. Except slugged back a couple NA beers in quick succession as if I was back to the real thing! Ugh. The full moon is over, and hopefully sanity & energy will return soon.

Byrdie, that doesn’t sound fair that your co-workers can just show up late for their shift like that. Interesting about the shaking, struggling co-worker...you’re not alone! And his wife probably doesn’t care since it sounds like she’s in the same boat. Yeah, lots of good pizza and cheese around these parts!

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], I have a very stiff and so uncomfortable & inflamed neck too. If I get a massage, they are dismayed at how stiff & tight it is. But I’m making headway at healing it. If you rule out Lyme disease, I can PM with you about some neck & shoulder exercises that have helped me.

New Sunrise, I’m like Lav in that to me a cruise=drinking. I’ve only been on one, but took full advantage of that aspect. That’s cool that you don’t have those associations, so it should be a great getaway for you! And get away from them, and get away from Christmas!

Congratulations on your 10-year smoke-free anniversary, Lav!

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

I sure hope I have better day then yesterday! I tried so hard to keep busy but when hubby goes it is so hard to be alone. I wanted a drink from mid morning on! Funny how you can have a success and then such a hard time. I exercised yesterday, did all my PT exercises and pushed my walk up to 2 miles, yay me, but the yay didn't work. Daughter went off with her boy friend, I met him finally, a really nice kid, so I was totally alone. I went by the pool and drank my lemon water, but that didn't hit the spot. My neighbors were grilling out with all their adult children there, it was nice to hear them laugh and be with each other, but it made the loneliness hit a little harder. I wanted a drink so bad and even went as far as grabbing my purse to run up to the convenience store because even a beer would have been okay, but I put my purse back down. I tried all day to eat well also, but I guess it is too soon to get strict on my eating. I tried to go into a food coma, but never got lost in food last night. I was glad for bed time. I made it through the day by the skin of my teeth.

With that said, today should be easier, back to my weekday routine. No need for the war zone today but I will have to go tomorrow. Even the cat was more his usual self this morning so I should not be so fearful. I just hate struggles like that. Next time I will get on here and ramble, though yesterday's ramble would have been a pity party. On with today though!

Pav- I sure felt your post, good for you! I know family stress makes things hard but I am glad your brain did not go there.

Lav- Great for you, 10 years! I think cigarettes are a bit higher in some places. It was 7 years for me in January and I honestly have not looked at cig prices. A couple of weeks ago hubby was up north and ran to a convenience store for a sandwich and asked the guys if they needed anything. One fella handed him a ten for a pack of cigs and it was ten and change. Hubby was horrified.

Time for me to exercise, then handle some business, and then the pool. I will not be so strict on my eating and that should help.

Happy AF Monday!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NewSun - sounds like you just barely squeaked through yesterday, but you DID! What a great opportunity to strengthen those AF muscles. Give yourself a big congrats on that one my friend - those types of days are real game changers.

Lav - hooray for 10 years smoke free!

Byrdie - I swear your work life should be a tv series. Not sure whether to call it a sitcom as I'm sure it doesn't feel all that funny sometimes - maybe a soap opera? Well, better a food coma than drinking the way you've described happened in the past. Safe travels home.

Pav - sounds like a lot of stressors in your life right now, any one of which would be challenging by itself. Great job resisting that brief desire for quick escape - you know that's not really how that would have panned out anyway. Hope things ease up for you soon.

Nar - that sounds like a pretty darn nice Sunday!

Slo - hope your low mood lifts soon for you. That feeling is never fun or comfortable. Hugs to you :hug:


On this end, my wife is healing nicely from shoulder surgery and is back to semi-normal daily activities in some ways. She's doing well enough that she's able to join her former school (it's her first year as a retired teacher) on a 4-day field trip for the 7th graders. If you ask me, 4 days with a bunch of ~13 year-olds does NOT sound fun, but she's pretty excited about going and I think is grateful to be able to get out of the house for something besides physical therapy for a change.

What this means for me is 4 days alone. In the past, that would have meant a 4-day drinking binge that would probably have started around 9 or 10 this morning after I get home from dropping her off at the school. I would have planned the whole thing out, had plenty of booze already stashed, would have cleared my calendar of classes to teach. Actually, I probably would have kept some classes scheduled, deluding myself into thinking that I could sober up to at least teach a handful of classes this week, but then would have had to short-notice cancel because I'd been day drinking and either miscalculated how quickly I could sober up, or simply just decided I didn't want to. Ugh. I look back at that description of my former behavior and I'm ashamed, but there's also a sick twisted part of my brain that tries to convince me that was "fun." I have to keep being honest with myself about how bad I'd really gotten because it's part of what keeps me sober now.

So instead, I have a different plan. I have just enough classes scheduled over the 4 days to pay my bills, and I'm going to use the rest of the time to get at least one badly needed house chore off my list (sorting through a whole closet area and getting rid of at least 1/3 of what's in there, then re-organizing the rest so it fits better), walk our dog, ride my bike, take my dad out to dinner one night at a new little Mexican place we've been wanting to try, and maybe watch a few netflix or hulu shows that are guilty pleasures for me but that my wife would never watch. And I'll be sober for every single minute!


Hope you all have equally fantastic weeks to look forward to. Hellos and waves to all of you! :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great post Wags New Sunrise,I hate days like that! The thought of drinking can get sooooo overwhelming but you made it! Sometimes we just hafta power through the day and go to bed to wake up reset, waves to all and wishes for a great AF day!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo and New Sunrise - sorry you're both feeling flat. [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] has a post about being "in the middle" that I think sums up what I felt in that first year. I was very down about not being "normal," and it WAS an extended pity party. That was a time for suspension of disbelief for me - I had to listen to what the nest moms were telling me - it was going to get better, and WTH is normal about chasing around a poison to have fun? There's a Bubble Hour about ego that I also found helpful. So happy you both made it through - yes, that sober muscle was flexed and now you are stronger. NSun what's your plan for the war zone? Go when you're full and maybe first thing in the morning?

Wags, one of my favorite drinking times was being alone, too. Now i substitute ice cream for the drinks, and I do give myself the pleasure of watching things my family doesn't like to watch. I like your plan.

Byrdie - what the heck? That's so rude of your co-workers. At least you're getting fed... Do they have the pizza oven in the convention center? That's a feat in and of itself. Pizza sounds good...

My day yesterday was productive interspersed with lazy. I guess that's a good Sunday. I have some healthy food for the week, did a yoga class, cleaned the grout in my bathroom (when I really looked, it had reached gross levels), and also lazed around a lot reading. Pretty relaxing. I still want a magical pill to take away the anxiety I'm feeling, but the good news is I have no desire for alcohol or anything that will make me "high." I'll keep up with the food/exercise prescription and see what comes. I know that this will go away...

Happy Sober Monday,
Pav

xpost Pauly. Good morning!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION], this is one of my favorites, also:

In-Between
Melody Beatty

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, and what we don’t want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in-between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not.
We’re standing at the in-between place. It’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we’re in-between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.

From the book: The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I really love that NS. I spent time in the "in between" for sure. Didn't like it much, but found that if I kept my eye on the prize (the mind peace everyone here talked about) it would come. It takes faith and guts to go from a "here" we don't like but are familiar with, to a "there" we don't yet fully understand. It's being willing to forge new pathways in our brains and venture into the unknown. Except that it's not totally unknown... everyone here who has a good amount of AF time under their belts won't hesitate to say that it's better than than where they started.

Rainy, sleety day here. Not typical for the week kids get out of school! Trying to decide whether to take on a new project... I don't want to kill myself for low-budget, demanding jobs any more. I want to cherry-pick the projects that allow me to really generate elevated, custom design solutions. I know where I want to be, but I keep having trouble saying no to the projects that don't fit that criteria.

I'm also renewing my commitment to healthier eating and physical activity. I strongly believe that part of my problem with my neck is losing strength and flexibility in my core - where I used to be so strong. Yoga and pilates, here I come!

LC, I feel you're blah. Proud of you for still moving forward. There's nothing backward for you any more except more of the same that you keep wanting to leave. Hang in there. IT will get easier and better.

PAV, sorry life is feeling stressful for you. That one understanding that it's not the alcohol we want but a cessation of our current state - well then we can deal with that somehow different. Hope things get easier for you soon!

I'm off to start my week. Best wishes for everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Thanks for that post NS. I remember it well and it's a bewdy. I say cherry pick Kensho, but it'll all work out one way or another. :happy2:

Getting over a little mini flu here. As much as it tried, It couldn't quite take a hold of the new shiny upgraded super G force! The feeling's good in general as the adventure draws nearer. Thursday week i'm off to embrace life. New music, cultures, new terrain, new people. Wowza. Bring it on Universe, and thank you for the opportunity.

Take care out there. Big waves!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Even super G force can’t overpower the flu! I bet it mitigated it somewhat though. Super G force will make you better in no time!

Four days with a bunch of 13 year olds sounds like hell to me too, Wagmor. And actually, it was when I chaperoned the 7th & 8th grade trip to Washington D.C. I guess that’s why teachers are special people!

I was at a fundraiser dinner last night for a high school sport. The guy sitting next to me said he was going to be a brand new father, and the guy across the table quickly turned it to the best day in your life of raising the child will be when he turns 21; and about how much fun it was taking his son out to the bar on his 21st birthday, and how many beers & shots they had and how hung over he was the next day.
I found it annoying, so got away to look at the auction items...of which two out of every three gifts was alcohol. LOTS of alcohol. So not too much there for me to bid on. And that’s what we were showing our high school athletes what adults prize most of all.
This is the world we live in, and I will have to get used to not fitting in; I’m in the world but not of it now. And actually, like Pav said, it looks pretty insane from this outside perspective that people value poisoning themselves so highly.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

quick check in for me. Work work and more work but i enjoy it and the craziness.

Lav, a huge congrats on 10 years sf. I will be posting that in 9 years and 45 weeks time ha ha.

Slo/Sunrise, just keep plodding along. Slo you are so close to a year i can smell it. Nothing and no one is worth drinking AT.

Slo imagine how many ex-alkies find it annoying, maybe we should start a political party and change the world. We know people wont change unless they want to and be proud that you are paving the way and showing others that you can live life without al and be happy not drinking. I hate al with a vengeance, i dont tolerate it and i will talk about my sobriety when questioned why i dont drink. Drinking kills as many people as smoking. If only the world was as anti drinking as it was smoking but hopefully that will come in time.

Two sleeps for me and i celebrate 2000 days. i just cant get my head around that this raging alcoholic has not drank for that long and has no intentions of drinking ever again. I never ever imagined that life sober would be interesting and that i could have fun without al and i could be a grown up and enjoy it with all its ups and downs.

Wags, so glad your SO is on the mend and yes i could think of nothing worse than spending time with a bunch of teenagers and raging hormones. Glad you will have some you time.

LC you will not be exhausted soon enough, i still remember feeling bone tired for a couple of months with raging headaches thrown in for fun, making me wonder if not drinking was worth it. I then thought to myself that i had caused this damage to my body so i had to give it time to heal and heal it has, now its middle age that is causing me grief.

Hi Nar, how is the job hunting going?

take care xx