Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,
I was out of town for the weekend with my daughter and her gymnastics state championship. She did ok, but I am so proud of her even when she doesn't come home with a medal. The one she did get was a surprise as it didn't seem her score warranted it, but I guess there were a lot of low(er) scores.

Lots of good stuff here to read, it seems. I skimmed over quickly but will read more later. Saturday night we had a "team dinner" with about 50 people, including moms, dads, gymnastics and other various family members. Since the girls sat together, all the parents had to sit together. Everyone around me was drinking beer. Beer after beer after beer. And I knew that some of them who's kids were done competing were heading home 3+ hour drive after. What?? Even in my drinking days I would not consider doing that after one beer. I would be too afraid I would fall asleep at the very least. I was happy with my tonic water/twist of lime. And I did not give a 'tinkers damn' (whatever that means) what any of them thought.

Things are feeling weird here with son home. He and girl-friend, (not sure if she is a 'girlfriend') had a blowout already because she hasn't given him 2 minutes peace since he came home. He's out with guy friends this evening. I have hardly seen him and partly because I was away this weekend. Another weird thing is that daughter's boyfriend drove her to gymnastics this evening. I guess I am feeling rather useless right now. So I ate dinner by myself and perhaps I'll take a walk. I'm still a little blah and anxious about things especially with son.

Lots to read back on, and I don't have much to offer right now. But mostly I thought I was overdue to check in with y'all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a hot & humid 89 degrees today, yuck. I am not a fan of this weather, my chickens don’t like it either.
I took my husband in for suture removal today so now there’s only one incision left to deal with, haha! All these dressing changes are taking up a lot of my time, just kidding

Great to see everyone checking in as always.
Please don’t fear the rough days. I can tell you from my experience that soon enough everything will be just right & you will feel immense pride for hanging in & getting the job done. I promise

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

Thank you all for all the support! I don't know what I was thinking, because I know better, one huge success last week did mean the war was over. I know there will be other days like that but yesterday was not one of them. It really is a one day at a time deal. I woke up sober yesterday and apprehensive but I woke up sober and did the same today.

Wags, thanks so much for sharing! I used to plan my days for when hubby leaves on a trip to drink and now I plan my days to fill with more productive activities. I really understand and so grateful you shared the old days. Your wife is truly a saint. I am retired myself but never HAD to go on the field trips. I was not such a saint and if they were short of chaperones for trips I would sink a bit lower in my chair when they asked for volunteers. The younger teachers would jump on the chance....suckers!

Pav- I do have a plan for the war zone, early and in and out with my list! I am going to blinders on if I need to, Sunday was rough. It is hot here also Lav, thank God this week and not last week before we got the air in. I now have to take my insulated bags for my cold stuff. If I buy ice cream or something like that it would be a bag of seeping mush by the time I get home. I do have to make another stop at the pharmacy to pick up hubby's prescriptions. We really need to get this better coordinated.

No Sug- Thanks for the quote. The middle place is where I am at, looking back at falling into old habits that look good on the surface but are so bad and having to move on to a better place. It is the journey and not the destination. I will not be cured of this one day, I will be just be in a better place further then where I started and have more to lose every day I am away from where I was.

Slo- I am not surprised at the adults talking the way they did and good for you for leaving them with their twisted thinking. I am surprised at the auction items! That would never have been allowed in our schools but every area is different. It really doesn't give the kids a good example.

Avail-Early Congratulations are in order for 2000 days! Wow! That is a lot of hard work and worth celebrating!:sohappy::yay::welldone:

Belle- I am glad you got through the weekend and you should be proud of your daughter. Not drinking does make one notice other's not so wise decisions.

I will be heading to the war zone soon :egad: and get'er done and over with. The pool will be in order today but not sitting by it, I was way too hot in the direct sun yesterday, so I will finish my book on the back porch. A nice dinner for daughter and I tonight and probably to bed early. Hubby really looks like he will be home on Saturday so I will look forward to that too.

Wishing everyone a great sober day!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=24351]New Sunrise[/MENTION], if you have another day like Sunday, I'd encourage you to sign on here and post post post! If the threads aren't busy, go back to any page in the Newbies Nest and read away! The characters change but the stories of addiction are all pretty much the same. Plus the first-person stories are engrossing and given all the trouble we managed to get into thanks to drinking, some of them are pretty juicy :haha:. The advice that people received months or years ago is as relevant now as it was then.

I made a vow when I joined here never to drink without coming here to post first and waiting for a response. I was so sick of breaking promises to myself not to drink that day, I was determined to turn that around by keeping this one. And so far, it has worked!!

Glad you have a plan for the upcoming days. xx, NS

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

G'morning.

Thanks for digging that up, NS. It really sums it up for me. The middle of anything, really. Another good thing to think about in those in between days is that relapse comes in stages that happen before the actual drinking. One of those stages is glorification of drinking or thinking about the "good old days," without remembering what came after. I know Narilly wrote some of her worst experiences down, and I have a journal, too. That way we can always look back and remember the actual bad old days if we're feeling nostalgic. AND I agree with Lav, don't fear the thoughts. See them for what they are - just thoughts - but be prepared. I know I wanted rainbows and unicorns forever when I quit. Life being lifey was a surprise. Keep it up!

Belle - that scenario! At the little league baseball games here parents would bring coolers with pitchers of margaritas or beers "hidden" in red solo cups. It is amazing how much people think they have to drink to have fun. I promise you that I have a lot of fun in my life, without booze. I suspended my disbelief when long term sober people told me that - you'll see.

My son has a fever again. I think he's missed over 10 days of school from being sick this year - maybe even over 15. Crazy - the poor kid. And this is his junior year, so it has been stressful trying to keep his grades up (to some but not total success). Good thing I'm sober...

Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for digging that up, NS. It really sums it up for me. The middle of anything, really. Another good thing to think about in those in between days is that relapse comes in stages that happen before the actual drinking. One of those stages is glorification of drinking or thinking about the "good old days," without remembering what came after. I know Narilly wrote some of her worst experiences down, and I have a journal, too. That way we can always look back and remember the actual bad old days if we're feeling nostalgic. AND I agree with Lav, don't fear the thoughts. See them for what they are - just thoughts - but be prepared. I know I wanted rainbows and unicorns forever when I quit. Life being lifey was a surprise. Keep it up!

Great summary Pav. Hey, that sucks about your son, I hope he gets better right away. Poor kiddo.

Belle, ya, girlfriends can be a pain. I am sure he will figure it out. Glad you are not drinking.
Lav, it is cold here again. I would love your weather for a day. Our weather here is the same as yours Ken.

Ava, 2000 days!!! You raaawk!
G, I am sure you will feel better soon.
Byrdie, Pizza! Your job sounds really tough, hang in there.


Like NS says, come here a post first if you feel like drinking. It really helps. Being accountable to the group helps keep us sober, I know it really helps me.

Life, so nice to ready your post. Just move through it, you are doing great.

Slo, that guy you were sitting with sounds like a tool. The best thing is when they turn 21 and you can drink with them? Whatever. I cant believe that would be the best thing you could do with your kid, give me a break. Good you didn't slap him upside the head. haha

NSun, Feral, hope you are both doing well.

Well, I have an interview tomorrow and I had one last week. What a pain. I am sure I will get something soon right in time for the glorious summer weather.

Talk soon, don't drink today. xo

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's SNOWING! I had to shake bushes and trees off this morning and I carried several large (heavy) pots inside for the night. UG! Not supposed to be how summer starts!

Kids have three days left. I don't know why they still go to school really - they haven't done much for 2 weeks now. They are excited to get on break, but a little apprehensive too for the change. Being a good mama now.

I purchased wine for my favorite recipe of all time - cioppino. Not the same without it. It was weird in the liquor store... I was halfway through to wine section when I remembered my typical trips. I got a rush of panic, then as an outside observer, remembered that was not me any more. I don't recommend going near alcohol sections new in your quit - or ever if it is too hard - but I somehow can do this now and it is more of a reminder of what I am not any more. And I usually see one or two raging alcoholics along the way - red faces and toxic eyes - so glad I gave that path up.

Keep up the good work everyone. If it doesn't feel good or easy now, give it some more time and it will get better. I don't regret quitting for even a second. I am so proud of my decision and it builds me up every single day.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Kensho! Cioppino - Wikipedia Count me in! Any sort of fish stew thing i luuurve. In fact tonight i'm having dinner with my band and we're going to 'Shark fin' restaurant in Chinatown, so i'll be looking for a sefood combo in a hot pot or BBQ'd. Noice. Bon appetite mi amiga. Snowy mornings at the start of summer. Does that mean crisp, fresh, clear mornings and warm blue sky days? That's how some days have been here. Beautiful.

Pav, wishing your son a speedy and full recovery and hope he get's comfortable, happy and back on track real soon. Take care of you too.

Lav, congrat's on 10 years orf the fags! Raawkin.

Narilly.......Raaaaawkin! Good luck with those interviews.

Ava, heading for day 2000! Wowza! You bloody rippa.

Sheesh Slo. That bozo saying the best thing about having a kid is being able to have a beer with him when he's 21???!! Well, right there is the danger of our drinking culture. When our kids grow up thinking it's an expected and accepted ritual and behaviour for a human. We sure need to expose our kids to different options for socialising. What about a booze free hike and camping in the mountains or the bush being alive and receptive to nature and the stars. I'm not saying we should ban the drinking culture, but i think we should as a society be more vocal in highlighting various healthier social options.

Building ourselves again. Rebuilding. Getting back and growing our self confidence, self respect, self worth, and remembering or tweaking our personal mission statement and values, principles for living. We can turn our lives around and build new habits and routines through daily practice of doing something we love. Friend Kensho writes above about being so proud of her decision to live sober and how that builds her up everyday. It's true.

Big waves to y'all. Take back your precious life. Just a few weeks of internal battle and a little bit of work and you will emerge from the fog more content. Then maintain your sobriety by growing as a person in a way you want to, and in a way you can handle.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had a complete weather turnaround today, yay! Sunny & in the 70’s all day

I was just thinking about our kids when they turned 21. No one made a big deal about it, they were busy with college & jobs. But, years later when our daughter introduced her boyfriend to us as a none drinker, it sounded strange. When they were married my husband groaned that he will never be able to have a beer with his son-in-law. I pretty much ripped him ‘a new one’ over that statement because it was purely selfish!!
The guy has been a good husband to our daughter & a great father to our granddaughter, who the hell cares what’s in his glass? I’ve never heard another word about it from my husband, haha! These days my husband might have one glass of beer when we go out & that’s it, of course

Ava, I love the #2000 - sounds perfect!!

Hello to G, Kensho, Narilly & everyone.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello, all. FINALLY out of that booth. My coworker had a family emergency and his wife made him come home. His daughter, 26, had an appendectomy on Saturday, his wife, (who was here at the trade show) flew home to be with her. Last night at dinner, she had a meltdown and called him several times during dinner so he flew out early this morning leaving me to close the show and pack up the booth. I finally got that dam thing in the box (every piece has to go in just the right way) and had to get a neighbor to help me close the lid. Then packed up the brochures and prize box and found 4 metal rods under the table that were supposed to go back in the box. I tried to open the booth box but the lid was jammed shut so the 4 metal bars didn’t make it. Hope they weren’t important. I closed up early, it was obvious that we were getting nowhere, so I taped up the boxes, slapped shipping labels on them and walked the 1.2 miles to the shipping center. She said we can’t take this until 3, leaving me over an hour to stand there waiting. That was BS. Finally got my paperwork turned in and I was finally outta there.
Up early to fly home. I have a 3 and a half hour layover in Atlanta.
My life really does sound like a sitcom. Meanwhile, my feet are suing for nonsupport! My whole body aches.
Going to bed shortly. I was the only non drinker at dinner last night. My coworker had 6 tequilas (the one whose wife made him go home). When he got up to go to the bathroom, someone said “look how drunk he is”. Ouch. I have to know that was said about me at company meetings. I’m just glad that’s not me anymore.
Heading home tomorrow, can’t wait. I missed my neighbors funeral yesterday, I hate that. Hubs said is was a sad time.
Hope everyone has a wonderful evening. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - 2000 has such a nice ring to it!

Nar - hope something pans out on the job front for you soon, although the timing with summer coming may not be awesome. Do you get stressed out for interviews or take them in stride? Either way, I hope something wonderful comes along for yo soon.

Byrdie - so sorry you weren't able to attend your neighbor's funeral, and it sounds like a rough end to the trade show. Your co-worker must've felt just peachy having to get up early and fly after 6+ tequilas the nigh before. Ugh, memories and not the good kind. Honestly, every single morning I wake up realizing the previous day/night was a "coulda been" for drinking but that I DIDN'T and that my quit is still intact, I still feel relief! I'm sure you do too, and sometimes seeing our old selves in others (and hearing what people probably used to say about us) can be a painful eye opener but also a good quit-strengthener. Do you get a couple of days off now or is it right back to finish the work week?


Happy hump days for everyone stopping by the nest today. May your weeks be easy from here on out!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

MAE, All:

Well, Byrdie, that sounds pretty awful. Six tequilas at a business dinner sounds pretty bad, even by my standards. I usually waited for the bar AFTER the dinner. Glad you're home and tucked in safe and sound.

Kensho - I always struggle with cooking with wine. No doubt it doesn't taste the same without it. I've tried a few different things, but never purchased wine for a stew or soup, and I miss it. Do you just pour the extra down the sink? How'd the cioppino come out? One of my faves as well. Mr. G, I also love any Asian version I've had. Maybe I know what I'll cook this weekend...

Nar - Good luck on the job search. Your industry volatility would make me a giant ball of stress. You seem to handle it well. My sister just got a new job. She had decided she didn't want it, but then had a great interview and they loved each other. I swear it was because she went in without really caring, so she probably came off more chill.

Ava, if you're at 2,000 days, that makes me 1,999. I'll celebrate tomorrow (or is it tomorrow in Australia and I'll celebrate the day after??) You are an inspirational quit buddy. xo

I had a typical stress dream last night - it was actually comical how text book it was. Apparently I am feeling a little out of control of my work environment. I didn't really need a dream to tell me that - ask anyone who works in a school setting how May is going... :thumbsup:

Hi to everyone else. Stay the course and take care of yourselves.

Happy SOBER Hump Day,
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy, all:

Congratulations on 2000 days today, Ava! Your hard work and tenacity sure has been remarkable, and the result is this big number!
And you’re right: drinking does kill as many people as smoking does! And yet it is still glorified.

Thanks for checking in, [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION]!
It truly is amazing at how intertwined the drinking culture is with our children’s sports.

NewSun, GREAT job on getting through your rough day. Early in & out and with a full belly is the best way to handle the war zone, aka grocery store. And the pharmacy, since that is stuffed silly with alcohol as well, but which can be avoided if you use the drive-thru.

Where’s [MENTION=24370]FeralPuppy[/MENTION]? I have one daughter who as a toddler would quietly crawl around under the chairs at a cookout, dipping an Italian sausage into the beer cups and then sucking out the “juice”. She’s the one too who sat in the pantry as a toddler and ripped open the jello packet, dipping her wet fingers into the dry powder over & over ...the one who’s eyes over-dilated with pleasure as a toddler with her first McDonald’s soda.
The one who got too drunk at her cousin’s wedding....she’s the one of our four daughters who I think could be predisposed to our “condition” if all doesn’t go well. But, so far so good at age 26!

Good luck with your interview today, Narilly!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning! Not snowing... but about 37 degrees F! Brrrrrrrr.

Pav, I only buy the small 4-pack wines, so that I don't have any leftover in my fridge. And I store the others deep in my pantry so I don't see them every day. That way, I treat them like an ingredient, not a drug. It has not been a problem for me. I DO find myself breathing out of my mouth when I pour it, so I don't smell it. There are about 3 recipes I use it for. I couldn't do it early in my quit, but now I have a mental distance from the stuff. I would never bring it in my kitchen if I craved it!

AVA!!! 2000 days is a fabulous number!!! You have been an inspiration for sure, and I love your attitude toward alcohol now. Thanks for being a leader here and I hope you enjoy your celebration!

It always amazes me when people are blatant about their drinking habits. I hid mine well.

Headed out for a walk with the pup. I ate a whole bunch of stuff I shouldn't have last night and I feel extremely irritable this am. Food really can affect us in huge ways!

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Checking in quickly. I'm traveling around and not in good internet connection. I tried a nice long post on my phone earlier but it didn't take...:eek-new:

Congrats to all those with ~2,000 days. Awesome! And awesomeness to all the rest of us, too. As little as a day or two is en route to 2,000.

I'm in deep trigger country at the moment and my AV is at its eloquent best. It really does talk some absolute nonsense BUT my addicted brain is so impressionable. My addicted brain is an idiot. Anyway, I'm safe and sober and will stay that way. Not going back to 6-drink social occasions where I *think* no one can tell that I have a problem.

I do agree with those who feel in-between and "of this world but not in it." I imagine there are innumerable subgroups that feel this way about their own/shared challenges. It's too bad the whole of society can't just be real about being human and being flawed. All these psychological ghettos aren't good for us.

Oh well, we aren't going to fix society here today. So sober best wishes to everyone in the nest!

InBetweenPuppy