Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Wags congrats on your 1,036 days New Sunrise,2 months is awesome! FeralPuppy on a month best thing is to stay connected here,from the outside it might not look like support to other people but IT IS! Just as supportive as going to AA or another alcohol support group but you hafta show up and use it day by day that's what we're here for Ava, Phil Collins was on in Walmart and of course I thought of you,think I always will haha,Byrdie,I could use that guy cuz my daughter is moving into another rental house and both need to be cleaned haha Lav, sunshine has been sparse here too which is unusual for Vegas,just overcast everyday and cooler (for us) ugly weather but at least no tornadoes or flooding like down south,those poor people,waves to all and wishes for a superb sober Sunday!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, all.
Everyone DOES sound good!
Ive been thinking a lot about my coworker with the AL problem. He doesn’t realize it, but AL is causing so many of his (and his wife’s) issues. Just for starters, you reclaim about 6 hours a day by quitting And you don’t spend the other waking hours obsessing. He says his sleep is crap, we all know why that is. His wife’s anxiety is always on overload, that would improve 1000 percent if they would both quit drinking. One of the reasons he delays helping me is to go workout during lunch. Funny that, he is trying to be healthy and drinking himself to death. Well, it’s not funny at all. If he ever says to me that he’d like to quit, I will tell him I can help, but as we well know, you have to make that decision for yourself. No amount of nagging helped me, in fact, I think it made it worse. It makes me so thankful to have Day 1 behind me. Just the baggage associated with it! MindPeace, that is the goal, and I don’t plan on giving it up.
Thank you, MWO, for giving me the tools and the hope, to succeed!
Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Sunday--

Yesterday I told my husband about the 2,000 days, and I decided to ask him how he experienced my drinking. He really didn't know the amount and he said if he was asked at the time he would have said that I drank too much from time to time but that I didn't need to quit. So amazing to me! We have talked about it before, but I didn't ask him that direct question. There is no doubt in my mind that I was heading to the point where he would say yes to that question.

FP - I did that same thing. Was seeing a therapist about everything BUT drinking. When I finally came clean to her, it was the moment that it all turned around for me. I couldn't lie to her and even if I did, once the cat was out of the bag it wouldn't have worked. All part of the "acceptance" of the problem that was so key for me.

Congratulations on all of the milestones. Lav, I am definitely taking it easy this weekend - it feels good to actually take three whole days in a row off.

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful & safe weekend.
We just got back from visiting our daughter & her family. My 8 year old granddaughter can now officially eat more than me, haha!!

Wags, Congrats on your significant AF time!
I am glad to hear you have scheduled yourself an 'easy week'

Pauly, I was kinda grateful for the overcast day because it was near 90 & humid. Sun would have made it feel worse, ugh.
Your daughter is moving but staying in your area?

Byrdie, sad about your coworker & his family. I hope he sees the light before it's too late.
You must be enjoying some peace this weekend, you certainly deserve some peace.

Pav, glad you are taking it easy too this weekend!

NewSunrise, Congrats to you on your 60 AF days, yay! It just keeps getting better & better.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday everyone. I have been busy taking a class and singing in the choir this weekend. It was really fun.

Hey Byrdie, your poor co worker, that is crazy. Hope your week goes better.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes on the job. Something will happen soon, I hope.

Hey Belle, my son went through some things too and it was really hard. Like Pav says, it’s not always a straight line. Hang in there, he will come around. Being sober will only help.

Pava, happy 2000 days!! I love that, Pava. You both Raaawk, right G?

Hello Life, glad you are checking in. You are doing great. I totally agree about the importance of a sober community. I know that has made all the difference for me. You too New Sun.
Yes Feral, nice to be able to go out instead of drunk at home on the couch.

Have a good one everybody.

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

Being on here is sure a life saver for me. Stopping drinking does not 'cure' life but sure makes it manageable!

I will start off with the good news, hubby's birthday was wonderful. He enjoyed every minute of it, even if it felt like every minute was spent with me feeding him! This man still eats like a teenager! I will not jump on the scale today because what ever I lost, I certainly gained back yesterday. No matter, I was sober and he enjoyed his day. I originally gave him his present at the beginning of the month, a back pack with all the bells and whistles that he could easily take on a plane and cram with all the things he likes to have on hand. He then broke his pedometer, which he uses religiously. I bought him another and when I looked for a b-day card for him I found one from a cat. I just wrapped it in kitty themed paper and precariously had the cat give it to him. He was thrilled to death because he really just loves this cat. It made his day.

Now for the drama. I wish sobriety cured drama. His sister...I just have to let that one go because now it is all over the place and it not something I can control. It will work out how ever it works out and I just pray that things get better for her for all their sakes. Everything is up in the air.

I got an e-mail from my ex's aunt which she wrote in the middle of the night :egad:. She is in her 80's and her husband is also, Uncle is now suffering with Alzheimer's. Yesterday my son and his horror of a gf went out to dinner with them and she was so proud that son took the time to visit with them, even changed her FB picture to the 4 of them. She wanted to know why I was so mean to such a lovely girl. Good Lord! I am a monster with three heads now! She is so upset about it because it didn't sound like me, well it wasn't. It was so hard to write back to her and be tactful and try and explain a little of problems with son and the psycho without it sounding like a horror! She is old and loves my son to death and wants everything happily-ever-after but that is certainly not the case. Holy crap on a cracker, I need this to stop.

I will make it stop today! I have the day with hubby, steaks to put on the grill, laundry that I have to finish and a pool that is calling my name! I just have to get away from this all and keep on the mark. Don't be surprised it I get on here again today! I already want to drown in a good merlot, but it would be drowning and not help a thing. Often, I want to track down the dude at my first AA speaker meeting who said that life would turn into rainbows and butterflies with good finances to boot, and smack him around a bit. Bugger should not have painted a sober life like that.

Now I have vented, thank you all for being here! I do hope everyone has a good sober holiday!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Wags congrats on your over 1000 days. Life certainly gets better and better now al is not in the forefront of our lives.

Lav, hows hubs going now?

Slo, how is your sister? I do think of her often and hope she is looking after herself. You are the best role model for sobriety.

FeralP, i am sure my children appreciate me being able to be there for them any time day or night. For years they didnt have that. They hassle me about always being super early for anything and i remember those days when i could not drag my butt out of bed till 11ish and feel like death but still drink in the afternoon. I had a chuckle as i never told the psychologist i was seeing years ago that i had a drinking problem and i never had a blood test as i always told myself i would stop drinking or moderate for a few weeks and get bloods done, well that never happened.

LC, i know i could never ever have gotten sober without the accountability of MWO and it still keeps me going today although having a garbage bag of tools helps immensely. You are sounding good.

Sunrise, i dont think i could look after 2 pre-teenagers for a month and now their mother. Congrats on your 60 days.

Pauly, i am glad you think of me and in a nice way. Love my Phil. Hope you are feeling better.

Busy at work and its turned cold and wet now. This doesnt entice me to get out of bed at 4.15am, thank goodness my heater in the car works a treat and the hot flushes will always get me through. The cold weather is making my hip ache and im pretty over having pain every day but im lucky its not worse than it is. 2 months not smoking and its getting easier. I just cant have one and i know that now. Tomorrow is a year since i had to put my rupey to sleep and two months since mads died. where does the time go. Carl is settling down and loves his nana to death, he now doesnt want to amputate a limb when he sees you and is such a joy to have. i think he is a cross between both my girls but also his own little fur person. will post a pic soon.

Hope you are all packed G and get to check in while you are away.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Memorial Day.
I have really enjoyed my 3 day weekend. Just what I needed.
New Sunrise, being sober doesn’t make all of life’s problems go away but it sure makes things easier to deal with because we are operating with a clearer head. I used to say that it was as if I were operating with more information. I am. I remember information and can process it in a rational way. I’ve learned coping skills which really helps when the going gets tough. Your AA guy took some artistic license with being sober, but compared to the hell hole I was in, it really is 1000 times better. Not perfect, but much better. I haven't spotted any unicorns yet, ha!
On the news this morning, they had a piece on being ‘Sober Curious’. It’s a movement that caters to AF bars and sober interactions. Meeting for drinks means enjoying AF drinks and the social aspect of all that without the repercussions! Genius, I say! I’m so happy to see it. Maybe we are starting a trend, it would n nice NOT to be the only non drinker at a function. Go us!
Back to the grind tomorrow. Yuck. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Memorial day Nesters

The long weekend is almost over. I haven’t seen a single person drink, amazing!
I remember these family get togethers when I was a kid & all the adults drank. I used to ride home in the back of my parent’s car & pray we made it home alive. My mother didn’t drive & my dad wasn’t always sober, for real. Those times were indeed frightening
I spent some time washing my car, vacuumed the inside & now it looks good as new, yay.

Ava, my patient has one remaining incision with sutures still intact. They will come out on Wednesday. I know he’s been uncomfortable so I hope he gets some relief this week. Now to convince him to stay out of the sun, oh boy.
It’s been 85-90 degrees here this weekend & you are feeling the cold, amazing.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Evening All,

I thought I would check in, SOBER! My day did not get any better and thank God hubby was home. I got a call from my son, he was testing the waters but I didn't even let him get splashed. It took a lot on my part but he called me to see how my weekend was and how to clean a friggin pot that he cooked bacon in. Really? Noooo, this man is a foodie and I know he has cooked things I would not even attempt. He then told me he saw aunt and uncle last night and then went back to their condo to visit. Aunt had made the picture of the 4 of them her FB picture and I just commented saying it was a wonderful picture. I didn't want to say anything but no comment from me would have been noticed since I am close to them and she likes all I post. Oh, it was agony, I just can't tell you! I acted like I knew nothing about it their dinner and did not mention the e-mail she sent me so upset at how they said I treated them. Guilty conscious came screaming through but I played dumb, I would not let him know how much he hurt me and upset his aunt. At one point I asked how uncle was doing and son mentioned that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's but he was really doing well. I told him that aunt had told me about the Alzheimer's last time I talked with her and he almost flipped out. When did I talk to her??? Sometime last year before we moved. Holy cow.

I know I go on, and this has been so stressful but I needed to get it off my mind and give hubby and daughter a break. Hubby really doesn't drink but now and again and today he even said to me, "I would say let's have a drink but I think you would just get drunk and be a nasty drunk!" Wow, that was a lot coming from him!!! Now you guys get to hear this. I am hurt beyond measure.

On a good note, nothing was heard from hubby's sister, a break from that. Hubby also did not get his plane reservations this afternoon, so maybe another day home? Just in case, plan is in place, no war zone for a couple of days! I have enough left overs for days for daughter and I. We had steak for dinner and I cooked an extra just to have more left overs. Outside as much as possible! I have a table that really needs to be stripped and re-varnished and now is as good a time as any to do it, heat does not bother me.

I really, really am so thankful to have you all! I am sorry if I get on here and air all my dirty laundry too much. Holding it in is just a recipe for a slip. I will not let my sobriety lose its priority.

Bryd, I did learn the hard way that sobriety does not make life's problems go away, just so much easier to deal with. I don't think that I would know that man if I saw him again, but if I did, I would certainly tell him to never paint sobriety as he did at that meeting. Also, that AF Curious bar sounds great. That is one thing that my daughter has a problem with, she does not meet a lot of people her age because she doesn't drink and there are not a lot of places to meet people her own age. I am so thankful she doesn't drink.

I do hope everyone has had a good holiday. This is one I sure will remember! I will remember being sober through it too!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

We are thankful & happy to have you here too, Sunshine! I don’t think you’re especially airing dirty laundry; just talking about what’s going on in your life, and being on guard about what could potentially derail you.
Once again I really like how you handled your son! That’s a tricky situation to navigate, with such a toxic girlfriend influencing him.

That’s interesting, Lav, about your child’s perception of being driven home by an inebriated father after a holiday drinking gathering, and feeling unsafe. My dad was always the driver too, and I see I can be grateful that he never (that I noticed) drove us home drunk. He would go to the liquor store on say a Friday night and get himself a six-pack to drink away work stress, but he didn’t drink much if he was going to be driving the family.

So your young adult daughter doesn’t drink, Sunshine? I guess she is an example of the Sober Curious movement that Bydrie saw on the news. Maybe the tide is turning!

Lav, my 16 y/o daughter is busy cleaning & vacuuming the interior of her car today too because, if she passes the test, she’ll get her drivers license this week!

Ava, I think my twin sister is still sober! She had an intake evaluation on Tuesday for an intensive outpatient program, probably similar to the one [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] did, but she’s not sure if she’ll go through with it or not as oftentimes she feels like the programs make her want to drink more than they make her not want to drink; so not sure what will happen there.

Guitarista, just a couple more sleeps and you’ll be off on your travel adventure, sharing music and meeting new chicas! Godspeed, and I hope your many months of sobriety will hold you steady!

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

FP - I did that same thing. Was seeing a therapist about everything BUT drinking. When I finally came clean to her, it was the moment that it all turned around for me. I couldn't lie to her and even if I did, once the cat was out of the bag it wouldn't have worked. All part of the "acceptance" of the problem that was so key for me.

So true about not being able to put the genie back in the bottle. My one-on-one may take 8-10 weeks to happen, but it's gonna happen properly when it does! Plus "acceptance" really seems to be key. I fought the idea of acceptance and surrender for years and years - it seemed so passive or something. But now I *get* it.

best thing is to stay connected here,from the outside it might not look like support to other people but IT IS! Just as supportive as going to AA or another alcohol support group but you hafta show up and use it day by day that's what we're here for

Oh, this really is a community here. Thank you all so much for creating it.

I know I go on, and this has been so stressful but I needed to get it off my mind and give hubby and daughter a break.
I am sorry if I get on here and air all my dirty laundry too much. Holding it in is just a recipe for a slip. I will not let my sobriety lose its priority.

Sunrise, see Pauly above - "that's what we're here for". It really is and we are all airing our laundry, clean and dirty.

I'm doing well. Blood tests done today and results to be discussed in two weeks. I'm still super exhausted but absolutely zero cravings. I have literally NO TIME for AV. It gets shut down quickly and firmly. I just can't be bothered with its nonsense at the moment.

Have a great night everyone and a great not-hungover morning tomorrow.
TiredButSoberPuppy

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

We’re back from camping, and I’m glad to be home! Taking a break now after the unpack / grocery / laundry / dinner tasks… it’s nice to sit down.

New Sunrise, I totally understand offering home to family - but I understand the apprehension too! My mom and step dad lived with us for two months before I gave birth, and I was so happy to help them, but also happy to see them go. Congrats on 60 days!! And vent away… it is ALWAYS better than drinking!

HAPPY 2000 PAV! Hope you celebrated. Thank you for being here and sharing so much of what works and doesn’t for you. Huge milestone!!!

Wagmore, congrats to you also at 1035…. Isn’t it nice to feel confident enough in this new life to lose track?

Ferral Pup… glad you are getting evaluations. I definitely recommend being honest with them all. I visited a “drug and alcohol” therapist for a few months, and talked to her about everything EXCEPT drinking… what’s that about?? I really thought I could continue drinking while I fixed the other parts of my life. Turns out I had to do both, and I couldn’t do one without the other.

Sober Curious Byrdie?? That sounds wonderful. I absolutely DO think that drinking will find a back seat some day. Just not sure how soon.

Oh I do love my bed. Yes I do. It’s one of the best things about being sober… I don’t fall into it (well, sometimes I do), but I don’t just pass out in it, I lay there and think about how comfortable I am and how wonderful it is that I can relax to the max for a good night’s sleep.

I am a little annoyed with my family though about what I eat. I have excluded three things from my diet… dairy, gluten and alcohol. That’s it. 3. Granted, two of those things are in much of the food out there… but they give me grief about being picky. I know it’s just that they don’t have the self-discipline to avoid the things they should avoid, but sheesh! I’m annoyed. The difference is that I will occasionally cave on the dairy and gluten, but I will NEVER cave on alcohol. And they know that now. Maybe it’s just time and consistency wit the food too?

Take care everyone!

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone

Pavati, congratulations on your 2,000 days, and Wags on over 1000 days sober! The round numbers really have a nice ring to them! :welldone:

Mr G, Bon Voyage, have an amazing trip (though why would anyone wanna leave Melbourne at this time of year?! lol)

peace,
Steady

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All and Thank You All!

It is amazing what getting on here and getting a good night's sleep will do. I have to be honest, I got on here and felt so much relief putting it all down here, sat down on the couch to watch TV and was out like a light! I started falling asleep and hubby just looked at me and said it was okay, the day was pretty draining. I think he was glad for me to shut my mouth.

I just have to let this all go, his sister and my son. How it works out, it works out and I have no control over any of it. I do have control over me and how I act. I can do my best and that is all I can do. Son's guilty conscious is on him, and his sister's problems are hers. I did my best to answer aunt and not upset her any further, but you know I was not the one to upset her to begin with. What she choses to believe is up to her. She is one very smart woman, and a very proper southern woman at that. I am sure she can read between the lines.

I am in a better place today. I did tell daughter not to answer my phone again, I think I left that out because I would not have answered his call to begin with. I also told her that if he calls me and then turns around and calls her for her to tell him I am busy or not home. Got to cover all bases. I will not talk to SIL either, she can talk to husband. I have had enough for a couple of days and it is time to put myself in time out.

Sol- I am so very thankful that daughter does not drink at all. She knows her uncles and they are pretty bad. She has lived with me and since she is not blind, she doesn't want to go there. She is very well aware that alcoholism runs in families and we are 3 for 3 in my family. I am the only one who started drinking later in life and saw how fast I was going down hill twice now. She doesn't talk to me about it but she knows. Slo, I do hope that your sister does go for treatment. I am sure a lot of it is just not really wanting to commit to not drinking yet. I hope when she thinks about it she sees that she has no choice if she wants a healthy life.

Feral- Thanks for the post! I do need all the encouragement that I can get. It is great that you are telling your therapist about your drinking. The therapist can help a whole lot better when she has a complete picture. You will not regret it at all. It is wonderful that you are willing to be rigorously honest, it will show you to a much better place.

Kensho- I am glad you had a good camping trip! There really is no place like home and your own bed.

Guitarista- Have a great AF trip! I am sure you will have a great time playing music.

Not sure yet what is going on with hubby yet. The office doesn't open till 8:30 and he has to make a trip in for some analyzers so he should know then. It would be great to have him home for another day. Everyday he is home is so much better. He got the legs off the table for me last night while I slept so I will start on that before it gets too warm. The pool is an absolute joy right now. We had fun in it yesterday, I did actually have some fun yesterday. Hubby set up the volley ball net and we played in the pool, him against daughter and me. He absolutely creamed us!

Happy Sober Monday to all! I will do my best to stay away from drama for sure!