Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,yup I was a small kid in the 80's living in a small town so I definitely got driven around by drunks! My uncle used to drive with a beer in his lap and had a beer tab chain as a decoration in his truck,strung up kinda like Christmas lights,times sure have changed thank goodness,Slo,glad to hear your sister is doing well New Sunrise,vent away we love our families but damn they cause lots of stress,I've chosen to let it go I guess with mine,this time last year I was on a 14 day bender, didn't realize it was that bad til I looked at my planner last night,yikes doesn't get much worse than that,glad this year is different,so much I want to comment on but need to fix my face and fro for work have a great AF day all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All--

Husband and I took a quick overnight trip out of town. It was just what the doctor ordered. Ready to face whatever I have to today.

Sunrise - Humans are so weird. Your son obviously needed an excuse to call you and obviously felt guilty. You are correct that you can't control them - only your reaction to them. It is so frustrating to be misunderstood, however, and to have to take the high road. Good for you for doing so - it will come out right in the long run. Venting here is one of the reasons we're here. Better here than into a bottle.

FP - Glad you're feeling so strong in your quit. Keep it up.

Slo - Glad to hear your sis is still sober. Is she doing something for her community?

Welcome back, Kensho.

On Memorial Day many years ago I drank all day. When I got home, I couldn't sleep, and I had a crazy, weird-dream filled, anxiety filled night. It was AWFUL. I remember telling my therapist, but leaving out key details, and having her say something like - wow, we learn these lessons from time to time, I'm sure you won't drink a lot for a while. I took her response as giving me license to keep drinking - neglecting the fact that leaving out key details showed me in a much more favorable light. It is memories like these that keep me focused. Thank goodness I never have to feel like that again!

Running off to work. Happy SOBER Tuesday.

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. Just checking in, I will write more when I have time. Your posts are great

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Glad you had a good holiday Kensho. Just ignore the naysayers and walk away, your body, your life. Damn i love my bed, if i could hibernate all winter that would not be an issue for me. I had to drag myself out of the warmth at 4.15 and began thinking of ways i could stay home. I could have as i can work from home but i feel guilty.

Sunrise, family, who can pick them. I remember my son telling me once to let it all go with my mother, that she wasnt that bad and i was being a bitch, well that is until she got on the wrong end of her anger and now he understands what she is like. Manipulative and plays the victim and throws a guilt trip on you. I just bided my time and she proved me right. I just walk away from her now. if she throws any guilt on me, i just tell her nicely i dont have time, i work etc. She doesnt like it but she is learning and i have learnt to put my foot down and think of me first and foremost.

Pauly, my life was a bender when i drank. i just cant imagine how i ever drank every day of the week and 2 bottles of wine and more. My son bought up something about my drinking the other day and i had a cringe at what he said. Reminds me of why i dont drink.

Pav, yes i left out the key detail of a lot of my issues but now i have told the smoking support person, the psychologist and my gp. It really keeps me accountable. I would have way too many people to shamefully tell i had drank if i did relapse.

Hi Steady, i hope you are well and enjoying the cold weather. Now if only i could be a bear.

back to the grind, hoping to leave early today.

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunrise, these folks here know more about me than anyone on earth. If something is eating at me, I share it here and get input on it, it really helps. Sometimes just getting it out of my head helps tremendously. A friend of mine always says, ‘A trouble shared is halved and a joy shared is doubled’. I like that, and I believe it.
I’m sorry your hubs hurt your feelings, I hate it when mine pulls out a painful memory from my drinking past. Ouch is all I can say and that’s not me anymore. If he calls me a hag these days, I got nothing to blame! YIKES! Thinking of you and your family situation.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Checking in between thunder storms, haha! We've had all the weather warnings - severe storm, flooding & even tornado. Weather is just crazy anymore.
Went out to lunch with my former work friends today, a great group. One is moving to FL next month so we likely won't see her again. We have great memories together though.

Great to see everyone's posts. Never be afraid to share your thoughts, feelings or fears here. Together we are a strong bunch & can handle just about anything

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, another sober Memorial Day in the books. I can't recall specifically, but I think Mem Day 3 years ago was when I knew I'd hit the bottom of the barrel drinking-wise and that I was ruining my health. It took two more months to finally quit, and when I did it was with firm resolve to save my life.

This year on the other hand, I've been working like crazy and gratefully making money to pay off debt that started and still lingers from my car accident loss of work in 2017. I've nearly paid it all off now, and when I do THAT will feel pretty fantastic.

As I mentioned in my last post, I've just got to make it through Sunday and then I've got about a week of a very light schedule. I'm actually toying with keeping it pretty light through about mid-July, because I know another big wave of opportunities will come during the months of Aug-Oct/Nov so it might make sense to sort of store away some energy this summer so that I can handle that peak season.

Glad to see everyone is mostly doing well, aside from the fact that sobriety is not, in fact, rainbows and unicorns I agree with @Byrdie and others - it is 1000 times better than drinking life was, but there are still some very hard times for sure!

Ok, I should head off and prep for another full day. I promised my dad a morning of help for various errands and chores, and then I've got a pm full of tutoring sessions. Have fantastic days and eves everyone!!!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, happy Wednesday.
I have spent the last 2 hours applying for jobs, ugh. I am trying to stay upbeat but it is tough. I am glad you are paying off your debt Wags, I hope I will be in that position soon.

Ava, yeah I can see how that would make your cringe when your son mentioned you drinking. That stuff is good to be left in the dust. I hate thinking about some of the stupid things I did but that helps me not to drink again.

Lav, we are having amazing weather here. Today it is going to 29C, which is awesome after -30 for 2 months. It is a bit hazy though, there are tons of forest fires in our province right now which sucks.

Have a good one and dont drink today xo.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Glad to hear you are having some nice weather Nar, -30, like really, who would live there ha ha.

Lav, we are getting lots of rain which is good but the roads are so slippery, it has been a dry summer. I am grateful i start work early as the roads will be horrendous in peak hour.

I meant to mention yesterday that my step father who was an alcoholic used to go into town every Saturday and drink at the pub for hours. He was drunk every Saturday and used to drive us home. one time he was so drunk he got me to drive and i was about 13 maybe. needless to say i drove us into a ditch. My mother used to let us go with him, i just dont get that now. Back in those days my mother did not drink but has certainly made up for it in the past twenty years or so. I also remember having little glasses of wine at celebrations like xmas etc around the dinner table. So glad those days are long gone.

Wags, great work on nearly paying off that loan, i know getting my car re-registered after 5 years was a milestone for me, the money i have now from not drinking and smoking still amazes me.

Slo, that is good news about your sister. I hope she does do the program or finds support that suits her, as we know its great to be around others that understand being an alcoholic even if it is hard to admit. I do enjoy living without the shame of being an alcoholic now, i am what i am and i am not anymore. Im happily a non drinker and a non smoker.

Well back to the grind, time for a coffee and to face the day. I seem to get to work and find more paperwork to do than when i left.

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends.

Stick with it Nar. 29C?!!! Whaaaa?! Raaawkin.

Gr8 work Wags!

Don't work too hard Ava!

I fly out in a few hours. Will have wifi most of the time so will check in with some stories.

Big waves! Have a bewdy out there y'all.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, ev'body! G, how exciting that you are about to board a plane and see the world! I'm so happy for you, we will be there in spirit, so don't forget to throw us a bone every now and then (photos!). Travel safely!

I'm telling you, this job! I am still playing catch up from having been out most of last week. I finally got all my quotes done and sent to my project manager for review. One has been sitting there since last Thursday. So I asked him about it and he said he's been too busy, he looked at it while I was on the phone and said I need to redo it using all different equipment. He said the tech up there in NH didn't know how to install this new stuff. Pardon me, but shouldn't someone be training our techs on how to install the stuff they are pushing us to sell? So I had to redo the whole quote. I tell you, I just know Alan Funt is going to sping out of a wall and tell me to SMILE, You're On Candid Camera! Then the guy I share an account with (the one who has an AL problem) tells me to send him a text to remind him about a call we have tomorrow. I said, Sport, if you are in the busniess long enough you are going to need a pencil. I'm sorry, I'm not his personal secretary. He can make a note as well as I can. This job has certainly been a test of patience.

It has made me so thankful that I am getting thru it sober. I had a dream last night and it scared me. I was up north and Martha Stewart was pressuring me to have a drink with her. WTH?? I asked if she had any cheese instead. What scared me is that I was considering it! Sheesh.

Happy Hump day to all, stay strong, even if Martha Stewart is on your case to drink! :haha: Byrdie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Checking in with everybody here.
I was out of town this weekend, down in St. Louis helping a SIL pack to move. It was pretty nice, and nice to have a “project” to do together, and got some more practice in with going out to eat / socializing with her & her friends sans alcohol. But “there’s no place like home” and my own bed!

Kensho, I too am alcohol-free, and mostly dairy-free & wheat-free (to treat my vitamin A overload), and those went more & more out the window as the days went by while I was away, because gluten & dairy is in practically everything! I felt odd already for not drinking wine when her friend invited us out for happy hour, so then I accepted her next suggestion to go to the ice cream stand as I felt weird about refusing everything. And highway traveling for hours on end is a really hard place to be gluten-free & dairy-free. So I feel ya!

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], so nice that you got out for lunch with your “comrades” from the trenches! Sorry you’re losing one to Florida.

Byrd, your colleague sounds like my husband over the years, always asking me to “remind him” about everything. I agree with you: it’s just as easy for him to write a note as for me to!

Wags, I can see why you might like a lighter schedule through early Summer, so you’re ready to go full-force during the busy time.

Nice that you got a little time away, Pav. You & Wags both have Memorial Day heavy-drinking memories.
I was chilled as a child by the story that the next door lady had been married before, and she & her young husband & baby son while driving on Memorial Day were hit by a drunk driver, and her husband & baby were killed. That accident was the explanation for why she got frequent headaches and suffered depressive bouts.
I’m sure you understand, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION]. Also, it’s sad that you’re in debt for a car accident that wasn’t your fault!

Tired Puppy, I too have found that acceptance is the big key to remaining AF. Acceptance that I can’t drink normally & safely, and never will be able to again. Yes, the genie is out of the bottle.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just had a big storm here & we still have power ~ amazing! There was another tornado in a nearby county, geez.

`Wags, I’m so glad to hear you are working your way thru the fallout of the accident. You certainly will be happy to finish up paying the bills & remember to be proud of yourself too!

Narilly, is the job market really that tight in your location? That’s such a shame, I can see why people get frustrated.
Enjoy the weather in the meantime & remember to hang in there

Ava, I used to go to work before the rest of the world was even getting out of bed, haha! I loved being alone on the road especially when the weather was not ideal. Hope you had a good day.

G, wishing you safe travels & an excellent vacation! Don’t forget to entertain the rest of us with a few pics

Byrdie, some people just always seem to need a personal social secretary, haha! I wouldn’t bother reminding him of his duties. That’s his job not yours!
About Martha Stewart - she would be about the last person in the world I would want to sit & drink with, LOL
I always thought she was seriously annoying.
I saw something on FB a little while ago, made me grateful that we no longer drink. Can you imagine???
High Key Wine Co. on Instagram: “Anybody grilling this weekend? Make sure to stock up on all of the essentials 🍷+🍔🌭= 😍 #bringtheparty #highkeywine #pouchlife #winepouch…”

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pretty quiet in the nest these past few days, but seems like folks are mostly doing well. If you're lurking, needing support, or just popping by to say hi please do!

Nar - I hope the right job for you is just around the corner! Maybe the silver lining to the long search is that you'll end up with something fantastic instead of having to settle for something that's just ok.

G - Buen viaje amigo! Cannot wait for your stories, pics, etc. I love traveling so much, especially Latin America, so I am super jealous but also really happy you're living such an adventurous AF life. Let us know you've arrived safely and drop a few updates when you can.

Ava, Lav, and everyone else experiencing some extreme or bad weather - hope it all passes soon (although please don't send it here!). The middle of the U.S. has been hit really hard by some bad and numerous tornadoes this week. I hope you all are safe, and Ava, glad you're able to commute when the roads aren't at their peak.


Happy Thursday-into-Friday everyone!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Byrdie haha Martha Stewart trying to get you to drink just sounds funny I had wanting to drink feeling yesterday for some reason,I feel like my days are kind of mundane with the same thing over and over,sure I'm not drinking but I just wish I could feel elated,I have bouts of happiness but I miss that giddiness sometimes I guess,I need to get this outta my mind or else it'll fester that's for sure,Wags it has been quiet here,missing New Sunrise and Belle, FeralPuppy,and some others hope they check in,safe travels Mr.G and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day for us all!