Newbies Nest

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

Well, vacation time at home is ending . Hubby is to fly out tomorrow morning to Boston area with several jobs. Kind of scared me because his boss told him that he would be sure to have him home by July 4 :egad:! I had to remind him I have a test coming up on the 11th and told him 2 weeks ago about it so he could take me. His boss said no problem. I hope it wont be. They never really keep him out for more than 2 weeks at a time anyhow.

All has been calm here this week, no great drama with SIL or son!

Thanks for your support on the cruise decision, everyone. Feral thanks for the definition of manipulation! That is what they did to us last year! We started in about Oct., he would be working Christmas, he would not be, he would be, he would not be...I finally said fine, I was really hurting with my neck, tired still because of the move and I could only sleep about 2-3 hours at a time then from pain, come in February. He then decided to come the week before Christmas because he wanted to see us for Christmas, when in reality they wanted a place to stay and go to the parks. The first morning they were here she announced to son that her mother was going to just do steaks for Christmas dinner so there would be no left overs for when they went to the beach for New Years. Geeze, she started off throwing us all under the bus, blew son's cover big time.

Avail- When we start talking holidays again, if we do, I will just tell him then that we are going on a cruise. If he balks about it, I will just let him know that GF will be so much more comfortable with her family and his significant other should come first, which under normal circumstances her wishes should. I will not mention them coming down at another time. There is a chance he may not even mention the holidays to me. Who knows how this will turn. We just want to enjoy the holidays.

Lav, that is something about Gin and Tonic pops! Holy cow, to drink and be out in the heat. I know I couldn't do it and that is a recipe for disaster for kids who think they are invincible.

Avail- I am glad your son saw how his dad's fiancé reacted to your ex's drinking. It is just a great affirmation of how you handled it. For my ex, my daughter saw him go through many girl friends because they would get attached and find he was sleeping with someone on the side. He was a slug. I don't know how I didn't see it for so many years, but then again that is not something I wanted to see either.

Avail- the dying over addiction is heart breaking. I have heard of too many over these last years. I am sure my older brother is going that far. I thought about him earlier this morning and how I have not heard from him in awhile. I guess I should call him but that is never a good call to make.

Feral- take care of yourself in what ever way you need too, you are doing great! I am still going through fits of good sleep and bad, but I have to say that I am sleeping so much better most nights. I do hate the drunk dreams but those are few and far between. I am just so happy when I wake up and I know that I am not hung over and that I have the day in front of me that I can be successful with even if the one thing I do all day is not drink.

Matt- good for you! 5 years!:welldone:! It is nice to meet you!

Mary Lou, good to meet you too! I hope you have a wonderful trip to NC. Cards Against Humanity is a hoot! I have played that several time with my kids and we laughed through the whole game. My husband is a character playing it, he tries so hard to be logical about who put down what and there is no logic to the game. He then turns around and puts down the most ridiculous cards and we never get him!

Today, is laundry day and getting hubby ready to leave, also grocery shopping. Daughter will come with me today so that is a good thing. Hubby has literally eaten everything not nailed down this week. I just don't know how he does it.

Happy Sober Saturday all! Back to the real world for me!

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome back! It was not my intention to be out of the MWO loop for so long and I really missed it. As my other support group began to fizzle out a bit I found myself attempting to deal with my daily life issues on my own, and although pretty damn hard headed, I still have vivid memories of the debris field I left behind before when I tried to "fix" things on my own.
Coming up on 5 years feels almost surreal but I know I can not let my guard down. Recently a dear friend, mentor/ coworker to my wife in her profession, with several years of sobriety, decided it would be different this time and began to drink. A few weeks after this decision she received her 2nd DWI/DUI and was forced to resign. A 30+ year career in education with just a few years away from being able to retire with full pension match was pissed away. All because of that first drink, not the drink that put her over the legal limit, it was the first that put the wheels in motion. In speaking with her, she was floored at how fast almost immediate, the ability to pick up where she had left off so many years ago. It's like an eternal tolerance-

"Remember that we deal with alcohol — cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too
much for us"

Really is great to be back,
Stay Hard!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Matt - missed that "stay hard" admonition! Glad you popped in. That is very sad about your wife's friend - stories like those are why I come here and post or read almost every day. I have the "feeling" I'd be ok, but I've seen that feeling crap out on so many people. I can't wait to celebrate with you in August.

Wags, any long hikes planned this summer? Adventures? I think I have to stay close to home because we're paying for college, but I like to live vicariously.

LC - How are you?? Hope all is good.

Sunrise - I actually can't stand the holidays largely because of what you're going through. Everyone has expectations, ideas about what should be, traditions, etc., and they are often not met. I prefer to go away - I have twice and I think my family was floored. My husband and sons love the family and traditions, so I play nice, but blech.

Gotta run. Happy SOBER Saturday,

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a hot & sunny day here instead of flooding rain so I guess I won’t complain, much, ha ha!

Matt, I had my 10th anniversary in March & I’m telling you I am still scared to death to even think about having ‘just one’. No way, it’s not worth destroying the mindpeace which I have grown to love
Sorry about your wife’s friend, what a shame.

Pav, I ahve less interest in the holidays too but I think it’s because I’m old, LOL. I do like to be sure the grandkids are happy though, not so much everyone else. It’s gotten to be way too much work for one day.

New Sunrise, just stick to your plan while your husband is away. Do it for YOU so you can continue to be proud of your success

Wags, a sippy cup full of booze, ha ha I can see the ads for that. Some people will fall for anything. I’m stubborn, ads don’t work very well on me, haha!

MaryLou, great to see you & hear that you are doing well. Enjoy those grandkids & have a great trip!!

Feral Puppy, Kensho, Byrdie, hello to all of you!

I’m excited to go see my granddaughter’s dance recital tomorrow.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
Just a fly by to say hello! I've been busy, but sober!
I will have some time this afternoon to read back and catch up.
Wishing everyone a lovely Sunday!xx

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday morning!

Nice to see two new-old faces (old-new faces?). I like to think that when people drift away from communities like this that they continue to do well.

I'm doing well also. No further signs of PAWS, so maybe I'll get off lightly on that one. My AV has been MIA lately - no objections here! It's been entirely silent for a couple of weeks now.

Oh, and for the record (my record really, should I need to look back), my anxiety, diagnosed as a disorder more than once, is getting a lot better even with the move to a new city and some difficulty getting the right employment situation. That anxiety is one reason I stopped drinking when I did - it was almost intolerable with the *temporary* lifestyle challenges of the changes I had embarked on. Same deal with the various forms of chronic pain that blight my life - since quitting drinking the pain is considerably less. :yay:

Have a great SOBER Sunday, fellow nesters.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt, in my years here at MWO I have seen so many stories like that of your wife’s coworker. It NEVER works out for us to dip our toe back in the water. As much as we all want to think we’re different or we have learned our lesson, addiction is a different animal as opposed to a bad habit. I think it goes down to the DNA level, it’s just something we cannot control. Like Lav, the thought of starting over scares me to death, I’m not sure I could ever get back to what I have now. No drink is worth that risk. I love that quote you mentioned....it was pretty obvious I couldn’t get sober alone. In fact, even with a whole community behind me, it took everything I had. AL is ruthless.

Hoping for for a relaxing Sunday! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All!

Matt, thanks for sharing that story, days like today, I need to hear that.

Hubby has left , so the same old feelings rear their head, too many years of habit, but I have you guys and that helps A LOT! We had so much fun together last week, this is why we moved down here. It is like living on vacation to us, as long as we do not get a hurricane. Hubby really didn't want me gone to the war zone long yesterday. I normally stop at a couple of places where I know I can good prices and it is a shopping excursion. He wanted me to get what I needed and back home so we could enjoy our day together. I surely found a keeper with him! He hated leaving this morning, he had too good of a time also.

I realized yesterday after I got off here that I called the grocery store, the grocery store instead of the war zone. Progress! Looking at things normally at short glimpses of time. It will be the war zone tomorrow and I have to remember that, I can't get too comfortable.

I am so glad to hear everyone doing well. Feral Pup, you are doing great! I have lots planned for this week so that is a good thing. I have my table to start refinishing, some shrubs to trim (hubby hates that job), and a closet to clean, along with my office/ craft room. There is the pool to fill in the hot points of the day and a book I started. The book started out appropriately for a mystery. The main character in the book wakes up in the first chapter not really knowing what is going on while waking and thinking how she should not have drank so much the night before, she needed to stop doing that on weekdays, and then she repeats the very next night. Gee, been there, done that and even dreamt about it this week. Makes you think that author has been there herself.

So now, on with my day. The first day hubby is away is always the hardest, but I can get through hard. I just have to get through today and if anyone should happen to call today, they can leave a message. I am not doing drama today and I know it will pop its head out at some point, but I am not dealing with it today.

Happy Sober Sunday all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy SOBER Sunday, folks.

We went to two birthday parties last night and had a ton of fun seeing old and new friends. I think I turned out my light at 12:30 which is like morning to me practically. I woke up a bit groggy and stiff in the hips, but SO VERY GRATEFUL I am not hungover. I think of a few people I was with last night who will NOT feel well today, and I am actually feeling a bit smug about it. I had a really fun time, and I didn't need/miss booze at all. Phew!

LC - glad you checked in. Hope you give yourself some breaks and self care.

Byrdie - I love when you tell it like it is. No way am I going to give that a chance either.

I have a lot going on today - helping my mom out, cooking for company tonight, and cleaning this dang house. It feels good to be productive and to keep busy - I can get in a funk pretty easily if I start being too lazy (although I don't know which causes which - sometimes the funk makes it hard to get off the couch).

This week I have evening events 6/7 days (actually, 7/8 if you consider Friday). Too much, but end of year stuff I can't get out of. I'm tired just thinking about it.

So glad I'm sober to get through it!

Take care of yourselves and don't drink no matter what!

Pav

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Matt - good to see you too, and really glad to hear you found a group that really understands your particular circumstances. First responders of all types have tough jobs and both see & deal with hard things, and most people outside that community can't fully understand. Great job on nearing 5 years!

Wagmor,
Thanks you nailed it- I cherish my career and fortunately the positive differences/ life saving efforts and attempts outweighed the bad; with that being said the bad sticks with you like luggage- I've wished my mind could forget what my eyes have seen, unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
I was definitely numbing my pain from this with AL for many years.....Being able to share and discuss these things with others battling the same has been a true blessing and intensified the healing.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Quick fly by check in. Good to see ya Matt!

4th day on the road and loving it. Just rolled in to Santa Marta Colombia. Raw and colourful. I like it! Off to find some grub. Hope all are doing ok.

Take it easy.

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Quick fly by check in. Good to see ya Matt!

4th day on the road and loving it. Just rolled in to Santa Marta Colombia. Raw and colourful. I like it! Off to find some grub. Hope all are doing ok.

Take it easy.

Likewise Brother!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Wet and cold morning which is no enticement to get up for work but here i am having a coffee and a read. cant get motivated this morning.

Thanks Mary for the 2000 days congrats, you are sounding great and lovely to see you pop in and see that life is so much better sober, who would have thought!

Hi Matt and great to see you say hello. 5 years in August, wow! How are the fam?

Lav, yes i would not trade the mind peace for the world. How was the dance recital? The dance of the innocent.

Sunrise, i hope your daughter finds something close to home, i love my daughters to bits and would live with them forever, the boys however, well i am trying to get one to move but he is firmly entrenched. i love him to bits also but they are just messy.

G, how is your trip going?

LC where are you and Belle where are you?

Hows things Slo?

Well back to work, i am just flaffing around today.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Just got home, had a great time at the very long (3.5 hrs) dance recital
All of the kids were awesome, ages 1st-12th grade. The dances were beautifully done, some ballet, jazz, tap, contemporary & even hip hop!
We took our ballerina & her parents out for dinner after.
These are the times I am especially grateful for my quit. I wouldn’t want to miss a minute of this happiness.

Ava, hope your day is going well.

G, thanks for checking in & please try to have a little fun, LOL

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning
Monday's can and often suck if I'm being honest, but they suck way worse with a hangover and all those problems are still there.

Like Pav & Lav alluded to, I spent most of the weekend at my youngest son's (12) baseball tournament. Makes me very grateful to have been there and actually remember it, and not spending my time planning my day of drinking.

Ava- yes 5 years soon! Exciting right. Family is all doing great, especially now that school is out for summer.

Make it a great day!