Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great advice about the party, Kensho. Even today, I eat before going to a party.
Another day on the crazy train.
So glad tomorrow is Friday. Stay strong, all! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Back to hot & humid here just as predicted.
Not much going on with me but that’s perfectly OK. My husband is out cutting grass with his new noise cancelling headphones on. His hearing sucks as it is & he bought this new tractor that is SO noisy. I bought them as a Father’s Day gift, should have gotten a pair for myself too.

Ava, getting up in the cold & dark to go to work is what I did for so long. I don’t miss it a bit. Hang in there :hug:

Great to see everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

I finally have a chance to post and I can post, I had to factory reset my computer to get it to work faster then a snail. I just don't know what happened to it, thought it was my wifi, which stinks, but it was the computer. It is nice to have it running well.

I am getting there with the table! I have the first coat of polyurethane drying, finally. I have refinished lots of pieces of furniture but it is amazing all that I forgot about doing it. Old age is catching up to me! With the help of YouTube it all came back to me and I am on my way. It was really starting to look like it was getting too expensive for the job, but I have relearned and I have plenty of supplies to do the chairs and anything else I want!

Yesterday was frustrating and boy did I want a drink and not want a drink at the same time. The thought of sitting by the pool with a glass of wine and just saying "f" it crossed my mind but I am OCD, or at least my daughter says so, and I would not have gotten anything done. I worked away and thought about how cravings for alcohol come up and the fantasy of how good it is rears it's ugly head. I have not smoked in 5 years after 25 years of smoking and it just doesn't cross my mind to smoke anymore. Like most ex-smokers, the smell of it just grosses me out, I wish wine were that way. It is getting better and it was well worth me not stopping and saying "f" it.

Murph, I am so glad you are on here and Kensho had such a great plan, I hope you can use some of it. During my first quit it was only a couple of weeks into my quit that I went to a very elaborate wedding. I remember timing a bathroom visit strategically to avoid the champagne toast. It was a member of ex-husband's family so it was easy to hang with the non drinkers. Most of ex's family did not drink. You can do it, even if it is one moment at a time. At events like that I would drink ginger ale and most people thought it was a mixed drink and I didn't feel out of place. The longer I was quit, the less it mattered to me.

Narilly, I am so sorry about your MIL. I truly loved mine. When she got sick it was heart breaking. She lasted so long also, winding up in a nursing home when we ran out of money for the home nursing she needed. It breaks my heart but I know she is happy now. Good luck on the job interview also! Daughter had another yesterday at a day care center and they seemed interested in her, but she was not pleased with what she saw. Good day cares are hard to find.

Guitarista, I am thinking of you and imagining you having all kinds of fun the sober way. It has to be great to play your music to a foreign crowd and have them enjoy it.

Lav, our weather is changing also, storms the last two nights and it doesn't look promising outside today. Here I thought I could sneak the pool in this afternoon with some lemon water. Tomorrow, when hubby is home.

Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful, sober Friday!

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning freaks :moonwalk:

With the Alky brain I have, I often find myself watching people when Al is around. A few evenings ago my wife had several of her girlfriends over so they could plan their trip they are taking together next month. I was listening to them talk about being on the beach sunning and sipping cocktails.
So the great host I am I remembered my wife had a bottle of coconut rum in the cabinet (with dust on it, mind you)
I approached three group and offered to make them a cocktail. Individually they all politely declined. I instantly thought "who the fuck does that"? They were almost giddy as they planned and discussed their trip and the were talking about having drinks yada yada and declined?
I didn't need a reminder that my Al mind is wired way different, however I damn sure got one that evening. Trying to look at it through their eyes I could not find one single legitimate reason for them not to be having a little nightcap. Of course this is coming from someone that only drank on days that ended in "Y"
Up until I had a few years of sobriety under my belt, I honestly do not remember ever having the ability to say "No" and then carry on without giving it another thought.

Make it a great day and
Stay hard!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Matt - TRUTH! My husband would leave the table with half a beer still left - I was incredulous. Who did that?? "Normal" drinkers are so weird!

Kensho - that list should be in the toolbox! The KEY for me was knowing I had my own way home if necessary. Have a good wedding, Murph, and I second the sober dancing.

Running late this morning. I'm dragging a bit and feel like I'm getting a cold. I'm going to fight through it, though. I don't have time for a cold...

Happy SOBER Friday.

Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ken, that was a great list. Yeah, I always keep a drink in my hand during a party and eat, eat, eat.

New Sun- good you didn't drink yesterday. Just let those drinking thoughts float by and don't hold on to them. They don't need your attention. You are doing great!

Matt - TRUTH! My husband would leave the table with half a beer still left - I was incredulous. Who did that?? "Normal" drinkers are so weird!

Normal drinkers are definitely weird. I go over to friend's houses and they have 1/2 a bottle of wine sitting on the counter because they didn't finish it or they have a box of wine in the fridge that has been there for a couple of weeks. Really? Those boxes of wine almost killed me, I tried not to buy them because I could not just leave them alone.
Pav- game on tonight! Raptors

Happy to be Un Hung this morning. I was up early and made some low carb granola, did some job hunting and interview prep. Its good to feel good.

Don't drink today! xo

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I have a friend who has been very supportive, and I've told her a lot about my quit and why / how I used to drink. She admitted that she was amazed at the details of how I drank and can't honestly imagine how it would be to want to finish other people's glasses, sneak alcohol at friends' homes, gulp wine on the way home, etc. We are wired differently for sure. Her husband is an alcoholic and she's just starting to understand it. He intentionally stays up late by himself to drink - I know he does this because I recognize it and the pieces fit. The distance he puts between them to allow for his love affair with alcohol is not helping their relationship.

I f'ed up my car this morning driving out of our garage. I was SO upset. Turns out, after allowing some time to cool down and evaluate options, it will cost much less than I thought (bummer, but not the $2K and insurance premium raise I thought it might be), and I can have it done Tuesday. I had to remind myself to sit with my discomfort because I was just frazzled and pissed. I will admit the worst part... it was because I was watching an interesting moth fly around the car as I pulled out. A hummingbird moth - we see them from time to time and it is a treat. An expensive treat it turns out. The lessons I'm being given by the universe are strange and I don't understand them, but I'll keep my cool and deal. Instead of drink. Maybe that's the lesson.

Good to be hearing from you again Matt. I agree..... WHO DOES THAT?!?!? I was excited to drink each and every night and would have taken you up, and tried to hide my enthusiasm.

AVA, you have no idea the amazement I have for your ability to wake at that hour. I don't think I could do it even if I was paid double. I love that thought about the next day being blank - so true really.

PAV, fight it!! Sick in the summer just isn't right. Shouldn't be allowed.

Keep up the good work everyone.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

One more thing.... there's a spirited woman named Holly Whitaker who has opened a door to her soul during her recovery process on her blog at www.hipsobirety.com. I love her. Mostly because she's raw and real, not so polished that she loses that content that you get with editing. Anyway, she's creating a new orginazation named The Tempest, to continue helping others leave drinking behind and heal. She described her name choice here, and I feel its so appropriate to our process, so I wanted to share:

"Tempest--which simply means “a violent storm”--made perfect sense to us, because what we do here is turn and face our storms. Here is where we stop running, start staying, and where we use the storm of our lives in order to build something from it. It is a call to action, a witness to our bravery, a reminder that everything we want starts here." -- Holly Whitaker

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Friday evening Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good day, I did

Kensho, the name Tempest is very fitting, I totally agree.
Building a new life after AL is why we are here. It is possible, many of us are doing that right now!
Sorry to hear about your car - ouch.

Narilly, I make granola too so I can have it dairy free. It’s easy & very tasty
It’s amazing how manufacturers sneak dairy into everything.

Nothing new with me, but that’s the way I like it these days, LOL
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Murph - belated welcome to the Nest! Hand in there - things will gradually get easier. It definitely helps to have a plan, and there are great suggestions here, in the Tool Box, etc. Really glad you're here with us.

Kensho - sorry about the car, but how cool about the hummingbird moth! Hope it turns out to be easy peasy (and inexpensive) to get your car fixed.

Matt - I personally can't figure out someone turning down a drink, but I guess normal drinkers do it all the time. Yikes, my focus was always on how I could sneak more and not have anyone know about it (although I'm sure they usually DID know).


Well, we're having a yard/garage sale tomorrow. I'm not super excited about it, but will be glad to get some stuff gone. We're committed to donating anything that doesn't sell, so even if we make $100 it'll feel like a big win. Slowly but surely downsizing our stuff!

Hope you all head into your weekends feeling strong and supported. Be sure to stop by here if you're needing reinforcements for your quit. We've got your back!

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

Still here, still sober.

The AV really kicked up a kerfuffle yesterday. It was the first day alone after an extended visit with my SO, so classic trigger for me. Actually, my main trigger. I organized my shopping and dog walking around timing, routes and getting too tired out to be tempted to go back out and buy any AL. Had a giant dinner and dessert and a lovely early summer evening on my balcony with a book. The next few days *should* be easier in comparison, but who knows what challenges lurk...?

In the interests of record-keeping, the crushing fatigue of the last few weeks is almost gone and my digestion seems to be somewhat normalized. Not drinking is helping with the worst of my anxiety and meditation is taking care of much of the rest of it. I'm also taking very long leisurely walks along the river with the dog - she's like a little kid splashing in the water and having fun. It makes me smile!!!

I'm feeling much happier with my new life in my new city. Even though it's not a bed of roses and some of the details have yet to come together, I'm pretty optimistic about this journey. Six weeks tomorrow...

Happy sober weekend, everyone!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Great work FPup. 6 weeks is yhhhuuuuuge! New city, smiling.....no limits mi amigo.

All the best with upcoming interviews Narilly.

Travels are fun here. Making a lot of music every night. A 4 hr hike at Tayrone national park yesterday through the jungle to the beaches was a little demanding on the way back, mainly coz of the heat, but beautiful country and beaches at the top of Colombia. Santa marta is a great little town of 400,000. Alittle rough, raw, colourful, friendly, hustlin and bustlin on the main streets, a little in yer face at times, but chilled in many ways too. Ordinary beaches due to it being a port city for container ships/trade, but a buzzing joint with smiling faces in the main. Many homeless and struggling people begging for a buck or food. Lots of hawkers plying their trade. Not as touristy as i would've thought, though apparently not the high season at the moment. Heaps of little bars and restaurants down small lanes and nooks and crannies everywhere. Above all a friendly relaxed vibe but full on in the main streets with traffic and noise. Not just any noise - The noise of life! I'm liking it. A few more days here then off to Peru. Raaawkin.

No ticket to boozeville here. Not interested in the slightest.

Big waves to y'all. X

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

“No ticket to boozeville here. Not interested in the slightest.” ?! That is awesome, G-man! Things like making music and scenic hiking & beaches take the place of it. Thanks for your colorful description of your, well, colorful environment that you’re traveling in!

Congratulations on 6 weeks this weekend, Feral Puppy. Nice that the fatigue part is lifting now! I’m glad that you’re getting a chance to practice not drinking when you’re apart from your SO, and before you might be living together full time.

Hope you get a good day for your yard sale tomorrow, Wagmor. It does feel like a relief to get rid of extra no-longer-needed stuff.

Kensho: want to finish other people’s drinks, sneak alcohol at other people’s homes, gulp wine on the way home...yes to all of those. We really are different from the normies. I used to easily leave an opened bottle of wine alone, but then -it all changed.

[murph54]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you, those are good ideas. I already told my husband if I say it is time to go, we go. I plan on drinking lots of water, dancing as much as these knees will allow, and being a social butterfly. I like the counting idea and watching others drink. Everyone in my family has a “drinking problem” but none will say the word alcoholic, except me. They Pooh Pooh it when I say I am. This, despite many involuntary commitments, jail, etc. I am proud that I can face reality and get help. I definitely will take my phone and head to the restroom if I feel the need. Thank you so much,

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

G, so happy you are having a lovely relaxing time and enjoying yourself. You sound so settled and happy this time around. Peace is a wonderful aspect of sobriety. Enjoy your next few days and Peru is definitely a destination i would love to go to.

FeralP, great work on 6 weeks and keep being vigilant. Being and keeping sober is a work in progress, as i always say Rome wasnt built in a day and neither was my sobriety.

Nar i used to have wine bottles under my bed, what normal drinker does that unless they are to paint or something ha ha. Now all i have is dust.

Murph, its great to have a plan. I know i felt very deprived my first wedding i went to as everyone was having such a great time but i went with those feelings and acknowledged that was what they were, feelings. We all handle our firsts differently but some great advice from Kensho. The pride you will feel after being sober after a first is pretty amazing and builds our sober muscles more.

Kensho, i can imagine myself doing something like you did with the hummingbird moth. I must google them. I hope the cost is not too expensive but hey your not drinking!

Slo, i hope you are well and your twin also. When is your big one year?

Carl has now learnt to jump off things, it is a pleasure watching him grow and learn new things. He waits for me to open my bedroom door in the morning and just loves his nana then comes back to bed and snuggles under the doona. Its getting cold for all of us now. I miss my mads but he has given the fam such pleasure in his short little life. Reminds me of both of my girls though he is his own little person or fluff ball. Loves his walks and running through puddles, loves peeing on every plant and just loves every human he comes across. Shame humans arent as friendly.

take care xx