Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, thank you for the Welcome and link. Congrats on 500+ days, I'm seriously envious in a good way

Hi, Happy, and welcome to the Nest!

When I joined, I so much wanted to BE the people here who were happily free of alcohol. I kept projecting into the future, trying to imagine what it would be like when I was that far along. It helped to see so many people actually doing it - it gave me confidence that I could, too. The GREAT news is - so can you!

In a recent post in the Army thread, @4theboyz shared this great quote that captures where we start, where we can get to, and where we never want to be again:

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello,
I'm new to MWO, on day 5 of no AL. I'm hoping to go on to Modders eventually, but I know that moderation is not possible for everyone, so I'll have to wait and see. I've ordered the supplements and the book, but my discomfort in staying away from AL at this point has been entirely with my thoughts.
The worst so far was when my husband wanted to go to our favorite nice restaurant Friday night (night 2). I said, "its going to be hard to go there and not have wine," because we had already made an agreement not to drink for 3 weeks. He replied that we could just share a bottle and have nothing more. I considered it for (a long) while, but told him later (thanks to MWO) that I would go, but I wasn't going to drink, and he decided not to drink as well. It was actually a really nice evening; I was shocked that we were able to do it and still have a good time. It's gotta be the first weekend in 20 years or more that I haven't had a drink or 10, and I have NEVER gone to a nice restaurant and not had wine.
Reading the many threads has given me hope. Before I found MWO, maybe a month ago, I bought Antabuse online to use if I drank over 2 glasses a day. Of course, I did drink over that amount, but didn't start the Antabuse (another of many, many broken promises to myself). So, after my birthday last week (probably 6 drinks that night), I stopped drinking altogether without using the pills.
I'm feeling great, really amazed and proud to have gone 4 whole days. I was a pretty much every night drinker. I've been very functional in my life, and I think I have hurt only myself with my thoughts and judgements, but it's still no way to live, with so much anxiety about what I was doing to myself. My husband or I could have potentially hurt or killed people from drinking and driving over the years, but thank God, somehow we didn't.
I thank you all for being there and sharing. You have been the impetus for my AF journey.
P.S. What is an AV?

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome to you, too, @Touch

You sure gave your sober muscle a big workout really early in your quit and succeeded - Congratulations!

Giving yourself a period time with no drinking before you assess your situation is a great idea. After about a month, any physical effects are pretty much under control and your brain is clearer.

AV usually refers to 'alcoholic voice' - that toddler part of your brain that never shuts up when it wants something and acts like it will die without it.

It doesn't seem like it, but that voice is just a thought and if you don't pay attention to it or if you quiet it with food or another distraction, it really will pass.

From the outside, addiction didn't seem to be affecting my life much (I was a solo over-drinker) but others didn't know of the unread books, forgotten conversations, secretly re-watched so I could talk about them movies and TV shows, abandoned activities and relationships, hidden little bottles of wine, gulps from a box in a darkened corner of the kitchen, trips to different grocery stores because I was paranoid clerks were watching and judging me, or unnecessary purchases to somehow mask what I was really buying. But most of all they didn't know that I was being destroyed by living a lie and betraying my lifelong values, my self-confidence and self-worth were shattered, and I was starting not to care whether I lived or died. I only cared about getting my fix each and every day, no matter what the price. And it was a high one - I was not in control of those few parts of life we actually can control. That, more than the actual amounts consumed or external consequences such as DUIs define addiction for me.

I'm so glad you and [MENTION=24384]HappyHealthyFuture[/MENTION] are here and I hope you stick around. The Nest is at its best when there are people at all stages of this process posting. It is exciting to see people taking the first steps toward the lives they want and deserve. It is rewarding to see the people who quit after me succeeding, and it is motivating to see those ahead of me continue to blaze the trail and not give up no matter what life throws at them.

It is good for me to have typed out the above paragraph and remind myself what I really think. I'm at a yearly conference that used to be a drink-fest -- in fact, one of the few places I felt free to over-drink with witnesses (everyone else was doing it, so why not...). There have been several opportunities I could have taken and I'll admit, the dumb thought has crossed my mind several times. Tonight will be another big party (and the booze will be free!!) so I'm glad to have had the chance to remind my toddler brain to keep quiet. So, thank you. :hug: NS

[FeralPuppy]

Re: Newbies Nest

toddler brain

Hahaha! This is so funny and so true! I think it's going to be very helpful to me to remember this when dealing with my own AV.

I just came back from an appointment about the bloodwork that was done a couple of weeks ago. Much to my surprise, everything is fine. I can scarcely believe that all that drinking for so long hasn't done any damage (that can be detected at present...). I feel like I've dodged a dozen bullets!

Welcome, newcomers!!!!

HealthyPuppy

[abcowboy]

I’m a bit like you [MENTION=24382]Touch[/MENTION] in that I quit the day of my 58th birthday 4 years ago. The day before my birthday I was at the lowest I had ever been, and I literally tried to drink myself to death. I spent the evening and night in the hospital under suicide watch and when I was released in the morning, I knew I’d never drink again! You’ve got a great quit date, a memorable one, so just think next year at this time you’ll be one year sober. How will you accomplish that? One day at a time is how!

Of course this is all dependent on abstinence, total abstinence. The 30 days is a great suggestion, and it goes along well with a saying we use here; if only one, why not none...

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcone HHF and Touch!
We're glad you found us. Every single one of us can relate. The road to healing is scary and exciting at the same time. Like Cowboy said, we all do it the same way....one day, one minute at a time.
There are 10 years of great info here, if you've thought it, we've done it spend some time looking around, it is well worth it.

I think NoSugar and I may have an opportunity for a hug tomorrow at the airport! We have about a 5 minute window to work with! Gosh, I hope it works out, some of the closest relationships I have are with people here that I've never met!
Hugs to all, and wish us luck! Byrdie

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=NoSugar;1765680]Welcome to you, too, @Touch


From the outside, addiction didn't seem to be affecting my life much (I was a solo over-drinker) but others didn't know of the unread books, forgotten conversations, secretly re-watched so I could talk about them movies and TV shows, abandoned activities and relationships, hidden little bottles of wine, gulps from a box in a darkened corner of the kitchen, trips to different grocery stores because I was paranoid clerks were watching and judging me, or unnecessary purchases to somehow mask what I was really buying. But most of all they didn't know that I was being destroyed by living a lie and betraying my lifelong values, my self-confidence and self-worth were shattered, and I was starting not to care whether I lived or died. I only cared about getting my fix each and every day, no matter what the price. And it was a high one - I was not in control of those few parts of life we actually can control. That, more than the actual amounts consumed or external consequences such as DUIs define addiction for me.


Thank you NoSugar. You're right, there were a lot of lapses in my memory because of drinking, wasted time and I think selfishness about my time that excluded people who might not want to be in on drinking with me (or drinking as much as I did). I feel like I have a lot more free space in my brain now, without having to manage all of those things.
I've never even chatted on a board like this, so I don't think I'm doing it right, but hopefully the essence gets through. I really appreciate your thoughts, and good luck to you today! Free booze was always a big thing to me . . . sad.

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcone HHF and Touch!


I think NoSugar and I may have an opportunity for a hug tomorrow at the airport! We have about a 5 minute window to work with! Gosh, I hope it works out, some of the closest relationships I have are with people here that I've never met!
Hugs to all, and wish us luck! Byrdie

I hope you can; how great would that be! Thank you Byrdie!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I think NoSugar and I may have an opportunity for a hug tomorrow at the airport! We have about a 5 minute window to work with! Gosh, I hope it works out, some of the closest relationships I have are with people here that I've never met!
Hugs to all, and wish us luck! Byrdie

This is the first time EVER that I'm hoping my flight home is delayed -- I want that :hug:!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

It was a gloomy day here, rain, wind & of course lots of mud, haha!

Hello & welcome HHF & Touch, glad both of you found the nest. Settle in & make yourselves comfortable
I know you’ve heard it before but making a good working plan will help you meet your goals!

NS & Byrdie, meeting at the airport - how cool is that? I hope it happens
Wishing you both safe trips!

Wags, congrats on the successful yard sale. Have a fun & safe vacation!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.
I have to go pack up my IP veggie broth, hope it’s cooled enough. I love my IP

Lav

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you Lavande. I'm spending time on the tools thread to get some good advice about my plan. I loved the reply "I don't drink" to my AV thoughts, and used it today while I made dinner. :-)

[HappyHealthyFuture]

Re: Newbies Nest

HHFuture - Welcome to MWO and especially to the nest! Yep, we've pretty much all been in shoes similar to yours - the shoes of a new quit - either recently or awhile ago, and for many of us we wore them multiple times. Be sure to check out the Tool Box (see link in my signature line) for loads of great posts that have been identified as particularly helpful for starting or maintaining a non-drinking life. Really glad you're here.

Thank you for the Welcome Wagmor, appreciate it! I will definitely check out the Tool Box in your signature link.

[HappyHealthyFuture]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the Welcome Byrdlady and Lavande! yes scary for sure especially when I'm honest with myself about the reality of this addiction and yes exciting to think about how I can turn this around. Glad to be here, I already like it.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome to HHF and Touch, and good luck to you both!
Touch, that is great that you enjoyed your meal out without wine or any other booze for the first time! As long as your husband didn’t drink, then it was doable. Sounds like he’s kind of a heavy drinker too?

Glad your garage sale was profitable, Wagmor, and hope yours is too, Kensho!

Pav, I hope school is out and you’re getting a bit of a break from the over-heavy schedule.

A therapist I was seeing today for my low back degeneration with nerve problems told a story about two guy friends meeting up with her/them at a local tavern this weekend. They seemed already drunk, and got really angry at the bar because Guinness wasn’t available, so they took off in anger on their motorbikes without helmets, then ran into each other’s wheels a couple miles away while negotiating a turn and crashed. One has been taken off life support, and the other has brain swelling/head injury and other injuries. Score two for alcohol. What a waste!

Ava, I lost a budding quit at D2’s second wedding reception last July, and really overdid it & lost control after having been dry for three plus weeks. Then quit again the next day, July 22nd. So I will have just made one year sober for D3’s wedding this July 27th.

Well that’s fun, Byrdie & NS! Hope it works out that you meet!

Thinking of you all. Your inspiring stories keep me going!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!
:welcome: to this lovely Nest, HHF and Touch! I look forward to getting to know you better..
NS, what a great post.. thank you.
I can't stop smiling since reading of the possibility of you and Byrdie meeting up at the airport! I sure hope it happens.

It's been great to read back on all the posts..
Nar, I think you have an interview today that you were really looking forward to.. Wishing you a great one!!

I've got each of you in mind every day at some point. My great wall of support! Sorry I haven't been contributing much..
I've just been trying to stay above water with the killer heat and humidity, working in said weather, getting everything ready for our upcoming trip to visit my family. Going to Phx in June isn't the best plan in the world, but we have a big family reunion in CA that my dad was very keen to have us at. It will be nice (she repeats 100 times a day!:happy2.

Love and big hugs to you all..xx

Hi Kensho! I see you're in the Nest right now, too!