Newbies Nest

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, Slo. I guess we drink a bit differently. I think I drink more days of the week and tend to drink more by myself. He falls asleep earlier most nights but if we're around others, he often drinks more than I do. Last week he came to me and said, "lets not drink for 3 weeks". Weirdly, I had already decided that day to do the same, so we've been in agreement. We've both gained weight and that is his primary motivation for not drinking, but neither of us want to be controlled by our desire for AL. I'm definitely more tormented by my AV.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well, I’m at airport #1, hoping that seeing Byrdie at #2 works out!!

It is great to look at this process as an exciting adventure, [MENTION=24384]HappyHealthyFuture[/MENTION]! I tried to consider all the “firsts” as personal challenges. I prepared by imagining myself in the situations and “watching” myself handle it. Then, I just did that in real life. It sounds kind of crazy but I kind of missed all that as time being AF became the New Normal. This conference I’ve been at this past week was my first real challenge at four months AF several years ago. I logged on here several times a day and ended up in a bathroom stall texting a mentor during one tough social event. But, I made it and none of the subsequent years were a big deal.

Good to see you, LC :hug:. I’m glad to hear you’re doing ok. It will be fun to have you in a close time zone again soon. (At least there will be AC in Phx!)

Slo, I’m thrilled to hear your twin is doing well. She sure has a great role model!

Have a good day, Nesters. We’ll let you know if we pull off this meeting during a random airport connection. It is so amazing b/c this is the first time I’ve ever gone home via this particular airport.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, all:

Welcome Touch!

I've been very functional in my life, and I think I have hurt only myself with my thoughts and judgements, but it's still no way to live, with so much anxiety about what I was doing to myself.

Of course NS and I find the same thing to reply to, and of course she is eloquent with her reply. The most amazing thing to me in all of this is the fact that I am so much better in so many ways. I thought I was just hurting myself physically and mentally. When I finally had some good time without booze, i was able to see how much it was affecting my life in so many other ways. I have a much better relationship with my husband, I am present for my kids and other family and friends, I have more confidence at work (and in all relationships). I NEVER want to go back. I came here with the intention to moderate - I thought I could "learn" how to have an off switch that I'd been lacking my whole drinking life. I do think that 30 days will give you clarity, and I hope you stick around. When I look back in my journal from the year before I quit, the word that I wrote the most was "fear." I can tell you from 5 years in the future, life is so much better. Stay strong, even when your husband wants to drink. We're here for you.

NS and Byrdie - I am rooting for you. If you are both in the same place together the Alcohol-free force will be strong indeed. Waves of content sobriety will ripple across the land!

LC - I remember you really enjoyed your last visit to AZ - I know you like spending time with your dad. I miss you here, but am glad you're taking care of yourself. xo

Congratulations, Wags, on de-cluttering and earning some cash along the way. I'm jealous of your fire hut trip. Hope you have a fantastic time.

Nar - good luck on your job interview. Looks like the Warriors pulled out a victory last night - this is a good series...

Slo - regular school is over on Thursday, but we have summer school so I'm not too relaxed about it all. I'll get some time off later.

Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS and Byrdie - hoping you two get your hugs!!! How wonderful!

Nar - sending you good vibes for your interview today. I'm sure we all look forward to hearing how it went!

Touch - welcome! Really glad you're here with us and you're off to a good start. As you're already discovering, the tool box has great helpful posts for almost all occasions.

Slo - We share almost the exact same quit date! Mine is July 24. Can't wait to celebrate milestones with you

Kensho - we will have the fire lookout all to ourselves, although there's a small chance day hikers might pass by. During our previous stays at other ones, we basically saw nobody and it was part of what made it all so fabulous.


Hope everyone has fantastic Tue days and eves!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Welcome Touch and HHFuture. Good to see you. NS and Byrdy, did u meet up?

All's well here on the road. 3 weeks of adventure still left haha. Santa marta is a raw, colourful, vibrant, very friendly, rough around the edges kind a town. It's beautiful because of it's humanity. And it's hot. 33C average but feels like 38C is how a weather channel describes it here, and it's true. Makes sense given proximity to the equator. Glad there's a beach. Of course there are mountains nearby where it's cooler. Wags, i'm off to Lima on thursday, Machu pichuu a few days later for a 1 day look. Better find what bus git's me to the next town for my flight connection.

Big waves to evabody! x

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie’s flight is delayed 17 minutes :sad:.
Now the question is, do I hope mine out of here gets delayed, too??

I guess I’ll go with what is good either way - we get to meet or, I get home on time.

[HappyHealthyFuture]

Re: Newbies Nest

okay so I came on here because I've felt like having a drink for the last 20 minutes. I'm having something to eat and hoping that works. Of course my AV is telling me to just have a couple no one will know and then you can get back to quitting for now okay, so I know that's no true. This is my 3rd day, no thoughts until now but please please go away AV.

[abcowboy]

Way to go [MENTION=24384]HappyHealthyFuture[/MENTION]! Coming here, reading and posting when you feel the urge to drink are what these online forums are here for! Hopefully you kicked some AV butt!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

It’s just a dumb thought, HHF. I certainly don’t follow through on all my bad ideas! I might be in jail if I did. Coming here and posting was a great plan. You have friends here who know how it feels, and who know you’ll be so glad if you don’t do it! :hug:.

Here’s my awesome news!: I waited for last boarding call and Byrdie apparently flew from her arrival gate to my departure gate. We had time for 2 hugs and maybe 3 sentences. It was so amazing and wonderful to be with the woman who helped me change my life, even for a brief moment. I love you, Byrdie, and will forever be grateful. xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

That really warms my heart, dear NS and Byrdie.. what a wonderful chance encounter. Love to you both.

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wow! That's beautiful! So happy for you two :heartbeat:

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you wagmor. I appreciate the link you've posted because I'm not sure how to get there otherwise!:thumbsup:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Awesome NS & Byrdie

HHF, you’re doing great & remember it will get much easier. The first 3 days are the toughest!

G, keep on enjoying yourself

LC, I hope your trip to AZ is a good one. Getting ready for trips is not fun but once you’re there you can relax a bit. I imagine your girls are excited too.

Slo, that’s a very sad story about those guys. Life is so precious & can be gone in an instant. My nephew died on the road 16 years ago, he was just a few weeks out of high school.
Glad you are doing so well!

Hello to Pav, Wags, Touch, Cowboy & everyone checking in today.
My grandsons finished up their school year today & will be hanging out with me tomorrow, oh boy!!

Have a safe night in the nest everyone!
Lav

[Touch]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,
Just curious as to your thoughts. I have company coming to stay with me for the next week, (family). The husband doesn't drink and the wife is a normal drinker. She finishes a glass of wine, gets up, rinses her glass in the sink and is done. Imagine that!
I want her to feel comfortable having a glass of wine while she's here, and I would normally offer her one with dinner. I'm thinking of buying a non-alcoholic bottle of wine for me, just so she doesn't feel bad that I'm opening a bottle just for her. I'd pour the non-AL wine for myself.
I'm not feeling any pull toward drinking AL since I stopped (just finishing Day 6); it's frankly been a huge mental relief, and other than the 2nd night when I did have a mental battle about not drinking at the nice restaurant, I haven't had any more battles in my mind.
I have had a thought to have a drink while making dinner, which is when I normally would start, said "I don't drink" to that thought and that's been that. Physically, I'm feeling great and mentally, so grateful to be living without recrimination, rumination and guilt, especially at 3am!
I'm wondering whether you have done it or read of anyone doing something like that? How did it work out?
Thank you,
Touch

[HappyHealthyFuture]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's a nice little nugget of advice I read thing morning:

You are definitely more powerful than you may give yourself credit for. Human beings get stuck in ruts, and sometimes it feels that we can't change something because we've been acting that way so long that it is just part of who we are. You are not anything/behavior that depletes your majesty! If something has been running amok like a wild lion that you feel can't be self-controlled, think again. Every day you have the power to rise up and be excellent. You have the choice to direct your own life or leave it to the shadows. Being strong in the face of your inner beast can feel difficult at first, but with continued positive action the lion is always tamed.

Make at least three choices today that gives you power over the beast. This will affirm your strength.

Hope everyone has a decent day!