Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick hi from me. We are in Victoria, BC for my daughter’s graduation- BSc in biological science. What a kid!

I will celebrate with a big glass of club soda, oh yeah baby!

p.s. So cool that Byrdie and NS got to meet. I would have bawled my eyes out.

Xo

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh and Pav, Raptors are takin it TONIGHT!! Lol

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Belle, glad to see you again, sorry about your troubles. I was just thinking about you yesterday, really.
Just remember no amount of AL is going change the things going on in your life. You know what your stress triggers are so make a plan to handle them sans AL. Stick around with us, wandering away isn’t helpful to you & your long term goals :hug:

Touch, you are doing fine just starting on your journey. I remember wanting to solve all my problems immediately when I quit, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Like it or not we are in this for the long haul. I promise it gets easier.

Narilly, Congrats to your daughter! What area of science is her fav?

Sitting here in a thunderstorm at the moment. I think we’ll be done with rain for a few days after this.
My older grandson insisted on coming back for a few hours this afternoon. He likes the peaceful environment here, so he says, Ha ha!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Belle as you know and said it is only you that can put yourself on the right path with all of the support gathered around you and to use that support fully. We alkies have a litany of excuses to drink, we could all write a book on excuses to drink and justify why. You were sober for 5 years, sit and look at the how you did it, what you arent doing now that takes you back to drinking, what you need to get in to the right mind set. I know that we have to get to the right time time to stop and we have to feel ready. You have and are having a shitty time atm and drinking so doesnt help at all. It does take away the pain for a short time but then gives us more. Al is not our friend, its not our companion, it doesnt help us at all sort out our problems. If you had a friend like al in your life at the moment that took and took and took would you have them as a friend or in your life. I know i wouldnt. I would walk away from that person without a second thought. I would wipe them from my life and have no regrets.

I cant imagine losing my sobriety after 5 1/2 years and therefore i protect it each and every day. to me accountability is how i live my life being sober. If i am logging on here or talking about it, it reinforces my subconscious each and every day. I am now 10 weeks smoke free, i have my support, im attending a clinic, im seeing a psychologist, ive got my app and i tell all and sundry i am still smoke free. giving up any addiction is one day at a time, plodding along, saying no, walking away from things, not putting ourselves in situations that could entice us to continue with what we want to stop. Its hard work each and every day until its not. Not smoking is still hard work. Its different to drinking, i never woke up and drank (except at the very end of my drinking career), i never drank at work or in the car or after coffee or after breakfast. I had not been drinking from 14 though as i had with smoking. I did realise i had to take stopping smoking along the same lines as stopping al. Its taken me 5 years to stop after stopping drinking. But i am hopeful this is it and all i can do is get through today. You can do this Belle, you need your tools, you need to stop the merry go round and get off. You will lose everything and even though when drunk you may not care, you do or you would not be here. Sending you extra huge hugs and have faith in yourself, i do.

Oh Pav, i just told them how it is with my job it is their choice now on if they are sensible enough to keep me. its not about the money, its about acknowledging my worth in a job i love. my daughter asked me how much my pay rise was and i have no idea, i didnt ask, its not about that. God i never would have said that in my drinking days ha ha. Im happy with the outcome, i hope to be happier in 3 months when i get the same grade as the others. At the moment i am trying to get a coworker into a position that would suit her and be a real asset to our department. Will the heirachy listen that is the question. I told the Professor the other day that he had made 2 bad choices in employing staff, dont make a third! I think everyone just looked at me gobsmacked that i would say that to the head of our department but he is a person, he is not god.

Well i think i have waffled enough, though i have lots more to say. home sick, dr wont give me ab's so i am sure i will be back to see her.

take care
xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

I feel at home here with folks that truly understand. I managed to avoid a bump in the road by tossing down the sink the remains of half a bottle of wine that son used to make his mushroom dish last night. I just did not want that staring me down in the fridge so I got rid of it. Recycling day is tomorrow, so out went the empty bottle. I had hubby bring home take out from a bbq place. I just am out of ideas for what to cook here for dinner.

So many folks are and have been doing so great here. Ava, I send big congrats on stopping the smokes. I saw first hand how addictive and life threatening those things are, watching my dad slowly die for years from the effects. it was so hard to watch when "just stopping" smoking would have worked wonders. But of course I know from my drinking experience that there is a lot more than "just stopping".

Lav you must have that mother's intuition if you were thinking about me. you must have sensed I was headed towards trouble. I know it is only day one, and easy to say that I am done with drinking as I felt so crappy today; last night I again went to bed before hubby came home. Slowly all the booze is getting removed from the house, except for beer, which I don't really care for. I would like to say that this is my last first day, but one day at a time will tell.

I'm so tired tonight. Those damn GSR Brothers just would not leave me alone last night. They had better go else where tonight because they are not welcome here.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

A day at a time is all we have Belle. I like what Byrdy says......'All ya gotta do is just get through today'. Then rinse and repeat tomorrow, etc. etc.....Take care of yourself.

Great work on the smokes Ava.

I arrived in Lima Peru this arvo. 20C. a lot cooler than this morning in north west Colombia where you instantly sweat just walking down the street. Big waves to evabody.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

So much to read back on which will be my priority today. Im sick, feel like i have ingested 100 razor blades and they are all stuck in my throat. I had my work review yesterday and all we managed to talk about was my pay grade. The powers that be say i dont fit the criteria that i want and i told them i will give them 3 months to get the pay grade that i deserve. i train the people that they are giving the pay grade i deserve and yet i dont fit the criteria. Go figure. I was very proud of myself for stating my case, realising that i am worthwhile and i do do an exceptional job after 12 years and that i wont be walked over but treated with respect for what i bring to my job. I have told them if i dont get the grade i should be paid then i will be looking for other work. I didnt walk away wanting to drink AT anyone or smoke AT anyone. NEVER EVER EVER could i have stood up to myself when i was drinking, never would i have been rational and been able to state my case as i did. I would have been filled with anger and resentment. Now the ball is in their court, they have been told of my abilities and what i do, they know what they will lose. I will lose a job i love and people i enjoy working with but i wont be walked over any more. That feels empowering.

Will post more laters but needed to check in.

take care xx

Right on Ava! :thumbs:

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Those Raptors took it, Narilly!! And what a nail-biter: it was a close game!

There you are, Belle! You reminded me of that technique of going to sleep before husband comes home, so they won’t notice that we’re drunk.
No more! I don’t want to be controlled by ETOH any more!

Hope you’re starting to feel better, Ava. Sore throats are so painful.

Sweet that your grandson wants to be with you, Lav!

I’m flying to Texas today to visit D3 & her fiancé for the weekend. Last June when I did this it was a bit of a problem as I wasn’t drinking and the fiancé seemed to want drinking included into our activities, so I felt like I was putting a damper on things. This time his mother is coming too, and she seems to be the sort of woman who only sips on one sweet drink occasionally if the occasion calls for it, but doesn’t go out of her way to drink otherwise, so hopefully this will go well.

I was listening to the latest Bubble Hour podcast, and the person said that she had read a book called “My Way Out” when trying to moderate, and had tried the recommended supplements like kudzu root!

There is a moderation section here, Touch, but it is not active because, sadly, none of us have been able to successfully moderate. Not even the woman who started the site.

Best wishes to all for a good weekend! No tickets to Boozeville nowhere -not even at Machu Picchu nor in Anaheim!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Ava -

Its hard work each and every day until its not.

Love this - so true. Congratulations on the smokes!

Touch - I had a vacation planned with my good drinking buddies for 8 months after the day I quit. I did spend some time worrying about that trip, and like you I was mostly afraid of making it awkward for them. I got the good advice of taking it one day at a time - focusing on today. However, to be successful I also had to shut the door on alcohol forever, as I couldn't keep it in my mind as a possibility. It was too hard to decide not to drink every day. That has been the paradox for me - both forever AND one day at a time. The vacation was a blast, no one was awkward, and while they drank a lot at night, I smugly felt fine the next day while they didn't. It all worked out.

Nar - Congratulations on your team from The North. I'm sad for my warriors, especially the injured players, but we'll be back...

Belle - Sleep all you need. Take care.

Sunrise - that is such a sweet story about the chair. I've never re-finished wood, but I've heard it is hard. Good for you!

Slo - I thought I had listened to every Bubble Hour - I don't recall hearing the MWO reference. That's cool.

Happy Friday! I am excited for this weekend for sure.

Pav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Barely Morning All,

I have delayed posting this morning, I am just kinda down in the dumps today. I hate the swings in emotions, but they are better than drinking. I guess I am tired and missing hubby tremendously. It is Friday and it is his first day of work for the week, he will be working most of the weekend and into next week. He really doesn't get a Father's Day and that stinks, he deserves a good day. Our time together this week was not as fun as it usually is with bad weather and that test. I just have to pick myself and shut down this pity party.

Belle, I am really glad that you are getting on track. You can do this, one day at a time, one moment if you have too

Avail, I forgot to mention yesterday a great big pat on the back for you asking for that raise! I know it is tough and hubby went through that a few years ago. They used to give them annual raises and when the economy tanked they stopped. They stopped for a looong time and finally hubby had to say something. He does love his company and his job and it shows, he gets lots of job offers constantly. He finally had to put his foot down when he asked for a raise and was turned down. He just said fine, he had other offers and maybe he would now have to take them seriously. They coughed up the bucks pretty quick. I hope they do the same for you.

Lav, we have had a week of rain and it is about to drive me bonkers. I need my sunshine! I need my heat! I know you guys have had so much rain in the past months, you could probably go swimming without the pool. It is so nice that your grandson wants to spend time with you like that. I am sure he treasures the time he gets to spend with you.

Pav, refinishing wood is really not that hard at all, once you get YouTube to remind you how to do it.

Plan for today...watch these clouds that just popped up! I had to drain the pool some this morning and shock it and it should run for at least 4 hours. I am not sure I am going to get the 4 hours in.
...DON'T DRINK! I have had fleeting thoughts and grateful that I went to the store yesterday before I really let hubby leaving hit me
…Stay off Amazon! I am glad that I wasn't drinking last night because I decided to get my friend's daughter some baby gifts. I didn't get that much but was shocked at the cost! I could not afford a kid now, I have no idea how people do it now!
… Put some polyurethane in the chair and seats. I have not dragged myself to the garage for that yet.
… Just be grateful, that should help a lot!

Have a wonderful Sober Friday All!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning everyone! Glad to see all the oldies still here and some new faces.

Let me introduce myself. I'm the bag lady! I have been a repeat offender for 6 1/2 years since I started this journey.....what a waste of time! I'm back.....AGAIN.....on the sober train. Feeling good and will not drink today.

Have a great day everyone!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

just popping by on day 2 to say hi to all and that I WON'T BE DRINKING TODAY. I don't drink. That is my mantra that I have started saying to myself while being stuck at traffic lights. I am hoping that it will sink in.

Hope all are well. I have started an actual hobby...chalk painting. I am going out to buy some paint to fix up an old oak coffee table that I found on the side of the road. it is in good shape but I am going to make it byooo-ti-ful. actually I really don't know what I am doing, but am learning as I go. a friend at work is my goto when I have questions.

have a great booze free Friday, everyone!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I believe the biggest thing I have to overcome right now is thinking in the future.

Worry is the flip side of regret, HHF, and both rob of us the only thing we've got --- this one moment we are in right now. @Lavande has shared all sorts of good books and links about staying in the present -- several by Eckhart Tolle.

I have always been a worrier - a catastrophizer, even. And guess what, most of the things I dreaded and made up big stories about never happened. I'd made myself miserable about something that wasn't happening to me in the moment and never did! What a waste of time in what we all know is a finite life.

On the flip side, the worst things that have actually happened to me were things I never thought to have worried about! And, in the moments and days they happened, I was fine and dealt with everything that needed to be dealt with. On the day my husband almost died (of something totally unanticipated), I seemed preternaturally calm. People thought I was in shock but really, I just felt that I was going to be able to handle it, no matter which way it went. Luckily, after the worst of it, each day was better than the last and he recovered. (For about 5 years, though, I was as nice to him as @New Sunrise is to her husband :smile: - I love how much you love him!).

My point is -- make your plan for whatever is upcoming that you need to deal with but once that's done, let those thoughts go. Don't give them any more attention than they deserve. Perseverating won't fix anything and a stressed and worried mind isn't likely to come up with a new and creative solution to the problem.

Right now I'm in the situation where some little guys I really love are moving away . I catch myself reliving good moments and thinking "it will never be like that again" or worrying about growing apart and them not "loving me as much". Of course thinking these thoughts makes me feel bad. And it is so silly. Changes happen - they aren't necessarily better or worse, it's just how I think about them. I could be thinking about how much less tired I will be or how glad we will be to see one another when we get together. But what I try to do is not think about any of these future events that are pretty much out of my control. I try to stay in the present and look forward to seeing how this next chapter of life plays out.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Beautiful blue skies here today & low temps after all the rain, yay! Unfortunately my neighbor had a big tree fall on his roof - the new roof that was just put on & finished last week. Talk about bad luck, geez. It didn’t seem like it was that windy last night but the ground is pretty well saturated.

NS, your grandkids are moving? Aww, that would be hard on me too. Just try to remember all the fun you will have on visits. We’re lucky these days in that we can video chat with family no matter where they are. We certainly cannot control these things, I agree :hug:

Belle, good for you on day 2!

Over-it, good to see you again. Glad you came right to the nest!
What can you do differently this time around to make sure this is your final & forever quit? Stay close to the nest!

Ava, awesome on your smoke quit!
I will never be able to quit again, it took every ounce of ambition I could muster up. I agree that smoking as a teen was probably the reason why it was so difficult. Keep up the good work

Hello to Slo, Touch, New Sunrise, Pav & everyone.
G, I imagine Lima must be a bigger city? Have fun

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just thought I would pop in tonight. I am doing okay, but sure miss my hubby. Thank you so much No Sug, I really do adore this man! He is my best friend and we are so happy together. I really and truly did not want drinking to ruin this relationship. Funny thing about being in such a bad marriage for way longer then I should have stayed, it makes me appreciate hubby even more.

No Sug, I am sorry about your babies moving. I don't have any but that would be hard for me. Change does come, life is all about change and I guess that is a good thing. Things do wind up working for the best even when we don't see it at the time, or even if it takes a long time to see.

Belle, Glad to see you here for day 2. That sober muscle will strengthen. Slips remind us of how precious each day of sobriety is.

Over-it, glad to see you on here too. You are so right, drinking is such a tremendous waste of time, no doubt about that.

I didn't get what I wanted done today . Sometimes the plan doesn't work, but I have tomorrow. Every time I started to get ready to work on furniture something would side track me. The power man came today to put in a new 'smart' meter, hope that it is smart enough to lower our bill. Daughter is excited, she interviewed for a job in a church day care this week, just something to get some cash, and they were pretty impressed with her. They are sending her application to their administration for a permanent pre-k position. That is cool, she worked for a private school in NC also. I so hope it works for her. I did go look at bed room set that was advertised locally, a really nice set. I think we may get it and use our set for guests. It is mid June now and still have not heard anything from his sister, IDK. Hubby is debating the expense right now, though it is such a great deal.

I guess with that I will just say good night and try not to fall asleep on the couch. I am so glad you are all here. Your support really means a lot to me, even to keep from being too lonely which can lead to a difficult evening. I do hope you all are having a good Friday evening.