Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION], thanks for the hope that my son will turn into an amazing young man someday. He may be 19, but has a long way to go. He is unsure of his direction at the moment and I think he may definitely be showing signs of adult ADD. He was tested borderline when he was a child but we are revisiting this issue atm.

And then I have a teen daughter. 16 going on...idk. thankfully she has a really great boyfriend and they are a good influence on each other. Yes, there is the sex, but I prepared her the best I could and we can and do talk about everything.

Thankfully my son has a job at a grocery store, and when he is there I call it "Teen Daycare" because at least I know where he is and what he is doing. So [MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION], I understand the relief of having your teen at camp. Yes, they are so exhausting. Mine are experts at finding loopholes in every rule we put in place.

But dammit...they won't make me drink...because (say it again): I Don't Drink

[MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION]...good luck at the job interview. a second interview is a great sign!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am seriously thinking about Antabuse..for six month to a year.

Murph-I take Antabuse. I've never had any kind of adverse reaction with it UNLESS I drink. The first time I quit and was so successful, I think I took it for 4 months. I would take it first thing in the AM so that I didn't have to fight with my AL brain all day. There was no option. After the 4 months I kept a pill on me at all times. If I ever found myself in a position that had me entertaining any idea of drinking, I would pop that sucker. With my insurance it is very expensive. I order it through River Pharmacy, no prescription needed AND I only take 1/2 pill daily. It is still VERY effective. Take my word for it and DO NOT try to experiment on your own.

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! Day 12 here. Due to our tiny town being overrun with tourists we can't get internet in the summer so I can only post while I'm at work on the WI-FI here.

Today I am grateful that because I am sober I can get back to the gym!

[laura29]

Re: Newbies Nest

first post. first day. did this program back in 2008. was great for 5 years. naively thought I could have a glass of wine on vacation and then it was back to the races. I am back and I am going to commit to the program again. I read someone else write about witching hour. this is the hardest time.

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

first post. first day. did this program back in 2008. was great for 5 years. naively thought I could have a glass of wine on vacation and then it was back to the races. I am back and I am going to commit to the program again. I read someone else write about witching hour. this is the hardest time.

Happens to the best of us, Alcohol- Cunning, baffling and POWERFUL.
Always hard to tuck our tails and retreat to where started, good on you for being accountable. I myself am coming up on 5 years, and I've said it like broken record. I have trained my mind to play that drink out in my mind for the next 24 hours, 24 days, 24 months for that matter, and no matter how I spin the ending is the same, me on my ass!
Recalling my darkest days and utilizing them as my biggest asset and drive to keep the plug in the jug-
Thanks for sharing, just more proof that no matter how much time you have, if you let your guard down, that MF'er Al will pounce..
Stay hard!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Waiting for a bunch of flooding storms, supposedly. We had a 3 or 4 minute light shower this afternoon & another that’s just starting now. Not exactly flood worthy, thank goodness.

Hello & welcome Laura. Glad you decided to join us in the nest. Settle in & stay awhile
My trick to get through ‘witching hour’ was to change up my routine. Do different things, keep your fav non AL drink handy & just keep moving forward.

Narilly, good luck on your 2nd interview. I hope this is the right one for you

Hi there Matt, Overit, Belle & Pav.
Getting thru those tough teenage years was rough at times but it was worth the effort. My two turned out to be great humans, yours will too.

Hello to the rest of the crowd & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Welcome, [MENTION=24387]laura29[/MENTION]! Another one coming back after years of sobriety: thank you for reinforcing to us here that it is never safe to go back to drinking. But you did it before, so you can do it again!

[MENTION=24381]murph54[/MENTION], it’s not your imagination; alcohol really is everywhere nowadays! I remember when going to a play was an alcohol-free event, other than the wine one might have at dinner before heading to the theater -but that always made me tired during the play. Now people can’t be expected to make it through a whole play without having to top off at intermission.
Over-it gave you excellent advice on Antabuse if you want to go that route. I second it.

This really does seem to run in families, Ava. You’re a great example for your daughter. Good that she’s got you for both support and inspiration.

[MENTION=7705]witchywoman[/MENTION], I wonder if you could go to an ER to safely taper? They could give you a couple meds to help you through it.

Good news, Narilly!

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

Welcome Laura, I did the same thing, but only sober for 2 years. I thought I could control it and did for a bit, till I didn't anymore. Alcohol just took over and I lived my 'alone' life around it. Glad you are on here!

Murph, I notice that alcohol seems to be everywhere, especially on TV. There doesn't seem to a show that doesn't include it. It is hard to see FB posts about 'Mommy Juice' from all sorts of people. It is a slippery slope especially for young mothers who drink around their kids. It really is not acceptable to not have your wits about you when you are with children.

Well, I am still sober and still doing well AV wise. Boy, I am bummed out though . HALT, hungry, angry, lonely and tired. Lord knows I take care of the hunger part too well and I am sleeping well but the lonely and anger part is a bit hard to take care of.

I will have lunch with my ladies group on Friday so there is that. We did not pick a project to do in June and I have a feeling that the summer kind of curbs the projects with traveling and family visits. I know I need to get more involved with something, but what? I just have not found my niche around here. Come fall, I do plan on volunteering at our local elementary school. The kids energy kind of rubs off on you. I guess I will do that, right now I am not motivated to do a lot.

This feels like the second week that hubby has been gone, but really he left last Friday so it has not been. He is sure he will be home this weekend, but I kind of have my doubts. In a way I don't want him to come home because he has to turn around and go back up north. He is working ridiculous hours, traveling from plant to plant by car and is wearing himself thin. I would rather him stay in one place and get some rest then to come back home and leave again. He has a pattern. He works ridiculously hard, gets worn out, and then has some sort of accident. Once it was a brush against a pipe, three different time resulting in one of them being a 2nd degree burn, another a fall off a ledge that was not properly marked in the rain and broke his pinky finger. You really have no idea how much you need that finger till it doesn't work properly anymore. I would rather him take care of himself, but the loneliness is getting to me big time.

Anger, there is a hard one too. I have not heard from his sister and even left a message to her the other day. F it, pillows and blankets on the damn floor, if you, your girls, or your husband show up.

Heard from son yesterday. He doesn't call, he texts, which gets on my nerves. He forgot to wish hubby a Happy Father's Day, could I do it for him? No, text him yourself, you have is number Mr. Adult, mommy is not cleaning up after you. He really seemed to want to let me know he paid off his truck, finally. Great, I pay my bills too. I paid 2 med bills and the cable bill yesterday. Yay me? I don't know.

Yesterday my hubby posted his first meal of the day at 7:30 last night and had been up since 3:30am. He has been doing crap like that since he left and I reminded him that he can't do that, it is not good for him. My really drunk older brother admonished me and told me to stop being a bitch, he works hard and doesn't deserve it. It is the first time I have said anything on FB about his eating habits but I felt it need to be said. I replied he was a diabetic and he has spent too many days not eating right, sometimes we all need gentle reminders. Now, my bother was drunk when he wrote it because the didn't finish the sentence after that and who knows where it was going.

So that is me. Sober, dealing with life. I must say that I only had one attack of AV the other night. Out of, seemingly, no where, I was getting ready to fix dinner and thought I could use a drink. Whaaat, no way! It ran off like a scalded dog.

Today is clean up day. I finally finished my dinning table seats and will put them on today. I did not finish my brother's little chair. I think it is made of maple, but what ever wood it is, it just absorbs the moisture and I got it finished up the point of putting polyurethane on it. I brought it back into the house and it has dried out so that is good. I just can't seal it if moisture is in it, it would just be ruined.

So that is me, sober and dealing with life. The rain may stop tomorrow so a good dose of vitamin D may just help me. I am anxious to get outside again.

Happy Sober Thursday! Week 12, woohoo! I have to keep this going!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Glad you're here, Laura. Sorry about the circumstances, but I will certainly take yours as a cautionary tale. It is so easy to feel "cured." After all, I don't crave alcohol at all any more. As a former MWOer said, "if only one, why not none..."

Sunrise - it would be hard for me to move to a new town and then have my husband gone all of the time. I think you're right - volunteering or getting involved in something is a great idea. The school in the fall will be good as well. I think one of the hardest things about being married is not being able to control your spouse's behavior. My husband had a serious health scare about four years ago, and it took me to a place where I felt compelled to help him make his every eating and drinking choice. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why he was eating that or not exercising enough, or whatever I felt would control his illness. Of course, I re-learned for the 100th time (apparently I'm a slow student in this regard) that I can't control someone else. What a concept. I can only control my reaction to someone else. It is hard, but ultimately so much healthier for me not to harp on his behavior, and focus on mine and setting a good example.

Over-It - glad you're back to the gym. I remember it was important for you.

Nar - fingers crossed for your job. I hope it works out for you this time.

Lav - hope your weather stays calm and you have no flooding. Glad to hear the teens turned out alright. My older one is back from college and we had a very civilized and adult dinner and discussion. He was being cautious while driving and I told him his pre-frontal cortex is shaping up nicely - we had a laugh over that one.

Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav

[laura29]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am so appreciative already for this group! I am not a blogger or chat room so I am having trouble figuring format out. I made it through last night fine - didn't sleep well. very committed. spoke with my doctor, my husband, my confidante friend and now I have this outlet. I have so many good things in my life - I have to accept this is one thing I can't have. like someone said - it is everywhere!!!! the other thing I thought about last night is that I am bored. my husband and I watch tv and drink at night. we work really hard during the day and I don't want to go back to work after dinner to relieve the boredom. it's too easy. we will be empty nesters this August, so time to figure it out. I do have hobbies - it just i'm exhausted by 7:00pm. just going to have to work through it. I can do this!!!! I want to do this!!! I need to do this!!! thank you!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - "Delicious" is a great way to describe 4 days off the grid! Your comment about how we cannot control/change other people, we can only control how we react or respond, is right on point and is a hard lesson to learn, but a MUCH healthier outlook on life.

Laura - welcome (back) to the nest. Tuck yourself in and start working your plan. Glad to have you here.

Murph - yep, al is definitely everywhere, if it's not actual al available it's advertising for some "glamorous" or fun aspect of drinking. It's all lies, but it's hard to see that sometimes. AB sounds like a great idea if that's the route you decide to take. It sure does work!

Lav - hope you don't really get flooded out. Stay safe during the storms.

Nar - Congrats on the second interview and Good Luck!!! I hope things work out for you - it sounds like a wonderful opportunity.


Hellos and waves to everyone else stopping by the nest today. Happy Hump Days/Eves!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I like how being totally off the grid and immersed in nature left you feeling rested & restored, [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION]. Neat vacation!

[MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], 4:30am? Dreadful time for a flight to come in. No wonder you were depleted!
My daughter & her fiancé filled the fridge with three different flavors of sparkling water, plus ginger beer for me and Coke for his mom. Very thoughtful. I guess one reason it was such a “dry” weekend is because future son-in-law must have been apprised of my alcoholic condition.
Oh well. I can get better support if it’s known.

Sunrise, yes, the anger is hard to deal with once we sober up: the situations & people we were drinking at are still there, but with no means to numb it anymore.
Your son seems to be trying to keep the lines of communication open with you anyways. Good for you for standing your ground though! You will not be walked all over!

Laura, the fatigue will be even worse for awhile as you detox. Just be gentle with yourself.

Let’s have a good hump day! Hellos to Byrdie, Lav, Pavati, Ava, Nar, Belle, OverIt, NS, LC, Matt, our traveling vagabond Guitarista, Murph, Touch, Witchy, Pauly, and all you Nesters.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Glad you're here, Laura. Sorry about the circumstances, but I will certainly take yours as a cautionary tale. It is so easy to feel "cured." After all, I don't crave alcohol at all any more. As a former MWOer said, "if only one, why not none..."

You've expressed my sentiments exactly, Pav. I am really good at minimizing past bad stuff. It is one of many reasons I stick around here - I want to be reminded of where I was and how easy it would be to crash back there. I'm sorry that people have relapsed but I'm grateful to @New Sunrise, @laura29, @Overit-still, @BelleGirl, and others for coming back and sharing their stories. If any of you are interested in documenting your experiences in more detail in a place they are easy to find, you'd be most welcome (and appreciated!) to add to https://www.mywayout.org/community/g...etrospect.html. It helps everyone - the writer and the readers.

first post. first day. did this program back in 2008. was great for 5 years. naively thought I could have a glass of wine on vacation and then it was back to the races.

I read this a couple days ago, Laura, and it helped when I came home to an empty house after having helped my daughter and her family move to a different town, a couple hours away (instead of 5 minutes!!). My husband is literally off the grid, like @wagmor was, but for 2 weeks. That evening I was tired and a little melancholy. I wasn't exactly tempted, but I thought about how "nice" it would be to drink and drink and drink. I didn't even waste time thinking I'd have a nice relaxing "glass" of wine. Because of stories like yours, my immediate next thoughts were of feeling awful the next day (and being unable to do all of the things I have planned because I have no other responsibilities!!), and of starting that cycle of craving. I just hated having my thoughts be about my next drink. Even when I wasn't actively thinking about it, in the back of my mind, I was always aware of how long until the next drink. So, I ate some dinner, worked on a knitting project that I'm really enjoying, and went to bed EARLY. Then I woke up GRATEFUL that because I have stayed in touch with my sober buddies, I didn't make what could have been a terrible choice. So, thank you. xx, NS

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters. I'm in a hotel room now, looking out the window at a very heavy rain storm in Asheville, NC... sipping coffee. My husband is out at the breweries. My kids and I will walk around and check out shops when the rain becomes normal and not such a downpour.

I can see right through his desire for the breweries. He gets so excited, but it's for the buzz, the booze - in the name of a "hobby called craft breweries". Not the music, not the bean bag toss, not the craft of beer - for God's sake, there's a reason he chose his favorite beers to be the ones with the highest ABV. I hate seeing him let loose and go for it on vacation. It's not that he's stupid drunk or unsafe, just that his fixation is NOT what's on my mind. I'm sure it bumms him out that I no longer want to "party". SO, let him go on his own, and we will check out the shops. There's a lot of awesome art here!

Along those lines, PAV and Sunrise, I have also had to let go of trying to tell my husband what's best for him. I'm right about the food part and such, but it's his life. He needs to make decisions about what health and happiness he is willing to work for. He knows that the things I say and do are for the best, but he makes excuses so that he doesn't have to do the work. I told him yesterday, while talking about one of his friends who has crippling anxiety, that it's such a shame that people will choose years and years of torture and addiction just to avoid 6 months or a year of facing our shit head on. If its all hard and painful, why not choose a year over the rest of life, unhealthy, unhappy, anxiety-ridden? I was talking about him really, and I know he heard it. Maybe one day he will choose it but it's for him to decide.

New Sunrise, you seem to be at the point in your sobriety that, if you keep going, you will start to see real, positive changes in your life. Keep going and keep facing challenges with other sober coping mechanisms, and you may wake up one day and see remarkable changes in your relationships, your behavior, your desires, your life goals and how others perceive you. It happens!!

Slo, I LOVE ginger beer!! Hoping to get some tonight!

Love to all - happy mid-week!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Hump Day everyone......or as the Quakers say, 4th day.

Keep plugging away at this!