Newbies Nest

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sounds like everyone is doing great today.

Kensho, I hope today is better,

Murph, how you doin'?

Everyone else? Hello

I'm not gonna drink today

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunday greetings Nesters,

Sunny & getting way too hot here, ugh. Even though my house is air conditioned perfectly this heat messes with my sleep & appetite - can’t do either very well. I’ve always been more of a Fall weather girl

Kensho, glad to hear you are holding on to your quit!
Sometimes beIng away from home & your comfortable place can throw you off balance a bit, I get that. You’ll be home & back to your place of power before you know it & we are here rooting for you

Overit & Pav, Byrdie & I feel personally responsible for the welfare of every nester (just kidding). But we do truly want to see everyone succeed!!!

Matt, I am so grateful that my thinking matured along the way. After 10+ years I don’t spend a minute worrying about what I am ‘missing’ because I know what I have now, mind peace is everything!!!!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All!

I believe that I have finished riding the wave of "pissed off" and hit the shore sober! It has been a tough one and plenty of times I felt like throwing in the towel and just having a glass of wine, but that pissed me off more. Hubby left yesterday morning for the week or a bit more, one never knows, and daughter and I participated is a bit of retail therapy and a nice lunch together. I had lunch with my ladies group on Friday and we went to a Mexican restaurant that I never would have stopped in and it was great. We love Mexican food so daughter and I had a wonderful time. We don't eat out a whole lot because hubby does so much and he appreciates home cooked meals. It was just a nice day that ended by the pool, mostly in it because of the heat we now have.

I got through it! I knew I could and I did! Life is just not always easy and instead of trying to drink it away, which never works, I just got through it, pissed off and pouting, but I got through it.

Hubby's sister has not said she isn't coming but and is maybe keeping her options open. We are not an option, and hubby said he will deal with her if she starts talking about coming down again and tell her no if it is not convenient for us. The girls spending a month with us is out of the question now and we will just see. What ever her problem are, they are hers not ours. Not our monkeys, not our circus. I did get a new bedroom suit out of it, so that is a good thing.

Kensho, I am so sorry you are going through what you are with your husband. You got lots of great advice here and taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do. I thought the same as Pav, he maybe uncomfortable with his own drinking and the change your sobriety is making in his life. With my ex, when I stopped drinking it really put a crimp in his life. He was not a drinker but a philanderer and I was his perfect excuse to do what he was doing. Wife was a drunk, poor me, I need to escape the horror at home. I ended his excuse but he never ended his behavior. While drunk, I really didn't see the signs, when sober, I saw him for who he was. I know you will handle it appropriately.

Belle, glad to hear your son is going to go back to school and get tested for adult ADD. That is great and he can deal with his issues appropriately. So many times adults with ADD will self medicate and we all know where that can lead.

It is good to hear that everyone is doing well. I really hate getting on here and complaining too much but thank you, everyone, for listening to my rants. I have to get it out because if I leave it in, it turns ugly and drunk.

Today will be another hot one here. I have the power man coming by this morning to check on our HVAC unit for a rebate and suggestions on how to make our house more efficient. I will finish my little chair now that the humidity is down and a new book by the pool today. It is so important for me to have a plan for the day, so that sounds pretty good to me. I hope everyone has a Happy Healthy Sober Monday.

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

PAV, I agree about ADD and medication. I have a mild form myself, and I've learned enough to pay bills and function in the world, but then harness it fully for creative tasks. I think ADD folks just have different strengths than others. Great idea on the vacations. And very helpful thought about, "why is he so threatened?"

LAV, yes, "off balance" sounds about right. I'm doing fine now... just annoyed that we have to make a stop to a bar at 5pm every night for him to get a fix. I don't want to sit at a f-ing bar. I try to walk with the kids when I can.

We are right on the beach - Folly Beach SC. It's HOT!!! Byrdie, sending you hugs up the coast on the ocean breeze. Our airbnb hosts own a bike shop so we have free bikes to ride into the little town on the beach. It's great!

Have to run... best to all!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - I'm sorry this vacation is putting a bit of a spotlight on the drinking/not drinking divide between you and your husband. It sounds like a tough one to solve while you're in the moment. You might already be doing this, but if not, maybe having conversations in advance where you navigate how AL (including al-focused destinations like breweries) will and will not play a role in your vacations would be helpful? I really feel for you and am proud of you for sticking to your plan and protecting your quit even though it feels sucky. Remember, you're feeling "un-fun" because you're looking at yourself through the lens of the drinkers around you, which distorts things to make al look better. From the sobriety angle, getting blotto looks decidedly NOT fun, while waking up clearheaded and ready to embrace the day fully is the fun way to approach life.

Belle - glad your son has decided to go back to school, and that you're all on board with getting him some ADD help. We can probably all remember various times in school, whether college or otherwise, that felt mind-numbing, but it sounds like he has some extra challenges. You say his passion is fashion? Maybe framing those other courses as either helpful for working in the fashion business as a whole (which arguably reflects everything about history, culture, even math - whatever he finds mind-numbing) and/or as simply part of the hurdle set that must be cleared to earn that degree. In other words, a way to practice how to handle required tasks/responsibilities we aren't interested in beforewe have families or careers that depend on our abilities to do so.

Ava - glad you're feeling at least somewhat better. Continue to take care of yourself and stay snuggled it while it's cold!

Sunrise - hooray for getting past the recent difficult days, and congrats on your score of a bedroom set! Hope you were able to enjoy the days your husband was home and that his next trip goes equally smoothly. That must be very difficult for both of you to have him traveling so much.

Lav - stay cool if you can - it's never fun when it's so hot that eating and sleeping are affected.


Hellos and waves to everyone as we start a new week. Really glad we have this space together!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, all.

Wags - I like your phrasing on that one - "Remember, you're feeling "un-fun" because you're looking at yourself through the lens of the drinkers around you, which distorts things to make al look better. From the sobriety angle, getting blotto looks decidedly NOT fun, while waking up clearheaded and ready to embrace the day fully is the fun way to approach life." Good perspective.

Slo - you're getting close to one year! How are you feeling?

Sunrise - yes! Realizing I could make it through the challenging times without booze was a revelation. AND that it is actually better - because I can make decisions, and think through things with a clear head. What a concept!

Matt - glad to have you around these parts again...

Happy Monday,
Pav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, my concert was great and I did sing my heart out.

[QUOTEI really think that significant others who don't support sobriety MUST have an issue with their own drinking. Why else would they feel so threatened by it?][/QUOTE]
Ken I think this is really true. I used to badger people to drink when I was drinking and couldn't stand it when I was around people who didn't drink. I mean, what is wrong with them? Don't they know how awesome it is to drink?
Your hubby sounds like he is being an ass, obviously he does not know how AL effects your life. I always used to cave and start drinking on holidays. That is why I am six months behind Pav and Ava in my sobriety. I went to Florida and said F'it and had a big glass of red wine and then it was down hill from there. Stick to it Ken, you are doing great. Keep coming back.

Over it- glad you are hangin in there, one day at a time right!

Pav, yeah 80's bands are fun, its great to know all the words

G Man- Hola amigo.
Ava- glad you are starting to feel better
Matt, Wags, Byrdie, Lav, Sun, Belle, everyone, have a great day. Tomorrow I start my New Job and I am going to kick butt!

xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, all.
G, it sounds like you are having a real adventure! Travel safely, friend!
Im taking some vacation next week and am almost giddy at the prospect! I think we are going to have houseguests so I spent the weekend cleaning. It’s embarrassing how much dust can accumulate when you aren’t looking. I’m glad I don’t have to try and figure out how to sneak and drink while they’re here.
Hope everyone has an easy evening. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Monday evening greetings to all

Hot & sunny as predicted today, the heatwave has begun, ugh!
Grateful I had plenty to do inside where it’s nice & cool.
Everyone sounds good, that makes me happy.

Narilly, we know you’re going to kick butt tomorrow. Wishing you the very best

Byrdie, some time off sounds like a great idea, yay!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Nar, have a great 1st day at work tomorrow, you will do us all proud.

Wags, i so agree that drinking is un-fun. I watched a show last night where a woman in Aus has been sober 18 months and found that everything revolved around drinking so she started a sober social group and it is growing and growing. I thought what a great idea. As she said, she thought her life would be so boring sober but its twice as much fun. I just appreciate remembering everything.

Kensho, you are sounding good. I hope the rest of your holiday is enjoyable.

G, when do you come home, i hope you have something warm to wear off the plane. Im jealous. -2 at 4.30am on my way to work. brrrr

Managed a day at work just. Amazing how the energy levels are depleted after being in bed for a week. Onwards and upwards i say.

Sunrise, glad you are over your funk. I always associated getting sober as like grieving and losing your best friend (al). All the stages of grief i went through getting sober although i have no fond memories of al.

A picture of carl. He will be 6 months old soon. Time flies.IMG20190607072746.jpg
received_769291000139431.jpg

[New Sunrise]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning All,

Thanks for all the support! I knew I could do it, did it before so I knew it would come to an end. I don't know if the extreme attitude could be considered a 'dry' drunk, but as long as it was dry, I could live with it. Alcoholics do to tend to be very sensitive people and that sure fits me to a T. It is done and onward and upward from here.

I was busy yesterday working on my little "Brick" chair. That has been the most difficult piece of wood that I have ever worked on! It just absorbed the humidity like crazy and would never dry for me till I brought inside in the cooler climate. I worked on it all day yesterday and put the last coat on this morning. I will bring it in soon and let it finish drying. It has so many dents and scares on it and that is pretty cool, I remember how some of them got there. It is fresh and ready for a new generation to use it.

I am tired and will stop today, pool time for me and another good book to start. It is great to be able to read again. I have so many books that I have bought in the last 5 years but I have not been able to hold my head down long enough to read. It is great I can do that again.

Hubby is thinking that he may be home on Thurs! One job done, one he is on today and the other cancelled. With the 4th being next week and in the middle of the week, when he gets home it is likely he will stay. He is to go to a training on a new piece of equipment they will be using on the 8th in Atlanta and we might just drive up there together. Atlanta is always fun if you can figure out all the Peach Tree Rds. This is the first training he has ever been sent on with this company, he is thinking that this is a sign of things to come, basically a home office position. I hope so.

Narilly, I hope your first day at work is great. I wish a long and successful career with them!

Avail, Carl is so darn cute! I would love to have a dog, but hubby is a cat person and I like them too. Our fur baby is a rescue and does have some trust issues, I have no idea what kind of environment he came from, but he is hoot. He gets pretty bossy at times and we have to call him down. Last night, for the first time, he got mad at us and planted himself on hubby's desk and refused to move for the night. He was waiting because he knew that his dad would let him get away with murder.

Hello to everyone and I hope everyone have a wonderful Sober Tuesday. Today is an R&R day for me!

[Overit-still]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone! Another beautiful day to wake up to in God's country. Today is day 19 and I was thinking this morning how exciting it will be to be in the 3 digits. (I know it's a ways off but it will be here before we know it) I've never accomplished that before but I definitely will this time.

I appreciate everyone being here day in and day out.

Have a great day!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Sunrise, enjoy your R&R!

Overit, i've hit 100 on a few occassions. It sure feels good. It will happem before you know it, though sometimes time seems to drag. And when time feels like it's slow, i try to absolutely relish and embrace it, coz ya know......life is damn short. I've only got today. So i say let my AF time drag on to 365 days! lol. Not far off 300. Wowza!

Ava, i'm back next week. Enjoying ecuador at the moment. Met chica # 2 today for breakfast. She's really nice and we get along well. # 1 didn't quite workout, but we parted as friends. P.S. I'm not on some women conquering fest through latin america lol. I'm serious about finding a decent latina who wants to settle down with me. I just like latin women which is mostly why i'm here. We're getting together again on friday/saturday for a coastal excursion. She's bringing her daughter and some whale watching is on the cards. She doesn't knock my socks off, but she has a cosy warm vibe i really like. Anyway, we'll see what eventuates.

I seem to be more emotionally stable this time around where love is concerned. haha. No boozing thoughts or desires. Feeling pretty solid.

Big waves to evabody! Take it easy out there.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

G, thanks for the update on the ladies, haha! Glad you are enjoying yourself

Overit, awesome on your 19 AF days!

New Sunrise, I have a huge gratitude list & reading is right there at the top

Ava, it's hard to imagine your freezing cold weather as we are entering into a real heatwave here- geez! Keep yourself warm & healthy too.

Hello the rest of the nesters & wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - sounds like a good trip all the way around, and if it turns into a good match with one of the women you're meeting, all the better. In the meantime, enjoy the sites and sounds of Latin America! One of my favorite parts of the world for sure.

Ava - Carl is really a cutie! Thanks for the pics

Over It - triple digits is a wonderful place to be, and a very good target goal. Keep doing what you're doing!

Sunrise - I hope you enjoyed your R&R day. I might have missed this in an earlier post, but what is a "brick chair"? Sounds like great news for your hubby all the way around - coming home early, a training opportunity, and then possibly a job that would have less travel (?). Seems like things are good in your world!

Nar - how did your first day go??? I'm sure you knocked their socks off!


I've got a long day ahead of me today, but then things will taper off a bit and I've got one last vacation coming up next week. We generally try to get out of town for 4th of July. I know some people love the fireworks etc of the 4th of July (Independence Day in the U.S.) but for those of us people and pups with PTSD or other sensitivities to the loud explosive noises it's hell week.


Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by the nest today. Say hi and/or post an update if you're so inclined. Either way, we're glad you're here!