Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.
Happy Canada Day everyone! I’m wearing my red shirt with a maple leaf on it and am ready to enjoy the day- after I have another cup of coffee. Usually this day would be filled with drinking but no more. I am going to enjoy a nice sober Canada Day, lots going on here so it will be fun.

Change, so glad you are here. Yeah, I tried to moderate for about 30 years and it only took about a thousand hangovers and blackouts to realize I could not do it. Talk about the definition of insanity. The beginning is always hard, changing my mindset from one of being deprived to being Grateful helped me. ( along with exercise, counselling, Bubble Hour podcasts, changing my routine, reading, posting here) Sometimes you gotta hit it on all fronts, that AL brain is sneaky. Thanks for the post about ‘Don't Drink today’, anything that helps!

Life, great to read your post and that was a great post from Matt. I can’t imagine the stuff you see Matt. We probably all have regrets on what we were like when our kids were small in terms of our AL use. So sad about the toddler, ugh.

Haha Ava, I can see you looking busy. I have the day off for Canada Day.

Well, off to have my coffee, do some gardening and hang out with my fam. Love you all, we are in this together.

Don’t drink today xo.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Enjoyed my first day of vacation today. Hard to ignore emails coming in, but I put my out of office on with instructions who to call.
My houseguests come in tomorrow, so I’ll be busy with them. They aren’t big drinkers so that’s good. We don’t have much in common with these folks, and my hubs finds it painful to chit chat. Ha!
Hope everyone had a good day! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Byrdy, how long is your vacay?

Ava, i just got home now around 8 a.m. After 30 + hours of no sleep, travelling, airports, immigration queues, staying awake so as not to miss flights, i made it home this morning. Just don't ask me what friggin day it is! I've decided to stay up for awhile and try hit the hay early this evening to hopefully help the body clock. It's with a little sadness i return from such vibrant countries in Latin America, but also with a renewed/refreshed lust for life.

Friend Kensho, it occured to me when you mentioned seeing a lady under the weather, and the sadness we know of being in that headspace and wasting away the hours, days, years, that this is it! We likely don't get another run around the planet, so live large and in the moment. Life to me is far too short these days. In my 20's, 30's i could throw time away without a care. Now that i see my mortality, i'm kinda hell bent (in my laid back way) to git a few accomlishments and bucket lists under my belt. I don't want to look back and say....i should've had a go at this, or that etc.

Pav. I think you asked me a couple of questions the last few days but i forgot to answer. Sorry if i missed them. Bamboozled at the moment so will add some further detail to my trip in coming days.

Big waves to evabody. I'm a bit tired so will read back later.

Closing in on 300! Ooroo!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The heatwave continues here in Lav-land, yuck. It will cool off again ~ someday

G, glad you arrived home safely. I can only imagine how tired you must be right now. Rest up!!!!

Byrdie, if. You want to escape your guests just head north on I-95, haha!!! I hope the visit is not too bad.

Narilly, Happy Canada day! Not sure what sort of celebrations you guys usually have but I hope it’s fun

Kenso, it’s kind of funny when husbands suddenly hear you & realize you are no longer interested in doing the same old boring stuff, LOL
Most of us grow up sooner or later, right?

LC, I’m grateful there were no ziplines or rock climbing walls around when my kids were young. I don’t think I would have been real happy doing that stuff, haha. I do remember a way too high water slide at a water park near Disney in FL. I almost had a heart attack when i saw my kid up there, geez!

Ava, none of us want another day one - never!!!

Change, hope you are doing well.

Have a safe night in the nest one & all!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, all!
G, glad you’re back! I’m so happy you had an amazing time! I have this week off, unlike you Aussies who take a month at a time!
Hot as heck here, I hope my midwestern houseguests don’t mind a little heat and humidity. I’m not sure when they are arriving, but we are ready. Last night I went to do some last minute cleaning of the guest bath and discovered the screws in the toilet seat had rusted and bled onto the seat below. It looked awful, so sent hubs to the store this morning for a new one. We never use that bathroom so didn’t notice it was in such bad shape. The seat had low miles but it had to go.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Remember, the situation you’re in today isn’t permanent, you have the power to improve it. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Not much new to report. I did have a drinking dream last night. I was doing a scavenger hunt and my partner wasn't taking it very seriously. I chugged a beer and it made my lips numb and I couldn't think very clearly, but in my dream I thought nothing of the beer. Weird.

Sunrise! Belle! Change! Over-it! Slo! Everyone else! How's it going?

Welcome back, G!

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi y'all Nesters. I actually caught myself talking in a drawl while in the Carolinas... sounded like Byrdie! It's funny how that just works in those parts! Byrdie, enjoy your company. Glad you got the toilet figured out!

I laid into the husband last night. He comes home pissy because he hates his job and needs to find something at home to rant about. I caught him off guard and told him to talk to me with respect. I'm getting tired of his BS. He's got so many good things about him, and he balances me out in so many ways, but THIS thing has to stop. AND, I'm not going to put up with being chastised for eating well or not drinking any more. I'm taking care of myself, treating myself well. Just because he doesn't want to face the music and make some changes, and is miserable in his job doesn't give him the right to take me down. Figure your shit out! That's what I want to say! All you have to do is stop fighting the need to evaluate your current situation and CHANGE what isn't working. I guess I shouldn't be surprised because his parents are textbook avoiders. UG! He can ruin his health with diet and alcohol if he chooses, but I'm not going to do that. He exercises a TON, and I know it's because he's punishing himself and preparing to indulge in whatever. Then he complains about his stomach hurting, and his memory going, and is irritable and - well... he's NOT better off for his choices. Some days he convinces me that "living a little" is part of emotional health - i.e. eating yummy foods... and I guess part of that is right. But I can't tell you all how many times I've read about how important diet is to health. UG.

Anyway, I had a great day back to work after vacation - was super productive. At least I can control MY choices, and I choose the best life I can have. Wondering if it includes HIM.

Best to all.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning All Nesters,

I'm here...Daughter got her wisdom teeth out yesterday. That makes 2 in 2 weeks. Son handled it like a champ. I knew daughter would be a different story. Thankfully we brought her boyfriend (or whatever he is to her atm) with us. Omg what a great nurse he is. Daughter would not shut up for a minute after she woke up, and asked if she could have some chicken wings. She talked nonsense all the way home. Her guy got some great video that we are laughing at, but he promised not to share it with anyone else. she is not the best patient though. He stayed and took care of her till 9:30 last night, changed bloody gauze, made her scrambled eggs, got her some ice cream, made her wear her 'ice bonnet', and watched Netflix with her...which was all great for me because I was exhausted and also had to run some errands. He is such a good kid. Daughter has had many complaints about following the recovery protocol though. I think her recovery is going to take longer than son's did.

So that is where I'm at. no drinking. I had to get up every 3 hours last night to give her pain meds. omg so glad I'm not drinking. I sort of wish I would have a drinking dream just to remind me how awful it was.

I need to read back now and see what I missed yesterday. Not drinking today!!!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Remember, the situation you’re in today isn’t permanent, you have the power to improve it. Byrdie

Hola nesters!

Byrdy, i love your words above. We do have the power to change direction and decide what our day/life looks like. Sometimes we can't change everything overnight as we'd like, but we can take some sort of daily action we can handle to chip away in the direction we want to go. Enjoy your week. I hope you can unwind in a way you enjoy.

Happy anniversary Lav! YB is a lucky man.

Happy Canada day Narilly! How's the new job?

LC, wowza on the zip lining and outdoor pursuits! I reckon getting out of our comfort zones like that is a great thing. I've still got jumping outta a plane on my radar!

hi Kensho and Belle!

Happy to be home again in familiar territory, as much as i loved being on the road. Loooong flight home yesterday, and catching up on sleep and adjusting body clock. Cool to have the week off and no commitments so i can chill and reset. Back to the work grind next monday. Lucky i enjoy it.

Did i mention i feel a renewed appreciation of, and lust for life? When you see the often smiling faces and never give up attitudes of street vendors in what are in many ways 3rd world countries in Latin america, it puts a few things in perspective for me. A lot of people just hanging around on the street, many having a go with a small niche business, corrupt governments.........and still folks are friendly. Ok, i'm a gringo tourist who likely won't miss giving a buck or 2 so i get the friendly treatment, but i've also noticed when i've said no to an offer of goods on the street with a respectful firm no thanks mi amigo, i'm almost always still given a warm smile in return. This sometimes leads to non conditional conversations of interest to both parties if i'm in an area for more than a few days. Ok, i'm waffling now. Feel i'm in some sort of twilight zone or alternate reality ATM.

Another week ish before 300. Wowza! On track for that.

Take it easy out there.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Some days he convinces me that "living a little" is part of emotional health - i.e. eating yummy foods... and I guess part of that is right. But I can't tell you all how many times I've read about how important diet is to health. UG.

People often dump that on me, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], suggesting I'm orthorexic or something. The thing is --- I know the physical and mental price I pay if I consume alcohol, gluten, or too much sweet and/or junk food. If I were to eat them, I wouldn't be relaxed and carefree! I'd be worrying about the upcoming consequences. And the thing is, I DO eat food that I enjoy very much - last night BBQ ribs, roasted brussels sprouts, and blueberries in cream. I honestly don't feel like I'm missing out at all. Live true to what you know about yourself and you'll be ok. xx

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Kensho just keep up your positive attitude, we appreciate you and we know us alkies cant have that one drink and nor do we want to. we have worked too hard to get to where we are.

I am thinking of taking myself off to Thailand for a holiday and my thoughts were "oh i will be by myself i could enjoy a cocktail and buy cheap cigarettes". Like REALLY. I dont want to do either but this is how my addictive brain thinks even after 5 1/2 years. There is no way in hell i will do either. The battle to stop is not worth it. Why would i put myself through all of that misery for a few hours of what is perceived to be pleasure.

Glad you are home safe G. So glad you had a wonderful time and coming up to 300 days. You have this in the bag and proud of you and what you are achieving.

today is my psych apt and talking about my mother, god its going to be draining ha ha but needs to be sorted. Might even then move on to my father. Glad this psych is only costing me $18 a visit but she is just so lovely and a bargain. I do like our health care system in Australia.

Belle, you are a great mum. I had to take my son to the drs yesterday, he has pulled a muscle in his back (seems like the only person in the world to have done this). i know how he feels and i am trying to pull all the sympathy out and concern i can muster. he has pain relief now so hopefully he will be back to normal soon. At 26 he is still my baby.

Well best get back to work, take care x

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Thanks Ava. Thailand sounds perfect to me. What an adventure and top idea. Book it! It seems Airfares/hotel deals by the hundreds especially when booking a couple of months in advance. But are you considering going whilst it's winter here?

SB, what is an or....orrrtha......orfo.....orthorexic? Something to do with bone health? Always cool to read your thoughts.

Self sabotage - Er, that'll be me! I have this tendency for whatever reasons. The cool thing is i'm aware of it and know i need to manage it and keep a lazy eye on things. Like Lav and a few of you, I'm a regular reader of Daily Om. Here's an introductory speil from the $15-20 buck course. Not trying to flog anything, but the questions below might be useful to reflect upon for some of us. Particularly me.

Excerpt from course by Debbie Ford:

'Do you make a little progress toward your goals and objectives, only to backslide again into old, non-serving behaviors? Are you perplexed by how frequently you get off track and wonder, out of sheer exasperation, why? If you are not moving steadily in the direction of what you say you want, you can be certain that you are sabotaging yourself somewhere.

Whatever form it takes -- whether unhealthy behaviors or limiting thought patterns -- self-sabotage always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfill our dreams. Self-sabotage is the outer manifestation of our inner feelings of shame, anger and unworthiness. At the heart of the matter, we only create as much love, fulfillment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having.

To make radical progress toward that which you want, it is essential to identify how your inner saboteur is operating in your life. Choose one area where you can see that you're sabotaging yourself. Perhaps it's your finances, or maybe it's in the area of your health or relationships. Ask yourself, "What do I get out of not thriving in this area?" (We are always getting something out of it). Propelled by negative beliefs about yourself, you may discover that you don't expect to succeed in this area. So ultimately, you get to be right about yourself! And most of us will do anything to prove that we are right--even if it means robbing ourselves of our dreams.

However, today can be a demarcation. How will you begin to stop self-sabotage in its tracks?'

Thems fightin' words! Feelings of worthiness, self confidence to put ourselves out there and go for what we love. I always come back to daily self care as a tool/strategy towards finding, building inner peace or contentment. Daily action of a self care program that's simple, not overwhelming, and that i can handle and turn up for.

I reckon i've been writing the same post for the last few years! lol. Take care of yourselves evabody. When we don't drink or introduce the poison to our system again, we give our heart, body, spirit, mind a chance to heal and grow towards our truth. Did u know there is a LOT of buried treasure within us waiting to be enjoyed.

Go git it pilgrim.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

It’s a hot & humid day AGAIN inLav-land. What else is new???
I’ve been treating my chickens to cold slices of watermelon to cool them off & they love it, haha!!

Good luck with the guests Byrdie & I hope they appreciate the sparkling new toilet seat

Belle, I’ve witnessed all sorts of bizarre reactions of people coming out of anesthesia. Some laugh, some cry & some actually sing, LOL
I hope your daughter heals quickly & thanks the boyfriend for his attendance.

Kensho, we all go thru growing pains, even adults! I’ve heard my husband whine about whole grain pasta in place of white pasta, honestly wtf?? They will grow up when they choose to do so. In the meantime we have to turn off our hearing, just not listen. You’re doing just fine!

Pav, drinking dreams, yuck! At least you already know you won’t do that!

G, you know I’ve been a fan of the Daily OM for a long time & have taken several of their courses. They were all helpful to me too!

NS, I figure we are pretty lucky when we finally figure out which foods are harming us. Giving them up was easy because we quickly feel better, right?

Well, there’s a thunder storm rolling in, hope it helps cool things a little.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Change]

Re: Newbies Nest

but THIS thing has to stop. AND, I'm not going to put up with being chastised for eating well or not drinking any more. I'm taking care of myself, treating myself well. Just because he doesn't want to face the music and make some changes, and is miserable in his job doesn't give him the right to take me down.

Yes KENSHO, this is a healthy attitude! I posted something ages ago about "friends" who do not want to let you move on (when you give up al). The point is, it's where they're at in their lives, not where you're at. I'm going through the same thing where I think I am going to have to be ruthless with abstaining. It takes a lot of internal work to achieve that, strength wise that is.

Guitarista: your trip sounds amazing and thanks for spreading some excitement and light on what can otherwise be drudgery!

Narilly: you cracked me up with your 30 year "moderation" scenario.. I actually laughed out loud I don't know what I can call mine, but somewhere in my mind I am still in this relationship with al and I need to break it.

Hello to BelleGirl, Pav, Lav (it rhymes, lol), lifechange, NoSugar, available and anybody else perusing this forum! Thank you for your updates

Don't drink today

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Kensho, FFS - you deserve more support than that. I'm sorry that he's such a pain in the ass, but I do think your diagnosis is correct. Somehow he's taking out his feelings about himself on you. Keep it steady!

NoSugar I have a friend who is diligent like you are with food. I admire that so much, and I also think that I don't have such bad effects so I'm not as motivated. I just gain weight SLOWLY, so it is not immediate. That passage will help me, G. Thanks! For sure my relationship with food is addictive. I tend to be all or nothing. If I give myself permission access the candy bowl at work I dive in and have 8 candies. If I have one piece of bread, I have bread at every meal. Work in progress...

Belle and Ava - both great moms! Belle, that must require so much patience! I always tell my kids not to complain when they're sick, but once I made my son go to school with a "cold" and it turned out he had pneumonia. I guess I can take it too far. Glad her friend could be there to give you some respite.

Mr. G - you sound so great. I am VERY excited to celebrate 300 days with you, and then onward to a year. You're sounding so solid in your quit right now. You have a great perspective and an infectiously positive attitude. Thanks for being here.

Happy Anniversary, Lav!

Byrdie, good luck with those house guests. That can be stressful.

Change, glad you're here. Ruthless abstaining it is. Take care.

Happy SOBER Hump Day.

Pav