Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,
Been a rough week with daughter and her teeth. And then husband home too much and trying to take over the kitchen. I'm not in a good place right now, but I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY. one might think it is a good thing that husband cooks, but every meal he makes is a major project that takes hours, and makes an incredible mess. I cannot eat a steak at 9:30 at night and not feel like crap. this is a new thing for him, I guess not really 'new' as he had an interest in cooking during his younger years.

I guess I just feel like I am getting pushed out of my place in the family. when he is cooking, there is really no place for me to go (kitchen is small) so I go to my room downstairs. I say 'my' room because he snores so loudly I moved myself down there a couple of years ago. he is the problem, but refused to move downstairs or for that matter do anything else to fix his snoring which I am sure is really sleep apnea.

the kids barely need me as they have friends that get them from point a to point b...most of the time.

wahhh wahhh. this is my pity party. and I'm afraid I'm going to get a case of the f*its, and drink. I'll have to stay close to the nest today. have to take piper to vet because she is out of meds, and now they have been put in the 'controlled substance' category. I think I'll mow the lawn in the 100 degree heat, get bit up by mosquitoes and perhaps if I'm lucky, another case of Lyme disease (jk).

pfffftttt!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle - hang in there! Maybe you can sous chef for your husband? Go turn on some music you both like and enjoy being in there with him? We have a small kitchen, too, but we can squeeze two in. Or another hobby? Chalk painting (I looked it up - cool)? Go for a walk? Go to the library and find a good book? Do some yoga poses in your living room? Listen to the Bubble Hour? Take a cooling bath? Call an old friend? There are a million things to do other than drink. You got this!

Nar - so glad for your job. That's amazing that it is working out so well. Gross about the cowboy boots... I love square dancing - we got to do it as PE in middle school, and I've been to a few dances. Have fun!

Wags - water front cabin is about as good as it gets! My preference is if you can jump IN the water which it sounds like maybe you couldn't? Welcome back to civilization.

G - spectacular. That Machu Pichu picture is amazing. What a day you had?! Hope you're enjoying your entry back into real life.

Sunrise! We miss you. What is going on? Come back and we can support whatever you need!

Happy SOBER Saturday. I'm going to meet an old friend for a walk and then do some neglected projects around here (like sweeping...)

Pav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

quick check in before i go for a 3 hour drive to see my mum, stay 2 hours and drive home. Im not overly looking forward to this as mum is very negative which infuriates me. anyone who makes it to 83 with everything intact should be hugely grateful i say but what do i know! Im pulling my grateful out my arse today. Grateful im getting out of the house, grateful the day will be sunny and lovely, grateful to see my son and grateful to busy some fresh laid hen eggs and maybe go to the markets.

Belle, turn your thinking around girl. I had an ex hubs who for 17 years didnt cook, he had one meal that he would make if i nagged him enough and the children called it "noodle thingy". I felt like a slave more than a wife which is why i left but i did stay until my youngest was 14 as i didnt want my children to suffer too much through a separation like i did. now my son cooks and i love it. As Pav says join him but try and get the ball rolling earlier, if he annoys you then walk away. I was devastated when my children didnt need me as much but after awhile i love my ME time, my children still need me and will always come to me first if they want anything. They all grow up and you are doing a great job and always will. We did exactly the same to our parents when we were growing up and the cycle still rolls along. Thats life really. I remember when my children were young and i was in a moment crying thinking that this was my life forever, sometimes i would like that back but boy was it a madhouse with the 4 of them. They grow up and become independent adults which is what our job is. They will always need us but in a different way. I hope Piper is ok, when mads was sick i used to just email the vets and they would send me out the meds, it worked well and if i ever needed to take her then i did, though we were pretty regular visitors. I do miss my vet. I worry about Carl then think, hes only 6 months old, hes fine and he is. You wont drink, it wont stop the feelings you have or make them better. I know smoking and drinking wont make my life better now and boy would i fang for a smoke today to get through it but i have my big girl pants on and i will not smoke AT anyone.

Oh Nar, so glad you love your job. i had a laugh about which boots you puked on. i was never a puker, why waste all that good al i used to say.

Wags you break sounds just lovely, a volume control on nature, i laughed at that. I grew up in the country and it was the best time of my life (minus the emotional crap). i used to walk for miles and miles and had so many pets. It was lovely and i hope to live out of the rat race when i retire. Dont work too hard. how is your wifes arm healing?

Well better get ready to roll. 3 hours of music and coffee breaks.

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi gang.

Pav, yep Machu Picchu. The overused word 'Awesome' is totz applicable here! I spent a day there. 8C in the morning but when the sun came up it was around 25C and blue skies all day. One of the personal highlights was my 1.5 hr walk back down the mountain to the train station/town of Machu Pichuu. Everyone one else stood in the looooong queues for the buses back down. I thought....F that, it's a gorgeous day, i'm walking back. So i followed the long winding road back to town, drinking fresh mountain water along the way from the occassional mini cascade spilling down from rocks above. Then i found a short cut of man made stone steps for a more direct route down through the jungle. Just me and the mountains! (and the regular busload of lazy tourists driving by every 5 minutes). I breathed deeply, stopped to take in the sights, supped from small free flowing mini fresh waterfalls. I didn't spot any puma's or other critters, too many tourists. I am healed i tells yiz! One day there is great, but there are 4/5 day treks along trails available too for greater immersion in this legendary place. Putting the incredible architectural and engineering feats aside of the former small city, the mountains here and the greenery, views, scope and size of the rock mountains etc. etc. is just amazing to behold. The 2 hr (commentary with guide) tour including train/bus to and from wasn't that expensive. If i recall correctly the day was around $200-300 USD includes pick up/return from Cusco. Once you get there, it doesn't have to cost a lot. Of course, some day tours start around $800 +. But do ur research.

In fact, looking at my humble bank balance, i didn't spend a lot of dough. It really is cheap to live in Sth america if you avoid the tourist traps/restaurants and eat with the locals. Once you fork out for airfare and accom, you don't need to spend a hell of a lot. Up to you.

Hi Belle. You're a mumma. So i'm tipping that your kids are going to call on you for comfort and support many times again throughout their lives. I'm sure they feel proud of you for taking an AF stance and taking back your life. If you can get through these little niggling situations or thoughts you're having, wow, you will be smokin'! cookin'! (pardon the pun!) How are you doing?

Welcome back from your river adventure Wags! What a cool find that hut was. Roaring powerful amazing ma nature. So important for our general health to get ourselves back out into nature regularly, especially if we're city slickers.

Narilly. Great to hear you're enjoying your job. Any pics of you in cowboy boots?...... Dancing downtown sounds like the ticket. To joy and freedom.

Big waves to y'all. Thanks for all of your supportive words and thoughts. Let the healing take place. Do what ya love.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Where are you [MENTION=24351]New Sunrise[/MENTION]? I really miss your newsy posts.

Your AF adventures sound so nice, Mr G and Wags. Great to be totally there for it and remember everything, isn’t it?
[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], I’m sorry your life is a struggle right now. The only thing I can say for sure is that drinking would cause more problems than it would seem to fix. Hang in there :hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had another one of those extremely hot & humid days when out of no where the skies opened up & dumped 3 3/4” of rain on us in a one hour period, OMG! I have only ever seen rain like that once before, down in Florida where people are more used to tropical storms. There were rivers of water running all over the yard & down the road, geez. After all that, it’s still hot & humid, haha!!!

G, thanks so much for the pictures. Looks like you had a wonderful trip

Wags, glad you are home now. We have the Susquehanna river running through PA & the do the same thing at the hydroelectric damn. One side of the damn looks wonderful & the other looks like barren wasteland. Hope you can ease back into work tomorrow.

Narilly, enjoy the stampede with no puking or any other gross stuff, LOL

Belle, I am sorry you are feeling so low. I do understand. The spousal snoring thing. Mine went for a sleep study 15 years ago, was told to lose weight to control the snoring. Yeah, that never happened so he has his own room now......wth can you do? You have to sleep to stay healthy & feel your best. Keep your focus on you, not him or his oddities. That’s how I got thru myself, honestly :hug:

Pav, hope you enjoyed your day.

Ava, I hope your Mom visit goes well. Bless you for trying to maintain a difficult relationship with her. My mom has been gone for 33 years & I would do anything to have a day with her :heartbeat:

Hello to NS & everyone dropping in the nest.

We are starting on round 2 of this storm now so I’ll wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,
I feel good and happy to be un-hung this morning. Hubs is up making another attempt at home fries. I never eat home fries even in restaurants, something about potatoes and onions in the morning just turns my stomach. I know I sound like I am being ungrateful, but all the years I could have used help in the kitchen like when the kids were young and around more, he was not interested. He is a perfectionist so if I 'helped' it would just turn into me being shamed somehow. So I let him go at it. I have about 6 square inches of space to prepare anything I would like (even to pour a cup of coffee) when he is cooking, which usually takes hours. he also makes a lot of carby stuff which I try to avoid.

Last night I spent time reading the manual for my new orbital sander that I am going to need for my next chalk painting project. I have an old drop leaf table that early on in our marriage was our only table. I used to bake a lot of bread, so there are a lot of marks from hot items being put directly on it. it will need major sanding. While I'm thinking of it, here are pics of the coffee table I rehabbed

IMG_8656.jpg
IMG_8736.jpg

I've never posted pictures before, so lets see how this goes.

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] I hope you had a nice day with your mum. Mine is gone too, and sometimes we had difficulties, but I so do wish I could see her again. [MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION]...funny that you were looking at your boots thinking about which ones you threw up on. I was never much of a puker either, though I might have been better off if I expelled some of the AL.

Mr G, thanks for the confidence boost. You are right, there is no place in the world like South America. though I only know Colombia, the people and the culture are so warm and welcoming. I hope to go back there again. the first time I was there in 2000 we could not travel outside of Bogota due to the FARC issues. Pretty much the same when I went in 2003. However when I went back in 2012, we were able to go far outside of the city and see so much of the country. from a wild bus ride through the mountains that I thought I would not survive! But what an experience!

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], we definitely have the same weather, even though I'm a bit further south. My son goes to college in Reading, PA, so if you're close perhaps you can peek in on him now and then? jk

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION] thanks for the ideas. Especially reminding me to do yoga which in fact I did do yesterday...however during my practice I noticed water dripping from he ceiling under the kitchen. Garbage disposal needed replacement. I do thank my lucky stars that hubs is able to do that work himself and today we have a nice new, quiet and non leaking disposal. After there was nothing else to wipe up I went back and finished my practice.

I hope all is well with everyone else...Wags, NS and all those I cannot remember to mention at the moment. Hubs is eating his massive cholesterol and carb filled breakfast now, so perhaps I can get in a few minutes to make something for myself.

And I am not drinking TODAY, no matter what, no matter who.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], I LOVE the effect of chalk painting! Do you have a YouTube video to recommend? Thanks, NS

PS My husband got all into doing the laundry AFTER kids were gone :huh:

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, the coffee table looks GREAT! I love doing stuff with my hands (except cleaning) ha.
I have really enjoyed my vacation, I hate to see it end. Tomorrow is back to the grind.
G, you are an amazing adventurer. I wouldn’t have the nerve to do what you’ve done. Heck, even the fact that you sing in front of others is astounding to me. Congrats on your 300 days!!
The other day my hubs asked me if I was ‘over it’. I looked at him as if his hair were blue. “How do you mean?”, I asked. He said, you know, do you still want a drink? Do you think you could have one now and then and be ok? I asked myself if I truly wanted to be honest with this person who obviously knew nothing about addiction. I was. I told him that the URGE to drink had faded, but I would be lying if I said I was ‘over it’. I told him it would be great to pitch the occasional bender and then resume along my merry way. It would be swell to have a drink every now and then and carry on as if nothing happened. But that’s not how this works. I told him it’s just like you see on tv. One drink would ignite the whole process all over again. I told him that I will have to be vigilant the rest of my life. It’s not the answer he wanted. He wanted me to be ‘fixed’. I’m as fixed as I’m going to get, which is 1000 times better than being in the throes of addiction. After all this time, he has no idea the extent of my problem.
Thats the beauty of MWO. Being in the company of others who ‘get it’ means the world to me. Thank you all for being here.
Hope everyone has an easy day!
Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Yesterday was nice, i had a lovely walk with my son and his dog and mums dog, the weather was lovely. Lav and Belle, i do love my mum a lot but she is such a hard woman and so very opinionated, i wish she would mellow so that i could have a conversation with her without being set on her straight and narrow, i wish i could enjoy her company but she is so bitter. As i said to my son one would think at 82 she would be grateful to be healthy and still going but thats not the way she rolls. i have to learn to accept that but i find it very had to smile and say yes mum when she can be so vicious about other people. Thats not who i am and i find it hard to accept in other people. I am sure my psychologist will help me to accept that she is who she is but i cant just walk away from her when she starts as i would still be walking ha ha. I know i will miss her when she is gone, i would love to have a relationship with her, i miss that i have not had one through the years.

Belle, your table is beautiful you should be very proud of that. i had a chuckle about you finding the leak as you were doing yoga. its a woman thing really!

I woke up to lots of rain, i hate driving in the rain as the roads can be so shiny that you cant see the lines but made it work and ready to start the week.

Byrd, its funny that the person who really set you on the path to sobriety doesnt get it and doesnt remember how bad you were or what he saw. You are spot on with saying how we would all like that one but we all know how it will end and i know i am not selling my soul to al ever again. I also could never ever imagine you posting on here that you drank, i would be heartbroken for you and for me.

G, happy 300 days, i am so proud of all you have achieved and what more you have to achieve in your sobriety. i do so hope you have a happy day. The sun will be extra bright today from your smile (well if the sun does come out through this rain). Much love for your 300th.

off to the salt mines i go.

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters!

Ava, thanks for your supportive and warm words. Coffee on my 365th?

Thanks Byrdy. It probably helps to be a little crazy which takes me to places i maybe wouldn't go if i thought too much about it! lol. I love your reflection on our relationship with booze. Yep, a little bender would be ace every now and then (something i've been doing these last few years really), but it has ramifications and is dangerous for us. And that's ok with me, now that i understand. I just embrace the light and endless possibilities of living sober. It is HUGE! Big difference. No russian roulette here.

Hi Belle. Wow, orbital sander! Right on! That table looks great. A top form of mindfulness is sanding and refurbishing furniture. Cool project. Do u have any more such projects in the wings?

Back to work for me this monday morning. Oh yeah, it's day 300! Wowza. The longest AF stretch i've had since 2.5. yrs which finished in 2011. I can see that 1 yr right up ahead. But it's no finish line, or race. Slow and steady and doing something i love every day is my approach. I look forward to today and all the treasure that awaits.

Take it easy out there and do what you love.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick check in.

Got up early and watched the US Women's National Team win their FOURTH World Cup - and second in a row. They are such an amazing group of women and a fun team to love.

Ava - glad you had a nice visit. Moms can be so...complicated sometimes. I try to remember that as I go on about my life as a mother also. I'm sure my mom vowed to be different from hers...

Byrdie - that is a surprise to me. I thought your husband, having issued the ultimatum, had this figured out. Go figure...

Lav, we never get summer rain here, so I have always liked a summer rainstorm when I am visiting other places, but NO ONE needs THAT amount of rain. Dang.

Mr. G - I didn't know you had 2.5 years. I do remember that you had some time. I don't know if we ever got your story and why you drank at that time. You sound so amazing and strong right now. Onward and upward!

Happy SOBER Sunday!
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Warm (hot) & sunny today, no storms so far. We really don’t need any ,ore rain for quite a while after yesterday’s epic storm

Mr G, Happy 300 to you!!!!
Wish I was close enough to have coffee with you & Ava

Belle, congrats on the new garbage disposal, LOL
I just want you to know that I cannot eat anything my husband cooks, nothing. He revels in high fat meals.....I just can’t.
Your table looks fabulous, good job! I was into furniture refinishing back in my 30’s, haven’t done any since.
My husband’s sister lives in Reading, haven’t been there for quite a while.

NS, my husband does all his own laundry now because apparently I can’t doit right. OK with me, LOL

Ava, maybe your mom’s personality has gotten her thru 82 years in one piece. Too stubborn to get sick maybe??
Glad you had a chance to visit anyway & see your son too.

Pav, that rain yesterday really startled me which is saying something, haha. Thought I had seen just about everything by this age.
The US Women’s Team really came through today, Yay!!

Byrdie, my husband doesn’t really understand either & I’m not going to waste my time & breath trying to get him to understand.
He quit smoking after I did (because he was jealous) & always talks about starting up again if/when he turns 70. IF he does, I’m throwing him out, haha!!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Love the table Belle. Yeah, finding a leak while doing yoga? Good job!

Way to go G, 300 days, oh yeah.

Lav, that’s cool your hubby does his laundry, you don’t need to do it. The chickens need you.

Byrdie, I am grateful you are here and everyone is here. We all understand each other.

Well I am falling asleep so I will talk to you later.

Don’t drink today. Xo

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 300 days Mr.G!! Ava,your relationship with your mom sounds like the one I have with mine and it makes me sad,she never really liked hanging out with me until I started drinking then we became very close,it's hard for me to wrap my head around it,Belle the table looks Fab!! Lav,ugh why would he want to start smoking again?!?! especially now when it's become so taboo,I wish drinking were the same but people tend to push that as the norm,my daughter is 26 and tells people she don't drink and they're astonished,weirdos! She just lays it out she don't like the hangover and she has babies to care for,why question that? Byrdie,I'm surprised your husband asked you that,I honestly think most people who don't have a problem just don't get it,my hubs asked why I can't "just take it slow" ugh cuz I can't! First one and I'm thinking of the next and go from comfortably numb to blackout super fast and still want more, grotesque! Waves to all and wishes for a wonderful day,no booze cruise