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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hi, All:

    Belle - I'm glad you came right back. I found the passage below - sent to me from a friend right when I first quit - to be helpful. I was searching for my "why" and my unique situation, and I found it helpful to give in to the community. (I think it is from the AA Big Book)

    We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
    Basic Text, p. 22

    "But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

    So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

    Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

    Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.


    I'm not saying you were making excuses to us, but I found I was making excuses to myself - it was a hard day so I "deserve" a drink. Well, we all have hard days and life gets lifey. I had to be honest with myself that I was not so unique. Maybe that will help you reframe the way in which you gave yourself permission to have that first drink. To be clear - I'm NOT judging you, just giving you MY experience.

    I have cold summers here, and I know the heat is stifling, but I would like to sit outside at night in shorts and a T shirt once in a while. I can't complain, I know, especially because I don't want any 106 heat index... Hope you all stay cool and un-frizzed.

    Happy Sober Hump Day!
    Pav

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      Re: Newbies Nest

      [MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION]...thank you so much for posting that passage. I've read it 3 times so far and get more from it each time. Yes, I am a pro at making excuses to myself. There is so much I need to let go control of...and most of those things were easy 'excuses' for me. I think this passage would be a wonderful addition to the Toolkit. I know I would like to easily find it and revisit as necessary.

      I used to live in Upstate NY where the summers were beautiful. It was just the 7 months of winter that were hard for me to get through. I cannot complain either. One of my favorite things to do when I have the time (and don't have to be up early) is to take long walks late at night in the summer. The dark and the quiet bring my soul back to peace after any type of day.
      BelleGirl

      Alcohol does me no favors.

      Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        [MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], I promised myself (and was determined to start keeping promises to myself!) that I would post here and wait for a response or text a sober friend before drinking, no matter what and no matter how many reasons I told myself I had for taking a drink. Just that pause can be enough to stop what for us has become an automatic habit in response to just about anything! And you definitely will get the response you need (and, I think, want) to hear if you'll just wait for it. I'm so glad you came right back and didn't let this evolve into a bigger deal. xx

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          Re: Newbies Nest

          Morning nesters

          Belle go outside, the heat will make you forget a drink, take some cold cold water and appreciate that you can be outside, so many cant. I think for me learning gratitude was the hardest. What did i have to be grateful for? i had to lose my best friend in the whole world (al), the one that understood me, the one that made me forget, my best allie in life but al was also the one causing my problems and until i said goodbye and started to look at the best side of life then i would be forever in its grip. now i wake up grateful i am sober, grateful i have my health, grateful just for being above ground really. I didnt think i could deal with life without al, but its doable. I did 100% need to be accountable and thus why i came here, i needed the tools to keep me on the right path. Im now over 100 days sf and i have taken on the same tools to stop smoking. its been so hard, i didnt drink on my way to work, i didnt drink at lunch time, i didnt drink on my way home, i didnt wake up and drink, so retraining my brain was hard. i cant have one smoke, if i do i may as well have 100, like i cant have 1 drink ever. We all have stops and starts and i just became tired of it all. All the brain crap, the guilt, the shame the mind f*ck that al gives. We are all a work in progress Belle and you will do this. Focus on the positives (even when you feel there are none). I remember walking behind mads with a kidney dish to collect her wee, it was funny now i think about it, the sense of achievement i felt!

          Still not internet, what a suprise, now i have no order number. oh give me strength. This has gone from 1 day to the modem being delivered to 3-5 business days. of course we had to disconnect our old plan before we changed over. The positive is i am getting a good nights sleep.

          Pav, great quote, i so had it worse than everyone else, no one got how bad my life was. then i stopped drinking and really my life wasnt that bad and isnt.

          take care x
          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

          Comment


            Re: Newbies Nest

            Good Morning

            I am back AGAIN. I just cant seem to shake this demon. I have the worst headache and feel sick. I am just over destroying myself with alcohol and the damage it is doing to me and my family. My son said the other day I love wine more than I love them.

            So here is to day 1. I have a Dr appointment this afternoon to go back on my antidepressants but thinking something to curb the alcohol abuse might be better.

            Enjoy your day everyone.

            Comment


              Re: Newbies Nest

              Welcome back, [MENTION=22610]Shell2575[/MENTION].
              You May find out that once you quit drinking, you will have removed the source of some of your problems! And the ones that remain will be so much easier to handle.
              What your son said must have hurt :hug:.Maybe you can use it to help remind yourself to keep going.
              take care of yourself, NS

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Welcome back, Shell! You’ve come to the right place. Every single one of us have been at the bottom of the hole and I’m sorry you are so low. I found that getting this monkey off my back went a long way to lifting my mood and anxiety. Life still happens, but problems aren’t compounded by AL. We’re so glad your here. Byrdie
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

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                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Greetings Nesters,

                  Sitting here in a big thunderstorm at the moment. There apparently is no cool weather to follow, only more heat & humidity

                  Belle. Hang in there. Until you remove AL as an option to handling life’s problems & stress you will find yourself repeating this behavior ~ just like all of us did in the past. Get some healthier tools & put them to good use. Glad you’re back!

                  Hello & welcome Shell, glad you are back as well. I hope the doc visit goes well & you get a good plan together for yourself.

                  Byrdie, I sometimes think Amazon is reading my mind. Their ads pop up & they always reflect things I’m thinking about, haha!

                  Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    I’m still here, Pav! Still moving forward, although I did suffer a small “accidental ingestion” episode once recently while on vacation and surrounded by the stuff (AL). My big one year will be coming on Sunday! It’s overshadowed in my mind with my daughter’s wedding that same week, and wanting to be strong enough for that. So, happy that I’ll have a year under my belt for it!

                    Welcome back, [MENTION=1472]shell[/MENTION] 2575! Your son’s comment can be used for motivation for helping you become alcohol-free.

                    Hello to everyone!
                    Last edited by Slo; July 17, 2019, 08:20 PM.
                    Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Welcome back [MENTION=22610]Shell2575[/MENTION]. This ain't my first rodeo here either. I had almost 5 years sober which ended a couple of years ago and I have been struggling on and off ever since. I quite often wonder what my kids think of me, how much they know about my drinking and what it has been like for them to see. With time, you can show your son that you do not love wine more than your family. But perhaps use that as a powerful reminder not to drink. I'm back on day one today myself. I hate feeling like I did this morning (and in the middle of the night when the GSR brothers came for a visit).

                      I made it through the witching hour, and if I can make it to dinner time, I am home free. I occupied myself with a new Instant Pot recipe: Red beans and rice. Enjoying it now! Lav, we had the same storm blast through my neck of the woods also. the tall oaks in the back yard were bending from the wind like they were made of rubber. I took Piper downstairs and took a nap. Even with the booms, I find sleep during rain storms comforting. Too bad the storm is not bringing any relief to the heat...but 'tis the time of year and I'd rather be hot than cold.

                      I'm trying to adjust myself to the fact that son is away doing his thing with friends, and at this time there is not much I can do about it. I believe [MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION] mentioned that we have to adjust to these new types of circumstances as our kids get older. I have been trying the AL route to adjust and it just didn't serve me well.

                      So here's to day 1. I made it. sometimes just getting a good reset does the trick.

                      Hi to all nesters and have a sober night/day wherever you are.
                      BelleGirl

                      Alcohol does me no favors.

                      Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Hi, All:

                        I knew you were around Slo - just looking forward to celebrating that ONE YEAR with you. I didn't realize that wedding was so close. You must be up to your eyeballs in planning. I hope you get to have fun as well.

                        LAST Day 1 down and dusted, Belle. Keep it up!

                        Welcome back, Shell. I hope you settle in and let us help you.

                        I have a long vacation coming up - I can't wait. It has been a while since I've taken one. Just headed on a few local expeditions and then relaxing here. I'm really looking forward to it.

                        Happy SOBER Thursday.

                        Pav

                        Comment


                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Quick check in on the fly, vigilantes and accountability🔲✔ those and the grace of God has kept me sober for 4 years 11 months and 13 days, but who's counting 😉
                          It's officially Africa hot in the Great state of Texas. Hope to read back and get caught up soon..
                          Stay hard freaks!
                          AF 08~05~2014


                          There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

                          Comment


                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            morning nesters

                            Welcome Shell, oh i cringed at what you said about the headaches and sickness from drinking. Those memories are just awful but they can just be memories for you also. I had awful anxiety and depression from drinking and was on ad's and xanax (occasionally, more so towards the end of my drinking career). now no ad's and seeing a psychologist for my anxiety which is helping. Believe us when we say life is better without al. I gave up drinking for my 4 children, i didnt care if i lived or died really but i did realise that i loved my children more than alcohol.

                            Pav, how long are you having off work? i am going to take september off i think. trying to work out going to thailand for a couple of weeks and money and blah blah blah.

                            Well still not internet at home, each time i ring the company up (telstra) to see when the modem will be delivered they cancel my order. Do not deal with a menopausal woman is all i will say to telstra. now said modem will be delivered on monday so another few days without a life, well it feels like that without the net at home. Dealing with a new co-worker who thinks they know it all and has an ego to match. I told my son i wanted a smoke yesterday and he was like "no you dont", i didnt but god stress certainly brings the addiction to the fore. So another day and TFIF is all i will say.

                            Daisy where are you?

                            Slo, wow Sunday is your year, so proud of you and you will shine at the wedding. I hope your sister is doing well now.

                            take care, back to the salt mines.
                            AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Good evening Nesters,

                              Just had another one of those storms but it’s still hot & sticky as hell, ugh!
                              Matt, I think PA is experiencing Africa this summer, yikes!

                              Slo, glad to see you & I’ll bet you’re thrilled with your upcoming anniversary Sunday, good job
                              Good luck with the wedding prep. Gosh, both of my kids were married in 2006, quite a hectic year that was.

                              Belle, AL is no longer an option for you or any of us. Healthy stress busters only from now on

                              Pav, where are you heading on vacation? I haven’t been anywhere this year, I’d love to though.

                              Ava, can you really take an entire month off? That’s unheard of over here you lucky girl!!!

                              Hello to everyone else. I am finishing up projects for Saturday’s craft fair, fun!!
                              Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

                              Lav
                              AF since 03/26/09
                              NF since 05/19/09
                              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Just popping in to say I made it through day 2. Really tired, but I did finally get a good sleep last night.

                                We didn't get a storm here, Lav...but it is supposed to be dangerously hot the next few days. Good time to stay in and work on my chalk painting project.

                                I'm lucky to get a 6 day beach trip this year...with teenagers. With all the ups and downs of wisdom teeth, etc. just did not make much of a plan this year. and you know...if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. But that's ok. Staying away from AL makes every day a vacation, right?

                                Good night, all...
                                BelleGirl

                                Alcohol does me no favors.

                                Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

                                Comment

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