Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sun everyone!

It is actually sunny here today and going up to 23C, finally. I am going to enjoy this glorious Sunday. I sat on the back deck in the sun and drank my coffee, now walking the dogs, then a bike ride. Sweet.

Pav, hope you are in a better space today.
Belle, yeah it’s tough with teens, hang in there.

Byrdie, Lav, sounds like you both are crafty. I love buying crafts but I certainly cannot make any of it.

Life, I hope you are doing ok.

Enjoy your Sunday everyone.

Don’t drink today. If you are struggling, just focus on today, you can do it, xo.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Whenever I find myself Romancing The Stoned,

:harhar:

Have a great week evabody! Find what u love and do it is my tip for the day.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well it hit 100 degrees this afternoon. With the extreme humidity the feel like temp was 110-115, OMG!!!!
Tomorrow we are supposed to get 2-3” of rain & supposedly it will cool off a little. I really can’t stand this heat, wipes me out. I run out to feed & water my chickens & come inside covered in sweat. Not pretty

Pav, I get very small twinges of jealousy when everyone else can order a drink & I cannot. The twinge lasts about 20 seconds before I remember why I choose not to drink then everything is OK. The dreams are disturbing but they do serve a purpose - keeping us on our plan

Belle, think positive thoughts about your son, trust that you taught well. I hope their drive home is easy.

Byrdie, if you crafted a few of your awesome cakes I’d drive down to buy one
I just read recently that the desire to craft things increases with age. Makes sense I guess & I like to see people smile!

Narilly, I stepped out on the deck after dark last night & thought I was seeing a big fire in the distance. Turns out it was just a gigantic orqange, yellow moon rising. I love nature.

Hey G, hope you have a good week as well!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. (The AC is on)!!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rahul's post is a good reminder to me - the first stages of relapse are mental/emotional. Last night I was feeling pretty bad and had a hard time getting into the fun. We met some friends at a bar, then while waiting for dinner went to another bar, then they had more drinks at dinner. I was having a wee pity party for myself, because I knew that one of those drinks would pull me out of my funk, at least temporarily. Normally I don't have a problem hanging out with them at bars.

I know what you mean, Pav. If we’re feeling good and in a good mood, then it’s easy enough to join in without drinking; but if we’re in a low mood that we can’t shake, then it’s so frustrating watching them all drink the ‘magic potion’ that we know could quickly pull us out of our funk -especially if we haven’t drank for awhile. But when we are addicted to it and imbibing the drug regularly, I would notice that it wouldn’t always work for me. It couldn’t be completely relied upon anymore to work it’s magic. More hit & miss.

I too feel a 20-30 second twinge of jealousy when everyone orders drinks, Lav -until I remember that this is ultimately my choice, and that I love all the many benefits of being AF!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie - great pun! But seriously, great strategy for dealing with thoughts of drinking. As NS says, they are just thoughts - we have different ones all the time that we don't feel compelled to act on. This always helps me reframe them. Somehow we get in this pattern of thinking about drinking, and we treat it as though it's an inevitability. So just imagine if the thought were something outlandish, like the thoughts we may have of seriously harming or getting back at a person in our lives (or in politics, or in a news story...) or telling an obnoxious person (hag?) at work off - even though we have those thoughts too, we don't actually believe we'll act on them. For drinking, I change the thought to dancing down the street naked with nothing but clown shoes on. Ridiculous! And no way I'm doing that!!! It helps take away the power that thoughts of drinking seem to have at times - helps remind me that we don't actually DO every thought we have.

Nar - ugh about your husband, and no thanks. Your day sounded much better! Glad you're liking your job so well, and I hope it lasts a long time.

Belle - yep, mother's intuition is powerful. Glad your son is ok and hopefully he'll be seeing the light by the end of this trip. That's one good thing about being with someone 24-7: you often gain new perspectives on that person and how/whether you want them in your life. Hang in there mama!


Well, I think my "light summer schedule" is coming to an end. In the past 24 hours I've received 2 new student requests and they both sound like ones I'll accept (actually already accepted one, meeting with the other today and she seems great so far). My max work load is about 12 students at any given time and I already had a carry over of about 6 from the July test cycle, so I'm quickly ramping back up. Here we go...!

Happy Mondays everyone. Have great starts to your AF weeks!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Oh, I forgot to tell a story - we went to dinner last night with a friend. Just a new pizza place we wanted to check out and eat there. Of course drinks were ordered first. My wife always gets an IPA, and our friend was trying to decide whether to get a hard cider or a beer, so we were chatting about options. When I only ordered water, she asked something like, "no cider???" and I said, "No, I haven't had a drink in almost 3 years." It felt SOOOOOOOOOOO good to say that out loud and to share that news with someone I know pretty well but don't often hang out with in a way that even could involve drinking (so she had no idea).

My 3-year milestone is this Wednesday. Unbelievable to be here now and such a stark contrast with where I was 3 years and 1 month ago. Never ever ever going back to that. Never.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love all the many benefits of being AF!

Keep those in mind as you enter your SECOND YEAR and you’ll be fine :smile:.

Big Congratulations, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION]. I’m so happy for you and impressed you’ve done this in spite of being surrounded by a drinking culture and having many experiences that others might see as good excuses to drink. You’re a strong AF woman I’m happy to call a friend :hug:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

CONGRATULATIONS, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] !!!! So happy to celebrate this enormous milestone with you. Keep it going, sister, and thanks for hanging around to help us all.

Wags, that STILL happens to me. People I sort of know but have known for a long time. It feels great now and I no longer feel ashamed to say it. I am proud that I am a non drinker. I do have to constantly explain. What I usually say is that I had enough in my younger days to last a lifetime... I just found out another old drinking buddy doesn't drink any more. I haven't seen her in about 10 years, but I wouldn't have pegged her as one of us. Goes to show...

Belle - thank goodness there weren't cell phones when I was younger. My mom wouldn't have survived if she knew all of those places I was... I try very hard not to worry about my own kids, but being used to that connection makes it hard. Glad he's ok.

Byrdie - Romancing the Stoned. Love it. That's for sure. I have that feeling I had after the Thanksgiving Massacre when I thought I was going to die from a hangover. I can look up my journal entries from that weekend as well. There's no romance there...

Kensho - hope you're ok and that things have evened out with your husband...

My first day off. I have a lot of chores and errands lined up that I don't have time for during the work week. I am actually looking forward to getting some stuff done and crossed off the list.

Happy SOBER Monday.
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

SLO, Hot Diggity Dog, you did it! Well done on your year of AF-ness! We are so proud of you, keep up the great work!!
:dancin:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Slo, happy birthday, you have certainly had the ups and downs of life in your first year but you gathered those tools and used them all as you needed. Proud of you and keep walking the walk. Sobriety is the best gift we can give ourselves and others.

Rahul, always nice to see you and there sure is a lot to be grateful for in life, one of them being we dont drink.

Lav, where you live sounds a lot like Melbourne, 4 seasons in one day. Winter will be upon you soon!

Byrd, your story shows another part of our addiction, i am glad you are out of that too and makes me wonder why your hubs talked to you about drinking again. maybe you could paint the pretty pictures for him again!

Wags, 3 years soon, isnt it amazing how life is just life now. Sobriety is definitely a journey and each year is different. The first year is the hardest, the second i worked on my emotions and really accepting sobriety and now its just who i am. Bet you were proud saying you were nearly 3 years sober. I tell people also and the drs at work are amazed, they see the bad side of alcoholism so they thinks its great to see the good side of getting sober and that it can be done.

Had some issues with my sons friend who lives with us on the weekend. he is an alcoholic and my son doesnt need that influence with the genes he inherited. They have been told not to drink in the house when i am home and do not come home pissed. Well this friend was bought home blind on friday and i was done. Packed his bags and out the door on Saturday. Needless to say i am the worst mother in the world (sons view) and was told i am the cause of his drinking. well that made me see red. He was pissy and had just woken up from a sleep so his words really cut but i just said no more, im done. If you cant show me respect then i cannot give it. Said son was going to move too but said son is still at home and its nice. he seems happier and i definitely am. i dont know if he is going to move out thats his choice. His friend is a leech, pays the basics and drinks the rest. Im Hopeful now my son will see how much stress his friend actually caused him and it wasnt his mother. Sadly, i look at this friend of my sons and he reminds me of my brother, drank his life away, used people and then had nothing and died a lonely death drinking. Al causes so much pain.

Nar, how is the working girl going?

Big hello's to everyone i have missed. LC where are you?

take care xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Sister Slo! Am i late to the party? Congratulations on 1 year booze free! Wow oh wowza! Just fab stuff. You kick ass mi amiga.

:rara::lotsasmiles::woohoo2::sendflowers:

Sister Wags! 3 years this wednesday! Golleeeeeeee!!

As for me, i'm clocking in today wit 315 days booze free. Let's celebrate the reclamation of our precious lives.

Whether you are on day 1, or day 1001, great decision going for gold again.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Just had the first of what will probably be a few thunderstorms this evening. Just hope it brings some much needed cool relief.

Slo, CONGRATS to you on your 1 year AF :yay: :welldone:
I am very happy for you & know that the second year will bring you much joy, you’ll see.

Wags, coming up on 3 years, Wow!!!!
Feels great to be comfortable in our AF skins, right?

Hello to NS, Pav, Byrdie & G!

Ava, I can’t wait for winter, haha!!! I hope your son chooses you over his troubled friend, that’s a real shame.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a comfy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, everyone! I couldn’t have done it without you! Thanks for your encouragement, holding me accountable, and your role-modeling for how to successfully live an AF life. And it helps so much to know that I am not alone!

This weekend I will be tackling my daughter’s wedding AF, after my abysmal failures to stay sober for D1 & D2’s weddings last year! I had 3 weeks sober right before D1’s January wedding, mostly due to knee replacement surgery 3 weeks before it; but caved right away. Then finally managed to scrape together 3 weeks sober before D2’s April destination wedding, but buckled immediately in that drink-y environment. Came on here in desperation and got a couple few weeks in before D2’s back-at-home wedding reception, where I blew it again for a massive drunk. And that was my last time drinking! D3’s will have to be a sober affair, but I feel as ready as I’ll ever be for it with a year under my belt now!

Ava, I do admire the empowered way that you dealt with your son’s friend. It’s your house after all! It is not fair to you, plus a bad influence on your at-risk son.
Pav, nice you have a little extra time to get stuff done.
It’s your turn to celebrate a year next, G! But first, Wag’s third!
Our extreme heat broke here now, Lav, so you should cool down next!

Thanks again, friends.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Way to go SLO!

Awesome Wags, 3 years!

You both are kicking butt, it’s just going to get better and better.

Ava, that was quite a weekend you had with your son and his friend. It will probably be good for your son not to have his friend around. Sure sad about your bro. I remember you talking about him.
Thanks, my job is good so fat.
Romancing the Stoned, haha Byrdie.

Well, goodnight everyone.

Xo

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] - I cross-posted with you yesterday morning and didn't see the news until today, but Congratulations on your huge one-year milestone!!! I personally think that's the biggest one. Every additional day/month/year is precious of course, but that first trip around the sun AF is probably the most challenging because of all the "first X's without drinking" you experience.

Now is not the time to let your foot off the gas. Sometimes people feel kind of a let down after getting past that year marker, and feel like ok - I did that and I can probably have a little now and then. Al will try every trick in the book to suggest that somehow things have magically changed for you. They haven't, and you know that. Keep up everything you've been doing that brought you to a year.

Ava - sorry to hear about the difficulties with your son's friend but good for you on putting your foot down!


Thanks for the early congrats on my 3-year anniv tomorrow - can't wait to celebrate this next milestone with all of you. Have great days and eves everyone!