Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick good morning.

Yes, Slo! I had heard about weddings but I guess I didn't really put it all together how many you've had. Keep us close in mind for this last one - dip into a private room and post here if you're tempted, but don't drink, no matter what! You've come this far, and it really does keep getting better. Those thoughts about wanting alcohol fade away to almost nothing. Keep it up!

Mr. G - Happy Days. I hope your re-entry hasn't been too trying this time. We're getting closer to that big one year for you, too.

Hi to everyone else. Going out of Internet range for a day. Catch you in a bit.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Yes Slo, happy to report the heatwave is now in the history books, thank goodness!!! That was damn awful, no kidding. Of course yesterday’s storms helped but they also caused a lot of damage in our neighboring county where we used to live
I got a text from an old work friend asking me to meet her for lunch in one hour, haha!! It was nice, last minute but nice to get together.

Slo, you are a new & stronger woman now for this upcoming wedding. Just go & enjoy the day. I wish I had been AF for my kids weddings because my anxiety was off the charts back then. I know better now

Pav, enjoy your internet free day, sounds good.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I am very happy for you & know that the second year will bring you much joy, you’ll see.

This is really life affirming for me to hear/be reminded of today. Thanks Lav.

You both are kicking butt, it’s just going to get better and better.

This is great to hear too......Thanks Narilly. Glad ur job is good and so fat. :-)

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] - I cross-posted with you yesterday morning and didn't see the news until today, but Congratulations on your huge one-year milestone!!! I personally think that's the biggest one. Every additional day/month/year is precious of course, but that first trip around the sun AF is probably the most challenging because of all the "first X's without drinking" you experience.

Now is not the time to let your foot off the gas. Sometimes people feel kind of a let down after getting past that year marker, and feel like ok - I did that and I can probably have a little now and then. Al will try every trick in the book to suggest that somehow things have magically changed for you. They haven't, and you know that. Keep up everything you've been doing that brought you to a year.

More valuable words from our 3 year birthday gal! Thanks Wags, and here 'tis wednesday morning so...............Happy 3 years booze free mi amiga!! Wowza! You are a bona fide Raaaaawk star! :lotsasmiles::bouncy::balloons::llama:

Hope all are as good as can be. Friend Kensho?

Day 316 here. the sun is shining on a cool winters day. Noice enough eh?

[Matt M.]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks, everyone! I couldn’t have done it without you! Thanks for your encouragement, holding me accountable, and your role-modeling for how to successfully live an AF life. And it helps so much to know that I am not alone!

This weekend I will be tackling my daughter’s wedding AF, after my abysmal failures to stay sober for D1 & D2’s weddings last year! I had 3 weeks sober right before D1’s January wedding, mostly due to knee replacement surgery 3 weeks before it; but caved right away. Then finally managed to scrape together 3 weeks sober before D2’s April destination wedding, but buckled immediately in that drink-y environment. Came on here in desperation and got a couple few weeks in before D2’s back-at-home wedding reception, where I blew it again for a massive drunk. And that was my last time drinking! D3’s will have to be a sober affair, but I feel as ready as I’ll ever be for it with a year under my belt now!

Ava, I do admire the empowered way that you dealt with your son’s friend. It’s your house after all! It is not fair to you, plus a bad influence on your at-risk son.
Pav, nice you have a little extra time to get stuff done.
It’s your turn to celebrate a year next, G! But first, Wag’s third!
Our extreme heat broke here now, Lav, so you should cool down next!

Thanks again, friends.

Congratulations!
You are now born again hard!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Wags, a great big happy 3rd birthday. You have your life together 180% and its been such an honour to watch you grow as each year passes.

Have a lovely day today, hugs and love.

Ava xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Figured I had better check in...so not to be AWOL. Firstly, congrats to those hitting milestones!!! Well done!

Son's trip turned into a disaster when the Drama Queen (DQ) pulled a knife on him...events leading up to it were ugly. The guys decided they could not ride home with her and decided to fly home. DQ had been raging about the guys going for their long walk (to get away from her raging) and they could take no more. DQ tried to take son's backpack and run so he went after her to get it back (his laptop was in it)...that is when she pulled the knife. Just a couple minor cuts and scrapes, but good lord Almighty could have been worse. She took off and the guys stayed in a hotel till they could fly home the next day. Son is weepy because he considered her one of his best friends. Friends don't pull knives on friends........

I've been trying to recover from all of this. I am a wreck but not a drunken wreck thankfully.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION] - OMG, that's really awful what happened with your son! I'm so glad that he and his other friend made a good decision and opted out of spending any further time with her. She sounds very unstable and she probably needs help, but that is not your son's job and kudos to him for taking care of himself. I hope you're doing ok with everything mama - that can't have been easy for you to hear about and worry through either. :hug:


Woohoo for me - it's my big 3-year milestone. Wow, the past 3 years have gone by very quickly in some ways, even though I can name off a gazillion things that have happened during that time. I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment - not for the 3 years especially, but for the rest-of-my-life I know it actually represents. The farther I get from my quit date, the more things seem both easier and harder. Mostly easier, in the sense that I rarely think about al anymore and am not terribly tempted to drink even in the face of challenges. But harder in the sense that I have to work to remember how bad things got as it seems a distant memory at this point. But periodically I *do* make myself reflect back and recall how rock bottom I'd gotten because that helps me protect my quit. I don't ever want to feel so solid with things that I transform that thought into "I'm probably all better now since I don't seem to think about al very much - surely I'm healthy now." NO. Al still is and always will be poison, and it doesn't suddenly become safe to drink. So here we go, onward and forward into year 4. It has a nice ring to it!

Happy hump days and eves everyone!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags! 3 big years!!! Whoooty Whoot! That is a great perspective to have, what 3 years represents! I’m so proud of you and thank you for all you do for us here in the nest! :angelgirls: It’s a proud day! Bydie

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations [MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION] on your big day today, your 3-year milestone! I will heed your advice and plan to make this a lifetime quit also. As you can see by my join date, I experimented with moderation for a long time already. Also, I have learned from people on here (such as yourself) who have given up previous kinda long quits, and it has not worked out. Plus, I don’t want to go through a year like this again!
We both have to remember that we were that bad!

Thanks, Matt M. I’m a solid AF freak now, and I will stay hard!

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION], I love how you are a shining beacon of hope for the docs you work with that it is worth it for them to work to heal all the alcoholic patients that they treat; that there can be a good outcome!

Belle, your son learned a good lesson by experience.

I’m loving this weather, [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION]!

Good evening to all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Wags, we are all so proud & very happy for you! 3 years AF is a big deal :welldone:
I really can’t conjure a lot about my drinking behavior but I know solidly that I will never go there again. I would have to be completely nuts to give up my freedom. We have broken those chains that tied us down for so long ~ no going back!

Belle, I don’t even know what to say but I am really sorry your son had to go thru that trauma. The girl is obviously disturbed, needs professional help. I hope she finds it soon before she really hurts someone.
These things are naturally upsetting for any parent, you did well not to drink at the situation. Keep the gratitude going that your kid is OK.

Ava, Matt, G, Byrdie & everyone - HELLO.

Nothing spectacular going on here so I’ll wish everyone a safe night in the nest.

Lav

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Newbies Nest

Fantastic on 3 years, Wags!!!! You're crushing it! Keep it going, girl!:sohappy:

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 3 years Wags!!!!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning All:

I took a 24 hour break from all technology. Haven't done that in a while and it felt great.

WAGS!!! So very excited to celebrate this amazing milestone with you.

[But harder in the sense that I have to work to remember how bad things got as it seems a distant memory at this point. But periodically I *do* make myself reflect back and recall how rock bottom I'd gotten because that helps me protect my quit. I don't ever want to feel so solid with things that I transform that thought into "I'm probably all better now since I don't seem to think about al very much - surely I'm healthy now." NO. Al still is and always will be poison, and it doesn't suddenly become safe to drink. So here we go, onward and forward into year 4. It has a nice ring to it!

This is very well said. Sometimes I think I don't have to do any more, but really, I do. I don't want to go back there, ever, and the evidence is in - we need a sober community to help us stay sober. I really appreciate your coming here and posting - I love hearing about your adventures, and I love your no-nonsense approach to staying sober. CONGRATULATIONS, and onward!!!

Belle - WTAF?? It does sound like she needs help - was she drunk or high when she did that? Maybe she has a mental illness? Thank goodness everyone is ok. Glad you're maintaining your sobriety through it. Imagine trying to deal with all of that drunk?

Glad you're cooling off, Lav. Your weather is crazy.

Hope you're all good, LC, Kensho, Sunrise, Daisy. Come and check in if you can.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

But harder in the sense that I have to work to remember how bad things got as it seems a distant memory at this point. But periodically I *do* make myself reflect back and recall how rock bottom I'd gotten because that helps me protect my quit. I don't ever want to feel so solid with things that I transform that thought into "I'm probably all better now since I don't seem to think about al very much - surely I'm healthy now." NO. Al still is and always will be poison, and it doesn't suddenly become safe to drink. So here we go, onward and forward into year 4. It has a nice ring to it!

I really can’t conjure a lot about my drinking behavior but I know solidly that I will never go there again. I would have to be completely nuts to give up my freedom. We have broken those chains that tied us down for so long ~ no going back!

Congratulations on your 3 years of Better Living, Wags. I agree with you and Lav that it is hard remember how bad it was. The ability to forget the bad stuff is probably a necessary human trait to allow the species to survive - women who can remember what it was like might not be willing to have more than one baby!!

Most of my drinking memories now are more intellectual than visceral. I have to concentrate to conjure up any feelings about the situation I was in but like you, I think it is worth doing occasionally, especially when you know an upcoming situation will be challenging or for me, after a challenging situation is over.

As I've said many times before, our rose-colored memories are baked into the system. I think it is why programs such as AA promote continued participation. Without reminders, most of us will minimize how bad things were and with that, open ourselves up to making choices most of us will regret.

While there likely are many people who leave MWO and lead great AF lives, I'm cautious enough not to take that chance and anyway, enjoy hanging out with all of you :hug:. I hope people who have drifted away choose to come back.

xx, NS

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Wags, so true, not drinking gets easier but we always need to be aware. i know last weekend after my sons crap, i just wanted a drink and a smoke and have a case of the f*ck its but i didnt, i came on here and i used the nicotine spray like there was no tomorrow. i dont want to go back to drinking or smoking. Im done with addiction. Great work Wags.

Belle that is awful about your son and his friend, i hope both boys are safe now. They always want and need us Belle! Glad you didnt drink as that was so stressful, a first you got through and many more to come.

Hi Mr V, hope you are well.
How are you going Pauly?
Where are you NS and Daisy?

NS, i really have to think about how bad I was and how bad al was now. I feel more now like i never lived through that hell and nor do i want to. I do have photos to remind me of how awful my life was and i can see the damage i have caused in my children but i can only set an example of being sober. I also see the damage al causes working in a hospital. My daughter was going to text me the other day and ask if i wanted her to bring the wine she had in the fridge to my house. As she said to me "wtf mum you havent had a drink in 5+ years and i still wanted to ask that question". Ahh the memories are still there.

Looking forward to the weekend of doing nothing, my house is so much quieter without my sons friend. He understands why i asked him to leave so there is no ill will, although i am pissed that it came to me having to do this and me being the bad guy. We cant save others, we can only save ourselves and our own quits. I just feel sorry for him that he will kill himself drinking but people dont realise that until its too late. That will to lives is very strong when the crunch comes. Ive been asked to go to a 30th birthday party but not my scene, i dont know anyone, i dont feel like being the designated driver so home i stay. its hibernating weather.

take care xx