Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I came across an article in Sober Recovery today that seems relevant to any of us who have made our way to a stop drinking forum: 3 Warning Signs of Addiction Relapse

1. False Confidence
One clear sign that a relapse is near is when the person believes they are strong enough to use alcohol again without falling back into addiction. The person believes they can handle just one drink.
Stop! You absolutely cannot handle "just one drink,” especially if you are in recovery. Taking even one sip is a recipe for relapse – and a chance you shouldn’t take. When you resent those who try to point this out, it is a strong sign that you are swaying off the path of recovery and heading for a relapse.

2. Changes in Attitude or Behavior
Becoming defensive and unable to accept constructive criticism indicates a relapse in the looming future. Showing signs of aggressiveness, irritation with others and feelings of frustration that deteriorate into anger are significant signals that something is changing.
This behavior is the beginning of the same pattern of denial that was present during the addiction. It can even morph into feelings of depression and loneliness. This is a time when you need to lean on your support system more than ever.

3. Signs of Stress
Research clearly demonstrates that stress is a major contributor to relapse in alcohol sobriety. Many studies have demonstrated a powerful association between alcohol use and constant anxiety.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

TJ, congrats on your 6th birthday, a wonderful achievement. Following very happily behind you.

Pav, what a lovely time away by the sounds of it. I have a work phone that i have now learnt not to look at when the day ends and emails for that matter. i get paid to do a certain amount of work and since i am not recognised for my work, i am now refusing to do it unless in the set hours of employment. its hard but its working.

NS, great post. My biggest fear is relapsing when stressed especially now i have no crutches to fall back on. Thus why the psychologist is a godsend and im learning although i always come on here if my days are crap. Being accountable to a major factor in my sobriety and always will be, its now a part of my life MWO. No running away for me.

Working from home tomorrow and then a 4 day weekend with my cousin. the weather is going to be damn cold but thats ok. lots of coffee, lots of talking and lots of walking. i cant ask for a better weekend than that.

How are you settling in now LC?

Nora a big hug for 4 years.

back to the salt mines.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

‘Twas another stinkin hot day BUT cooler weather is on the way, yay!! My chickens will be happier too

Pav, glad to hear you enjoyed your unplugged time, sounds good!

NS, I knew then & will never forget that I had become the Queen of Anxiety back in the old days. I had so much BS piling up on me (mostly family related) & my usual healthy coping mechanisms stopped working for me. I turned to the wine bottle for relief not knowing where it would land me. Never again, lesson learned

Ava, I hope you have a wonderful time with your cousin :hug:

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone one of us!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS, thank you so much for that article. I realize that I have quite a few of those triggers going on in my life. I am frustrated and a little depressed, I think. My inclination is to want to be alone but I am making myself post and check in every day. I’m not at risk for drinking, but I want to keep it that way. I appreciate those well-made points you shared.

Pav, that is an experiment that I should really try.....to unplug. It IS a habit, checking that phone during every spare minute. Don’t want to miss anything....like a cat video, or a political post. Ugg. We are joined at the hip to our phones, it’s nuts! I want to make an effort to limit my screen time. Thanks for making me realize I won’t die if I don’t check every 3 minutes!

Hope everyone one had a great Toozday! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody.

Congrat's on 6 years AF TJ! Wowza mate. great work and always good to c u pop in. :woohoo2::llama:

Byrdy, no we won't die if we turn off our technology for awhile regularly. I think i can leave a phone on in case it rings with an emergency, but i don't have to check it all the time! The idea of not turning our tech on first thing in the mornings and a no tech window leading up to sleep at night is something to consider.

Ava, have a nice time with ur cuz.

NS. Thanks for the relapse post. For me this is a major reason i do a self care routine EVERY morning before i read emails etc. or do anything. If i am feeling 'nah....not gonna bother with my usual 1 min. simple, do able, handleable yoga set, and 5 mindful breaths routine' then that is my red flag and indication that something is not right and i am wavering off course. The rudder is loose and needs attention! The other advantage and reason i do this simple daily self care practice is because the science is in. There is evidence that this will forge new healthy ways of thinking, perspective/outlook on my life. So i do it. Zero, i say no reason not to if ur in the rebuilding your life caper like we are.

Day 323! Have a bewdy out there and think positive.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I need help. I feel I’m past help.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION], there you are! I was wondering when you would come back! It’s not too late, although it is possible that you could require medical help for detoxing, and possibly inpatient or outpatient rehab. But it is imperative that you quit now! So glad that you reached out and are back in the fold!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I need help. I feel I’m past help.

Hi Jvo! Stick around here and we will help you. What's been happening? Are you at home? Hold on friend.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

If you are willing to do what it takes, [MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION], there is always hope. And you know you have many friends here who are eager to do whatever possible to help you. We want you to be free, too. You are worth it. xx, NS

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

I need help. I feel I’m past help.

Asking for help is a sign of strength. When in a hole, the first rule is to stop digging. What can we do to help you with your Plan? Thank you for reaching out. Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

J-vo I think about you all the time! Glad to see you but wish you weren't going through this is there anything we can do to help? Please stick with us

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Jvo. Nothing is past help or hope. Hugs to you :hug:

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you all. I haven’t been too far from MWO. Lurking and wishing for a better life. So we took a family vacation to Vegas last week. We had a wonderful time. Saw shows, ate big, and of course drank. But not to the point of sloppy drunk. Son was with us. So what happened was that we all stayed in the same room. I have sleep apnea and this got son worried. I snore so loud. And when we got home, we start d talking about it. And he (son) always did get upset at my drinking. He’s 21 and he’s been a responsible drinker. So last night was the last straw for him. He got so angry at me for drinking wine, yet again. I think my husband has some of the super bad habits as I do, but he doesn’t drink all week and not in dangerous amounts like I do. So I logged on here as I am hoping to get myself sober and better. I am losing people, and I can’t risk this anymore. It’s not just about me and my health. It’s about those I love. But I have to start with me. So, here I am, asking for support and thanking I have people that know me and know this disease. I need help in being accountable. I can’t do this alone. I feel very alone right now. Very sad. Thank you for your support.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:
[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION] - I'm glad you reached out. Let us know how we can help. I know that your relationship with your son is very important to you and that he's been one of your reasons to quit in the past. Maybe you can start with that focus to give you the inspiration you need.

Pav

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola Nesters,
Checking in to remain accountable...busy couple of days but trying to catch up with things at home.

[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION], I have felt beyond hope before, but I Love what Byrdy said "when in a hole, first stop digging". I've been using the "fake it till you make it" thoughts as if I am a non-drinker. And I keep telling myself that no matter what (i.e. husband is a pain in the ass lately), I am worth it, worth what it takes to not drink. I think a lot of us have been where you are now. Stick close. Find your go-to thoughts or activities when you are craving or triggered. I have been going out on my deck and looking at my beautiful (to me) backyard.

That's about all for now. lots to do today. but drinking is not on the list.