Newbies Nest

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

How long does the deprivation go on or is there a trick for that? Just thinkin that my other quits it didn’t go away.

The short answer is that it took 11-12 months for the deprivation feelings to go away for me. Now I experience so many benefits to being sober that I am more often at peace & acceptance about this, and own it as my choice, and don’t care so much that the rest of them drink. I’m just grateful that I don’t anymore!


[MENTION=23208]wagmor[/MENTION], then you two & your dad must’ve biked or walked on your family outing the other day. That’s good for your dad! Glad that your second car accident is getting more distant in your rear view mirror.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sounds like a solid but yep, also sad doco Jvo.

All i know is i can only lead by example and just try to be my best self daily. I can't expect or change what others think or feel about me or my past behaviour. I can't control that. I can only hope people will forgive, but i must be ok and accepting if they don't. So my way forward, and something i CAN control and have power over is me and my actions. Who am i and what am i today? I can only go for being my best self and keep at it every day. This is my only hope at regaining some level of respect from others near and far.

But, I cannot be attached to the outcome. That i cannot control. Building my self respect to begin with. Can be a slow process, but i can chip away at it with a simple daily program/plan of self care. the Yogi's in India say around 40 days to build a new routine/habit in our minds and bodies. Some in the west say 21 days or 30. Daily practice is the magical tip.

Geez, this 300 days + sober lark has a fella yapping his head orf!

Wags, that biking sounds the ticket! And not to bbb, ggg.....al....boozeville!

Slo, the peace and acceptance you mention has arrived within me too. To a large degree. The system really settles when we stop drinking poison! Then when we continue on to healthier more mindful eating/nutrition along with shaking that ass by gittin out the door regularly for a walk/swim/jog whatever, some kinda peace and contentment will appear. The main winner for me is i need a daily morning head check to keep a handle on where i'm at and to address any stress i see brewing.

Big waves to evabody. take it easy out there.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Checking in from the land of chronic heat & humidity. This is getting boring & I find myself wishing away time. I can’t wait for those cool evenings & crisp mornings of Fall!!! OK, no more whining haha!!

Jvo, I replaced the deprivation thinking with gratitude. Instead of ‘I can’t drink anymore’ I changed it to ‘I’ll never have another hangover’ or ‘I’d rather have the freedom & mind peace than a bottle of wine’. It’s a thinking game & you can win every time if you choose to be a winner
I just checked my phone, forgot I still have the Calm app & the Simple Habit app - both very good.
Give yourself some time to settle into this new AF life, you’ll be fine.

Slo, still too hot out your way as well? Ugh!

Wags, I’d love to ride a bike again but honestly, on these narrow country roads I’d be afraid of getting run over by a pickup truck or a horse trailer. I’d also be afraid of passing the horse & buggy folks that are all over the area. Glad you can ride & be happy.

Well I’m glad to report that my Golden Retriever visitor found & returned 2 baseballs that my grandson hit the other day. For an 8 year old he’s a pretty good hitter but the balls end up in the hedgerow or under the deck, LOL

I hope we can send a collective prayer & tons of strength to the victims of today’s mass shooting in El Paso. How & when do we stop these senseless murders?
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

SLO, yes, I believe it takes that much time and more. It’s encouraging to see how well you are after a year. One day of success builds on the next and the next until you get stronger and may not even realize you’ve come so far.

G, you’re right. We can’t change others’ perceptions of us. But if those we love and those that really mean something to us, they’ll see the good changes as each day progresses. The others can go pound salt! Be our best self everyday. Yes.

Lav, I used to visit the gratitude thread daily. I need to get back to that. And thanks for the reminder to change those negatives into positives. Retiring the brain does take consistency and effort, and I have to remember to do that! That’s what’s so great about support. We are reminded of these things daily in case we forget.

Have a good night.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I’m mad! I lost my post:sad:

SLO, that’s so wonderful that you have that sense of peace after one year. Each day builds upon the next until that magic happens. But it happens a little everyday that you might not notice it until maybe a big milestone. One day at a time. Thank you.

G, yes, we can only hope they can forgive, but maybe some people can’t. I believe I’ll have forgiveness. Maybe not by everyone or maybe their perception of me will never change, but that is not my problem either. Some people stay stuck and we will continue to grow into better people. Be your best self, everyday. Yes.

Lav, I forgot about the gratitude thread. Thanks for the reminder. And the reminder on how to reprogram our brains. I’ve got a lot to do in that area. I’m glad everyone’s here to remind each other of these tools. So important. I know I can’t rely on my memory anymore.

Have a great night.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ok, apparently I didn’t lose my post. So now you can read one or other or neither. I tried to delete one and just so happens, I can’t figure that out!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

lol Jvo.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION] - we walked and took the bus when we went out with my dad!
[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION] - thanks for the doc title - I'll have to check that one out


Happy Sunday days and eves everyone. Hope your weekends all end on a good AF note!

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Sunday everyone!

Welcome JVo, so glad to see you here. Take it day by day girl, I know you can do it. Hey, remember The Bubble Hour podcasts? Maybe that would be good to listen to. I found them so helpful in the early days.
You are in the perfect place, together we can do this.

Its a long weekend here and I went to my friend's cabin by the lake yesterday with my family. Everyone was drinking all day EXCEPT ME! Yay! I drove home at 10pm and got stopped by a police check stop, they made me take a breathalizer test and I blew the big 0. Oh yeah baby! I was so proud of myself, not having to worry about having AL in my system. It was awesome.
It's a beautiful weekend here and I am enjoying it, now I am going to have a cuppa and relax with my doggies. (2 Daschunds JVo, I love your icon btw)

Hey Life, so glad you checked in. You sound great.
Byrdie, yes, I hope you can retire soon too.
Slo, Lav, we don't have weather that is too hot. It is just right, we are lucky right now. Not so lucky when it's -30 for weeks on end.
G- that's cool that you teach on line, sounds like a good gig. I may have to ask you about that one day. I just bought an ebike and am going to start riding to work. 11kms each way but doable with an e bike. I am looking forward to that.
I used to ride or roller blade into work and so many times I would be battling a hangover, ugh. Its way better to ride when you are feeling good.

Have an excellent Un Hung Sun

Don't drink today xo

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning. I actually slept so well. Day 5 here. It’s a super hot and sunny day so going to my girlfriends house to swim. I’m looking forward to it.

I’ll have to get some tutorials on tech stuff. I never did learn properly how to copy and paste quotes. I either have a notepad to write notes as I read then I can reply with my thoughts, or have to keep scrolling up to reread. And how do you put someone’s username in blue. I need some serious training.

Something about last night. I felt peaceful, sitting on my couch last night, reading on iPad. Watched a bit of Netflix. When I went to bed, I was really tired from not sleeping the night prior. It felt good to be sleepy and not just pass out. To drift to sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed. Thank you all for being here. I’m wanting sobriety more than ever. I’m ready. I have the tools and the support. There’s no way I will let that poison kill me anymore. I’ve been dying for years in so many ways. Not anymore.

Have a good day.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Nar, cross post! You’re sounding fabulous girlfriend. I’m glad to be back with you all. How do you feel when at those functions where everyone is drinking? Is it hard? What goes thru your mind? Has it gotten easier?

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday, Nesters!
[MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION]! that part I know.. you just do the "@" and then follow with the users name, without a space or anything.. then it comes up blue. You are sounding great after 5 days af and a good sleep! Well done.:love: I jumped on the docu wagon yesterday and watched several I hadn't seen before. One HBO broadcast from 2015, Risky Drinking.. and then a BBC doc about the fentanyl epidemic in the U.S.. For me it helps to watch such shows sometimes, to see the devastation addiction causes. As we said the other day, nobody WANTS to live as an addict.. and the longer one continues to use, the more difficult it can be/is to stop.

Today I had stupid cravings around dinner time when I was out to eat with my eldest. I ordered a genmaicha tea, focussed on my lovely daughter and what she was saying, realizing how lucky I am that she wants to share her life with me!, enjoying the warm summer evening.. I thought about what was going on and knew I didn't want to feel woozy in my head, knew that I never want to start this journey again.. it was just some sort of knee-jerk reaction/habit, whatever, of times past. We came home and I changed into my jammies and decided not to go out again tonight.. just to be safe! Then I wrote in my journal and am now checking in here. Journaling has been good for me. I've begun many journals in my life but at some point I end up ripping out the pages I don't like and throwing them away. When I started this one, I made the decision to make it progressive, positive, a real workbook (most of mine have been more "complain" based) of sorts to go deeper into the reasons I think I want to drink.. combined as a gratitude journal. I like it. It feels like a safe place and I'm losing the fear of someone possibly finding it when I die (or before!).:happy2:

Wags, I love riding my bike to run errands! So nice that it's something you and your wife enjoy doing together..
Nar, good to see you! An Ebike sounds pretty cool.. there are a lot around here, too. I might have to try one out.

Oh gosh. I just saw that there was another shooting in Dayton, Ohio. How very sad, tragic. What the heck is going on.. just one after the other..

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Our weather isn’t too bad here, although hot enough now where I did have to turn the A/C back on today.

Glad you got a good sleep last night, Jvo. That helps enormously.

That’s my problem with journaling too, Lifechange: ripping out pages and worried that someone will read it before or after I die! Keeping it positive, progressive, & constructive this time will help with that.

[MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION], so fun to get stopped and then blow a 0%!!

I took my sister’s car & keys after her near-DUI the other night. I don’t have a legal right to do that, but her next DUI will be a felony!!

I’m with you, Guitarista: healing from this is also requiring that I pay attention to diet/nutrition and get very regular exercise; I have needed to have a real focus on self-care, lots of rest, and laying low.

Best wishes to all for a safe night in the nest!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, I saw the one documentary, risky drinking. Yeah, I like to watch docs also. Puts fear in me and that’s what I need. Also, they can be inspirational to know that we can all recover. That’s so great your daughter wants to share. How special that is. My son is 21 and wants nothing to do with communicating. Hopefully someday. Glad your journaling is so therapeutic for you!

It was a beautiful summer day. We swam and at way too much including dessert. When drinking I want nothing to do with good food and yummy sweet treats. But I was all over that shit today. I’ll be taking a Tums tonight!

Have a good night.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

I had a lovely afternoon with daughter & her family here. We cooked out & ate inside since it’s still too hot out for comfort.
My granddaughter is almost 8 1/2 & she is a character, very smart & entertaining

Jvo, you sound like you are ready to be a winner, yay!! Congrats on your 5 AF days, just keep moving forward & the days will pile up fast.
Your son & the rest if your family will come along when they see the new & improved you developing right in front of their eyes. I was worried too that no one would ever trust me again but they did & looking back it really didn’t take very long at all

Slo, I am truly hoping that no one in my family ever finds this website & reads my10+ years of posting. This was truly a therapeutic & personal blogging for me & I wouldn’t care to share it with anyone either.
I think you did the right thing for your sister, must have been hard for you. I hope she realizes that you may have saved her life & the lives of others on the road :hug:

LC, so happy to hear you thought things thru & decided against a drink. Those things happen less & less the longer you are away from AL. How nice to be out with your daughter & remember everything!

Narilly, you sound extremely happy & I am happy for you

Hello to G, Wags, Byrdie & everyone checking in tonight.

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav