Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Well we finally had a nice day around here, not hot & no humidity to deal with yay!
We went to a music festival put on every year called The Old Fiddlers Picnic, really had a nice time. Boy we really needed a distraction, haha!

Feathers, hello & welcome back to the nest!
Quitting now is the best thing you can do for yourself. I was a wine guzzler too & did a slow taper by cutting back 1 glass every day until I felt I could just quit safely. Having a doctor on standby is not a bad idea or at least have a friend or someone who can check on you frequently.
Quitting the AL is the first step but you need to pay attention to your water intake, good multi vits & minerals, good healthy food, etc. Remaking ourselves is not a one day task, it takes time. Stay close to the nest & let us know how you’re doing.

Jvo, great job on your 11 days, keep moving forward
FB does not need to be part of your life right now, no worries.

G, I’m feeling very happy for you getting so close to your 1 year anniversary

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night on the nest for all!
Lav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Feather, here is a link I saw down below in “research” section of forum. How To Taper Off Alcohol

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Mr.G that was a very honest post,yes drinking sucks! We all know that but I know too that I did get some kind of perverse joy in sitting there feeling sorry for myself,I felt like it was ok to cry my eyes out over losses I've had and frustrations I was feeling but in the end I'd just want to be sober again so it was really just a waste of time in the end,Lav,that's what I did the first time I ever quit too,just waited a bit longer in the day and had fewer beers until it was 0 I was sooooo scared to quit for many years cuz of the horrible stories of alcohol withdrawal but I don't think the stats are really very high of seizures and stuff anyways from what I read now so I basically stayed stuck for no reason,now if I could just get past the drinking every few months hurdle I'd be ace wishes for a happy and healthy AF day for us all

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

So grateful for a clear head on a Sunday morning. My son went out partying with his boys last night and had to get up for work this morning. He looked like hell before he left, eyes and face in pain. He reminded me of that pain and I’m so glad I don’t have that right now. It’s a relief. Hope he makes it through the day.

Ava, have a wonderful mother/daughter weekend.

Byrdie, I understand the job pain. I’m also going through that myself. Complete burnout, it’s a struggle. My thoughts are with you. Ain’t easy, but imagine how much worse it could be with a bottle in your hand.

G and Pauly, yes, an empty shell. So sad, worthless, a waste of life, a poor existence. I don’t want that anymore in my life. I want to experience life and what it has to offer. I’ve lost too much time living in my hell. So glad we can find adventures and share them together.

Lav, sounds like a nice day!

Bad dreams last night. One I remember I was at a concert. I was so drunk and just crying and crying. People were looking at me, watching me, this pathetic person. Then I remember I straightened up after the concert, and I tried to act like it was nothing and pretended I was fine and feeling good, but it was a lie. I felt such regret and remorse. These bad dreams are intense and I’m glad, because when I wake up, I cringe, and it makes me hate alcohol even more.

Have a nice day.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

My grandfather is the only person I know who suffered from withdrawal symptoms from al. He was a heavy drinker and got sick with the flu. Because he was so sick, he couldn’t drink and ended up having seizures and hallucinations. Dad told me it was really bad. He quit sprinkling for years but went back to beer until he died from lung cancer. I loved him so much. He spoiled my sis and I so much. He was the type of pap that said, “get your pj’s on and let’s go to eat n park!” What an amazing man he was. He was a milkman, and in summertime, he would drive his truck down our street and hand out treats to me and my friends. :heartbeat:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Nice quiet day here although I did have my younger grandson here for a few hours. He seems to be maturing & not going off the rails so much, thank goodness

Jvo, even the bad dreams teach us something. Anything that helps reinforce my quit is OK with me.
Nice you have good memories of your grandpa, cherish those.

Pauly, I spent too many years hosting my own pity party & I swear I will not go there again. Look where it got me
Maybe you should think about making some changes, some new long term goals. You would have to stay sober to work toward your goals, right? I just don’t want my grandkids seeing me do anything stupid, I wouldn’t do that to them

What’s everyone else up to today?
Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slept in until 10:00 today! Woa! I must have needed it. It's that time of day when I can sometimes have alcohol cross my mind out of habit, and I think it's because I'm hungry. Usually, a bit of juice and a bubbly water take care of it.

I can't believe kids start school soon! I took them shopping today. Still have to work tomorrow but I'll do my usual ice cream venture tomorrow afternoon to end the summer. I often feel I'm just barely balancing all the parts of my life. I don't feel stellar at any of them, but good enough, and I'm definitely doing the best I can. Every then and again, I have that old urge to pull out all stops and get the adrenaline going to have an Uber-productive week. I always was productive - but then I crashed horribly and wanted alcohol the whole time to numb the pain. Trying to avoid adrenaline imbalances these days. So I'll keep trying the "sleep when you need it" approach.

Hope everyone has a good night.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi,

Wags, when I see who you are today, it is so hard for me to reconcile it with the person you describe in your post. It is truly amazing how quitting alcohol can help us become the people we want to be and should be.

I was concerned about withdrawal also, especially because Amy Winehouse died from quitting too soon. My grandfather got the DTs so bad they thought he would die. I would see a doctor, FnF - that is a lot to taper from.

Kensho - when my kids were younger my mantra was C+. I was a C+ at my job, a C+ parent, and a C+ spouse. It truly is hard to juggle it all. I can't imagine how I did it with a drink in my hand, but I did. You'll get through this!

G - sounding so great. It will be soon that we'll have a year celebration for you. Keep on keeping on.

Pauly - we're with you! There are several stubborn sober people here - Byrdie and Ava among them. Something will click for you. Right now you sound great. Keep it up!

I had a weekend FULL with houseguests, visiting cousins, etc. I need another two days to clean my house and sleep, but i'm off to work.

x
Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning. I'm feeling a little blah and a little anxious. Not sure what this is. PAV has mentioned that "what now" feeling, and I have it. Part of it is feeling little unsettled in general. Kids are back to school tomorrow/Wednesday. And I'm knee deep in this project with my design partner and friend for 20 years. It's been good and interesting to work so closely with her after we both developed our businesses for a decade and a half. But I still feel bad on a daily basis about not putting in the hours she does. She doesn't have kids, so that would only make sense. I feel like it's getting harder and harder to keep up with the workload I had previously nailed.

SO, I'm going to take a deep breath and say nice things to myself. One thing I've learned for sure is that feelings never last. Sometimes waiting the uncomfortable ones out is the only way to get through them.

LAV, glad your grandson is getting a little easier. You certainly play a big role in their lives now with how much you see them - awesome that you can model abstinence! That is HUGE!

Have a good day everyone.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - thanks, I feel like a completely different person too! Well, more accurately, when I was drinking I was a different person - an unhappy one trying desperately to find something in the bottom of a glass or bottle. Now, I feel like myself again. Quitting drinking has done nothing but liberate me!

Kensho - sounds like you're getting better and better with balancing all of the things in your life, and the rest (what feels short or missing right now) will come. The blahs are hard though, so please hold tight to your quit!

Jvo - sorry about your grandpa - he sounds like a wonderful man and I'm sure you miss him a lot.

Byrdie - hahaha about the teeth!


Well, it's Monday again... I had a really full work day yesterday but today is pretty light. I kind of like it that way - basically having my weekend or days off during the week when most people are at work or school. Today will be just one class session and hopefully a bike ride, plus household chores. Meh to that part, but they've gotta be done.

Have great days everyone!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning,

Yes, Lav, the bad dreams are reinforcing my resolve to quit. ItÂ’s another important tool and IÂ’ll remember and use it to keep me away from al for sure.

Pav, this may sound backwards, but I’m shooting for a C+ when I go back to work. I’ve always had to be the best, have the best standardized scores, the one who could handle all of the behaviors in the classroom and teach at all different levels. Differentiate they say! Ok! I’ll make up five different lesson plans for each lesson! It seems as though every kid has an IEP or 504 in our district. You must know what’s in each of those documents, because when I do my 10 walkthroughs a week, I want to see each child is being accommodated as they should! Ok! I’ll study them! There mare only so many front row seats available...so I’m taking a different approach in that I’m going in as “I’ll do what I can and let a lot of it go.” I’ll take the reprimands. It probably will never happen, but I need to readjust my attitude so that I don’t have that fear of failing, even tho I never did fail at work. Perfectionism. That’s something I don’t want anymore. I’m not shooting for that.

Kensho, right on. Feelings donÂ’t last. Let them pass. ItÂ’s uncomfortable while they are here, but we know to distract with other things until they pass. Stay strong.

I found more YouTube videos last night. A sober community called “sober grid.” They put out videos daily on addiction, alcohol, and success stories. Never can have enough of that. We are lucky to live in this internet age where so much is available to us.

Have a great day.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Wags, you sound great this morning!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Pauly that is very sad about your coworker drinking, at that age i want to be out walking and enjoying life not drinking myself to death but addiction is a very powerful force. My daughters have a mutal friend who is 35 and is drinking and taking drugs, she is the loveliest girl and my eldest is getting so frustrated with her not listening and she is not that bad (friends words), i told her she has to walk away and just be her friend, she cant help someone who doesnt want help yet. she is so afraid they will find her dead from taking xanax or valium or ketamine and al. I have offered my help but until she reaches her bottom we can only watch. As they say, its the people around the addict that feel the pain. Your sober time Pauly is getting longer and longer and its so lovely to see you free and not beating yourself up when you drink. Keep doing what you are doing, we love you for you.

J, when i met my cousin we had so many stories about our nan and grandad, they were the best, always spoilt us in their own way and made us feel special. I hold those memories close. I think your subconscious is coming to the fore for you Jvo, reinforcing why drinking is not for you. You are doing so very well. (loving that funny A!)

day 2 of holidays and carpets cleaned, walls washed in one room, went back to the gym, new innersoles for my walking shoes and quality time with my daughter yesterday. Now i need some sunshine to get some washing dry. still waking at 5am so i am working on that one but i just appreciate waking up sober.

G, i will wait patiently for a date/time. this will kill me ha ha.

time for another cuppa, carl snuggled next to me.

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Calm day today before a huge storm due here tomorrow. Already getting flood warnings, geez!

Ken, it’s been a privilege having my grandsons grow up near by. I’m happy to lend a hand when needed It’s especially nice when the boys are not beating up on each other, haha!

Pav, I had that C+ mentality too when I was raising my kids, working shift work, dealing with my husband’s shift work & taking care of aging & sick relatives on top of it all. One person = one pair of hands!!!

Wags, I love the liberation too. Why would we ever give that up???

Jvo, years ago I had a neighbor who was an elementary school teacher in a big city. Every fall she would suffer severe stomach pain, to the point of looking ghastly. It turned out she realized that it was the start of the new school year that just put her over the edge. I know she wasn’t a drinker but I swear she had a chronic ulcer. Always felt sorry for her. I hope you can ease into your school year without too much grief.

Ava, hope you got some sunshine today

Hello to the rest of the crowd & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava, life is good with our furries by our side! I think I’ll take off Labor Day week, since you are making me jealous with your vacation . My new half brother has invited us to his place at Myrtle Beach so I think we’re going to take him up on it. There was a time when I wouldn’t consider that, it would be hard to drink. I am so glad that I’m not at AL’s mercy now. It was as if I was living life in a defensive crouch.
Kensho, your work schedule sounds grueling. I hope that you are able to strike a happy work/life balance. I’m searching for that one myself.
Jvo, those documentaries are so helpful, I think. Those on this site, Rain in my Heart, hit home with me early on. I could see myself in those people, and some of them didn’t make it. Abusing AL, unfortunately, has a predictable ending, in spite of my trying to bargain with it. I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself, even my liver ratted me out. We all have a lot riding on our quits, so stay strong, you will never regret it.

Hugs to all, Byrdie