Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Si Byrdy. Abusing AL has a predictable ending. The only way out of an early grave is to change. Change often will involve getting uncomfortable. So what?! We often also need to consider our perspective. What is my outlook? Where do i see booze in my life? Am i being real and my vision truthful? Am i 'that bad'? We must really step outside ourselves, have a good look and do an inventory. It might seem scary, but i prefer the term 'exciting'! Nothing changes if nothing changes eh?

Big waves to all. Do something u love today. day 336. Must be 11 months! 29 days to go.........L8tr g8trs.

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning,

G, I definitely want change, and no matter how good my intentions were while I drink, it never, ever happens. Step outside yourself and do inventory. Yes, and we will see that we are that bad, that we are letting life just pass us by, like we are unworthy of this place, this life.

Ava, yes, grandparents are so special! Lav, you are blessed with grandchildren and my sister is, too. They are the most precious sweeties. I hope someday to be able to do some super spoiling. Not now...! I certainly would miss out on that if I continued to drink. I’d never live that long.

Byrdie, I’ve seen rain in my heart. I could watch again. So very sad, and I was headed towards that. Well, I certainly have been living like I don’t matter, like my health and my life and my mental health don’t matter. I do matter. We all do.

Have an good day.

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, J-VO I haven't watched those rain in my heart videos in years but I should go back and watch again,I do see myself in those people too and sometimes the people on "Intervention" hit close to home,well the alkies anyway I can relate to them and that desperation for the next drink,I can't really relate to the ones addicted to heroin and stuff cuz I'd never try that shit but when I'm watching those I yell out "oh come on just stop!" On my high horse like a big ole hypocrite cuz really the substance is different but the mindset is the same,also with me and Ava's show "600 lb life" there's is a food addiction but it all boils down to a huge mind game, someone on my fitness website recommended Craig Beck? They have some of his videos posted but I haven't clicked on them yet,I'd never heard of him before but he has great advice I hear,not much going on here trying to decide if I like these jeans for work or not haha,waves to all and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo - Thank you for being a teacher. You are in the US, right? Sometimes it makes me so angry how under-appreciated teachers are in our society, given that it is such an important (and hard!) job. My mom was a teacher so I grew up watching how hard she worked and how much of her own time and money went into her classroom, kids, etc. My wife is coming up on her second year of retirement from a 33 year teaching career. She was just saying the other day that this is the time of year her stomach would start to hurt and even after 30+ years of really excelling in the field, she always felt a sense of queasiness and dread after every break (even shorties like spring break). Aiming for a C+ sounds like a very healthy target. You'll be above average but hopefully still sane and still with time to have a little bit of a life. You have to take care of YOU first and foremost, or there won't be a you to do this job or anything else you've got on your plate.

G - "Change often will involve getting uncomfortable." Yep, that about hits the nail on the head. What makes quitting hard for many people is that discomfort is one of the things they're drinking to avoid, escape, minimize, etc. The good news is that without al we can and do actually learn other techniques for managing discomfort - not avoiding it, but first just staying afloat and then eventually surfing it.


Early morning for me - I've got a 7am class and a bit more prep to do so I'll send hellos and waves for now and catch you all on the flip side.


PS - random odd non-drinking thought: I got my hair cut this past weekend. I've had short hair much of my life, but had gotten lazy about not wanting to get it cut regularly (hmmmm.... started when I resumed drinking back in 2014). Anyway, after almost 5 years of growing it out and mostly wearing it long, I got sick of all that hair so finally scheduled an appt to go pretty darn short again. It feels good to know I'm in a healthy enough state to get myself to the stylist every 4-6 weeks for trims, but even BETTER to know that now for sure there isn't a hair on my head that has ever been impacted by al entering my body. Perhaps I'd grown it out and had it trimmed enough for that to already be true, but since this was such a big cut I'm 100% positive and it feels positively symbolic.

So yay! :yay:

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Wags, I love that. I wonder when I cut my last alcohol-laden hair??

J-Vo - I get it. Perfectionism is paralyzing and also can take away the joy of life. As a former teacher, I know that teachers have it rough, and I know that Chicago/Illinois (right?) teachers have it piled on. Take care of yourself, and don't aim for perfection. I love having people over, but tend not to because my apartment is so small and not exactly pristine. BUT when I actually do have people over I am so happy. I need to let go of that perfectionism. It manifests in other ways, too, and I think we've talked about that here before.

Pauly - hah. Hope the jeans worked...

Rock on, Mr. G.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, funny about the hair. I always had my hair short, but when I got sober, I let it grow long. Now when I look back photos, I can tell if I was sober or not by the length of my hair. I do t know why I let it grow out....changes in attitude?

My problem is that I’m aiming for an A+ but only hitting C+. Oy.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Soggy here in Lav-land but we seem to have dodged the severe weather bullet again, yay!

Reading your posts about feeling uncomfortable’ at times reminded me of something someone said way back when I first arrived here. They said ‘uncomfortable’ won’t kill you. Simple phrase but it really helped me take my final leap into AF’ness & that’s stuck with me 10+ years

G, the countdown is officially on

Jvo, I do feel blessed with my 3 little ones & would be a complete idiot to screw that up now, right?
When it’s time for yuo to wear the grandma hat you’ll be all fresh & ready

Pauly, so how did it go with the jeans? Ha ha! I haven’t had jeans on since early May I guess, too hot here this summer.

Wags, I’m a short hair person too & getting out for frequent trims is easy now. No plotting or planning required, LOL

Pav, Byrdie & everyone, I hope your day was good.
I am signing up for a craft fair Oct. 5 & it’s only 5 miles down the road. Just have to decide what to take & get it done.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, soggy here, too.

Pauly, I’ve watched so many interventions but when they show at the end of how they are doing presently, so many don’t make it and I got frustrated with it. But as they say, and I’m proof, sometimes it takes several fails before it sticks. Also, there are so many approaches to sobriety and maybe it’s that we have to find what works for us and that takes time... or maybe it’s like the small things that are really big like Lav said, “uncomfortable won’t kill me.” You made me laugh tho...”come on! Just stop, will ya!”

Wags, me, too! Had a hair cut on Friday and just so happy about it. Feels good.

Re: Lav’s friend and Wag, your wifeÂ’s ailments around the start of the school year...yes. Me, too. I never had physical symptoms. Jeez, had enough symptoms from drinking! But the high anxiety anticipating whatÂ’s coming. ThatÂ’s just a waste of my time right now. Now that IÂ’m just going back to my job, pressure is off...at least right now. Remind me of that once IÂ’m back, please! A few of my close coworkers retired in June. IÂ’ll be texting them at 8 a.m. on the 26th if I can find a middle finger image! Wags, good for your wife. Is she lovinÂ’ her retirement? What a stupid question that was, like youÂ’d answer “jvo, she hates sleeping in, she hates being able to pee when she needs to go, damn I really wanted to administer those state tests just once more!”:sad:

Pav, Pittsburgh. The place where the sun never shines! We are #1 in the country with the most rain. Seattle in second. Yea, thatÂ’s kind of depressing to write. Maybe IÂ’ll shoot for a B- but nothing more. Yes, let that sh** go!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,the jeans were annoying, they're those slim but,pre-holed kind that sit low waisted and I can't tolerate having to pull up my pants everytime I move so into the Goodwill bag they'll go haha,J-vo I hafta have my sunshine that's one of the perks of Vegas it's usually a sunny day a good 360 days of the year interesting on the hair,I'm with Byrdie and usually had shorter hair when I was heavy drinking and it was ugly on me, another thing I noticed lately is that drinking makes my hair dry and seems to fall out! Now tell me drinking doesn't effect everything in the body,ugh,Mr.G you're getting close to a year yay getting comfortable with being uncomfortable was in my signature awhile ago but then I figured why should not drinking be uncomfortable? It's more uncomfortable to be drinking and throwing up,passing out,missing work, paranoid of cops behind me,etc! Disgusting waves to all and wishes for a wonderful AF day for us all!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Pauly, we were in Vegas last month. Loved it. We were at a restaurant and the waitress was complaining about the humidity because it was at 30 percent! I had to giggle to myself.

I’ve noticed I don’t require as much sleep. I’m staying up later and getting up earlier. That doesn’t mean I won’t take a nap later!

I’ve just reread relapse in retrospect. Very inspiring posts. Took me awhile, as I read, stop and think, let it sink in...I will keep my sobriety in the forefront of my mind, make it priority, and never take it for granted. Complacency, putting other things before my “program,” drifting away from here, ain’t gonna happen. Nope. It can happen as quickly as a flash of lightening, or it can happen very slowly, subconsciously, at a rate you don’t even notice. The stinkin’ Thinking, I’ll be aware of. Pity parties will do me no good. I’m so grateful to be here.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, all:

Surprise, surprise, I'm going to recommend a podcast (I'm addicted to listening when I do the dishes...) Addiction, Depression and a Meaningful Life from the podcast Making Sense with Sam Harris. It is LONG and there are some things they said that irritated me, but I recommend listening as a thought exercise. His guest on the show is Johann Hari who had the TED talk about addiction and belonging which I also recommend.

Pauly - Oh, those low waisted jeans. My muffin top makes pulling them up often even MORE essential. Good Will it is.

Lav - how cool that you have multiple crafts to pick from?

Byrdie - that's what I meant. I actually COULDN'T "have it all," so I was trying but not succeeding. Now I realize that A+ is a myth...

I'm tired heading to work this morning. I have no idea how in the world I sustained all this while drinking. I guess the answer is that I didn't. I am much better mom, wife and worker now - all that work is paying off.

Happy SOBER Hump Day.
Pav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning.

Pauly, we were in Vegas last month. Loved it. We were at a restaurant and the waitress was complaining about the humidity because it was at 30 percent! I had to giggle to myself.

I’ve noticed I don’t require as much sleep. I’m staying up later and getting up earlier. That doesn’t mean I won’t take a nap later!

I’ve just reread relapse in retrospect. Very inspiring posts. Took me awhile, as I read, stop and think, let it sink in...I will keep my sobriety in the forefront of my mind, make it priority, and never take it for granted. Complacency, putting other things before my “program,” drifting away from here, ain’t gonna happen. Nope. It can happen as quickly as a flash of lightening, or it can happen very slowly, subconsciously, at a rate you don’t even notice. The stinkin’ Thinking, I’ll be aware of. Pity parties will do me no good. I’m so grateful to be here.

Girl you better not leave here again or we'll all hunt you down!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I will keep my sobriety in the forefront of my mind, make it priority, and never take it for granted.

Hi Jvo and evabody.

I have come to see that keeping my sobriety in the front of my mind is essential. Especially in the early weeks/months. My sobriety is my foundation. It is from here that everything else flows. Dreams, relationships, work, career, health, happiness, love, peace. Having a daily program i can handle is important to me. Some sort of daily self care routine keeps me focused and my eye on the prize. The prize is a happy and content G man! From here, most others i have contact with git a dose of happiness and contentment too, at least for a moment.

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=20191]Pavati[/MENTION] - I just downloaded a podcast player yesterday. I haven't even had a chance to play with it yet. So, thanks for the recommendations! That will get me started.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hump day greetings Nesters

Had rain for the first half of the day. Then the sun came out & now we’re getting severe weather warnings until 8:30 tonight, haha! This weather is damn crazy.

I walked thru a store this morning & briefly glanced at the jeans. They were all skinny, mid-rise with holes in them - no fanks, LOL
When you get as old as I am ‘style & fashion’ just don’t cut it, haha!

Glad to read everyone’s plans to keep working in the self care department. That’s how we get this job done, for sure.
Guess I should go chase my feathered friends inside before this supposed storm blows up.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav