Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Jvo - the situation at your school (or in your district it sounds like if these decisions are coming partly from the superintendent) sounds horrible and bureaucratic. Like they had some other isolated issues they were too chicken to address and so they went at it with broad sweeping rules. Kind of like when there's that one kid who acts up in class but the whole class gets punished - kids instinctively and immediately know that isn't fair. Well, the most important thing is that you didn't drink and it sounds like you had multiple triggers. Hugs to you.

Byrdie - stay safe and keep us posted as you can.

Pav - hope you're having a great long weekend despite no plans. Sounds like the unexpected BBQ turned out well.


It's Labor Day weekend here and in Wag-land that mostly means Laboring! I had a long day of tutoring sessions yesterday and several more hours this afternoon. This morning off should give time for a bike ride. The next three weeks will probably be pretty heavily scheduled. There's a big test date coming up then and I've got several students for that date or the one immediately after in Oct. The lull of summer has ended and it's time to pay some bills! I'll check in as I can but probably won't be here every day for the next few weeks. Just know I'm sending you all support and I'm Not Drinking.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

We are finishing our hurricane prep now. It is a lot of work! We will see if there is a mandatory evacuation. We will most likely leave tomorrow and head downtown. Hopefully, that thing will move more eastward. There are a lot of people in this same boat, all on edge. It looks like by the time it gets up here, it will be down to a category 2, so at least that.
So glad I’m not trying to hide an addiction during all this. I’ll keep you posted! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good news that the storm is weakening Byrdie,I hope it's just a bit of rain and wind,Pav, we'll go to our usual spots in Cali Malibu then drive to Newport Beach one of the days,like I said I'm just excited to get outta here! Work has been a zoo and tbh I'm ready for the owner to close it or sell it so I can move on,I've been there 16 years and I've seen the area change and get scarier, creepy people drinking in the parking lot all day,druggies,hookers,you name it,I'm just tired and I think the owner is too he's like 76 or something now and I know he doesn't like to hear our gripes he just wants his booth rent,I could move on but I know as long as it's there I'll go back cuz I've been in a huff before and quit and begged to come back- dumb oh well,waves to the gang and have a great day!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi crew.

Byrdy, thinking of you and all up there.

6.20 a.m. tuesday here. All is quiet. Work today then a few days off. Big waves to all.

Take care evabody. X

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags,
It is a lot of the superintendent that is not a very nice person at all, to put it nicely. It’s also my principal who is the micromanager. Yes, if one person does something wrong, they don’t get told but everyone suffers. That’s how they roll which is quite frustrating and sad. Lack of good leadership, and the people in leadership have no respect for others working for them. They lie a lot, too. I remember when I first started, I had so much respect for the ones up above.

So close, G! Not many days until that one year is here. Great work.

Pauly, hope your vacation is beautiful. I love the beach. So wish I lived near it. It’s so healing.

Quiet here. Had MIL for dinner, son stopped home and will stay the night. It’s nice he lives close to where he goes to school.

Did more reading today on triggers, relapse, patience in sobriety. Just random sites. Good stuff to keep reminding myself of.

Have a great night.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Nar you can come and work for me and i promise i wont call you a brain dead moron like half the people i work with! sometimes i wish i had more tolerance ha ha.

J, i think people earn respect by their actions. We have a new "director of brain" and i wish he had one. nearly 3 months ago i asked for a job description and still waiting. its people like that i have no respect for, i am not one of his important people but thats fine as when he asks me to do something, he is not one of my important people. Im still learning to switch off the crap of work but i am lucky i start so early and can walk out and enjoy the day. Remember no one is worth drinking at and it does get easier.

I had 160 emails to follow up and am now down to 130 so im pretty impressed with myself. no pressure from within to get it done in a day or a week or a month really.

My first day going back to work yesterday and the car had a flat battery, it was a toss up whether to go back to bed or go to work, work won as i had to put in my leave form!

Wags, i was a bit shocked when you mentioned October, this year has flown by yet again.

Byrd, i hope you are safe from the cyclone.

time for a coffee and a stretch.

take care

ps: not long now G, i sent you an email and STeady. xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everyone has a good Labor Day or just a Monday wherever you are
We went to see our granddaughter & her family, had a nice dinner although the cookout plans got changed to cook in because of rain. Had a great time anyway. My granddaughter starts 3rd grade tomorrow, time flies.

Narilly, I hope this week is better for you. We all think you are just perfect!!!!

Ava, starting your work day early & leaving early sounds like a great plan!

Hello to Wags, Jvo, Pauly, G & everyone. Byrdie, I’m keep an eye on the weather channel, stay safe friend.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

J-vo there's alot of good articles out there to read,glad you're keeping up on it Byrdie,hope you're staying safe,not much going on here so just saying a quick hi

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

I couldn't get on the site and then at the last minuted decided to drive down and help my son move into his sophomore year apartment at college. It is pretty much a dump, but clean enough, and he's so excited to be living on "his own" (with us paying rent). It was a fun trip.

J-Vo - I don't know how to describe this, but going to music wasn't really hard for me because I had actually accepted that I wasn't going to drink any more. I had no push/pull to drink because I know there was no possible way I was going to. There were sometimes (a lot of times) when I felt sorry for myself, or left parties early because I was irritated with not being able to, but there was never a time when I "almost" drank. I don't mean that to sound smug, I just mean to say that there was some stubborn streak in me - once I had told my husband, my friend, and my therapist the actual truth about my drinking, I knew there was no way to go back and have the life I have. Something clicked in me that last time I drank, and there was NO going back. It was complete and total acceptance. My triggers were life. Happy, sad, stressed, excited, celebratory, cooking, boredom, party, being alone - all things involved drinking in my life. Accepting that I couldn't changed the conversation in my head from "should I drink or not," to "what should I do instead of drinking to get through this." Not having that battle all of the time is everything.

Hi, everyone else. Gotta run to work.

Happy SOBER Tuesday!

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick fly by to wish everyone a fantastic sober day and evening!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

PAV your recent post was great - thanks for that description of your “moment” when you knew there was no going back. Acceptance is the absolute key.

G, thank for the reminder to laugh. It is clinically shown to improve health and happiness

JVO, good job dealing with all of your triggers. Sometimes they seem to hit all at once, and that’s especially hard at the beginning. Each time you say no, you’re rewiring! It actually helped me to imagine the electrical pulses going another route in my brain. Feels like progress every time I do it.

LC, we camped about 2 hours away. The forest was so healthy, and we had a stretch of river all of our own. The smoke wasn’t too bad either, so a big win for the Kensho clan. 3 nights is optimal for unwinding in the woods. The smell of pine on the breeze makes me happy! Glad you got to work on your house - changing the energy in your living space can do wonders!!

I found some old writing that I had printed out in our camping stuff - some post from a few years back in the toolbox. About how alcohol impacts our neurochemistry and creates addiction. A good reminder about just how much amazing information is in the toolbox that I seem to forget to revisit!

Back to work - going to schedule with PT for neck and keep up my stretches and exercises. I’m tired of pain.

Hello to everyone else, and sending good wishes and support! It’s worth it to not be addicted!!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Just flying by to say hi and see how everyone is doing. I'm at the beginning of a very stressful almost 3 weeks.. I had some mild panic attacks during the night and then calmed myself by just focussing on the moment and what I should be doing then.. which was sleeping at 3:30 am. I have to do some things for work that push me to the limits of my fear (public speaking and being filmed) and I think the best thing I can do is continue with my research and planning, while staying planted in my daily life.. not thinking too much about the actual events. Anyway, I'll surely sleep well tonight!

""My triggers were life. Happy, sad, stressed, excited, celebratory, cooking, boredom, party, being alone - all things involved drinking in my life. Accepting that I couldn't changed the conversation in my head from "should I drink or not," to "what should I do instead of drinking to get through this."" Loved this Pav! I copied and sent the whole paragraph to myself..

Kensho, that sounds like such a nice break.. almost nothing I like more than smelling pine on the breeze.. heaven.

Big hugs to everyone in this lovely Nest..
Byrdie, how are you doing?

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey all, well, LC, to be honest, I’m as stressed out as I can be. A mandatory evacuation was issued a couple hours ago so we will get our stuff together and head downtown in the morning. A customer of mine emailed (getting my out of office that I’m on vacation) and wants a call this afternoon for some reason. Her email said they were in full hurricane mode, she knows I’m near Wilmington and knows we are preparing, yet she wants a call? That can’t be good news. Ugg.
Pav, that was a great post. If you give yourself a choice, there will be a battle. Like you, I knew I had to find another way....It was non negotiable. Thank you for stating that so eloquently.
I’ll keep you posted. Byrdie

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Ava, I donÂ’t think I was successful turning off work in my brain because IÂ’m filling it with angry thoughts about my boss. I need to stop myself from doing that. I really only hurt myself by thinking this way. It was easier to be controlled when I was younger, but now that IÂ’m older than all of my bosses, I donÂ’t have the tolerance for a lot. Silly, I know. I need to get over myself and my ego.

Pav, that was amazing and I need to copy and paste that as well. ItÂ’s all about acceptance and perspective as you and all of you have said before. Once you accept, then you can change the way you are approaching sobriety. What can I do instead... IÂ’m glad you said you did have some pity parties, because IÂ’ve been having those. I can accept, because I know if I drink, I will die. I donÂ’t want to die and I need to be here. I believe I have a purpose here on this earth, and it isnÂ’t to do what IÂ’ve done for so long, which is waste away. I certainly donÂ’t have those pity parties on Saturday and Sunday mornings when I felt my worst. IÂ’m having a party, just proud of feeling great on those mornings. And the mornings this past week and this morning, feeling good. ItÂ’s really amazing and so worth any pity party that may last for a little while. Yes, i may feel bad, and I need to work on that, too.

Byrdie, thinking of you.

LC, youÂ’re not alone with the fear of public speaking. ThatÂ’s one of the most popular fears people have. Take deep breaths, practice your presentation in front of a mirror, and youÂ’ll shine.

Ken, the camping sounds so nice. My husband and I went to a state park on Saturday and lots of campers were there. It was a beautiful park, and I can imagine sleeping under the stars and loving that. IÂ’ve never done it, but damn, I think I want to now! IÂ’ve been reading through the toolbox as well. I started from the very last page and am reading backwards.

Have a good night and quit thinking about work and bosses! :hug:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters.

Byrdy, thinking of you and your family. i hope things go smoothly as possible and those winds fizzle out real soon. You are doing an amazing job staying sane amid all of that. Your family and friends are lucky to have you, as are we!

LC, public speaking on film? Like a movie star? Wowza! Grab it by the horns and have some fun with it mi amiga. A bit scary sure, but is it even just a little exciting? Your inner growth through this will be incredible. One word when i think of you......Raaaawk Star!

Next tuesday the 10th is my one year anni. Holy hampsters on hashish!

Yes friend Kensho, our toolbox is an amazing place. Always worth a regular visit. For me learning something and gittin it through my thick head is best done by repitition. Repeating and re reading the info regularly.

Big hello's and waves to all.

xpost. Yo Jvo! S'up fam. Sleep under the stars next weekend mi amiga! Or sooner.