Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16180]BelleGirl[/MENTION], it sounds like your yesterday was like the one [MENTION=21745]jvo[/MENTION] had the day before. And thankfully, her next day was better. Hope that’s true for you today. The one constant we can count on is that things, and how we feel, will change!

The good news is that at some point, days like the days you two had won’t seem like reasons to drink. I’ve had some doozies in the last year or so and having a drink didn’t even cross my mind other than to sometimes think thank goodness I’m not making this situation worse with all of that drinking business!

After a a bad day now, I like to be alone (my husband can be there if he doesn’t talk :wink, knitting. The repetitive motions and the feel of the developing fabric is very calming - much more so than too many glasses of wine. And eventually I have something warm and cozy to wear or give away. Drinking gave me nothing for myself or anyone else.

Have a good weekend, Nesters!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - sounds like a rough day! Fortunately, as Jvo exemplified and NS mentioned, bad days end and next days are typically better. Here's hoping that's the case for you, and I hope your car issues resolves in whatever manner you would prefer.

Jvo - glad to hear

Kensho - have a fantastic mud run! Can't wait to hear how it went.

Byrdie - glad you're safe


Hellos and waves to Lav, Pav, Nar, Ava, G, Nursie, Nora, LC, Steady, and everyone else stopping by the nest today. Happy weekends to you all!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
I made it through the hellish day one yesterday without letting mr AL talk me into drinking. I came back to the nest to read multiple times and finally went out for a long walk in the dark, my favorite time to walk. I'm hoping for a better day today. Daughter started taking meds today for her anxiety. Hoping for no side effect drama, but anything is possible. Haven't heard about car yet, but I think it is time to start shopping for a new one.

J-vo...lets do this. We made it through rotten days that really tested our quit. as someone said that each time we deny the beast our brain gets rewired.

Hello to all, wherever you are!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Well that was a week for the books! Dorian came in as a category 2 but the eye didn’t make landfall so we had 75mph gusts but thankfully, little rain and we had no damage. We were very lucky and I appreciate the thoughts and prayers you provided.

Jvo, you may not have a direct colleague to commiserate with but, girl, I can feel exactly what you are experiencing. Powerless, unsupported, frustrated and helpless. I was sure hoping that getting a new manager was going to help us, but to our utter amazement, things have gotten worse. I am getting through it like I did my quit, one day at a time. I am trying to be grateful that I have employment and reasonably good health. I have so much to be grateful for. This, too, shall pass, as my mother used to say. I know that I am choosing to stay so I need to try and conform to their rules. In spite of preparing for, and riding out, a hurricane, I enjoyed my time off last week and dread Monday. All we can do is our best.
Nursie, settle in, glad you are back and ready to get this monkey off your back once and for all.
May I say that not one time during the stress of this past week, did I wish I could drink. That, friends, is HUGE.
Stay the course, you will NEVER be sorry! Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Belle, sounds like a crap day. Maybe find some gratitude in the fact that the mosquito was in your tea and not sucking your blood??

J-Vo - one question. How strong is your union? Can you get fired? In our case here, it is VERY hard to fire a teacher. So I'm wondering if you can ignore some of what they're saying. What would happen if they came into your classroom and the kids were doing something not on their checklist on occasion? They might "talk to you," but can you say "so what?" It could be different in PA, but I'm wondering if that is a course you can take?

I'm so sorry for those of you who are stuck in miserable jobs. I wish you peace and the courage to change jobs if it is appropriate and possible. Jobs are a big part of our lives. The other option is to ignore it as much as possible and do the most you can do AFTER work.

Nursie - hope all is well. What's going on?

Byrdie - Glad you're safe and dry. What a way to spend your vacation.

Steady - at least he quit the smokes. One step at a time... (Hi, Nora!)

Happy SOBER Saturday. I can't wait to hear about the meet up between Steady, Ava and G. I'm JEALOUS!

Pav

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening,

Thank you all for your thoughts. My job is a job and I have to remember that and be grateful, as people struggle with paying their bills and I can’t and shouldn’t complain. We do have a union, and there’s only so much our union can do or say. It’s just another business and we have to listen to management, our administration regardless of whether we agree.

It would be far-fetched if I would get fired. I know so many teachers who don’t do as much as I do, but they’re still wonderful and hardworking people. I’m just a perfectionist and I take everything to a level I shouldn’t as it really messes with my head.

The thing I hate most is the disrespect and putting rules on everything. It’s like being a child and your parents giving you a curfew, my friends have these jobs where they travel, go to lunch, maybe their lunch is getting a pedicure, and I guess I feel like I go through the day holding my breath. Like I go through life holding my breath until I explode. Not a good way to live. I’ve been practicing the meditation, so I’ll just keep on it.

Yes, am burned out and have had enough of this job. Just can’t do anything at this point in my life.

Have a good night.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola nesters,

Day 362. Looks like Wednesday the 11th (not tuesday) is my year anni.

Jvo, do you take a quality 'me time' lunch break? Morning tea? afternoon tea break? Many people i have worked with don't, or eat at their desk with phones ringing and work chat around them. That's no break. When i was driving a truck around town (high pressure unrealistic schedule set by unknowledgable managers) i learnt what a difference a self imposed 30 min total break had on my stress levels. We hit back and took our breaks and refused to play managements game of a ridiculous impossible schedule. So our scheduled jobs were cut back because we would now only do what was safe and sensible as a days work. Maybe u take your break and i hope it's a quality break with total YOU time, but my point is i felt so much better when i changed my stressful feeling helpless approach to one of a non reactive stressed response, and just did what i could on the day without rushing or worrying. I could not control their rules, but i took control of my response to their rules. We did have the transport union behind us and also work health and safety laws which were a media focus at the time. Easy for me to say maybe as i know our situ's are a little different.

This brings me to the subject of control. Warning - cliched post ahead!

Trying to control what others do or think. I have zero control over what others will think or do. I can only control what i think and do. I try to respond, instead of react. by that i mean i consider how i will react to a situation/decision first before jumping in and acting on my thoughts and feelings. I'm starting to understand the fact i can't control the future, or life events and people. I've heard the idea of - 'handing it over to the universe' or God, Buddha, The Pasta rasta, whoever. This strategy is really helping me at the moment. I am in the midst of a huge life changing situation. It could easily be overwhelming, and it is a little. But i am getting comfort in letting it go. Letting any thoughts, desires of trying to control the outcome in a way that seems perfect for me. What do i know? So i am simply doing my best with what i have and leaving the rest, the outcome to the universe. That strategy is helping me chill more about the possible outcomes. Sorry for the big waffle.

Gitting some inspiration on instagram here today. Not on it a lot , but there are some cool sober blogs.

Glad you're ok there Byrdy.

It would absolutely do my head in if i was in a job with people who are making things difficult unneccessarily and without reason. I would def have to find a way to let go and somehow find a peaceful groove within and a way to go about my day.

Jvo, like Byrdy you are doing an incredible job under ridiculous circumstances!

Belle, huge congratulations on day 1 under your belt! Amazing work with family concerns tugging at your emotions.

Nursie how are you?

LC? You around?

Steady, glad hubs is still off the fags. Life preserving move!

Wags - Raawkin!

Maybe we can skype you or something on the day Pav! You're part of the party anyway.

Big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Pretty nice day here, not hot & that is much appreciated after this awful summer.
Little by little I am catching up on my neglected gardens. It was just too hot to deal with them.

Jvo, your description of your job restrictions made me think of mine, it was seriously restrictive too. I used to be jealous of my friends who worked in offices & could take those long lunch breaks, go shopping & all that. When you work in a hospital like I did we had no freedoms. Hell, we didn’t even get a lunch break most days ( or time to go to the bathroom ). I did retire a little earlier than I had planned but everything worked out. Hang in there, you know you have us to lean on when needed.

G, I am very excited for your upcoming anniversary. I’m sure Byrdie will make a cake in her spare time.
Byrdie, so glad the weather has moved on & didn’t cause any damage except some frayed nerves

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION], did you ever watch a Netflix series called “Nurse Jackie”? It was actually about addiction, and a nurse getting addicted. But in it, they show Nurse Jackie routinely leaving the ward AND the building, and going out for lunch to a restaurant with her doctor friend! Obviously, none of the producers of the show had actually ever worked as a nurse!

[jvo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning,

SLO, I watched nurse Jackie. Really good show. I love Edie Falco. She is an alcoholic in real life, too. I’ve read that when she was on the sopranos, they were a big partying bunch and she would meet them for a minute and leave as she couldn’t pretend to do that life anymore.

G, I do take quality time at lunch with just me, myself, and I. I sit at my desk, no one in the room, and read my entertainment news. And I guess I haven’t learned how not to react, because I’m still getting myself very upset. Last year and this year, we’ve had major changes to how we instruct, how we do everything. That’s due to change in administration. But after all the years I’ve worked, I’ve never been through this much change. And I guess how this woman comes across to people is not very nice. She really is quite mean. She’s the superintendent. My principal pretends to be nice and lovely, but she is very controlling. She believes she’s smarter than everyone and it’s so transparent that she does this.

Yes, Pav, they did fire a teacher last year but she deserved it. In addition to teaching, she signed up for homeschooling a student and was filling out her time sheet with more hours than she taught. Also in the past she faked getting hurt. No sympathy for her.

Sunday morning here. Have a good day.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - great thoughts about control, and responding instead of reacting. It can take time to learn these skills/approaches but they are well worth it! Can't wait for your celebration, and I'm sure you're also enjoying these last few days of *this* year.

Jvo - sounds like you're started on a path toward coping, and there's a lot to cope with. Sending you hugs and support.

Nursie - how are you doing?

Belle - you wrapped up your day in fine form, and now can move forward from a different place. I hope all works out with the car, your son's situation, your daughter's meds, etc.


Quick hellos from me this morning. I've got 6 hours of tutoring sessions today, which is about as maxed out of a work day as I can manage. I know a 6-hour day doesn't sound very bad, but that's just the actual teaching hours - I've already put in 6-10 hours of prep. The stuff I teach is mentally very difficult material and I am probably almost as exhausted as my students after a few hours of this. I have breaks scheduled between each of today's 4 sessions and I have plans for how I'll use each one to rejuvenate, which really is the key. Otherwise that time gets sucked up with extra prep, or with email, etc. I don't have time for a bike ride today but I'm gonna workout during the first break, walk my pup to the park during the second, and relax in our tiny-but-beautiful backyard with my wife during the third. The yard is all her design - I'm just the laborer and enjoyer

Have great Sunday days and eves everyone!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

G, you took the words right out of my mouth. We can't control what others say and do - only our reaction to them. Also known as the serenity prayer - we here should know that. Plenty of room for action - working to change the things we can, but also making sure we aren't totally frustrating ourselves too try to change the things we can't. Do you remember what it was that flipped a switch for you a year ago? How are you feeling about the anniversary. I remember when I was approaching one year I got a HUGE case of the "why mes." I really felt sad and sorry for myself, and it was hard to focus on the positives. I got through it to where I am, but I was wondering why self pity reared its ugly head at that time. Thankfully I was here and got plenty of support and advice. I hope you're feeling great. You DO have a lot going on. Take good care!

Wags - that's a great idea - to plan those breaks and what you'll do. I can easily squander an hour that I could have been doing something more productive for myself. I'm going to try that...

Slo, that's hilarious. Sometimes school shows depict teacher in the lounge all the time. As if... Another job when you don't get to decide when to pee. Plenty of alcoholism in both teaching and nursing.

I am going to cook and clean on this Sunday, plus a little exercise. Glad to have just that to do today.

Happy SOBER Sunday,
Pav.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Jvo, that's a difficult work environment when your actual team are working against the actual MISSION! I had managers like that a few years ago. It was extremely stressful and i drank to cope. I remember being mostly AF though because i wanted to be on the ball, but i also found that the negative aspects of drinking were in the end making the situ more stressful (for a short term hour or 2 of a comfort/escape zone fix). Luckily i had my union with me in support as i battled these clowns on some issues. I was and am a great worker, but to be honest, booze did affect my performance and they noticed. I got through somehow and they were within their rights to step in, but they got a little sly and nasty in the end fabricating some things. I loved the job so much i wouldn't go lol. The fact it was a health issue and not my work practice probably helped save me. It was hell dealing with workplace stress and picky managers whilst hungover! I can point the finger at their ruthlessness, but it was my boozing (never on the job) and days off that started it, and rightly so. All good now though. I hope you can find a way to manage the changes and personalities. Just remember, you are a quality class act, and know your stuff well. We can't always get people to see and appreciate our work. For me, i'm learning to accept this and be ok with it. I can't control what others do or think. I can only control my outlook though. Hope your week is a better one mi amiga.

Thanks Lav and Wags.

Pav, what was the question again?......oh yeah. I'm feeling pretty good really. No woe is me feelings. I'm fairly much of the mind to grab life by the horns now, as it is gittin shorter. There are things to do, dreams to continue to live out. Families to have! Looking forward to Wednesday. thanks for your post and words. Have a great week.

Off to work this monday morning. Better skidaddle!

Yo Slo! W'dup.

Big waves to all. X

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I ended up with my oldest grandson here all day. He’s a good buddy, very smart, very pleasant. He asks to spend weekends here often for the peace (no little brother) & the constant supply of food, haha!He will be turning 11 in a few months, he’s the reason I finally quit for good when I did. Naturally, I have never regretted my decision

G, hope you have a good Monday at work!

Slo, I Actually never watched Nurse Jackie. I figured it would just annoy me, Lol. Medical shows & cop shows are pretty far from reality, the producers go way overboard I think.

Hello to Pav, hope your day was good.

Wags, sounds like you had a pretty intense day lined up for yourself!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, I’ve been reading but haven’t posted. Work is better. I think my co worker will come around, I will dazzle her, haha

Hey JVo, your work sounds nuts, hang in there. Byrdie and you seem to have wacky bosses.

Hey G, almost 365, oh yeah Baby! You are so close, I am proud of you.

Yeah, nursing and teaching, both jobs with no breaks. I salute anyone in those jobs.
Hi Ava, Pav, NS, Lav, Slo, Wags, Belle, Life, I will post again.

Don’t drink today xo

Ok, I will be back.