Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy friends! I'm fighting a virus after this hard race... so moving a little slower. But that's ok, it goes well with the rain and thunder. Fall is coming, and I am wanting the slow down. Last week was way too much work!

Wags, hope your mega-tutoring day went well. Is that with 6 different people? That's really quite a lot to focus on. Glad you have a great little yard to "peace out" in. My husband does our yard too, and I really love sitting in it, when the mosquitos are't too bad.

Belle, glad you made it through your hell day! I think it's so effective to go for a walk when stressed or overwhelmed or angry. It's moving energy and self-time to process stuff. It is one of my favorite coping mechanisms!

Byrdie, strength to you lady!! Hang in there!!

JVO, I'm so glad you are also not drinking... you are rewiring every day!! Have you considered therapy every regarding perfection things? I really think trying to be perfect can be so ingrained in our psyches that it helps to have help to unlearn it! Of course, you are aware of your tendencies with it, and that is huge! Keep going.... you are doing great!

Feeling ready to go to bed... so that is what I'm going to do! Good night!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Whew! Made it through yesterday intact and my brain still functions this morning. Today's an easier day with just two sessions - I should be done by around noon.


Kensho - hope the mud run went well, and sorry to hear about the virus. Snuggle in, take care of yourself and bounce back soon! For me, a day with 6 hours of tutoring will usually mean anywhere from 4-6 people. I had 4 yesterday, splitting the hours into chunks of 2, 1.5, 1.5 and 1. The two hour sessions are brutal and I'm almost tripping over my own words by the end (as are students) so I don't usually recommend them, but this particular student had to cancel her mid-week hour and didn't want to fall behind. There is a big test date coming up in two weeks and I have several students preparing for that, so we're in the home stretch for them.

Pav - I don't always think to plan how to use my breaks but days like yesterday almost force me to. The strategy worked well - I wasn't nearly as exhausted as I am after some 6-hour days. 5 stars, highly recommend!

Lav - sounds like a wonderful day with your grandson. I think that's about my favorite "kid age" (and one of my favorites to think back on in my own life). I haven't taught kids in maybe 25 years and don't have any of my own, but when I used to work with kids I loved 4th graders - old enough to do cool stuff and have good conversations, but not yet at that age where eye-rolling is almost an olympic sport. I know kids are growing up even faster now (every generation it seems) but hopefully that's still a really great age all the way around.

Nar - good to see you! Glad the co-worker seems to be coming around. You'll get her!


Hellos and waves to G, Byrdie, and everyone else pulling up a twig in the nest today. Happy Mondays to all!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Yes, Wags. Fourth graders are around 9 - such an amazing age. I work with teenagers - I LOVE them as well. Plenty of eye rolls though.

Not much to add since yesterday morning. Got a fair amount of cleaning in, walked the dogs, cooked some good soup. Although the weather is nice, it is feeling a lot more like fall. Mostly because it is dark when I get up now. :sad:

Happy Monday. So happy no residual hangover. Just a clear head (well, getting there half a cup of coffee in).

Pav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

An excerpt from Holly Whitaker's Tempest Newsletter that I love... About the "right time to quit alcohol":

1. Realize there is no perfect time. There’s just not; your life will never stop moving forward and there will always be an elusive right time. Thinking there’s some magical date where a change like this will be easier or more convenient is a trap that keeps us from taking action.

2. Starting doesn’t mean forever. It just means starting. Even if you can’t imagine yourself quitting for good or never drinking again, that doesn’t mean you don’t start taking steps toward it.

3. It doesn’t have to be extreme. I used to build these schedules of how I would nail life; how I would fix myself and become this ideal version of myself. I would spend a Sunday building out a week where I did all the things: going to bed and waking up early, meditating, staying within my budget, abstaining from alcohol and cigarettes, making my lunch, taking my vitamins. I thought that happiness was on the other side of some kind of extreme and fantastic discipline. Sometimes, I’d make it to Tuesday. This was exactly what kept me from making real change, which is done bit by bit and moment by moment, typically one thing at a time. I eventually did become a person who stopped smoking and drinking, who meditated and got her finances in order, but that was only because I started with one thing— alcohol. The rest fell into place (and the idea that I needed to be perfect and disciplined to be happy was eventually disproven).

4. You don’t have to know how the story ends. You do not have to have your mind made up in any direction; you don’t have to think through the next year or five years, imagine what it will mean for your friendships or your Friday nights or your marriage. These things unfold and reveal themselves. You literally only have to think about the thing in front of you.

5. It will feel impossible. One of my favorite quotes by Nelson Mandela: “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” If quitting drinking or even confronting your drinking feels like some kind of ominous unimaginable thing, that’s only because you can’t see it yet. The way you start to see it, the way it starts to become not impossible, is taking steps toward it.

6. It's not impossible. The thing that all people who have quit drinking have in common is that they tried to quit drinking, and they didn’t stop until they did. There are a lot of things complicated about recovery; this part isn’t. It isn’t something only some people can do, it’s something you can do.

7. Holy hell it’s worth it. On the other side of a shitty relationship with alcohol is the thing you want. A problem with booze isn’t a curse, it’s an invitation. The work you do to figure this thing out is the point of all of it; this is the path laid out before you, and it is filled with the things people spend their whole lives looking for.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday evening Nesters,

Warming up again around here for summer 2.0 I think. Oh well, can’t do a thing about that except keep my AC on

Kensho, thanks for posting that piece, really makes a ton of sense to me.
Once I learned to keep my focus on today, the here & now quitting for good became easier. We really don’t need to waste time or energy worrying about the future what ifs!!!

Pav, I loved my kids at all their ages (once I got used to whatever stage they were in at any point). Ha ha!!

Wags, I really like the grandma ‘do-over’ stage I’m in right now. I know what works & what doesn’t. My grandson is actually in 5th grade this year, he’s turning 11 in 2 months. Smart kid too, talking about going to Harvard, LOL

Nar, good to see you! Somehow I always found a way to get along with everyone at work. Makes the day go faster if there’s no hostility, haha!
I’m surprised my bladder survived all those years but we all had problems with frequent UTIs due to holding it in too long. Sorry to be graphic but it’s the truth. I’m also surprised we survived the shift work too. Changing shifts frequently really screws up your sleep patterns & mine still aren’t right. What can you do?

Hello to everyone checking in tonight & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho, thank you so much for that insightful list. So true! It NEVER hurts to remind ourselves of the basics, and they are basics because they work!
First day back from vacation was brutal. An 11 hour day,but made a good dent.
JVo, hope you are doing well. One thing at know for sure, AL won’t help any situation. Don’t give yourself a choice, Dick Head (Addiction Head) will win every time.
Great to see everyone, hang in there, no matter what! Byrdie

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just remember, you are a quality class act, and know your stuff well. We can't always get people to see and appreciate our work. For me, i'm learning to accept this and be ok with it. I can't control what others do or think. I can only control my outlook though.

Loved that about learning to accept & be ok that we can't get people to appreciate our work. So very true and I've been working on that myself. It has helped my mental outlook so much.

An excerpt from Holly Whitaker's Tempest Newsletter that I love... About the "right time to quit alcohol":
2. Starting doesn’t mean forever.
4. You don’t have to know how the story ends. You literally only have to think about the thing in front of you.
5. It will feel impossible. One of my favorite quotes by Nelson Mandela: “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Thank you for that. Really great. All of them are so true. But, these were really key points for me. It took me a couple of years to say I was not going to drink again. I just wasn't drinking today. I learned to be ok with not knowing how the story ends. And it absolutely did feel impossible. But, it wasn't!!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nest.

Kensho, thanks for sharing that. It ALL resonates with me, but especially this one:

7. Holy hell it’s worth it. On the other side of a shitty relationship with alcohol is the thing you want. A problem with booze isn’t a curse, it’s an invitation. The work you do to figure this thing out is the point of all of it; this is the path laid out before you, and it is filled with the things people spend their whole lives looking for.

The "work" I've done in sobriety IS the point of it all. I have truly found myself and who I am. I am so grateful for that.

Lav, so true. Some ages have just taken longer to figure out...

It is definitely dark when I wake up now - easing in to autumn. This makes me sad as I love the light and the sun of summer. I actually have spent a good deal of my life not liking autumn because it was on the way to dark winter, but if I think about it, I love the leaves, the smells, the colors. I waste autumn dreading winter. I'm going to try to change my perspective this season and start finding gratitude in my fall season. Here we go! I'm so grateful for the "New Year" we get every year in schools.

Happy SOBER Tuesday,

Pav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I waste autumn dreading winter.

I'm guilty of that, too, Pav, and like you, I'm trying to enjoy what is good about each season. I especially don't like winter but was brought up short about that several years ago by a friend who was dying. I was sitting with her on a nasty, late-winter, low-40s, gray day with snow flurries. She looked out the big window and commented how beautiful it was and that it might be the last snowfall she would ever see. Those kind of days always make me think of her and remind me to appreciate how great it is simply to be alive, no matter what our surroundings.

I try to counteract the darkness of winter with white Christmas and rope lights in various rooms that turn on before I come downstairs, are off during the midday, and then turn on again at dusk until after I go to bed. The warm glow is really welcoming and calming.

I also love Holly's list that you posted, [MENTION=20476]KENSHO[/MENTION], and think it would be a great addition to the toolbox. It is hard for me to remember how scary it is to decide to quit and feel so bad when people I care about just can't do it because they can't accept the 'foreverness' of it. That thought is just too overwhelming. Belle gets that, allowing her to help people as they are, not as she wishes they were. It's a good lesson.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

A quick check in for me, going to be a lovely day after some coolish weather.

G, happy 1st birthday for today in Aus land. You have stuck by this sobriety gig and look where it has gotten you. a big hug for today and i hope you keep smiling that smile all day long. See you Saturday.

Not much to report here, having some medical issues which are annoying and i think "why me" but working in a hospital i realise that i am truly lucky, i have 90% of my health, i dont drink and i dont smoke and i am healthy. never thought i would say all of that in one sentence. Carl is back to walking and the weather is becoming nicer.

glad everyone is sounding strong. Welcome Nursie, keep on here you wont regret it. Where are you J?

take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Mr G, your upside down time confuses me, but I think we are close enough to wish a heartfelt congratulations on ONE YEAR! I can’t tell you how proud I am of you! Not only have you helped yourself, but turn back around to lend a hand to your fellow man. You get top scores for citizenship!
Congratulations on YOUR BIG DAY! So happy for you! :dancin: Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations Mr.G!!!!!!:welldone::yay:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends!

Si! it's wednesday morning here. Day 365 for me! That's 1 year sober today. Holy catapulting clergy! Thanks Ava, Byrdy, Pauly for your kind words and congrat's. Keeping connected here regularly has helped propel me along to be sure. Of course, we must make the decision to change ourselves and take the daily steps towards our best life, whatever that is for us. It's an inside job isn't it?

I too like Holly's quote and vibe. Thanks friend Kensho for sharing. My work on myself to change is indeed the point of it all. Of this life. Because the self discovery you get from the inner work and self examination required to see what the hell is going on within and to start changing what we need to, is a real growth experience overall, not just about stopping boozing. In my case and for many, this particular battle is transformational and will launch your vibe like a rocket between your legs into outer space where there are NO LIMITS (once you decide to go for it).

I feel like i've matured as a person finally. lol. As you see, this can take some time. Keep turning up for yourself pardners. Do something you love everyday. Comfort zones are for floral man bag carriers. Git some self care in every day. Be gentle on yourself and ditch the negative self talk and people. Have fun and spend time with people who want the best for you. They're out there. Sometimes we have to find 'em. Hey! wait a cotton pickin dogone minute. They're right here. It's you folk for starters. 'Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.'

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday evening Nesters,

But I know it’s Wednesday in OZ so I want to say CONGRATS to G on your 1 year AF anniversary :welldone:
It’s a wonderful accomplishment & I hope you are as proud as we are of you!!!!!

Hot day here but I got to have lunch & a nice chat with my daughter. I feel blessed.

Hello to everyone & wishing for a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[NoraC]

Re: Newbies Nest

Mr G - Congratulations!!! :welldone::welldone: