Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Had a good weekend. I made a cake for my customer meeting next week. Last night, I had dinner with 2 ladies from my DNA support group. You know, whenever you think you have it bad, there is always someone else who has it worse. Made me grateful.
Im so happy that G, Steady and Ava got together! You deserved a cake and candle, G! You are the man! It’s incredible to have been witness to your growth! So proud of you! Waves to all! ByrdieB98C3B9E-FCD9-448C-9A04-7810065F9576.jpg

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.
That is so cool that Ava, G and Steady got to meet. I believe it when G says it was hard to get a word in edge wise, haha!

Hopefully some day I get to meet up with some of you. Cowboy, you live in Alberta. We should go for coffee sometime when you are in Calgary.
Ava, that was so nice what you said about loving me. It mad me really happy. Yes, my co worker is coming around. I think she was just stressed out with her stuff, but it’s ALL about me isn’t it?

I agree with you Byrdie, I am glad you are grateful. I hope your day goes well tomorrow.

Well, I am tired. Goodnight beautiful people xo.

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Back from our little vacation to the beach. It was BEAUTIFUL weather, and I toasted to Mr. G's one year by getting in the (COLD) water every day. The beach is good for my soul - need to get there more often!

Ava, Steady and Mr. G - so glad you got to meet and get to know each other. It is good to hear you all doing so well, supporting each other, and having fun. Happy 1 Year, G. Ava - that's a long walk to and from - you earned that cake!

I guess I'm closest in geography to Wags and/or Pauly, but still many, many miles away! Maybe some day...

Beautiful cake, Byrdie. And the DNA support group sounds so interesting. I am sure someone will beat me to it, but there's a book in here somewhere about all of the families lost and found with this new testing.

Hi, Nar, Lav, everyone.

Happy SOBER Monday,
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, Pav, there is definately a book in here somewhere. I think there are actually a couple out already, on that DNA support group site, they have listed a few must reads. I feel like I'm living it and not sure I want to read about it! Ha! Sometimes coping with a situation just amounts to letting some time pass. One of the ladies I had dinner with was the oldest of 5 girls and learned thru a DNA test last year that each one has a different father! The dad that raised them was father to NONE of them. This lady is 71 and just finding this out. Needless to say, she was derailed. She has her father narrowed down to 2 men. They are deceased and their children refuse to test and to have contact with her. Her sisters are working on trying to figure out who their bio dads are. One was a neighbor, one was a doctor, one a dentist and another was a long haul truck driver! Sheesh, plus her mom was a stay at home mom, who knows how she managed all this activity! Just nuts.
Hitting the road tomorrow. Hugs to all, glad I don't drink! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Glad to see so many checking in today
You sure can tell Fall is not far off, the sun sets earlier each day. I just wish the heat & humidity would make an exit.

Narilly, you do know PQ is in Calgary, right? Maybe you two could meet up sometime.

Pav, glad you enjoyed the chilly ocean & beach

Byrdie, that’s an awesome looking cake!
I hope this week brings you something nice, just like you deserve.

Hello to everyone else & wishing a safe night in the nest for all of us!!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Love knowing that Steady, G and Ava all got to get together. We were all with you three in spirit!

Lav - sounds like a wonderful day with your grandson, and great job with the teachable moment about the drunk driver.

Pav - glad you had such a nice getaway!

Byrdie - love the cake


Whew! I'm exhausted! My brain is so tired from the last five days of teaching, I barely know my own name. Just two more days, both of which are more moderate schedule-wise, and then I have about a week stretch with a fairly light load. I am ready for it!

I had a brief situation yesterday that upset me for a little while and just felt yucky. I had to stand firm on a boundary with a student and he didn't like it very much. It was the kind of thing that would have been an "excuse" to drink a few years ago, and as that thought flitted in and out of my mind I became clearly aware of how frequently I used to drink so as not to feel something uncomfortable. It had different versions, but it was all the same trigger. So glad I see that I'm worth more than poisoning myself just to avoid a feeling for 5 minutes.

Happy New Weeks everyone!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters,Wags sorry about your situation yesterday it does sounds stressful but like you said no use drinking over things we can't control,Byrdie,safe travels! There's actually a new series starting on one of the major channels about a doctor who impregnated lots of women with his stuff and now they're finding each other,sorta similar to your story might be interesting,Pav,glad you had a good beach getaway,I love the beach but when we went I was watching the 1 and1/2 year old so there wasn't much relaxing this trip,I was making sure he didn't walk on hot sand,or didn't burn so I put my cover-up dress on him haha! It was baggie but he was fine as long as he had his hands out but people kept thinking he was a little girl waves to the gang and wishes for a fab AF day!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

AVA, love your statement that you are “Glad to be alive, really”. What a simple thought of gratitude. Yea that you got to meet fellow MWO-ers!

Sorry you lost your deal BYRDIE. Your job sounds not so rewarding. I really hope you can get something big reeled in and then be gone! I can’t wait to see what you create in retirement! Great job being resilient!

G - your post was brilliant! I agree with you about finding other ways to cope with stress. Well said, and well lived!

Wags, home your house is back to normal. It’s hard doing double duty for more than a day or two! Sorry for your difficult day.

The further away from alcohol I get, the more reminders I need about why I don’t drink. It helps me to remember how much more alive and genuine I feel now. And how learning to deal with life’s discomforts and challenges makes us stronger, wiser, more mature and healthier than just turning to alcohol.

I'm off to the city! Made a pork dish in croc pot. Don't love the time spent in the crazy mornings, but it sure is nice to come home to dinner! Hope everyone has a strong day.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest. I've awakened with what I think is a sinus/allergy headache the last few mornings and felt much like I used to feel everyday back in the bad old days. Each time in that space between sleep and wakefulness, I've thought that I drank and was so sad and disappointed in myself. It isn't a very pleasant way to wake up and start the day but it's a great reminder of how I would feel if I ever did make the ridiculous choice to drink again. My husband and I were "doing our calendars" this morning and it looks like we have a very chaotic autumn ahead with trips and visitors. I feel a bit overwhelmed as it is but I would be a total mess if I needed to get a secret fix every day. If for no other reason (and there are many!), simply uncomplicating your life is a huge benefit of quitting. Have a good one, NS

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters,

just caught up with the past 1.5 weeks..
lots of amazing posts. G-man, congratulations once more on your year of freedom. I loved your last post with regards to dealing with stressors, simplifying daily life, finding the super woman/man within. good stuff there!
Wags, your advice on preparing for a talk/test/interview was spot on.. I was wishing that you could be my teacher.:love: I've decided (along with my colleagues) that if public speaking/being filmed is going to be a more regular part of the job, we want some professional training! My boss has to be constantly "on", but he has done the training to learn how to do so.. it's unfair to put us on the spot without that.
This weekend is the last in my string of duties. I'm mostly prepared and not feeling stressed.
I'm sad to say that I wasn't completely af these past weeks.. I caved and snuck a couple of drinks to get through the last weekend.. which wasn't even work related. It was a house warming party for my very good friend, who knows I don't drink. I didn't feel like I could cancel on her because of our history and because I was responsible for the entire food end of it.. every one I knew left on Saturday morning and I was stuck with my social anxiety and a bunch of people I didn't know until Sunday. In the end, it was fine and would have been fine and probably even better without the drinks. I was scared and thought it would help me to get through. It didn't. And now I'm even more scared for letting in the dragon.
I loved the post from Holly, Kensho. That puts everything into perspective. And just because I f****d up again, doesn't mean I have to carry on along that path.
I am afraid though.. I don't want to get lost in that world again. I don't want to lose myself again.

Anyway, my plan is to stay on track and not let one mistake lead me into hell.

I loved reading about meet ups between mwo'ers, jumping into cold ocean waters, spending time with grandkids, plans for getting cozy in the autumn/winter months..
my mom is coming on the 2nd of October for a month.. her health hasn't been great but it seems she's coming, come hell or high waters. I'm so looking forward and know that this will probably be her last visit.. so coziness is in order.
Hugs to all of you..xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I’m another enjoying an uncomplicated life - for the most part anyway
I remain grateful each & every day for my AF life, no matter what’s going on.

LC, sounds like you just proved to yourself that ‘a few drinks’ didn’t help your anxiety situation, am I right? I know we’re all led to believe that but it’s bad information, especially for the likes of us. Glad you are right back on plan, you can do this!

Wags, I no longer have the energy to work like you, haha!! I used to work some insane hours, the money was good but I think it contributed to my eventual downfall. Turns out we are nothing more than human beings!! Good luck

Pauly, we all know there’s no such thing as relaxing on a beach (or anywhere else) when there’s an 18 month old present, LOL

Kensho, crockpot pork sounds good, enjoy!

NS, nothing worse than seriously disappointing ourselves - even when it’s a dream or waking fog. I haven’t done that for a while, thankfully!!
I hope you feel better soon!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!
Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

I don't want to lose myself again.

Anyway, my plan is to stay on track and not let one mistake lead me into hell.

W'dup nesters. Yo LC! Right on. The past does NOT have to define us. It is not written in stone that we are destined to booze it up forever. Our destiny is up to us. I am the boss of my thoughts, feelings and life direction for this moment and this day. Or at least i am the boss of how i respond to life events/situations/people. Really i am responding to my perception of these things. It's a total inside job. Have a beaut week mi amiga.

I suspect our Super chefs here would rack up the ratings if yiz had a cooking show!

Do what you love today. Big waves to evabody.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - glad the "prep for a presentation" suggestions were helpful, but sorry to hear about the drinking. Thanks for telling us though - that way we can better support and help you get back on track. Seems like you made some good reflections about how you thought it would help and how ultimately it didn't (and might have kept you from an even better time). Those thoughts are part of what helps you make different decisions in the future. You've got this!

Lav - I do work like crazy for a few weeks, but then it usually cycles down and is light again, so that's definitely the trade-off. My work isn't exactly seasonal but it ramps up and down with each major test date. There used to be only 4 per year but now there are about 6 major ones and 4 minor ones. I'll have a somewhat easier load from now through late Nov, and then it should really ease up until early Jan. It works well for me most of the time but I know it wouldn't be a good fit for a lot of people.

Hellos and waves to Pav, Pauly, Ava, G, Kensho, NS and everyone else. Hope everyone who is feeling under the weather bounces back soon!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters,

NS wrote and suggested that I go back to spending more time in the Nest again, regardless of my journaling and how busy I am with work. I think that's a good idea because I do feel shaky again. It's true Gman, that my past doesn't have to define who I am now, in the present.. but I'm feeling quite frustrated with myself at the moment. With everything I've learned and with all the work I think I've done, I decide to drink to calm anxiety..?? I feel like a real dummy.
Anyway, this will pass.
The workshop I'm doing this weekend is in London and the people I'll be working with love to drink. So I need a super tight plan and will make sure I have my phone with me at all times so that I can check in here or message someone. After that, I've got a quiet Autumn planned. Last year I wrote in my wall calendar, at the top of November, "Don't make too many plans!!!"
I'm in need of quiet time.

ok. off to work. Wishing all of you Nesters a lovely day.xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

LC - glad you posted here and sorry you drank. I know for me the alcohol just caused MORE anxiety in the long run.

Last year I wrote in my wall calendar, at the top of November, "Don't make too many plans!!!"

I need to remember this - I think this is one reason I dread the "holiday" season. I end up making too many plans and going to too many parties when all I really want to do is stay home with a good puzzle and a cup of tea. I have decided that I'm both an introvert and an extrovert. I LOVE my friends and I think a lot about how grateful I am for them, but maintaining those friendships does take time - to be there and be a good friend. I also know that I really need to re-charge in quiet alone time. Always a work in progress. Stay close, LC. You can get through London without drinking - you'll feel a sense of accomplishment.

Yes, toddlers and the beach is not relaxing. Well, toddlers and anywhere is not relaxing. But I'll bet it was fun!

Kensho, any good slow cooker recipes to share? I do love coming home to a cooked dinner. I made chicken chili in my slow cooker. Put the chicken thighs in with salsa, lime and spices and then added the beans and veggies when I got home. It was very good.

Happy SOBER Hump Day!
Pav